Mario and Luigi are heading in the Mushroom Kingdom to have a picnic with Princess Peach]

Bowser: (laughs)

Mario: Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh, Luigi?

Luigi: I hope she made lots of spaghetti!

Mario: Luigi, look! [finds a note and reads it] It's from Bowser. "Dear pesky plumbers, the koopalings and I have taken over the Mushroom Kingdom. The princess is now a permanent guest at one of my seven Koopa hotels. I dare you to find her if you can!" We gotta find the princess!

Luigi: (to player) And you gotta help us!

Mario: If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed instruction book.

First hotel
[The brothers arrive at the first hotel]

Mario: Looks kinda peaceful.

Luigi: Looks are deceiving when koopas are involved.

Hotel secret
[Mario stands under a pipe and ends up being sucked into another place and lands on his butt]

Mario: Uh-oh! Ow! Oof! (coughs) Where am I?

First hotel beaten/second hotel
[Morton jumps out and runs off while Mario and Luigi jump out while the tree sprouts fruit and see the princess on a branch]

Mario: Hey, princess!

[The branch breaks]

Peach: Oh!

[Peach falls and is caught by Roy who takes her to the next hotel]

Luigi: How are we gonna find the princess, with the power going out?

Mario: Maybe there's a switch in one of the rooms. Remind me to check.

[The brothers head towards the hotel]

Source of problem found
Mario: Oh-ho! Here's the problem, too many toasters. You know what they say, [holds up a bread container saying "Bowser's sourpuss bread"] all toasters... toast toast! [Unplugs the toasters that the power comes back on]

Second hotel beaten/ third hotel
[The Marios are outside The second hotel putting up a condemned sign]

Mario: That oughta do it.

[Peach is on a pipe]

Peach: Oh!

[The pipe sucks her in]

Mario: Where'd she go?

[Luigi point to a cave titled "Larry's cave hotel" with a subtitle "This mine is mine"]

Mario: Gee, it's kinda dark.

Luigi: You bring a light?

Mario: No.

Luigi: Well maybe, a koopa will lend us his, if we persuade him.

Hotel beaten/4th hotel
[Mario and Luigi make it out in time before the cave exploded]

Peach: Mario!

Mario: Get ready to catch her!

Luigi: She's not coming down!

Mario: She's up there.

[Luigi kicks a block with a exclamation point and a beanstalk grows out]

Mario: It's hard to see through those clouds. I hope we can get rid of them, get the hint?

Biggest fan
[Mario finds a button under "I'm your biggest fan"]

Mario: Oh-ha!

[Mario pushes the button and it turns on a fan that blows the clouds away]

5th hotel
[Mario and Luigi escape with the princess and turn on the fan]

Mario: Hey, you! Get off of my cloud!

[The fan blows the cloud hotel and Lemmy away and the princess vanishes]

Mario: It's been one of those days. Come on Luigi.

[The brothers arrive at the next hotel]

Mario: We ain't afraid of no koopa.

[The door disappears]

Luigi: Woah.

[The door reappears]

Mario: Hurry!

Ghost cologne
[Mario enters a bathroom]

Mario: Ah-ha! [grabs a bottle of ghost cologne] Maybe this will keep that lizard king from playing with the doors. [begins spraying himself]

New hotel
[Mario and Luigi make it out in time before the castle crumbles]

Mario: Spooky. Where's the princess?

Luigi: Over there! Look, Wendy's hotel!

Mario: Be careful. When you pinch Wendy's pennies, they pinch back.

Real coins
[Mario breaks a piggy bank with a hammer]

Mario: So, this is where Wendy's hid the real coins!

Final hotel
[Mario and Luigi escape the casino hotel]

Mario: That wasn't so hard, was it?

[The casino hotel disappears]

Peach: Boys!

[She vanishes and Bowser's laugh is heard]

Luigi: That's that creepy Bowser's laugh.

Mario: Look!

[The brothers arrive at the final hotel]

Mario: This is it, Luigi. Remember, where there's smoke,

Luigi: There's fire.

Ending
[Mario, Luigi and Peach make their escape]

Peach: Thanks to you two, I can safely rule the kingdom free from the terrible koopaling clan. [kisses Mario and Luigi] (to player) and my thanks to you too.

Mario, Luigi and Peach: You're the best player ever!

What a pile of absolute garbage.

I usually like playing shitty games you know to have a laugh with a couple of friends that sort of thing I may even like the game itself despite how shitty it is at times.

This is not one of those times I can't even begin to describe how fucked this is I mean it has everything
Shitty stiff unresponsive controls ,blurry shitty graphics (for 2006),shitty fucking level design , non existent AI , godawful "stealth" section that you complete by complete luck ,fucked maze levels that can get you softlocked easily and so much more garbage lets go level by level since this is mercifully really short (thank sweet merciful god for that)

Level 1: you chase your vampire wife through the streets and there's some ghouls and other jobber vampires nothing too offensive here except the god awful controls where you spam R1 and pray that your character actually fucking shoots. Also the vampire enemies either die from one bolt or decide to become invincible deities or your bolt straight up clips through em because they are attempting to fuse with you at all times.

Level 2: the godawful stealth section is here and it's a fucking masterpiece. Sometimes you can fuck enemies in the ass and not get noticed at all others they see you from 295890582058 miles away because fuck you. What happens if you get seen? oh just a 2 minute unskippable scene and then the game spits you out at the main menu screen that's all. you almost beat it and some vampire decides to have godly vision? fuck you back to menu after the cutscene.

Level 3 : You fight vampires , ghouls and shitty ass microscopic imps that attack you from god knows where oh btw EVERY single enemy in the game just bum rushes you in an attempt to fuse with your model thus doing damage everysingle one does this including bosses. Speaking of bosses you fight one at the end of a long gauntlet of enemies and he's just a reskin of the default vampire enemies you've been dealing with all this time Except he's piss easy and dies in 4-5 bolts.

Level 4: motherfucking level4 starts you out in prison with no weapons at all and you have to navigate a maze of jail cells and work with a ghost to find your shit but first he asks you to find a gold watch which is too fucking small and thrown in a small ass corner so you'll barely fucking see it. after that the ghost says lets go find a key that opens one of the 23098023948320 jail cells that happens to hold your weapons. you can find the key right away before doing all that shit but the game goes ape shit and you get softlocked because fuck you as always. you can also go to the second floor and into another area where the door is locked behind you. Now you are in a boss fight with your wife again and if you got here by accident before getting your weapons guess what? FUCK YOU GO BACK TO THE START AND DO ALL THIS SHIT AGAIN.

leve- You know what no fuck this garbage I typed enough if all that rambling doesn't convince you that this is a piece of shit to avoid at all costs then you are a masochist plane and simple. fuck this game.