If there was one way to describe Stellar Blade it would be HOT ASS. Why? Because the story sucks balls and the main character has a fat donk. It's a game that truly embodies both meanings of the term.

All jokes aside though, I was actually impressed with this game in many areas. The gameplay is straight up awesome, it's like I was playing Sekiro with all the benefits of controlling a hot android girl. Boss fights were nice aswell, I did beat them all first try besides the last two though. Visually it was stunning. In a market that's now oversaturated with poorly optimized garbage Stellar Blade was a breath of fresh air for sure. Also the soundtrack has to be one of my favorites, I will now be waiting for it come out on spotify and I only just finished waiting for the P3R OST. I have mixed feelings on the level design, Eidos 7 was really nice in particular however it started getting repetitive and for some reason the only two open world sections are both deserts, like what's up with that??? Anyway, now we get to objectively the best part of the game, the costumes. Seriously, I don't think I've had this much fun with a games cosmetics since Ghost of Tsushima. Almost every single outfit is an absolute banger and Eve's just so good looking that you can't help but want to make her look as good as possible. If you want to feel like a 6 year old girl dressing up her barbie doll, then Stellar Blade is the game for you.

Now that we've covered the good stuff, let's get into the part of the game that's kinda bad. The story. To put it simply, it's just a cheap ripoff of NieR. If you've played either NieR you will already know how the entire story unfolds. I pretty much predicted every single plot point except the very last one. Not to mention the characters, oh my god the characters are abysmal. Adam has to be one of my least favorite characters in recent memory. He spends the entire game being a boring dipshit and at the end just turns into an absolute cuck. Like yeah, Eve is boring, annoying, and the complete definition of a mary sue too but atleast she's hot. It really is a shame. Stellar Blade does so many things right it just makes me think Shift Up should've gone the DMC route and prioritized style over attempting substance.

All in all, I enjoyed my time with this game. I just wish it had a better story.