SlipperySimon
This review contains spoilers
The black mage looking nyum nyum fella isn't in temple of the ancients.
I hate this game. When multiverse Aeris stepped out of a portal and Sephy shot ghosts out of his hands I laughed so fucking hard.
Edit: I just want to add that so much of what remake and rebirth are doing in terms of 'expansion' is basically taking elements from the og that were more metaphorical, abstract, or subtle and making them super literal to the point where individual interpretation is completely gone. Why does this trilogy have to exist? Why not just make a new story with new characters? WHY DOES VII HAVE TO BE MILKED LIKE THIS???
2nd edit: Looking back on the game, the only time when I felt any real genuine emotion was when Cait Sith's moogle got crushed by a rock and died.
I hate this game. When multiverse Aeris stepped out of a portal and Sephy shot ghosts out of his hands I laughed so fucking hard.
Edit: I just want to add that so much of what remake and rebirth are doing in terms of 'expansion' is basically taking elements from the og that were more metaphorical, abstract, or subtle and making them super literal to the point where individual interpretation is completely gone. Why does this trilogy have to exist? Why not just make a new story with new characters? WHY DOES VII HAVE TO BE MILKED LIKE THIS???
2nd edit: Looking back on the game, the only time when I felt any real genuine emotion was when Cait Sith's moogle got crushed by a rock and died.
The spooky atmosphere and visuals felt genuinely impressive to me…that is expect the moments when the silence was broken up by sudden moments of a dorky melody playing over a crusty detective man in which I would instinctively burst out laughing.
2006
This review contains spoilers
I don't think I have cried this much during an ending to a video game, holy fuck. What a beautiful work of art. This is ultimately a game about the triumph of love over capitalism and the impact your loved ones have over you even after death. But for a game so rich in themes and emotion, the tiny moments of quirkiness are what breathes life into the entire experience. Anything and everything in the world is strange and weird, and they are all precious and valuable.
At the very end of it all, that final message was perhaps one of the most life affirming things I have ever experienced, and something I really needed. I will forever hold this game dearly.
At the very end of it all, that final message was perhaps one of the most life affirming things I have ever experienced, and something I really needed. I will forever hold this game dearly.
The death of art.
2010
This review contains spoilers
"I like to drink blood and smoke the weed!"
- Dracula
- Dracula
This is some deep Gainax lore.
beating this game on original hardware with no help would have honestly been nigh impossible for me, so as a true zelda connoisseur i decided to take the pussy route and played with a guide and save states on the nes classic. did it hinder the actual difficulty and authentic experience of the game? sure. but i had a far more enjoyable time than zelda 1, due to the far more intuitive combat that actually made you have to practice to get better than awkwardly hovering around an enemy trying to predict where they'll move. the music is also more memorable and interesting, overall contributing to me preferring this game over its older sibling. so ya, i had a good time, albeit with some frustrations (fuck those blue darknuts), and while knowing that i beat it in a very baby-brained way. i'm ready to never play this or zelda 1 ever again in my life :).
also, very strange decision on the part of nintendo to change link's name to tink. guess it really is the black-sheep rpg wannabe of the series
also, very strange decision on the part of nintendo to change link's name to tink. guess it really is the black-sheep rpg wannabe of the series
2013
This review contains spoilers
the teddy bear doesn't talk to you. this game is racist against bears and their ability to talk. I can't believe that Tom hanks from castaway is willing to enslave a teddy bear
0/10
0/10
2007
This review contains spoilers
maniacal genius babies murder their parents
2014
Mastapiece
The first 40-60 hours of this game are magical...
...until you realize your villagers are broken records.
...until you realize your villagers are broken records.
2012
hahahaha misery hahahaha
2006
I honestly never got the hype. And I was a 6 year old when I first played this game.
fuck those fucking desert levels
Classic