799 Reviews liked by Turquoisephoenix


the only bad thing about this game is that, once you finish it, that's it, you are done forever. you are burden with the curse of knowledge for the rest of your life.

The worst thing about this game is that I can't play it again

This game perfectly depicts both the horrors of space and the wonder of it. Luckily my wonder and curiosity for space is much bigger than the fear of it and the existential dread it makes me feel.

We're all doomed. But we can make things better for those who come next. And if we're lucky, we may live on in their memories and in their actions.

Simply a masterpiece.

this game reminds me of the box art from Phalanx

if I had a nickel for every time there was a underrated nintendo game that was a collection of the best mimigames in their series past on the 3ds with updated visuals and sound, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

my fossils and catalog orders are still a day out. i can only load about 12 cubic feet at a time. I can play balloon fight. Velma the goat is calling me a cocksucker to my face.
i feel like im home

I still have the memory card with the Animal Crossing stickers on around here somewhere, housing an entire acre of dead digital animals.

if video games were food, this would be a very filling and nourishing bowl of chicken noodle soup. maybe it's nothing showstopping or outlandish, but it's something that will give you a warmth that very few things on earth can.

New Animal Crossing players will hate a villager because they're ugly. Old Animal Crossing players will hate a villager because they never stopped insulting and taking items away from them. Fuck you Baabara. Anyways, it's a great game with a feeling unmatched by its successors.

This game has a character called Kiwi which says: "Kiwi!" and dances while you brutally murder them by stomping.

it's a rarity in a game where you're presented a playfield that you can actually traverse completely, and yet jumping flash nailed it all the way back in 1995. at this point in history it would've been normal to favor punitive over expansive design, but the developers here gave the player three giant jumps, infinite ammo, and a save system all of which give complete freedom in how objectives are approached (much to some contemporary reviewers' chagrin). each stage consists of obtaining multiple jetpacks strewn across the level, the ground of which exists as narratively-justified floating chunks of earth and metal. enemies wander about in the vicinity paying little attention to you until the endgame, leaving to search for each jetpack your only true objective.

with excessively permissive traversal mechanics and layout design comes a dearth of bespoke challenges for the player to undertake. it's not that the game is too easy, but that the lack of guardrails hinder attempts to adequately test the player. the game gestures at occasional constraints - ie conveyor belts that require the player to find their starting point in order to reach objects at their end point - but these rarely extend beyond merely requiring the player to jump to the right place. granted this is not a poor decision, as a gauntlet of precision platforming would likely have ended up frustrating even with the generous jump height and conspicuous drop shadow. however, I felt that the larger levels had many underutilized areas that were unnecessary given how easily they were skipped by taking other paths. more often than not these levels consist of stumbling about until the poor draw distance finally reveals the next target.

bosses are thankfully forgiving in their damage output and projectile uses considering that the poor robbit you command utilizes tank controls and thus can not strafe. even when they took potshots at me I never felt like I wasn't able to maneuver around to some extent and avoid them. presumably these become more difficult in the "extra" stages which repeat the levels with different object arrangements, but I didn't feel the need to go through this mode after already playing each of the stages once. those playing on psp as I did may notice frequent frame dips, although from watching longplays it seems like the psx original has a much more consistent framerate. probably time for me to admit the psx emulator on psp leaves a lot to be desired...

I genuinely enjoy this game, but the community can rest in hell.

RIP OW, it hasn't been a pleasure, on the social aspect of things.

Took about almost 3 hours to play and beat in one sitting. My hand and arm are tired but it was worth it to listen to good music and witness good art. A worthy successor imo. The story is very simple and bare bones but these games are mostly for the gameplay and visuals. Love the retro skins and the retro music you can switch in on the fly. Short, sweet, and fun.

This game fucks and it fucks hard.