Dead Rising? More Like Fetch Rising cuz for fuck's sake why did replace the escorts with so many fetch quests. Go here and destroy these things, go here then here then here then there then here and get me these items. Oh hope you don't have any cool combo weapons you stumbled on because you need to get more items than you have inventory because you haven't upgraded your inventory so might have to do two trips.

But hey that's all okay, don't worry about the weapons because you know that whole thing about getting super sick rare weapons in the wild and going HOLY SHIT, nah just get them from the locker that's barely limited.

Speaking of vehicles, squishing zombies feels so fucking good. Shame that the map is literally four chunks connected by strings and have a lot of exploding nonsense to make you go boom in the road that's super easy to hit. Oh, but you could take a nice lil shortcut here to avoid it all, but you have to get rid of your car and walk because there's a bunch of blockage and could get the vehicle stuck in a region of the map. But hey, just use that locker for cars too bro.

I don't know why the locker annoys me as much as it does when I could easily avoid it, but I feel the existence of it alone devalues the "OH SHIT THAT THING" factor. The skill tree's existence is just generic and would just rather have a straight forward progression. The game being filled with your garbage collectables that do nothing excluding the blueprints is nothing but to pad the game with busy work with the excuse that it gives you experience points.

Very few psychos, and the ones that are there I just don't care for. Found everything very boring and generic, I don't know, I played a bit of it and it was one of those moments where I was playing the game and went "What the fuck am I doing? Am I even having fun?" and the answer was no so I just stopped.

It's crazy that it took this long for someone other than the Clownporate Overlords from the Triple A underworld to get around to basically aping 1:1 the entire concept of the Call of Booty zombies mode. It's kinda of a shame that it isn't as potent of a hit that I would like it to be.

Up front, if you're coming in for that stuff and just plan on doing rounds, screw everything else, come in and have a ton of fun. It does a serviceable to decent job at scratching that itch if you want a different flavor.

I'm coming at this from the main story goals the game has. First impressions were like "Oh, these are cute, I sure hope these diversify". Those are the first impressions of a fool. All the goals in the game, and I do mean every single one involved a variation of the following:

- Stand in a stupidly small circle and kill enemies to fill a bar. (Some short, some that took rounds to fill. Also some which are in really awkward, claustrophobic positions)

- Kill enemies in a dumb stupid circle.

- Escort something to somewhere. (Mini-escort missions in this type of game are a choice.)

- Do something different for once... To then stand in a circle.

- Find object, charge object by standing in circle.

- Find object and shoot at it or put it somewhere.

There's so many of these per single map that they feel mind-numbingly repetitive even for a style of game that's already lobotomy inducing repetitive.

The mini-boss style enemies are just kinda an annoyance more than a drastic change in gameplay. They come around and you can just make quick work of them with your knife. Which is the opposite problem of something like Tall of Cutie Zombies, in this game, with the right upgrades even some of the bosses will disintegrate with your knife.

The bosses themselves could be super cool if they weren't just the same mini-bosses, but Super Ultra Arcade Remix Hyper Edition EX versions of them. And most of them didn't really have enough mechanics going on which is probably why they're infested with a bunch of the normal goons you fight throughout the maps and for some of them that vast majority is compromised of the special goons that could send you crying straight to heaven in a blink of an eye.

What super sucks for that is that those strong gooners can also be absurd damage sponges even with a incredibly upgraded weapon. Which results every single boss fight having you do dumb little circles around the arena and putting your two index fingers together and going "🥺👉👈 pwease doon't hwit me" to the special gooners as you keep shooting at the boss until they're eventually dead.

The perks themselves are just variations of a lot of the stuff you see in Roll of Doobie. Elixir of Life is Juggernog, Stallion Juice is Stamin-Up, etc. But the main difference is that you start off with extremely butchered versions of these perks. And I mean butchered. So for example Elixir of Life starts off at 33% as opposed to Juggernog's more than double. The thing is that they don't stay at that, they have a way where you can actually go and upgrade them through this progression system where you basically get three different variations of skill points and the higher the upgrade tier, the different skill point variation you use.

This to me is a really shallow way to put progression into the game. Where it'd just be infinitely better to have the perks and that's it. Especially when you already have like five? different fake battle passes you can grind for fun if you wanted to go that route for progression and that unlocks a bunch of lil customization things.

The maps were too same-y and a lot of the in-map locations really blended together for me. I ended going around in circles over and over trying to find the single dumb thing that I needed to get. Definitely needed a lot more areas that were like "OH THAT PLACE." but its mostly tunnels and hallways that lead to big circles.

I don't know, it's neat that there's someone out there trying this formula, but other than a neat lil variation that's still fun enough to playthrough, it's kinda eh. If you're a dumb Wall of Nookie Zombies diehard like myself then sure, but if you're more of someone that's somewhat interested or has minimal experience with Paul of Booty, just get Blops the Third on steam with Zambambo Chronicles and rock the hell out of the steam workshop.