224 reviews liked by edward40handies


I am Soma. 100% map completion. 100% enemy drops (HOLY FUCK THIS PART TOOK AS LONG AS THE ACTUAL GAME FUCK YOU STOLAS AND DEMON LORD AND YOUR STUPID ASS DROP RATES). This shit is the second best metroidvania I've ever played, sorry Hollow Knight. The castle design wasn't quite as good as SotN in my opinion, but it was still really good and I enjoyed the movement and combat. Also, Alucard showing up in disguise with a stupid ass name like Genya Arikado saying corny shit like "For God to be good, evil is an absolute necessity in this world." and "In my mother's name, I send thanks to you." is the exact kind of shit I expect and wanted from him being in the game. I'm going to do Julius mode at some point in the future, but not right now. Sad that Julius will most likely never get his own game, because he's kinda sick. The soul system is fun to fuck around with too.

I am Mysterio. Why not Spider-Man? I played the game with my little sister and she said she was Spider-Man. Also, I've been in the same room as Spider-Man, so there's too much evidence against me. Anyway, big fun time, I fucked the final boss, also very funny and charming, I would die for Black Cat. I wish Venom was my boi. Also, last point, my copy has a misprint on the back saying it's 1-2 players so my sister and I spent the entire game waiting to play as Venom. Absolutely devestated figuring out it was single-player only.

I don't think I've ever hated a game more in my life. Also, all my friends deserve to die. I'm never trying this again. If anyone suggests it to me, I'll commit a felony.

This review contains spoilers

I AM THE SAVANT. FUCK THIS GAME AND IT'S FLASHING VISUAL DOO DOO (thanks, Jack). HOW DO YOU MAKE ART THIS AMAZING THEN MAKE YOUR GAME ONE OF THE MOST UNREADABLE MESSES OF ALL TIME. FUCK THIS SHIT AND THE INCONCISTENT INVINCIBILITY STRAT. FUCK ENDLESS MODE, BUT I BEAT THAT SHIT ANYWAY. 10 MINUTES. ALL ACHIEVEMENTS. FUCK YOU SAVANT YOU SHITSTER. HOLDING LEFT CLICK MY ASS, MY FINGER HURTS FROM THIS GAME. DUMPED PROBABLY 2 HOURS TRYING TO GET THAT STUPID ENDLESS MODE ACHIEVEMENT. I FUCKING HATE SNAKES AND I HATE THIS GAME. TOO EASY, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO THIS SHIT. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I AM. THIS IS A CHALLENGE. WHOEVER MADE THIS GAME SHOULD BURN IN HELL. THIS SHIT IS NOT A 10/10. DOO DOO ASS GAME. IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE ANYTHING SINCE THE CAMERA PANS AROUND AS YOU MOVE THE MOUSE ASS GARBAGE. JUST LET ME SEE THE WHOLE SCREEN.

I wish I was better at it. All my citizens just complain about traffic and my lack of hearses.

Fun as hell, great puzzles and very well made. The voice acting is great, but the story falls flat. Adds in new mechanics like the new laser cubes which are fucking rad as hell, a 10/10 addition.

HOWEVER, the ending was very bad. The final boss fight has no music to build tension and is incredibly boring. It also just ends, like a cut to black oh no you died, maybe I got a bad ending or something.

GIVE ME THE VANDAL GAME BROTHER

I love this game to death but oh my god i never want to touch Halo 2 Laso ever again

Definitely not as good as Battle for Bikini Bottom but it still holds up

Oddly enough 2006 was the year i discovered betrayal for the first time, I didn't think it would come in the form of a licensed kids game but i had to learn that lesson eventually I guess.