Agressively mediocre fanservice schlock. 23 hours felt like 40. Makes you stupider the longer you think about it. I made a point to play through as many of the optional missions I could before finally giving up and admitting that 1) they are all essentially the same and 2) none of it really matters. Excruciatingly repetitive butt-rock permeates the musical score, though the barebones piano tracks and echoes of old FFVII themes are alright. Plot-wise it presents a handful of interesting character moments and mysteries that could certainly be elaborated upon, but are not. It is absolutely baffling how quickly the last act of the game wraps up without exploring the multitude of its threads in any real depth. You fight the boss and a 30 minute clipshow puts all the characters where they have to be by the end before and post credits trailer shouts "PLEASE PLAY FINAL FANTASY VII AGAIN."

On the upside:
Zack and Cloud's relationship. Genesis is hilarious. It is physically impossible not to crack a smile while watching the most well known RPG villain of all time answer a flip phone to say "Sephiroth here".