Turquoisephoenix
2016
Like everyone else, I too miss 2016-era Pokemon Go. My fondest memory was being at Disneyland in 2016 and everyone boarding the Jungle Cruise, phone in hand, because a Gyarados spawned on the ride, with employees even joining in and giving hints. Truly one of the more whimsical moments in video game history.
The game nowadays? It's Capital F Fine. It's one of those cases where I can see the appeal but it's just Not For Me. I finally have a phone powerful enough to run this game pretty decently and I live in a metropolitan area with lots of PokeStops, but that also means I've also reached the part of the game where Niantic is shaking me down for real money to upgrade my inventory space.
The game nowadays? It's Capital F Fine. It's one of those cases where I can see the appeal but it's just Not For Me. I finally have a phone powerful enough to run this game pretty decently and I live in a metropolitan area with lots of PokeStops, but that also means I've also reached the part of the game where Niantic is shaking me down for real money to upgrade my inventory space.
You don't realize just how much the Charles Martinet noises carry a Mario game until you play this title and both Dr. Mario and Dr. Luigi just kinda stare at you in frigid silence from across an operating room with not a single wahoo or yippee leaving their lips.
More like Big Hero SUCKS!
2019
What a power move by this developer to attach lots of easy, shiny achievements to their educational video game about bees, thus enticing gamerscore-obsessed gamers to play something where every loading screen has a Fun Fact About The Honeybee.
No, I'm not telling on myself here. I played this the moment a friend told me that it was a cute nature game instead of a funny meme game. Is it low-budget and aimed at kids? Yes. Did it also make me a bit teary-eyed over the plight of bees? Also yes.
No, I'm not telling on myself here. I played this the moment a friend told me that it was a cute nature game instead of a funny meme game. Is it low-budget and aimed at kids? Yes. Did it also make me a bit teary-eyed over the plight of bees? Also yes.
2009
This game was good for what I needed it to do (test to see if my home Internet could handle the streaming feature for PS3 games) and not much else.
I do love the boldness of calling a game that only has four levels and was once sold for 5 dollars on the Wii Shop "Frogger's Return" though. Really overselling this wet fart of a game. Frogger 4 Episode 1.
I do love the boldness of calling a game that only has four levels and was once sold for 5 dollars on the Wii Shop "Frogger's Return" though. Really overselling this wet fart of a game. Frogger 4 Episode 1.
The game modes of Cooking Mama 5:
-Cook the food
-Cook the food again, but faster
-Perform menial labor harvesting supplies on Cooking Mama's industrial-sized farm or preparing meals in Cooking Mama's various fast food restaurants, one of them located in a tropical resort, in a way that makes you question just how vast Cooking Mama's enterprise truly is, to the point that Cooking Mama's antics stop feeling cute and start to take on a sinister edge as you consider the possibility that she's a ruthless billionaire strangling smaller restaurants out of business and ruining indigenous island communities similar to resort industries in the Caribbean
-Second grade math
-Feed the animals
-Cook the food
-Cook the food again, but faster
-Perform menial labor harvesting supplies on Cooking Mama's industrial-sized farm or preparing meals in Cooking Mama's various fast food restaurants, one of them located in a tropical resort, in a way that makes you question just how vast Cooking Mama's enterprise truly is, to the point that Cooking Mama's antics stop feeling cute and start to take on a sinister edge as you consider the possibility that she's a ruthless billionaire strangling smaller restaurants out of business and ruining indigenous island communities similar to resort industries in the Caribbean
-Second grade math
-Feed the animals
2023
Welcome to Azoria, stranger! My name's Kaspar! Nice of you to visit our lovely inn! Hey, did you know my mom gave birth to me on one of the pub tables? Yeah I'm just going to keep mentioning it every other time you talk to me! Yep, she gave birth on one of the tables! Possibly multiple since I have a brother! Have fun raising my friendship meter!
2023
While it's less "retro-feeling 3D platformer on a similar level as Banjo-Kazooie" and more "retro-feeling 3D platformer that evokes the same feelings as those random N64 games you'd pick up at Blockbuster like Gex 64 or A Bug's Life", I'm man enough to admit that this is 100% My Jam. I know when I'm being catered to, especially now that the game's hovering around the 10-20 dollar mark.
Clive 'N' Wrench is the latest of passion project collectathon 3D platformers starring a wacky little critter made by people who grew up in the 90's to appeal to other people who grew up in the 90's. While most of these 3D platformers borrow influence from the N64 greats, what sets this particular game apart is that it feels more PSX-influenced in its mechanics. Rob is a huge Muppet Monster Adventure, Spyro, and MediEvil fan, and it definitely shows up in the DNA of the game.
But is it a "good" game? Well...probably not. But my feelings are complicated.
As stated in a previous review, I have a bit of a soft spot for janky platformers as long as they aren't boring or feel like they're intentionally wasting my time (looking at YOU, Balan Wonderworld). Clive 'N' Wrench passes my Game Feel test, even if the whole game experience feels a little undercooked. Ironically, the lack of polish, ugly graphics/textures, and general jank feel to it makes it feel more like a PS1/N64 platformer than Yooka-Laylee ever did. Damning the game with faint praise, I know, but it's hard to describe this perfect blend of Odd Choices That Should've Been Ironed Out More beyond "yeah, this is what gaming in the Clinton Years felt like". Some levels just have 1000 of a single collectible for no reason at all but damnit if it isn't making me smile.
I think what Rob nailed was the movement tech in this game. I like that Clive just has a ridiculously high jump with a hover reminiscent of Spyro's glide in that you could just traverse through an entire stage provided you gave yourself enough height at the start of the glide. It makes the game rather easy, but I like turning each play area into a jungle gym. Sadly, the movement tech didn't translate into Clive-Wrench's attack moveset, leaving them with only a wimpy little spin attack that I could never quite feel out the hitbox for, meaning that I usually took damage whenever I attacked an enemy. But, as I said, this game IS pretty easy so deaths were more of a temporary annoyance than a setback.
My one major complaint (beyond "yeah fine I guess the game could've used a bigger budget/team to make a much better product") is that none of the characters feel all that interesting. I like how you see the bosses' influence within the worlds as a result of their partnership with the main villain - and I think the character design, concept and names are all fun - but then it's missing that extra Sly Cooper-y spice of them having some witty banter with our heroes. I can't believe this game manages to fumble a goofy mad scientist, a bayou witch frog that runs a casino, and a vampire named "Vlad the Impala" this badly by having them all be completely silent. Doesn't help that the boss battles range from completely terrible (Baroness Samedice) to It's Okay But Could've Been Longer (Vlad) and the boss levels range from That's Fine (The Unitaur) to The Actual Worst Thing In This Entire Game (Captain Bluebeard).
In the end, it's rough around the edges and wasn't worth its original asking price of 40 dollars, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't having fun with this goofy little game. Even if the models are kinda scary-looking.
Also what a massive power move to just include Kensington and the Museum from MediEvil 2 in your video game. The events of MediEvil are canon to Clive 'N' Wrench and I think that's beautiful.
Clive 'N' Wrench is the latest of passion project collectathon 3D platformers starring a wacky little critter made by people who grew up in the 90's to appeal to other people who grew up in the 90's. While most of these 3D platformers borrow influence from the N64 greats, what sets this particular game apart is that it feels more PSX-influenced in its mechanics. Rob is a huge Muppet Monster Adventure, Spyro, and MediEvil fan, and it definitely shows up in the DNA of the game.
But is it a "good" game? Well...probably not. But my feelings are complicated.
As stated in a previous review, I have a bit of a soft spot for janky platformers as long as they aren't boring or feel like they're intentionally wasting my time (looking at YOU, Balan Wonderworld). Clive 'N' Wrench passes my Game Feel test, even if the whole game experience feels a little undercooked. Ironically, the lack of polish, ugly graphics/textures, and general jank feel to it makes it feel more like a PS1/N64 platformer than Yooka-Laylee ever did. Damning the game with faint praise, I know, but it's hard to describe this perfect blend of Odd Choices That Should've Been Ironed Out More beyond "yeah, this is what gaming in the Clinton Years felt like". Some levels just have 1000 of a single collectible for no reason at all but damnit if it isn't making me smile.
I think what Rob nailed was the movement tech in this game. I like that Clive just has a ridiculously high jump with a hover reminiscent of Spyro's glide in that you could just traverse through an entire stage provided you gave yourself enough height at the start of the glide. It makes the game rather easy, but I like turning each play area into a jungle gym. Sadly, the movement tech didn't translate into Clive-Wrench's attack moveset, leaving them with only a wimpy little spin attack that I could never quite feel out the hitbox for, meaning that I usually took damage whenever I attacked an enemy. But, as I said, this game IS pretty easy so deaths were more of a temporary annoyance than a setback.
My one major complaint (beyond "yeah fine I guess the game could've used a bigger budget/team to make a much better product") is that none of the characters feel all that interesting. I like how you see the bosses' influence within the worlds as a result of their partnership with the main villain - and I think the character design, concept and names are all fun - but then it's missing that extra Sly Cooper-y spice of them having some witty banter with our heroes. I can't believe this game manages to fumble a goofy mad scientist, a bayou witch frog that runs a casino, and a vampire named "Vlad the Impala" this badly by having them all be completely silent. Doesn't help that the boss battles range from completely terrible (Baroness Samedice) to It's Okay But Could've Been Longer (Vlad) and the boss levels range from That's Fine (The Unitaur) to The Actual Worst Thing In This Entire Game (Captain Bluebeard).
In the end, it's rough around the edges and wasn't worth its original asking price of 40 dollars, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't having fun with this goofy little game. Even if the models are kinda scary-looking.
Also what a massive power move to just include Kensington and the Museum from MediEvil 2 in your video game. The events of MediEvil are canon to Clive 'N' Wrench and I think that's beautiful.
1989
It's nice to play a video game that I've seen hyped on the Internet for decades and going "oh hey, this IS fun!". Late 2000's era GameFAQs and YouTube, you were right about this one. You even kept the final boss unspoiled for me somehow!
Deducted half a star for Boo Beam Trap. That was the only time where it felt like the game's difficulty felt less "tough but fair" and more "actively spiteful".
Deducted half a star for Boo Beam Trap. That was the only time where it felt like the game's difficulty felt less "tough but fair" and more "actively spiteful".
This is the most physically painful game I've played in a long time. I had to pause and take breaks on the Ratatouille minigame collection because a food sorting minigame was hurting my wrist. What the fuck.
2012
Just like Ever Oasis and Pocket Card Jockey (update: this came back), HarmoKnight is a charming but kinda jank 3DS title that is destined to rot away in the eShop graveyard rather than receiving the improved sequel it so desperately needs, not with Game Freak back in the Pokemon mines until the end of time. At least Tappy still has a career after this game as one of the Gen 8 starters.
Why does Rayman look like that.
2015
I really like this game because it reminds me of that brief two year period where I was obsessed with collecting Kongregate badges and ended up playing a bunch of 2D puzzle platformers with various geometric lads. You even get some HAL-esque writing out of the deal when the boxpeople start nobly sacrificing themselves to power ancient square technology in order to save their boxplanet.
2021
My favorite bit of storytelling is how the main character is a professional digital artist and she keeps upgrading her computer and tablets while also moving the same two boxes of Copic Markers over and over. I just know her ass ain't using those.
2005
Mixing early 2000's era Hot Topic, Ratchet and Clank, and MediEvil together should've created something amazing, but instead we got passionate mediocrity with janky camera and gunplay that at least has an appealing skeleboy. I knew something was up when my main takeaway was "Man, MediEvil had better controls..."
Just read the graphic novel instead. You get to see the Grim Reaper get into a fistfight with reanimated dinosaur fossils at a museum and it whips.
Just read the graphic novel instead. You get to see the Grim Reaper get into a fistfight with reanimated dinosaur fossils at a museum and it whips.