Wimmer
Y'know these licensed games that have a bit more budget than others but still end up doing the thing where it's okayish when it starts but it gradually gets worse and more frustrating, that's one of them.
First of all, if any of you aren't aware, this game was released 10 days before the release of the movie, could you imagine getting to know the story of this movie via the game that only showcases the action part of the movie and uses completely different voice actors? (which would later end up being the Clone Wars cartoon voice actors)
Outside of this fun fact, this game is extremely forgettable, it's a generic hack-and-slash game that feels like a shittier Force Unleashed. It goes over most parts of the movie where either Anakin or Obi-Wan kills robots or clones but not the younglings obviously, sometimes like most video game adaptations of a movie it starts being a little whacky and creative by adding original content to pad out the game because this game is only 4 hours long, it's almost as long as the movie itself I can't imagine paying this 60$ at launch just to get some Revenge of the Sith movie clips on my Xbox.
Yeah, this was a big selling point for the game it uses clips from the movie which was not out yet at that point, though it uses different voices so it feels wrong.
There's really not much to say about this game, the combat is just mashing buttons over and over fighting the same enemies over and over, the only different missions are the boss missions which focus on Jedi fights like the Count Dooku boss and they suck, like really most of them are just "Mash the button and hope that the boss isn't blocking your attacks".
I just described the whole game, that's it, it's just that for 4 hours but it does have a secret ending where you play as Anakin during the final boss (it's the exact same shitty final boss) but you get a special cutscene where Anakin kills Obi-Wan AND Palpatine and it just makes me wish we'd get a Star Wars "What If".
It also has a secret Darth Vader vs Obi-Wan from Episode 4 using clips from the movie and it's really neat but short too.
Is there any reason to play this game now? Not really unless you feel like being in 2005 again.
First of all, if any of you aren't aware, this game was released 10 days before the release of the movie, could you imagine getting to know the story of this movie via the game that only showcases the action part of the movie and uses completely different voice actors? (which would later end up being the Clone Wars cartoon voice actors)
Outside of this fun fact, this game is extremely forgettable, it's a generic hack-and-slash game that feels like a shittier Force Unleashed. It goes over most parts of the movie where either Anakin or Obi-Wan kills robots or clones but not the younglings obviously, sometimes like most video game adaptations of a movie it starts being a little whacky and creative by adding original content to pad out the game because this game is only 4 hours long, it's almost as long as the movie itself I can't imagine paying this 60$ at launch just to get some Revenge of the Sith movie clips on my Xbox.
Yeah, this was a big selling point for the game it uses clips from the movie which was not out yet at that point, though it uses different voices so it feels wrong.
There's really not much to say about this game, the combat is just mashing buttons over and over fighting the same enemies over and over, the only different missions are the boss missions which focus on Jedi fights like the Count Dooku boss and they suck, like really most of them are just "Mash the button and hope that the boss isn't blocking your attacks".
I just described the whole game, that's it, it's just that for 4 hours but it does have a secret ending where you play as Anakin during the final boss (it's the exact same shitty final boss) but you get a special cutscene where Anakin kills Obi-Wan AND Palpatine and it just makes me wish we'd get a Star Wars "What If".
It also has a secret Darth Vader vs Obi-Wan from Episode 4 using clips from the movie and it's really neat but short too.
Is there any reason to play this game now? Not really unless you feel like being in 2005 again.
1997
Some fat guy in a casino told me to kill the mayor of a city so I did it, no questions asked, that's what I like about this game.
Fallout is everyone's favorite Todd Howard franchise not made by Todd Howard about the world if nuclear warfare happened. From what I've seen this is every middle-aged man's favorite game so I thought "Why not check it out" while expecting the most rotten-aged game of all time, and what I got was somewhat that with some neat stuff as well somewhat like an old cheese that you can still eat but damn it smells!
Like anyone playing this game past the release of Fallout 4, I had to learn how this game works and it's not really easy since as much as Fallout 1 gets praised as the most novel RPG of all time and whatnot, there are not many guides or video talking about this game, so it always makes me feel like Fallout fans are all talk but doesn't actually play the freakin games, lol.
So after learning how this stupid game works, I had to go through one of the most awful quest lines of all time, which obviously is the Water chip quest. I believe that the Water Chip questline is terribly designed because WHY would you hurry the player in a complicated game with barely anything to guide him around? Thankfully the quest isn't all that hard to figure out, but in a game that focuses on letting the player choose the outcome of what they want to do or become is pretty weird, it just ends up making any eventual replay of the game just a linear slog through Necropolis.
Now I'd like to say that I've never got the true ending of Fallout 1 so yes my opinion is worthless now I only go to the point where I meet Master and I either kill him (He destroys me) or I sell my soul (and vault) to him for the bad ending, honestly I wouldn't have minded playing more but the random encounters ruin the game for me, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY?! I wanted to do the Brotherhood of Steel questline but it required me going to the glow, but as I was going there I pretty much couldn't spend 1 second without triggering an encounter, I can't tell if the game was broken or not and it's not because I thought the encounters were hard, on the contrary, I kept getting the same boring raider and monsters, again and again, it was BORING! And once I got there I needed a rope because obviously, you need a fucking rope everywhere. So I just went back to the hub and never came back to this shitty location.
So it's fair to say that this game isn't flawless, the combat is fine but it can be really slow, the looting and inventory management with a companion is really tedious, and walking from point A to point B with the billion encounters is awful, and the story isn't really interesting, yep, that's right.
I think the water chip quest is still somewhat smart because it forces you to explore everywhere and meet all kinds of people, but the people aren't really interesting I find that most missions tend to be "I'm X and you need to kill Y for me" which is kinda fun honestly I love killing people for money but it's not much of a story, the second part of the game always seemed dumb to me like the Overseer randomly going like "Oh yeah there's a bad guy now I just know there is go find him to get the credits rolling". Not saying that Master is a bad character, he's really cool like most weird creatures you can find in this game.
There's plenty of unbalanced stuff in the game, the perk and skill points are a mess, you can pretty much cheese the game with a laser weapon, the merchant sucks and the economy is kinda broken, the game feels like its holding itself with shitty ducktape and a small gust of wind would break everything (Like a CPU if you know what I mean)
I respect this game a lot for bringing so much to the Fallout universe but it's not a super fun game to come back to, I really wish this game would get a remake, and not necessarily a 3D one, but rather something that balances the game and make it more fun to explore and learn about the world because I do feel like this game has incredible lore but getting to know it just by playing the game can be painful.
I may plan on going back to this game just to finish it but at the moment I'd rather see how Fallout 2 does thing since people seem to like that one a lot better.
Fallout is everyone's favorite Todd Howard franchise not made by Todd Howard about the world if nuclear warfare happened. From what I've seen this is every middle-aged man's favorite game so I thought "Why not check it out" while expecting the most rotten-aged game of all time, and what I got was somewhat that with some neat stuff as well somewhat like an old cheese that you can still eat but damn it smells!
Like anyone playing this game past the release of Fallout 4, I had to learn how this game works and it's not really easy since as much as Fallout 1 gets praised as the most novel RPG of all time and whatnot, there are not many guides or video talking about this game, so it always makes me feel like Fallout fans are all talk but doesn't actually play the freakin games, lol.
So after learning how this stupid game works, I had to go through one of the most awful quest lines of all time, which obviously is the Water chip quest. I believe that the Water Chip questline is terribly designed because WHY would you hurry the player in a complicated game with barely anything to guide him around? Thankfully the quest isn't all that hard to figure out, but in a game that focuses on letting the player choose the outcome of what they want to do or become is pretty weird, it just ends up making any eventual replay of the game just a linear slog through Necropolis.
Now I'd like to say that I've never got the true ending of Fallout 1 so yes my opinion is worthless now I only go to the point where I meet Master and I either kill him (He destroys me) or I sell my soul (and vault) to him for the bad ending, honestly I wouldn't have minded playing more but the random encounters ruin the game for me, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY?! I wanted to do the Brotherhood of Steel questline but it required me going to the glow, but as I was going there I pretty much couldn't spend 1 second without triggering an encounter, I can't tell if the game was broken or not and it's not because I thought the encounters were hard, on the contrary, I kept getting the same boring raider and monsters, again and again, it was BORING! And once I got there I needed a rope because obviously, you need a fucking rope everywhere. So I just went back to the hub and never came back to this shitty location.
So it's fair to say that this game isn't flawless, the combat is fine but it can be really slow, the looting and inventory management with a companion is really tedious, and walking from point A to point B with the billion encounters is awful, and the story isn't really interesting, yep, that's right.
I think the water chip quest is still somewhat smart because it forces you to explore everywhere and meet all kinds of people, but the people aren't really interesting I find that most missions tend to be "I'm X and you need to kill Y for me" which is kinda fun honestly I love killing people for money but it's not much of a story, the second part of the game always seemed dumb to me like the Overseer randomly going like "Oh yeah there's a bad guy now I just know there is go find him to get the credits rolling". Not saying that Master is a bad character, he's really cool like most weird creatures you can find in this game.
There's plenty of unbalanced stuff in the game, the perk and skill points are a mess, you can pretty much cheese the game with a laser weapon, the merchant sucks and the economy is kinda broken, the game feels like its holding itself with shitty ducktape and a small gust of wind would break everything (Like a CPU if you know what I mean)
I respect this game a lot for bringing so much to the Fallout universe but it's not a super fun game to come back to, I really wish this game would get a remake, and not necessarily a 3D one, but rather something that balances the game and make it more fun to explore and learn about the world because I do feel like this game has incredible lore but getting to know it just by playing the game can be painful.
I may plan on going back to this game just to finish it but at the moment I'd rather see how Fallout 2 does thing since people seem to like that one a lot better.
1993
This game gave me a headache.
I feel like I would enjoy this game way more if I played it in the 90s but for what it is nowadays is nothing much other than a cool-looking novelty, there's not many reasons to come back to this one it's pretty much just a shitty Rogue Leader game but with Star Fox graphics.
The game is constantly the same thing, space map, kill X amount of Tie fighters under said time limit, new space map, kill Tie fighters again.
It gets really repetitive and it's not even fun to kill the tie fighters they move way too fast and I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle them. The biggest difficulty in this game is the time limit as the Tie themselves are not very aggressive, the difficulty comes from dealing with all of them in time and it's not really fun.
That's kinda it, looks neat, not super fun, wouldn't really play again.
I feel like I would enjoy this game way more if I played it in the 90s but for what it is nowadays is nothing much other than a cool-looking novelty, there's not many reasons to come back to this one it's pretty much just a shitty Rogue Leader game but with Star Fox graphics.
The game is constantly the same thing, space map, kill X amount of Tie fighters under said time limit, new space map, kill Tie fighters again.
It gets really repetitive and it's not even fun to kill the tie fighters they move way too fast and I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle them. The biggest difficulty in this game is the time limit as the Tie themselves are not very aggressive, the difficulty comes from dealing with all of them in time and it's not really fun.
That's kinda it, looks neat, not super fun, wouldn't really play again.
People often joke about this game and only regarding it as “Good nostalgia” but man this game is so much more than good nostalgia, it’s straight up good game design from licensed game, that’s right if anything Lego Star Wars is the most licensed of all licensed games I mean Lego and Star Wars mixed together? Those two brands were the biggest thing in the early 2000s and I am SO RELIEVED that they actually put efforts into it.
Most people either don’t know or forgot this version existed, when we talk about Lego Star Wars we talk about The complete saga, that’s the big boy of the franchise and it really made me think “Is the original really worth coming back to?”
Andddd… No not really, but you should if you are curious.
Unfortunately there’s nothing special waiting for you in this version, it does have some cool features like Dex’s Dinner from Episode 2 as the HUB, the Cantina is better but it’s a nice breathe of fresh air with The original trilogy and The complete Saga both using the Cantina. We got a totally unique version of Yoda which is OP as hell for some reason, they really debuffed him in the Complete Saga and it really bums me out. And we got a secret Tantive IV stage but that doesn’t really matter when The complete saga already has the entirety of Episode IV does it? It was a sweet touch anyway.
So far it only seems like we are missing out on features but unfortunately it does have some bad, nothing terrible, but bad nonetheless compared to the remastered version of the complete saga.
The graphics are rough, it’s clear they either didn’t have time or couldn’t optimise the game enough to have higher polygon models and high quality textures.
The stages can be pretty tedious or boring at times, they lack alternate path or anything to shake up a replay, they tried to fix this in the Complete Saga but playing the Prequel trilogy and the Original Trilogy back to back it’s easy to tell that the latter are so much better.
The minikits, while iconic and fun to collect, really lacks variety in their placements, you can tell they just randomly scattered them around without really putting the characters abilities into play, it’s often just “Woah look at this out of reach Minikit, you can’t get it now come back with R2D2 or Jar Jar Binks!”, The Complete Saga fixed this by adding more characters ability taken from Lego Star Wars 2 and mixing them up in the original stage by adding new bonus rooms and such to make the game more fun to replay on Freeplay and just explore all of these funky bonus rooms that we all love.
Again with the Minikits, they are completely useless, you get nothing except coins I believe when getting all 10 of them, like there’s no incentive to go back and play the stages again other than the game itself being good so good job on that part TTGames, but imagine if the stages were fun to replay AND you’d get cool shit for completing them! Yeah I know I’m just talking about the complete saga yet again but this is one of the best Remaster ever made, it fixes so much from the original games, it’s great!
Red bricks are nowhere to be seen, the extras are here but only the generic worthless funny crap that cost a lot of studs compared to the characters for some reason, guess it might be good to quickly talk about the economy of this game because it’s really different from the future games, since this game doesn’t have x2,x4,… multiplication bricks it’s kind of a bitch to obtain studs, so the prices for characters are hella cheap compared to the complete saga! funnily enough the game tracks your stud count and not a completion percentage like the other games, making the minikits even more worthless.
The lack of bonus stages in general is kinda disappointing, I know I’m asking a lot from a licensed games but the future games spoiled me so much with bonus crap I just can’t not ask for more, hell, if you ask for more it just means the game is good.
There’s one thing that tingles me about secret stage, does unlocking it via the stud counter in each stage a good game design since if you are being throughout while playing the stages for the first time it means you can instantly unlock the secret stage, but wouldn’t it be more gratifying to unlock it after collecting all of the minikits? Not forcing the player to do things they don’t want to do to unlock cool rewards or force the players to do things they may not want to do but overall makes the game more gratifying to complete while giving more depth to specific features, I’m curious to know your opinion on that.
I could go on for hours but that would be beating a dead horse, there’s unfortunately not many reason to come back to this version other than actual nostalgia for this specific version, otherwise just go with the complete saga.
I really want to give this game a higher score but it’s just a silly licensed game, the game is pretty short and the stages aren’t all that great at times, this is a certified banger for anyone who likes Lego and Star Wars but again, just go with the Complete Saga.
Most people either don’t know or forgot this version existed, when we talk about Lego Star Wars we talk about The complete saga, that’s the big boy of the franchise and it really made me think “Is the original really worth coming back to?”
Andddd… No not really, but you should if you are curious.
Unfortunately there’s nothing special waiting for you in this version, it does have some cool features like Dex’s Dinner from Episode 2 as the HUB, the Cantina is better but it’s a nice breathe of fresh air with The original trilogy and The complete Saga both using the Cantina. We got a totally unique version of Yoda which is OP as hell for some reason, they really debuffed him in the Complete Saga and it really bums me out. And we got a secret Tantive IV stage but that doesn’t really matter when The complete saga already has the entirety of Episode IV does it? It was a sweet touch anyway.
So far it only seems like we are missing out on features but unfortunately it does have some bad, nothing terrible, but bad nonetheless compared to the remastered version of the complete saga.
The graphics are rough, it’s clear they either didn’t have time or couldn’t optimise the game enough to have higher polygon models and high quality textures.
The stages can be pretty tedious or boring at times, they lack alternate path or anything to shake up a replay, they tried to fix this in the Complete Saga but playing the Prequel trilogy and the Original Trilogy back to back it’s easy to tell that the latter are so much better.
The minikits, while iconic and fun to collect, really lacks variety in their placements, you can tell they just randomly scattered them around without really putting the characters abilities into play, it’s often just “Woah look at this out of reach Minikit, you can’t get it now come back with R2D2 or Jar Jar Binks!”, The Complete Saga fixed this by adding more characters ability taken from Lego Star Wars 2 and mixing them up in the original stage by adding new bonus rooms and such to make the game more fun to replay on Freeplay and just explore all of these funky bonus rooms that we all love.
Again with the Minikits, they are completely useless, you get nothing except coins I believe when getting all 10 of them, like there’s no incentive to go back and play the stages again other than the game itself being good so good job on that part TTGames, but imagine if the stages were fun to replay AND you’d get cool shit for completing them! Yeah I know I’m just talking about the complete saga yet again but this is one of the best Remaster ever made, it fixes so much from the original games, it’s great!
Red bricks are nowhere to be seen, the extras are here but only the generic worthless funny crap that cost a lot of studs compared to the characters for some reason, guess it might be good to quickly talk about the economy of this game because it’s really different from the future games, since this game doesn’t have x2,x4,… multiplication bricks it’s kind of a bitch to obtain studs, so the prices for characters are hella cheap compared to the complete saga! funnily enough the game tracks your stud count and not a completion percentage like the other games, making the minikits even more worthless.
The lack of bonus stages in general is kinda disappointing, I know I’m asking a lot from a licensed games but the future games spoiled me so much with bonus crap I just can’t not ask for more, hell, if you ask for more it just means the game is good.
There’s one thing that tingles me about secret stage, does unlocking it via the stud counter in each stage a good game design since if you are being throughout while playing the stages for the first time it means you can instantly unlock the secret stage, but wouldn’t it be more gratifying to unlock it after collecting all of the minikits? Not forcing the player to do things they don’t want to do to unlock cool rewards or force the players to do things they may not want to do but overall makes the game more gratifying to complete while giving more depth to specific features, I’m curious to know your opinion on that.
I could go on for hours but that would be beating a dead horse, there’s unfortunately not many reason to come back to this version other than actual nostalgia for this specific version, otherwise just go with the complete saga.
I really want to give this game a higher score but it’s just a silly licensed game, the game is pretty short and the stages aren’t all that great at times, this is a certified banger for anyone who likes Lego and Star Wars but again, just go with the Complete Saga.
2021
This might be one of my biggest disappointments in terms of "hyped" games, and this game is from 2010 it's insane to be disappointed by an old piece of shit!
"Play Alan Wake", they said, and since this game is somewhat considered a classic I thought "Sure, I loved Max Payne 2, and storytelling in games can be great! I'm sure I can trust Remedy's new game!" but oh-so-wrong I was!
This is the tale of a little boy saddened to see the state of Alan Wake on his Playstation 5.
Alright so pointing out the obvious, I don't care about pseud stories related to books and whatnot, I'm a gamer! I like Cheetos, I like Gamecubes, I like boxes with Xs on them and stupid shit like Mario! I don't fucking know about books and I'm not a writer either so I surely can't relate to Alan Wake and his stupid issues.
I'm not saying that all video game stories have to be dumb or relatable to the player, I'm just saying that if you give your game to greasy Xbox 360 players, from the Max Payne creators, I'm pretty sure they'd expect something else from the game.
Something that perplexes me is that this game does not seem to know what it wants to be, do you want to be a more story-focused experience like a Telltale game with episodes and such, or do you want to be a "Survival horror" similar to Resident Evil 5 and 6 (oh god)?
The game feels like they only had one idea on the drawing board and it was "Play with light and shadow", then they thought "Let's make it a horror game", but then like all 360era horror games it turned into a more action-focused game which removes any scares and replaces it by long fucking corridors that never ends with the same enemies and gameplay over and over, mixed with some poor metaphorical metastory meta whatever storytelling with a confusing cutscene and a story that writes itself with the most obvious ending possible which only released as DLC, yeah I'm pissed.
I have a fun game in mind, since this game is pretty much a mix of all cliché Xbox 360 games I think it would be fun to list everything you've seen overused in other games from that era!
This game is a third-person shooter
It has forced vehicle sections
it has regenerative HP
It has useless garbage collectibles for "Lore" and a set number of bonus collectibles for a nice "nothing" reward for collecting all 100
It uses a chapter system
Italian new-yorker sidekick
And probably many more that I cannot bring myself to remember, if anything this game is the most 360 of them all!
But is the main gimmick of the game even good? It's cool for 10 minutes, then you realize the "Light to fight monster" gimmick is just a loading bar for enemies, it never gets used in creative ways, you just flash the same enemies over and over till the very end of the game, the game doesn't even have real boss fights they are just copy pasted fast ghost dudes with the model of a relevant character from that chapter.
This game just feels like a time waster, the end twist is obvious, the gameplay isn't fun and it's REALLY repetitive, the characters all suck I don't like any of them other than the Italian sidekick.
I truly do not understand what people find so special about this game, did the people praising it even finish it?
But maybe it's just me, maybe I'm too dumb to understand such a deep and complex story! The boring gameplay just represents the sadness of alan wake! I swear!
"Play Alan Wake", they said, and since this game is somewhat considered a classic I thought "Sure, I loved Max Payne 2, and storytelling in games can be great! I'm sure I can trust Remedy's new game!" but oh-so-wrong I was!
This is the tale of a little boy saddened to see the state of Alan Wake on his Playstation 5.
Alright so pointing out the obvious, I don't care about pseud stories related to books and whatnot, I'm a gamer! I like Cheetos, I like Gamecubes, I like boxes with Xs on them and stupid shit like Mario! I don't fucking know about books and I'm not a writer either so I surely can't relate to Alan Wake and his stupid issues.
I'm not saying that all video game stories have to be dumb or relatable to the player, I'm just saying that if you give your game to greasy Xbox 360 players, from the Max Payne creators, I'm pretty sure they'd expect something else from the game.
Something that perplexes me is that this game does not seem to know what it wants to be, do you want to be a more story-focused experience like a Telltale game with episodes and such, or do you want to be a "Survival horror" similar to Resident Evil 5 and 6 (oh god)?
The game feels like they only had one idea on the drawing board and it was "Play with light and shadow", then they thought "Let's make it a horror game", but then like all 360era horror games it turned into a more action-focused game which removes any scares and replaces it by long fucking corridors that never ends with the same enemies and gameplay over and over, mixed with some poor metaphorical metastory meta whatever storytelling with a confusing cutscene and a story that writes itself with the most obvious ending possible which only released as DLC, yeah I'm pissed.
I have a fun game in mind, since this game is pretty much a mix of all cliché Xbox 360 games I think it would be fun to list everything you've seen overused in other games from that era!
This game is a third-person shooter
It has forced vehicle sections
it has regenerative HP
It has useless garbage collectibles for "Lore" and a set number of bonus collectibles for a nice "nothing" reward for collecting all 100
It uses a chapter system
Italian new-yorker sidekick
And probably many more that I cannot bring myself to remember, if anything this game is the most 360 of them all!
But is the main gimmick of the game even good? It's cool for 10 minutes, then you realize the "Light to fight monster" gimmick is just a loading bar for enemies, it never gets used in creative ways, you just flash the same enemies over and over till the very end of the game, the game doesn't even have real boss fights they are just copy pasted fast ghost dudes with the model of a relevant character from that chapter.
This game just feels like a time waster, the end twist is obvious, the gameplay isn't fun and it's REALLY repetitive, the characters all suck I don't like any of them other than the Italian sidekick.
I truly do not understand what people find so special about this game, did the people praising it even finish it?
But maybe it's just me, maybe I'm too dumb to understand such a deep and complex story! The boring gameplay just represents the sadness of alan wake! I swear!
1995
Definitely one of the best Virtual boy game, it’s also Tetris.
1995
This console either have the worst shit you’ve ever played or the most “Whatever” shit you’ve ever played, sometimes it’s also Wario Land.
In this game’s case it’s just whatever, a fine and basic shooter with the gimmick of using the background and foreground to fight and avoid enemies, it’s nothing special and probably has been done before and after, and surely better, and most likely not in black and red.
The colour issue, again. The colours really hurts the game because even if the game has a 3D effect it’s still a bit hard to differentiate the background and foreground since when you only work with red and slightly dark red it’s a hard to tell where is what.
The game is pretty easy and only has 5 stages and each stage has a mini boss (which are all the exact same in each stage) but also serves as checkpoint if you die, you also get unlimited continues.
The game also ends telling you to try normal mode which is why the game felt pretty easy and I don’t care if I unlock a secret final stage or whatever, what I played was enough and it’s just a basic shmup stuck on the Virtual Boy even though it just could’ve been another forgettable SNES shmup, but it’s funnier when you are the only shmup of a platform so I can’t blame them.
In this game’s case it’s just whatever, a fine and basic shooter with the gimmick of using the background and foreground to fight and avoid enemies, it’s nothing special and probably has been done before and after, and surely better, and most likely not in black and red.
The colour issue, again. The colours really hurts the game because even if the game has a 3D effect it’s still a bit hard to differentiate the background and foreground since when you only work with red and slightly dark red it’s a hard to tell where is what.
The game is pretty easy and only has 5 stages and each stage has a mini boss (which are all the exact same in each stage) but also serves as checkpoint if you die, you also get unlimited continues.
The game also ends telling you to try normal mode which is why the game felt pretty easy and I don’t care if I unlock a secret final stage or whatever, what I played was enough and it’s just a basic shmup stuck on the Virtual Boy even though it just could’ve been another forgettable SNES shmup, but it’s funnier when you are the only shmup of a platform so I can’t blame them.
I have no idea how baseball works I’m French.
I just think it’s funny how each team has really stereotypical names for each country with their anthem playing, I’m glad I was able to pick the French team because I think my players were as confused as I was playing this game.
I just think it’s funny how each team has really stereotypical names for each country with their anthem playing, I’m glad I was able to pick the French team because I think my players were as confused as I was playing this game.
1995
Add that one to the list of “Virtual Boy game impossible to play on emulation because the 3D somewhat matters”
Mario Tennis is cool on paper but terrible in practice, I tried playing this game without the 3D effect and it’s IMPOSSIBLE to know when to hit the ball, maybe it make more sense with the 3D on or maybe it’s just really fucking bad in general
I can’t say much about this game other than “It’s not Wario Land Virtual Boy but at least Mario is in it though Wario isn’t.”
Mario Tennis is cool on paper but terrible in practice, I tried playing this game without the 3D effect and it’s IMPOSSIBLE to know when to hit the ball, maybe it make more sense with the 3D on or maybe it’s just really fucking bad in general
I can’t say much about this game other than “It’s not Wario Land Virtual Boy but at least Mario is in it though Wario isn’t.”
1995
This is one of the coolest game I’ve ever seen, keyword: Seen.
I’ve been told plenty of times “Dude you should play StarFox” but I’m always like “No thanks dude I’m already full of dogshit today” but no more, today I’ve decided to play Red Alarm, and I’m not sure what type of animal an Alarm is.
I’m gonna be frank with you, I only finished one stage of this game I’m a fake Virtual Boyer I’m sorry, maybe if this game had infinite continues I would but I don’t feel like retrying it over and over just to add this to my work resume.
So from what I played it seems that we are a Spaceship and we kill a lot of people, everything is red so I’m guessing it’s a metaphor for genocides because who told you that Virtual boy games couldn’t be deep and have 3 hours long video essays about them. Gameplay wise it’s what you’d expect in a StarFox type game, the only difference is that you are stationary at all time and the game somewhat lets you roam free in each stages even though they are just straight corridors until you get to the dogshit boss room.
Dogshit boss rooms! Yeah that’s my least favourite part of the game it’s already hard to move around and the first boss keeps moving from side to side it’s a bitch to find him sometimes cause the field of rendering is small as fuck in this game, it’s like a ps1 fog but instead of fog it’s the void from Final Fantasy 5.
The red is an issue even though it’s part of the brand, red alarm like yeah ring the fucking bell there’s red EVERYWHERE, I can’t tell the difference from a fucking space rocket and a power up or a wall to an enemy but I think it really plays in the whole “The player is evil and committing a genocide” shtick like move over Spec ops we got a new deep game in town.
One last weird thing I noticed is that there’s a “NINTENDO VIRTUAL BOY” logo flashing all over the screen every 5 second as if the game was some shutterstock footage, I think they knew nobody would buy this console and everyone in future would pirate it for emulation, jokes on them nobody wants it.
I’ve been told plenty of times “Dude you should play StarFox” but I’m always like “No thanks dude I’m already full of dogshit today” but no more, today I’ve decided to play Red Alarm, and I’m not sure what type of animal an Alarm is.
I’m gonna be frank with you, I only finished one stage of this game I’m a fake Virtual Boyer I’m sorry, maybe if this game had infinite continues I would but I don’t feel like retrying it over and over just to add this to my work resume.
So from what I played it seems that we are a Spaceship and we kill a lot of people, everything is red so I’m guessing it’s a metaphor for genocides because who told you that Virtual boy games couldn’t be deep and have 3 hours long video essays about them. Gameplay wise it’s what you’d expect in a StarFox type game, the only difference is that you are stationary at all time and the game somewhat lets you roam free in each stages even though they are just straight corridors until you get to the dogshit boss room.
Dogshit boss rooms! Yeah that’s my least favourite part of the game it’s already hard to move around and the first boss keeps moving from side to side it’s a bitch to find him sometimes cause the field of rendering is small as fuck in this game, it’s like a ps1 fog but instead of fog it’s the void from Final Fantasy 5.
The red is an issue even though it’s part of the brand, red alarm like yeah ring the fucking bell there’s red EVERYWHERE, I can’t tell the difference from a fucking space rocket and a power up or a wall to an enemy but I think it really plays in the whole “The player is evil and committing a genocide” shtick like move over Spec ops we got a new deep game in town.
One last weird thing I noticed is that there’s a “NINTENDO VIRTUAL BOY” logo flashing all over the screen every 5 second as if the game was some shutterstock footage, I think they knew nobody would buy this console and everyone in future would pirate it for emulation, jokes on them nobody wants it.
1995
The virtual boy’s least offensive game.
It’s fuckin’ pinball for the 50th time on a Nintendo console what do you want me to say! I’m really sick of Pinball games it’s always the same damn thing and this one has no visual flair, even Space Cadet Pinball looks cooler!
But hey, if you want to play pinball and you only have a virtual boy on you that’ll do the trick, that scenario is more likely than you might think.
It’s fuckin’ pinball for the 50th time on a Nintendo console what do you want me to say! I’m really sick of Pinball games it’s always the same damn thing and this one has no visual flair, even Space Cadet Pinball looks cooler!
But hey, if you want to play pinball and you only have a virtual boy on you that’ll do the trick, that scenario is more likely than you might think.
1996
This game fucking sucks but at least the idea isn’t awful, I feel like someone could make that work and honestly there’s probably some games that plays like 3-D Tetris in the massive realm of Tetris clones. Thinking about it, Mahjong Cub3D is the first one that comes to mind but it’s not really the same thing, but a 3D Tetris could be executed the same way.
But what makes 3D Tetris so damn awful other than being on a Virtual Boy? The controls sucks, it feels really weird to see this cubic sphere that screams “Rotate me around with your joystick!” But then you realise it’s a virtual boy game and you don’t get to have one of these so you just press buttons a random, praying that it will somehow move the camera in your desired angle but even the devs knew it was dogshit so they let you see at all times the 5 floors of the cube on the side and it’s just so much more practical to use this to place blocks rather than the Star Fox-ass 3D.
The goal of the game is simple, try to fill 3 layers of blocks while letting enough space for a vertical 3x1 just like you would on Tetris 2D but this time it’s in 3D bitch, so it makes you wonder “Why am I dealing with bullshit like this when I can just play normal 2D Tetris” and I’m not sure either because Vtetris is literally just classic Tetris but on virtual boy so you might as well play that.
The game do offers some variety, slightly more than the average Tetris game from the 90s. You get a classic mode which is about obtaining a high score and it’s easy as hell, the only difficulty comes from not being bored.
The puzzle mode which gives you a set of tiles to drop and create some sort of small 3D structure and I’m sorry if I make this sounds cooler than it looks it’s just try over and over until you get the order right, in other words it’s bad.
And the last game mode is just the first one except you can’t place a block in the middle tile of the first layer, fun.
Yeah it’s just another gimmick fest for the Virtual Boy forcing the stupid 3D.
But what makes 3D Tetris so damn awful other than being on a Virtual Boy? The controls sucks, it feels really weird to see this cubic sphere that screams “Rotate me around with your joystick!” But then you realise it’s a virtual boy game and you don’t get to have one of these so you just press buttons a random, praying that it will somehow move the camera in your desired angle but even the devs knew it was dogshit so they let you see at all times the 5 floors of the cube on the side and it’s just so much more practical to use this to place blocks rather than the Star Fox-ass 3D.
The goal of the game is simple, try to fill 3 layers of blocks while letting enough space for a vertical 3x1 just like you would on Tetris 2D but this time it’s in 3D bitch, so it makes you wonder “Why am I dealing with bullshit like this when I can just play normal 2D Tetris” and I’m not sure either because Vtetris is literally just classic Tetris but on virtual boy so you might as well play that.
The game do offers some variety, slightly more than the average Tetris game from the 90s. You get a classic mode which is about obtaining a high score and it’s easy as hell, the only difficulty comes from not being bored.
The puzzle mode which gives you a set of tiles to drop and create some sort of small 3D structure and I’m sorry if I make this sounds cooler than it looks it’s just try over and over until you get the order right, in other words it’s bad.
And the last game mode is just the first one except you can’t place a block in the middle tile of the first layer, fun.
Yeah it’s just another gimmick fest for the Virtual Boy forcing the stupid 3D.
2004
Alright so let me look down the Ports rabbit hole real quick… ah, yes, it’s the enhanced port of the PS1 version but locked in easy mode with a worse soundtrack which itself is based on the wonderswan remake of the game, though this version stands out because it adds 4 new optional dungeons which then this port will get remade into an ugly artstyle for the PSP in the 20th anniversary edition of the game but that’s not a thing yet, we are in 2004.
Alright so yeah it’s Final Fantasy 1 again, as old as it is I still love it and man this version is really, REALLY easy with no option to make it harder in any ways.
So technically this is the ultimate version of the game unless you consider the ugly PSP remaster to be it since they both share the additional dungeons, but personally I think that none of these are the definitive versions. My go to version will always be the pixel remasters for just being superior in every way other than the extra content, so why wouldn’t I recommend this version? First of all it’s easy as piss, anyone would quickly get bored unless they are stupid like me, secondly the extra content only matters to fans of Final Fantasy since each of the 4 dungeon references FF 3,4,5,6 with its boss fights and I’m pretty sure some random guy who has never played any of the pixel games before would not care about fighting fucking Rubicante, and these dungeons are bad anyway, they only exist to add more stuff which is fair and kinda nice but the dungeon themselves are boring floors after boring floors with random gimmicks thrown in it from time to time but generally they are just boring, and they don’t really matter since by the time you’ll care about them you’ll be done with the main story and so you’ll be like level 60 or so and they are REALLY easy! I’ve heard online how hard Shiryu and Omega were and I clapped those bitches instantly it’s easy as piss! So yeah, these extra dungeons are just padding content to feed the fans, a nice touch that could be executed a lot better.
My verdict is that this version should be reserved as a second play-through but not the first, just binge the Pixel Remasters for your own sake.
Alright so yeah it’s Final Fantasy 1 again, as old as it is I still love it and man this version is really, REALLY easy with no option to make it harder in any ways.
So technically this is the ultimate version of the game unless you consider the ugly PSP remaster to be it since they both share the additional dungeons, but personally I think that none of these are the definitive versions. My go to version will always be the pixel remasters for just being superior in every way other than the extra content, so why wouldn’t I recommend this version? First of all it’s easy as piss, anyone would quickly get bored unless they are stupid like me, secondly the extra content only matters to fans of Final Fantasy since each of the 4 dungeon references FF 3,4,5,6 with its boss fights and I’m pretty sure some random guy who has never played any of the pixel games before would not care about fighting fucking Rubicante, and these dungeons are bad anyway, they only exist to add more stuff which is fair and kinda nice but the dungeon themselves are boring floors after boring floors with random gimmicks thrown in it from time to time but generally they are just boring, and they don’t really matter since by the time you’ll care about them you’ll be done with the main story and so you’ll be like level 60 or so and they are REALLY easy! I’ve heard online how hard Shiryu and Omega were and I clapped those bitches instantly it’s easy as piss! So yeah, these extra dungeons are just padding content to feed the fans, a nice touch that could be executed a lot better.
My verdict is that this version should be reserved as a second play-through but not the first, just binge the Pixel Remasters for your own sake.
1992
This is one of my least favorite typing games, that's right I'm mad.
This game does not really try to be a game, there's no gameplay involved with this game it just forces you to type for the sake of typing and that's no fun...
Also, Mario's voice is a lot less Mario and a lot closer to his voice from the Super Show which makes sense for 1992.
Overall a mediocre typing game with Mario shoehorned in.
This game does not really try to be a game, there's no gameplay involved with this game it just forces you to type for the sake of typing and that's no fun...
Also, Mario's voice is a lot less Mario and a lot closer to his voice from the Super Show which makes sense for 1992.
Overall a mediocre typing game with Mario shoehorned in.
2002
This game would be a 10/10 if my biased opinion mattered.
I fucking love Mario Sunshine, call it nostalgia I do not care I love this game to death! But since I'm supposed to be professional and have respectful opinions and take, I will acknowledge that this game is unfinished, rough, and unpolished all around, even if it breaks my heart in half.
Super Mario Sunshine is the shortest game in the franchise with only... 7 worlds, wow I swear this game feels like it has a lot more but excluding Corona Mountain and Delphino Island this game only has 7 worlds with 8 main starts each unlike 64's 6 main starts excluding the 100 coin bonus star.
Though more does not mean better at times since you'll notice a reoccurring pattern in how Sunshine does its missions, each world has an 8 red coin, a secret platforming stage, a shadow Mario stage, and one last bullshit gimmicky stage for its 8th mission if its not just a collect all 8 red coins.
This repetition does not help the linear structure that this game forces on the player, you need to finish stage 7 on each world to access the final stage compared to 64 where the stars matter compared to the stage themselves beaten, and this formula works so much better though I'm probably the billionth person you've heard that from.
But thinking about it, if only the 7th and 8th shines tend to be copy-pasted wouldn't that make the 6th first stages really fun? You're damn right they are! I think Mario Sunshine has some of the most varied missions per stage in any Mario game, with 64 mostly focusing on "Climb this again" or "Do this again, but with another step" Sunshine fully embraces the idea of making different missions, different ways to play the stage, I think Rico Harbor might be one of the greatest stages in any 3D platformer, it starts as a small explorable city where the game lets you fuck around a bit till you make your way to the boss, then it makes you play with bloopers which is nothing as we've seen before, then the game says "fuck it" and drop you in this jungle-gym of scaffolding and its just so much fun, I love doing tight jumps on small platforms, I love using FLUDD to its fullest, I fucking love playing Mario Sunshine and I think Mario Sunshine is like some big playground that just lets me fuck around for time immemorial.
But yes, it has the pachinko stage, yes it has the lilypad stage, yes it has the rocket balloon stage, yes it has the blue coins, yes the shines doesn't matter, yes this game has many flaws but I think that if a game with flaws is more fun than a flawless game, wouldn't that make it the better game since it keeps being fun even if while you are being backstabbed by the game countless of times? These are some foods for thought, I think Mario Sunshine will forever stay as the black sheep of the 3D franchise since people know that 3D world is good now and nobody knows that 3D land exists, so wear this with pride Sunshine, you may not have the premium feel that another game like Odyssey or 3D World has but no one else is like Mario Sunshine, nothing else will be like Mario Sunshine, it's a product of its time through and through and I love it for it.
I fucking love Mario Sunshine, call it nostalgia I do not care I love this game to death! But since I'm supposed to be professional and have respectful opinions and take, I will acknowledge that this game is unfinished, rough, and unpolished all around, even if it breaks my heart in half.
Super Mario Sunshine is the shortest game in the franchise with only... 7 worlds, wow I swear this game feels like it has a lot more but excluding Corona Mountain and Delphino Island this game only has 7 worlds with 8 main starts each unlike 64's 6 main starts excluding the 100 coin bonus star.
Though more does not mean better at times since you'll notice a reoccurring pattern in how Sunshine does its missions, each world has an 8 red coin, a secret platforming stage, a shadow Mario stage, and one last bullshit gimmicky stage for its 8th mission if its not just a collect all 8 red coins.
This repetition does not help the linear structure that this game forces on the player, you need to finish stage 7 on each world to access the final stage compared to 64 where the stars matter compared to the stage themselves beaten, and this formula works so much better though I'm probably the billionth person you've heard that from.
But thinking about it, if only the 7th and 8th shines tend to be copy-pasted wouldn't that make the 6th first stages really fun? You're damn right they are! I think Mario Sunshine has some of the most varied missions per stage in any Mario game, with 64 mostly focusing on "Climb this again" or "Do this again, but with another step" Sunshine fully embraces the idea of making different missions, different ways to play the stage, I think Rico Harbor might be one of the greatest stages in any 3D platformer, it starts as a small explorable city where the game lets you fuck around a bit till you make your way to the boss, then it makes you play with bloopers which is nothing as we've seen before, then the game says "fuck it" and drop you in this jungle-gym of scaffolding and its just so much fun, I love doing tight jumps on small platforms, I love using FLUDD to its fullest, I fucking love playing Mario Sunshine and I think Mario Sunshine is like some big playground that just lets me fuck around for time immemorial.
But yes, it has the pachinko stage, yes it has the lilypad stage, yes it has the rocket balloon stage, yes it has the blue coins, yes the shines doesn't matter, yes this game has many flaws but I think that if a game with flaws is more fun than a flawless game, wouldn't that make it the better game since it keeps being fun even if while you are being backstabbed by the game countless of times? These are some foods for thought, I think Mario Sunshine will forever stay as the black sheep of the 3D franchise since people know that 3D world is good now and nobody knows that 3D land exists, so wear this with pride Sunshine, you may not have the premium feel that another game like Odyssey or 3D World has but no one else is like Mario Sunshine, nothing else will be like Mario Sunshine, it's a product of its time through and through and I love it for it.