aughhhh
BACKER
2023
This review contains spoilers
the entire vibe of this game feels super predatory. it's Pinocchio, but with the graceless, on-the-nose mall goth writing of American McGee's Alice. wrap it up in Yharnam's discarded skin, and you have Lies of P.
surely round8 studios is aware that Bloodborne fanatics are thirsty for even the tiniest scrap of content, how they're willing to work themselves into a frenzy over the most baseless rumor of a remaster or a sequel, yes? if this sounds like you, be very aware: if you're looking for more soulslike combat, sure, there's some worth here, but you won't find an ounce of subtlety, artistry, or narrative sophistication inside. or, to be more brief: it's fucking lame
the game's final scene features a character droning listlessly into a telephone that "they've found their next key.... DOROTHY!" followed by a jump cut to a girl in red shoes walking off of a train and clicking her heels together. cut to black, credits.
a lot has been said about the phrase "i can't" as a memetic device meant to describe the only communication style left to frappucino-sucking white ladies but, like, when my eyes rolled out of my head after viewing the game's ending and that was the only language left to me, i think i sympathize. i can't. i couldn't. fuck this.
surely round8 studios is aware that Bloodborne fanatics are thirsty for even the tiniest scrap of content, how they're willing to work themselves into a frenzy over the most baseless rumor of a remaster or a sequel, yes? if this sounds like you, be very aware: if you're looking for more soulslike combat, sure, there's some worth here, but you won't find an ounce of subtlety, artistry, or narrative sophistication inside. or, to be more brief: it's fucking lame
the game's final scene features a character droning listlessly into a telephone that "they've found their next key.... DOROTHY!" followed by a jump cut to a girl in red shoes walking off of a train and clicking her heels together. cut to black, credits.
a lot has been said about the phrase "i can't" as a memetic device meant to describe the only communication style left to frappucino-sucking white ladies but, like, when my eyes rolled out of my head after viewing the game's ending and that was the only language left to me, i think i sympathize. i can't. i couldn't. fuck this.
2023
2020
uuultra c is both a bit more abstract in its storytelling and more conscious of its stylistic conceits than hashihime was. nothing reaches the narrative highs of hashihime route 1, but the overall marriage of narrative and visuals ends up being more of an effective final product overall. the masked hero/kaiju genre is not one that you see getting the gay boy romance treatment very often so that in itself is pretty novel.
but like why does every y visual novel gotta lean so heavy into noncon? it's not as bad as hashihime was, but "i'm r*ping you to save your life" is still /not great/
but like why does every y visual novel gotta lean so heavy into noncon? it's not as bad as hashihime was, but "i'm r*ping you to save your life" is still /not great/
2024
discourse about microtransactions and performance aside:
this is japanese skyrim, with all of the associated positive and negative implications that statement brings along with it
hoping that whatever its dark arisen equivalent turns out to be will create a more complete, enjoyable version of itself.
this is japanese skyrim, with all of the associated positive and negative implications that statement brings along with it
hoping that whatever its dark arisen equivalent turns out to be will create a more complete, enjoyable version of itself.
2022
So, I've done research. This is what they do: number one, you can see a cultist here, and the other cultist is poo-pooing, and this cultist is eating the poo-poo all over the place. Tell me, when you have a chosen one crusading in the name of The One Who Waits, do you say accept eating poo-poo?
As followers of the Four Bishops, we want to ask The Lamb to explain to us, is this what they want to bring to the Lands of the Old Faith? As an animal right to eat the poo-poo of our children?
As followers of the Four Bishops, we want to ask The Lamb to explain to us, is this what they want to bring to the Lands of the Old Faith? As an animal right to eat the poo-poo of our children?
i grew up in hawaii so this is an obviously biased viewpoint that i'm speaking from, but exploring the painstakingly recreated waikiki stip all the way to ala moana mall and iolani palace was a big deal to someone who hasn't been able to visit home since 2009
you can also fight a giant squid with a swiffer mop and a surfboard, which is also very true to the hawaiian experience
you can also fight a giant squid with a swiffer mop and a surfboard, which is also very true to the hawaiian experience
2024
2009