38 reviews liked by VelveteenHeart


Everybody who thought that JRPG audiences weren't to be trusted with interesting gameplay for the first 12 hours and somehow made that the norm is going to hell forever. Oh my fucking god dude I have done two and a half dungeons and multiple MMO slop quests and have unlocked gambits and they have not deigned to give me indulgences such as "Multiple Spell Elements" or "Things For Vaan To Do Other Than Press Attack" and I can't fucking STAND it anymore

So far this is my favorite of the PS2 Gundam games. It captures 79 perfectly - if you're Amuro, you're on easy street. If you're anyone else, every battle will be the most vicious dogfight of your life. The character campaigns are cool and show different sides of the OYW, and the combat is excellent. The lock-on problem of Gundam vs. isn't solved, but everything feels so smooth it's easy to ignore. Going hard on the thrusters and spinning through space feels incredible, and maneuverability varies between suits in subtle but appreciable ways. While the controls are easy to understand, mastering them is a different story. In a typical battle, you'll need to dodge projectiles, manage ammo, eliminate enemies quickly, and more if you want to survive. Learning the ropes was a challenging but rewarding experience, and by the end of my playthrough, I felt like I had advanced a lot in terms of skill. Certainly one of the best mecha action games on the PS2, and worth playing if you're a fan of Gundam.

always give children a drill they will use it for harm

s-tier kusoge
literally everything you could want from a bad game. goofy art and music, terrible controls, weird cutscenes where sonic says "robuttnik", glitches, broken level design, dreadful difficulty, and near the end of the game there's a shmup section with a midi version of the final countdown. a legendary moment in gaming history.

I thought the whole gay lawyers thing was a joke so when Phoenix and Miles starting having rough gay sex during the credits I was just slightly caught off-guard.

Ape Escape without Soichi Terada is like an angel without it's wings

are you using your time to properly think and talk with art? are you listening? or do you plug your ears anytime it tries to talk with you, to challenge you and make you rethink what you're engaging with?

i don't think i have any common ground with most people who like videogames, actually. but i don't think this is just videogames anymore, this is endemic in all of the arts. people stopped being listeners, started being consumers. no long a plot twist will make your heart skip a beat, now it's the author "betraying" your trust. no longer can complicated concept be presented before your public, now you're "fumbling", "overdesigning" or whatever new word people will invent to use as analytical shortcuts. like, really, you spent 90h with this game and all you could get back from it was that it has "Ubisoft-like" design because it has towers? i don't care if you gave the game 4 or 5 stars or if that was a compliment, is it that hard to think more about it? am i setting the bar too high? probably.

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is not a product, it's an art piece which you converse with (that's honestly 99.9% of games too btw). hefty admission price for sure, but it does not need to cater to you at any moment. it needs to be heard, seen, felt, I think running around the grasslands felt incredible and vibrant, i love how every map changes its whole design based on the chocobos, i love how sidequests have their own little songs to them with battle music included, i love how every character gets explored a whole ton more because now they have the time to do so, I love how Tifa can be herself instead of Cloud's past, I liked every change, I think this game is probably one of the most courageous games ever made and that will ever be made and people won't appreciate it enough, but that's fine because I will.

the more i think about it, the more i think about its last hours, the more i think how they handled -that moment- the more I like it. I like this and Remake for entirely different reasons, but Rebirth made me feel things I don't think i was even aware I could feel playing a game and I don't mean crying i cry for everything and i cried super hard at several moments in this game, it's something else, which i would only dare to explain if I had spoilered this text but i don't want to do so.

like i said i think i finally realized my lack of common ground is what makes it really hard to talk about videogames outside of my circle, people who only wear "videogames are art!!" as a mantle for feeling validated, but not really treating them much differently than the hamburger they'll buy for lunch. i don't mind if you didn't like the game but i only ask for something of substance, an interesting read, at the very least a personal perspective, not internet gaming buzzwords i can see in like 60 other reviews. i just want to think and challenge myself and i feel like i'm always going into a hivemind. but i guess that's fine i get to cherish good things when i see them at least.

i just need to remind myself of this

goes hard if you're an 11 year old girl but goes even harder if you're a stupid fat guy in his 20s

Swagless Bullet Witch with Metal Gear Solid rejects for antagonists. Now, don't get me wrong: Vincent Valentine is the only boy in the whole world I would date. I love him. I would do anything for him. But his game is ass, and there's not enough here to make it a bad game that's actually kind of good somehow or whatever; it's just dry, crumbly, and overproduced. I was absolutely fucking ready to be this game's strongest warrior, but it's really a case of what you see is what you get, and I can't even really bring myself to watch the rest of the cutscenes on YouTube, even after getting over halfway through the game in a single sitting a couple weeks ago. I don't even really hate the game either, it's probably the least offensive entry in the 2000s era of the FF7 compilation, it's just playing this game and watching these characters say words in cutscenes makes my tummy hurt.

The logistics behind Cait Sith in this one are really funny though, like what the fuck is even going on with that.

perfect video game. i've missed so many of my son's baseball games because i was busy playing it

3 lists liked by VelveteenHeart