162 Reviews liked by gremlintv


There is barely a game here. It's just a long tech demo. Every gaming trope that you can think of is here; The "puzzles" (for lack of a better word) are dumb and just there to pad the length of the game. Everything in this title is a slog. Everything takes a loooong time to do, and it feels like a complete disregard of player's time (even more so when the game is so short, that everything needs to be padded so it doesn't end in 2 hours). It also has a big identity crisis. Is not a walking simulator, as there isn't really anything to explore other than 4k textures; It's neither an action game, as combat is a glorified quick time event (you can finish every combat encounter the game just pressing A and X, not even need directions).

There is a complete lack of player agency here, so much that it really doesn't fit into the medium that they chose. Why make an interactive medium when interaction is left to the bare minimum? There really isn't much to "do", just walk forward, uninspired puzzly section, scripted combat sequence, repeat.

Story-wise it's all over the place. First Senua was focused and knew what it wanted to tell, but this one doesn't tell anything interesting that we didn't heard before, just lots of exposition and same old tiresome tropes.

This are just fireworks, something pretty to watch, but pretty boring and uninspired overall.

they call it hellblade 2 because thats how many fans it has

The same psychosis shtick to commodify mental illness but the rocks are shinier now in UE5 <3

Release this games sophisticated momentum driven movement system from the perfidious and arcane limitations of a controller I'm begging you

House of the Dead portbegging > Persona portbegging

Coughing baby NieR but the combat sure is fun.

Hey guys! I just logged Fightcade as completed 5 s- SHUT UP! This is a PLATFORM. Not a VIDEO GAME. Stop acting like you play video games by logging shit like this. Nobody cares if you played Chrome Dino and Smash Bros. Fighter Pass 3. Go play some real shit like Modern Warfare then come talk to me.

My dad turns off my internet at 5:00 on the dot every day because he caught me talking to a 34 year old man on Roblox so this little guy keeps me company in the dead of night. Love this fun little guy

Bro released the game a second time 😭😭😭 still ain’t no point to the game, all you do is jump on shit 😭😭😭

Confidant who is hyperfocused on burning ants: Alright Joker... it's a deal then... I'll be your ant burning friend from here on out
*flashback animation*
My sexy hag prosecutor: You must have had some kind of insect combustion expert on your team.. who was it!! TALK!!!!
Me, popping a stiffy so hard I'm about to pass out: i think i hauve mental shutdown syndrome


Great game, ultimately still strictly worse than the other 2 modern Personas if you care about anything else than presentation. Concept is great - who doesn't love silly Lupin heists? The story immediately drills into the core of Planet slop at the start of the Medjed arc and doesn't recover for more than brief moments of JRPG cheese (I like the gooey cheese though). All the Social Links (that's what they're called man) are pretty good, but none are really great unless it's like the two that I missed. The soundtrack? It's great. The UI? Okay this might get assassins sent after me but to me it's very busy for a UI and I think it's a bit overrated in terms of being the be all end all of design for that reason. It is beautiful though.

I really like the additions to the combat system, despite it all feeling a bit overtuned - I died like three times in my entire playthrough and 2 of them were due to not having high enough damage and 1 of them was me nuking myself on a reflect. The baton passing, extra elements and Social Link buffs really help One More stand out as Not Just Press Turn But Worse (it still is worse, but you know, it helps, and it's fun).

Honestly after P3 the whole time management system and Social Links kinda feels tacked on to the other Persona games. Like it was meant for that game in particular and makes total sense with the theme whereas here they are just... systems that surround a JRPG. If that makes any sense. If I'm crazy you can shoot me in the head.

I stopped at the third semester. "Why"? I shouldn't have to justify that. Why didn't you? You should explain yourself. The story is over. If you continued to play for 30 hours you don't care about story do you? You don't give a shit about storytelling at all. You just care about characters and seeing them interact in little set pieces. You're a poser. You just want to play with dolls in your head because the cast functions as premade OCs for your fanfiction when you can't write your own. You're having the Phantom Thieves step in for real relationships in your life. You're pathetic. Sorry.. sorry about that. I don't know what came over me. Forgive me.

Nitpicky Rant Minor Spoiler Asshole Lightning Round:
- I think JRPG creators have realized 60% of people only play the first act and that's why a lot of modern JRPGs are frontloaded nosedive halfway in. Much research to be done here.
- Morgana has decided 30% of my nights simply can't be used for anything
- Please do not give me insanely overpowered DLC items for no reason you crazy bastards
- Why are we still pretending Persona protagonists can be self insert? Please just name him next time. He's stuck in this weird limbo where he's an unvoiced blank slate but also randomly will have lines. Give it up Atlus.
- Could not fuck Akechi Goro
- Morgana cat form? Cute. Cuddly. What a little guy. Love him. Morgana Metaverse form? I'm going to kick him over a building.
- Ban all localization from saying "kek"
- Having the optional dungeon turn mandatory in the final act is insane, it didn't affect me but for those it did I am so sorry
- The in media res flashback structure contributes absolutely nothing other than to do a "Ohhh I actually forgot crucial details" plot twist, it's basically just there to be there
- "The Councillor" Tarot? Really? Come on.
- The final dungeons(s) are basically completely disconnected from the theming of the rest of the game which makes them seem really out of nowhere and lame
- Like 3-4 instances of Japanese being spoken but no subs anywhere. "Just play in English" Haha, no, obviously. Don't be fucking stupid
- Demon negotiation is actually just SMT But Lame
- We have yet to find a good way to hide elemental weaknesses and then show them later and this is no exception

I've jokingly said that "To the Joker, Drakengard 1 is just an ordinary musou" at least twice before playing it and then when I did, I ended up unironically finding the gameplay more fun than any sincere musou I've tried so I guess I powerscale above the Joker now.

Stuck with this slack-jawed pawn with bug eyes. There's literal stink lines trailing off of him and he keeps rubbing blood from his diseased gums on the dungeon walls.

For some reason the game runs at 20fps when he's around, please advise.

If you dislike this game you just got filtered. Sorry to say! OWNED!

This is one of those games that I really want to like. I’ve tried nearly a dozen times to get it to “click” and it never does.

I always bounce off of it and I’ve never entirely understand why.

Sure, the platforming is precision machined but maybe the fact that the game is too forgiving with its checkpoints leads to a lack of stakes or tension for someone like me that isn’t going to go for every strawberry.

I also think the levels might be too long and that the game forces you to spend too much time in individual biomes.

The story’s presentation, at least early on, may also be a bit too sappy and not engaging.

Idk. I know people really love this game and what I’ve played of it is fine. But it’s lacking something crucial.

Good OST, though.

answers hard hitting questions like, "what if u break a block and sometimes the thing inside kills u no matter what"