You guys think Ashley's teacher is still a spoon? Do you think the teacher suffers in agony every day knowing that they will never be restored to their mortal form and likely won't see their friends or family ever again. What caused Ashley to turn her teacher into a spoon? She could've just not wanted to face the consequences of not doing her homework, but the song implies Ashley finishes all of her homework. Was Ashley just late to class one day? Was Ashley told not to use magic in the classroom? Was it an argument in the classroom? Ashley apparently doesn't have many friends, so did the teacher step in if Ashley was getting hostile towards other students (or vice versa). Did the other kids watch in horror as Ashley turned the teacher into a mere kitchen utensil. Since we never see Ashley attend school in the WarioWare games, we can presume she was expelled over this incident. There's no way they would've overlooked an employee that went missing, and if the class saw it there were eyewitnesses. Has anyone used the teacher turned spoon to eat anything? How would it feel to be a conscious spoon and be used to eat stuff? Am I overthinking this?

Mario Kart DS brings the iconic Mario Kart franchise to the just as iconic Nintendo DS system. Despite returning to having only one controlled character at a time, it brings back Double Dash's unique character karts. These karts have some of the most creative and bizarre designs in the series, ranging from Toad in his little mushroom car, Waluigi's EXCAVATOR, Dry Bones' FUCKING TANK, and more. DS also let you replace character emblems with a custom drawn emblem by you! Mario's red M is no more, now it can be Peter's P, or your P, you know your uh this feature would not return in future installments.

The game controls rather nicely for a Mario Kart game, and feels fun to play, which is a sigh of relief after Double Dash feels like every track is an ice level. There is an advanced technique dubbed "Snaking" that exploits the drift system and pretty much dominates in the world record scene. This game has a very solid lineup of characters. Unfortunately, the model quality isn't the best resulting in stuff like DK's teeth being glued together and having him stuck grinning. Even when younger I thought that was uncanny.

Mario Kart DS introduced four new cups, Shell, Banana, Leaf, and Lightning, which consisted of tracks from past Mario Kart games. While not the first to do this (Super Circuit had every SNES track) these four new cups would become the standard for bringing back old fan favorites. Unfortunately, DS has a rather weak selection. While later games would not try and hide bias towards the N64, this game had each cup contain one per game. This isn't a bad idea, but the final result ended up with us getting some of the lamer N64 courses, a handful of annoying SNES tracks, and GCN courses that feel like massive downgrades that outright remove shortcuts and 2 Baby Park laps for whatever reason.

Thankfully, the course lineup makes up for it with some awesome new courses. Delfino Square, Tick Tock Clock, and Airship Fortress take locations from past Mario platformers and turn them into great race tracks. DS also brings us Waluigi Pinball, a level with a creative aesthetic and fun layout that might be my favorite in the franchise. Also present in this game are a fun Battle Mode and the ever popular Mission Mode. Missions are fun single player distractions but I don't think it's something I'd actively jump out of my seat for if they made a comeback.

Overall, Mario Kart DS is a solid handheld entry in the franchise, and one I have rather fond memories of.

This game is a fantastic entry in the Final Fantasy series. It's got great characters with interesting abilities, a lot of side content and secrets to find in the world, and a really cool final boss. It's such a long showdown that the theme for the battle "Dancing Mad" clocks in at SEVENTEEN minutes, yet is still one of the finest compositions I've heard in a video game. The infamously long song is an epic and chaotic piece incorporating the title screen theme and Kefka's leitmotif near the end. The icing on the cake is Kefka's laugh itself being a part of the song, which is the coolest shit ever. Does Sephiroth have that? I don't think so, looks like the Kefka chads stay winning.

A legendary, genre defining RPG that I think every gamer should give a try. It's got great characters, an amazing soundtrack, and a really cool final boss. This game is infamous for some rather long and drawn out animations but the final boss having an attack that lasts 2 minutes where he explodes the solar system before HURLING THE SUN at the party while the compressed game audio is CHANTING HIS NAME is the coolest shit ever. Does Kefka have that? I don't think so, looks like the Sephiroth chads stay winning.

Sora is an absolutely incredible final character and a fantastic sendoff to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. For a franchise that has a pretty abysmal track record for finales, it's nice to see them hit an absolute home run with a pipe dream inclusion for so many that people said would never ever happen. Unfortunately I am people and I'm a little bitter it was the character I asserted had no chance at fighter 11 during the weeks leading up to the reveal and not Tabuu they had no reason to put trophies in the trailer after replacing them if they weren't gonna bring back the guy who turned characters into trophies.

THIS is how you do a Smash Brothers fighter. How do we introduce our new DLC character? Have him slice the final boss of the game (previously established to have effortlessly murdered every other fighter bar Kirby) in half and then go "FUCK YOU IM THE VILLAIN NOW!" Give him a powerful feeling moveset, a gorgeous stage, and expand the infamous FF7 music collection, and you have a serious contender for one of Ultimate's best new challengers. Sure the costumes are bad and he only brings FF7 music because licensing is a bitch, but not every character can be perfect. I'm a huge fan of antagonist characters, seeing villains get added to Smash is always a treat, and Sephiroth absolutely delivered a DLC pack I didn't know I needed.