as a child i sobbed for hours when the worm i named after my mother was devoured by a fucking hedgehog

Croft manor is where I go in my dreams for it is the only place I have felt safe the only place I have felt joy the only place I have felt home.
For It is the womb that moulded the man I am today

It’s so odd to see that in a game that wants to make Lara Croft a ‘strong female character’ it takes away so many of her strengths and characters from previous games and then slowly beats her down and brutally abuses her every chance it gets. Just to tell a story that brews down to she shot the bad guy. Like why did Lara need to almost be sexually assaulted for this basic story to be told.
You robbed a character of all her power and then throughout a game slowly drip fed her parts of her old power while exploitatively beating her any chance you got just so you could claim you made her a stronger more feminist character than ever.
It’s such a strange thing that this game got praised for making Lara stronger and a better character when it did nothing like that.

Gameplay is cool tho don’t like how the game feels so on rails tho with having an odd explorable game world you can not explore till post game. Also the tombs are shit

Layton and luke do hallucinogens for most the game

It was the best of times. It was the code Veronica of times. (My score really doesn’t reflect the quality of this game at all btw)

Okay so I attempted to play the ps2 version of this and I literally couldn’t see anything due to the awful brightness so all of this is based on the game running on a Xbox X.
This game has it all
A horrible first two hours that make the game so hard to make any progress in. So many ink ribbons and so little safe rooms, Disgusting bosses, brilliant atmosphere. A great use of the duo protagonists. Agent smith Albert wesker, The hottest Chris redfield, elaborate insect imagery, some enemies that are straight up unfair to fight, a powered up version of the most unfair reoccurring enemy in the series, A whole section built around hammer horror haunted mansion with a hint of queerphobia akin to psycho/dressed to kill, Nosferstu and last but not least incest.

Loved it.

If someone came up to me and said this is one the worst and most unfair games they have ever played I would look them dead in the eyes and say “soooo truuuuue” because they are correct.

Final notes. Gamers hate Steve because he is a mirror. I love Steve.

There’s a camp as fuck gay and lesbian porno in here somewhere I just can’t get to any of the good bits cus I have to trap these damn vampires

They just don’t make games where you can hear the Devs laughing at you for being a stupid little piss baby who walked into their perfect set Insta kill traps like they used too

Also people seeing this game is zoomer filter. I’m a zoomer dealing with chronic pain in hands thanks to meds and beat this game so get fucked

This is my red dead redemption

Borat voice ‘MY WIFE’
I love this wife guy without a single thought in his head at all. James will see the most cursed and demonic shit and have no reaction to it. Like pyramid head will start chasing him and he’s like oh I guess I have to move out this man’s way to not cause any awkward interactions.

Like when he finds the Dairy on the roof that is clearly a suicide note and he’s like ‘oh no someone lost their dairy :(‘ like na James they threw themself of the roof sweetie use that tiny brain of yours.

This game was absolutely brilliant. I loved it from start to finish a great mystery that slowly unfolds into one dude just straight up not having a good time.

Boys I think you forgot the survival horror part of your survival horror game.
Sure is good tho but the final area is so boring and goes full action and just kills the great pace.

The image of barbies youngest sister standing under huge bold text that read “grooming” is an image that will be burned into my head till I die

Why is every Bethesda fallout NPC just rude it’s not fun and it just has me reject the story

2011

This is the sole reason i didnt pass my ICT exam

Lara Croft and the cross continental journey to open one fucking door

Honestly I don’t get how you can’t love this game. Sure the platforming is utter dog shit just grow up