evy96
(Actually played via the Genesis port)
A perfectly competent Kung Fu clone for the Genesis that is worth playing if you can secure the rom (it's out there and not hard to find). It's super easy and has some decent voice samples but the text is unfortunately in Japanese so I had no idea what the hell was going on plot-wise. You have a few extra moves and a special meter to fill up, but that's about the only added wrinkle to the formula.
A perfectly competent Kung Fu clone for the Genesis that is worth playing if you can secure the rom (it's out there and not hard to find). It's super easy and has some decent voice samples but the text is unfortunately in Japanese so I had no idea what the hell was going on plot-wise. You have a few extra moves and a special meter to fill up, but that's about the only added wrinkle to the formula.
I was initially very excited to replay this. I remember being completely blown away by the presentation when I played a ps3 demo unit at our local Game Crazy when I was 11 years old and a couple years later I eventually made enough money to snag a ps3 slim and this game from a pawn shop (life was tough when I was a teenager but that's somewhat irrelevant I guess). And for the first half...this game held up to my memories of it.
Then you get to the ice planet and the game becomes the Webster dictionary definition of "unbalanced". Suddenly, every weapon but the alpha cannon becomes weak sauce and a single bullet from anything can drop health by 75%- even with the "best" armor in the game. The cragmites are the worst offenders and even when you know how to stun lock them...they still take an eternity to kill and ruin the pacing. Tachyon, the final boss, is equally as obnoxious and nigh impossible to kill unless you have the RYNO. I did it without just to say I've done it, but I don't think it's worth it for the average player. It's almost like this weird case of 90's US rental market philosophy applied to a game made in 2007 when rentals weren't nearly as big of a deal.
Worth playing? Maybe. But even the first game, which the fanbase seems to enjoy crapping on, has aged far more gracefully. Sure, you don't get as many hit points, but at least you'll never be one shotted outside of the obvious scenarios.
Then you get to the ice planet and the game becomes the Webster dictionary definition of "unbalanced". Suddenly, every weapon but the alpha cannon becomes weak sauce and a single bullet from anything can drop health by 75%- even with the "best" armor in the game. The cragmites are the worst offenders and even when you know how to stun lock them...they still take an eternity to kill and ruin the pacing. Tachyon, the final boss, is equally as obnoxious and nigh impossible to kill unless you have the RYNO. I did it without just to say I've done it, but I don't think it's worth it for the average player. It's almost like this weird case of 90's US rental market philosophy applied to a game made in 2007 when rentals weren't nearly as big of a deal.
Worth playing? Maybe. But even the first game, which the fanbase seems to enjoy crapping on, has aged far more gracefully. Sure, you don't get as many hit points, but at least you'll never be one shotted outside of the obvious scenarios.
Easily the best new game I've played this year. Fully commits to the N64/PS1 aesthetic and plays out like a cross between Crazy Taxi and Banjo Kazooie.
The catch here is that you don't have a traditional jump button despite being a platformer- momentum is key to reaching great heights (kind of like a certain vidya game about a blue hedgehog). Your cute little cab instead has what's called a "flip o' will", which is essentially a dash you can trigger at any time to pick up a burst of speed. Additionally, you can get twice the speed by accelerating right after the cab twirls during the flip o' will. The timing on this is perhaps a little too strict at first, but it's very satisfying when you manage to send the cab soaring into those hard-to-reach places by getting it right.
The only thing keeping it from being a perfect game (imho) are the timers in some stages. Some stages will see you transporting NPCs across the map Crazy-Taxi style to increase a constantly-ticking timer. The problem with this is that the game also wants you to explore and mess around with the physics in order to find gears (the primary macguffin) as well as golden bunnies (not essential for any% and often require tough stunts to obtain). It was kinda annoying having to stop what I was trying to do to go drive some people around and hunt down clocks so I wouldn't Time Out. It would have been better if these levels were their own thing as breaks from the semi-open world exploration.
Even with that, Yellow Taxi is an absolute blast once you get the hang of its controls. It's very much like this Penny's Big Breakaway in that it's not going to click instantly like most other platformers, but when it does, it's quite spectacular.
The catch here is that you don't have a traditional jump button despite being a platformer- momentum is key to reaching great heights (kind of like a certain vidya game about a blue hedgehog). Your cute little cab instead has what's called a "flip o' will", which is essentially a dash you can trigger at any time to pick up a burst of speed. Additionally, you can get twice the speed by accelerating right after the cab twirls during the flip o' will. The timing on this is perhaps a little too strict at first, but it's very satisfying when you manage to send the cab soaring into those hard-to-reach places by getting it right.
The only thing keeping it from being a perfect game (imho) are the timers in some stages. Some stages will see you transporting NPCs across the map Crazy-Taxi style to increase a constantly-ticking timer. The problem with this is that the game also wants you to explore and mess around with the physics in order to find gears (the primary macguffin) as well as golden bunnies (not essential for any% and often require tough stunts to obtain). It was kinda annoying having to stop what I was trying to do to go drive some people around and hunt down clocks so I wouldn't Time Out. It would have been better if these levels were their own thing as breaks from the semi-open world exploration.
Even with that, Yellow Taxi is an absolute blast once you get the hang of its controls. It's very much like this Penny's Big Breakaway in that it's not going to click instantly like most other platformers, but when it does, it's quite spectacular.
1996
I decided to replay the original version of 3D Blast after experiencing the Director's Cut (which I was pleasantly surprised by) and yeah- it didn't take me long to remember why I didn't care for the game before that version existed. It's sluggish and slippery as hell. And then there's the hit detection. My god, it's worse here than what I remembered especially with boss fights.
It's actually amazing just how much the aforementioned Director's Cut improves this middling experience. Do yourself a favor and just play that instead if you really want to get into this footnote in the Sonic timeline. The controls are far better, Sonic actually picks up momentum fairly quick compared to the 1996 original and the collision detection is a million times better. There is absolutely no reason to go back to this version in 2024 unless you just want to say you've played it.
It's actually amazing just how much the aforementioned Director's Cut improves this middling experience. Do yourself a favor and just play that instead if you really want to get into this footnote in the Sonic timeline. The controls are far better, Sonic actually picks up momentum fairly quick compared to the 1996 original and the collision detection is a million times better. There is absolutely no reason to go back to this version in 2024 unless you just want to say you've played it.
To preface, I played the absolute snot out of the classic sonic trilogy to the point where I could run through all of them back to back with all the emeralds and without dying at one point. 3D Blast is the one I never really spent much time with until this morning after loading up this version on my everdrive.
I walked away enjoying the game more than I expected. Although it's been years since I've played the vanilla game, I have to say that this one handles well (for the most part) factoring in the perspective. I did find a few stages to be a bit confusing to navigate and I think panic puppet (last zone) is kind of a shit show, but other than that, this was a fun little ride. Can't top the 2D games, but it's still a solid diversion.
I walked away enjoying the game more than I expected. Although it's been years since I've played the vanilla game, I have to say that this one handles well (for the most part) factoring in the perspective. I did find a few stages to be a bit confusing to navigate and I think panic puppet (last zone) is kind of a shit show, but other than that, this was a fun little ride. Can't top the 2D games, but it's still a solid diversion.
1987
A very basic platformer that borrows the same jumping mechanics from games like Kid Niki and Hammerin' Harry (as in you can control your direction in the air but not the height) but is nowhere near as good as either game, unfortunately. It has a handful of linear and non linear levels, and both are lined with what I'd consider trollish design. There are pulleys that launch you straight into spikes without warning, rocks that will drop on your head (keep in mind this is a one-hit kill game unless you've got the cape) on ladders with no time to escape among others. Even so, it's not impossible to get through. I think even the developers knew the level design was obnoxious because you're alloted a whopping seven continues and only lose your gold when you inevitably start burning through continues.
At the very least, it doesn't outstay its welcome and the main character looks like Eric Cartman cosplaying as some fantasy character. That's worth at least half a point.
Protips: hit down to get off those aforementioned pulleys- it's the only way to get off of them without jumping into the spikes in a particular stage where you have to zip around on them. Don't waste your gold on anything in the shops but capes, needles (to "repair" the cape and let you keep it for two hits) and the power of the sun. The other items are basically fucking useless and I'm pretty sure you can't even beat the game with the other projectile types.
At the very least, it doesn't outstay its welcome and the main character looks like Eric Cartman cosplaying as some fantasy character. That's worth at least half a point.
Protips: hit down to get off those aforementioned pulleys- it's the only way to get off of them without jumping into the spikes in a particular stage where you have to zip around on them. Don't waste your gold on anything in the shops but capes, needles (to "repair" the cape and let you keep it for two hits) and the power of the sun. The other items are basically fucking useless and I'm pretty sure you can't even beat the game with the other projectile types.
2016
While I prefer Brutal Doom to the vanilla Doom 1, I can't say I prefer Brutal Doom 64 to the N64 original. I appreciate that there is a bigger bestiary this time around (including a scrapped two-headed hound) and how some window dressings have been enhanced to bring out the atmosphere even more, but it fumbles a bit on the balance towards the end. No Escape in particular becomes a slog due to the revenant and spider mastermind spam on top of two cyberdemons that will no doubt empty out your BFG/Unmaker ammo. It also seems that the Demon Keys are entirely useless here since I got to the end with them and still had to deal with incessantly spawning fodder (as it would be if you don't pick them up in the original).
It's interesting and does do its part in enhancing the atmosphere, but Brutal Doom 64 is by no means the definitive way to play.
It's interesting and does do its part in enhancing the atmosphere, but Brutal Doom 64 is by no means the definitive way to play.
2020
This will always be my second favorite Doom. It has the best atmosphere out of the classic series- the beautiful skyboxes and stages with lightning effects being real show stoppers for me. Then there's the unsettling OST which literally features crying babies and distorted groans to set the mood- you really get the sense that you're not wanted in this world. Then there's the demon keys/Unmaker. Going out of your way to complete the secret levels not only aids in upgrading this new weapon, but it'll also net you a trio of keys to seal off some monster gates at the very end and (ultimately) give you an easier time with the final boss. This was a really nice addition to reward exploration even further.
Map design is mostly great with more emphasis on puzzle solving, but the levels never get as massive or convoluted as the worst of Doom II's map. There are a few stinkers and instances of clunky first person platforming (with no jump button, because it's Doom), but I found myself enjoying these stages far more than anything in II.
If you can forgive the handful of overly cryptic puzzles (such as the yellow key in Final Outpost- there's no defending it) then Doom 64 will prove to be a good time.
Map design is mostly great with more emphasis on puzzle solving, but the levels never get as massive or convoluted as the worst of Doom II's map. There are a few stinkers and instances of clunky first person platforming (with no jump button, because it's Doom), but I found myself enjoying these stages far more than anything in II.
If you can forgive the handful of overly cryptic puzzles (such as the yellow key in Final Outpost- there's no defending it) then Doom 64 will prove to be a good time.
I played this a lot around the same time I was discovering shows like Beavis and Butthead as a kid, so that probably had something to do with the amount of enjoyment 9 year old me got out of it. As it stands, it's a decent platformer based around the gross-out humor of the 90's, but it still has the trappings of western game design. Wonky hit boxes, large (sometimes confusing) stages and of course secrets tucked behind phony walls. It's not as good as Earthworm Jim, but it's serviceable if you can look past those qualities.
2011
Like Cruis'n Blast, this cabinet is really loud and over the top. The announcer is as 'Murican as you can get, but I got a laugh out of how stereotypical he sounds. The game itself is basically a mix between Twisted Metal and your standard arcade racer, with plenty of powerups ranging from a mounted machine gun to oversized tires to flatten your rivals with.
The primary gimmick is jerking your wheel to slam into the guy next to you, as well as a gnarly skull-headed crank for you to pull to trigger power-ups. The more aggressive you are, the more your "Jerk-O-Meter" goes up. It's delightfully edgy in an early 2000's sense.
Dirty Drivin' isn't the most deep or engaging combat vehicle/racer out there, but much like Blast, it's a nice little slice of comfort food worth checking out if you can find a cabinet. Although I couldn't see a direct port faring well on account of its simplicity, I definitely wouldn't mind seeing another arcade racer marrying combat with traditional racing like this. It would just need more content and a little more depth.
The primary gimmick is jerking your wheel to slam into the guy next to you, as well as a gnarly skull-headed crank for you to pull to trigger power-ups. The more aggressive you are, the more your "Jerk-O-Meter" goes up. It's delightfully edgy in an early 2000's sense.
Dirty Drivin' isn't the most deep or engaging combat vehicle/racer out there, but much like Blast, it's a nice little slice of comfort food worth checking out if you can find a cabinet. Although I couldn't see a direct port faring well on account of its simplicity, I definitely wouldn't mind seeing another arcade racer marrying combat with traditional racing like this. It would just need more content and a little more depth.
2021
Among the very last physical games I bought from Best Buy before they began to phase out physical media along with PacMan World:Re Pac. This is a suped up port of the arcade game, and to its credit, it does add quite a bit more content. There are far more tracks and far more "vehicles" including a whole ass unicorn and tank. While it's still enjoyable on account of just how ridiculous and arcadey it is, something definitely gets lost on its trip to the living room. Part of the fun of this game, to me, was the cabinet itself. It's very loud, over the top and flashy- not necessarily something you can really emulate on a couch. The main disappointment, however, is the lack of online multiplayer. This kind of game feels made for that, but at least there's still couch co-op present.
2017
The best way to describe it is arcade racing comfort food. The cabinet itself is loud and the back seat is going to vibrate as you tear through the handful of tracks available. Despite being so contemporary, it has that 90's feel. The announcer will shout "WOAH DINOSAUR" as one pops its head out in one track, and you'll literally be turning cows into steak patties in another. There's also a few ridiculous "bonus cars", including a Triceratops.
As for the game itself, it's rather basic and not difficult to place well in. The only thing you need to worry about other than steering are the nitro boosts, but I do think the game is a bit scripted in the sense that you are always going to be going toe to toe with either the person sitting next to you or the AI. This really isn't a "skill" based game, but it's still a lot of fun.
If you're ever in Illinois, they have a set of Cruis'n Blast cabs at a new startup bar/arcade called Game Over in Alton. At the time of writing, all of their machines are set up for free play but you ought to do your part and buy some booze or food (wings and fried mushrooms are to die for) to support it.
As for the game itself, it's rather basic and not difficult to place well in. The only thing you need to worry about other than steering are the nitro boosts, but I do think the game is a bit scripted in the sense that you are always going to be going toe to toe with either the person sitting next to you or the AI. This really isn't a "skill" based game, but it's still a lot of fun.
If you're ever in Illinois, they have a set of Cruis'n Blast cabs at a new startup bar/arcade called Game Over in Alton. At the time of writing, all of their machines are set up for free play but you ought to do your part and buy some booze or food (wings and fried mushrooms are to die for) to support it.
1990
Dear god- why on earth aren't they using the Genesis box art here?
A cute and relatively easy hack-and-slash that plays out like a linear Wonder Boy with the anime factor cranked up just a bit. I used to play this a lot in high school before catching the bus for some reason. Maybe because it's one of those games that takes under an hour. I just wish it had more depth- especially on the bosses. From what I remember, most of them were simply a matter of making sure you had the sword upgraded via the coins you picked up in the stages and mashing attack to stun-lock them into oblivion.
A cute and relatively easy hack-and-slash that plays out like a linear Wonder Boy with the anime factor cranked up just a bit. I used to play this a lot in high school before catching the bus for some reason. Maybe because it's one of those games that takes under an hour. I just wish it had more depth- especially on the bosses. From what I remember, most of them were simply a matter of making sure you had the sword upgraded via the coins you picked up in the stages and mashing attack to stun-lock them into oblivion.
(Game is actually out on PC)
A short but sweet belt scroller in the vein of Altered Beast or Splatterhouse. Despite being based on a game from 1990 (which I've never played), it's also not overly difficult. Worth it if you like this breed of beat 'em up and have a couple hours to kill.
A short but sweet belt scroller in the vein of Altered Beast or Splatterhouse. Despite being based on a game from 1990 (which I've never played), it's also not overly difficult. Worth it if you like this breed of beat 'em up and have a couple hours to kill.
2024
This developer never seems to miss no matter what breed of shm'up they decide to tackle next, and Missile Dancer 2 is no exception. I'm not the biggest fan of rail shooters like Space Harrier, but I still found myself enjoying this one immensely.
The game mimmicks Sega's classic super scaler arcade games and plays similarly to the aforementioned space harrier, after burner and super thunder blade. That being said, it's somewhat more forgiving due to having three hit points and waves that weren't meant to munch quarters. I feel like anyone with a passing interest in the genre could pick this up and play it without being frustrated too much, at least on normal. (There is of course hard and expert, so it's not like the people who live for these kinds of games are necessarily left out)
The only real issue with this game is the same issue I've had with the older quarter munchers in this genre- visibility. Even after multiple playthroughs, I still had moments where I'm not exactly sure what hit me due to the perspective. There are also white puffs of smoke that cloud the screen whenever you use your missiles (which you'll be using quite a bit) and they just so happen to be the same color as the regular bullets coming from enemy crafts. One other person actually pointed this out on steam, but the dev's response claimed that adding transparency would "change the design" of the game. Weird.
I do hope that issue gets resolved at some point, but as it stands, this is still another great game that provides an arcade experience sans the steep learning curve. If you enjoyed the dev's other games (raging Blasters, terraflame to name a few) you should enjoy this as well.
The game mimmicks Sega's classic super scaler arcade games and plays similarly to the aforementioned space harrier, after burner and super thunder blade. That being said, it's somewhat more forgiving due to having three hit points and waves that weren't meant to munch quarters. I feel like anyone with a passing interest in the genre could pick this up and play it without being frustrated too much, at least on normal. (There is of course hard and expert, so it's not like the people who live for these kinds of games are necessarily left out)
The only real issue with this game is the same issue I've had with the older quarter munchers in this genre- visibility. Even after multiple playthroughs, I still had moments where I'm not exactly sure what hit me due to the perspective. There are also white puffs of smoke that cloud the screen whenever you use your missiles (which you'll be using quite a bit) and they just so happen to be the same color as the regular bullets coming from enemy crafts. One other person actually pointed this out on steam, but the dev's response claimed that adding transparency would "change the design" of the game. Weird.
I do hope that issue gets resolved at some point, but as it stands, this is still another great game that provides an arcade experience sans the steep learning curve. If you enjoyed the dev's other games (raging Blasters, terraflame to name a few) you should enjoy this as well.