Never thought I'd be sitting on backloggd, writing about a random shovelware game on Steam that I payed 50 cents for but I mean hey, there's a first for everything.
When I was talked into playing this game, and actually looked at screenshots for it I expected shitty semi open unity (god speed) asset cat collectathon or something of that ilk, NOT the worst auto runner in the world. Cool hats though. Unlike normal Steam games that are pumped out and sold for 50 cents every week this one is ACTUALLY a scam. The second to last level is FILLED with mostly illegible text in the backdrop asking you not to pirate games, and to help him do something. I'd go back and try to read it as well as my body could let me, but damn I already uninstalled it. And the final level? Physically impossible to beat, according to the developer, a "game breaking, unfixable bug". What is the game breaking unfixable bug you ask? A gap between 2 platforms that is too big to jump. I mean hey props to this guy(? I literally don't know since no one has ever seen the credits assuming there even are any) I can't blame the hustle, probably made like 10 bucks off of some poor kids. Probably not kids though, considering the google server room PC that you'll need to properly run any of these greenlit indie games on Steam. I'd give this game half a star but I mean hey it's butt ugly martians fidelity cats in it that's pretty cool, instead I will give it nothing because it sucked my soul out of my face for 3 hours I think I genuinely said nothing with another person here with me for the entire 3 hours I was lost in this maze. If someone knows how to hack games hmu I'll pay you in Pokémon cards
So why exactly did I bother to sit down and think about this game any further considering what it is? Idk here's a picture of my cat I think he's pretty cool. Hats off to all my brave soldiers that willingly sacrificed their 50 cents for this game or otherwise. Unless it was porn, I don't perceive you.
When I was talked into playing this game, and actually looked at screenshots for it I expected shitty semi open unity (god speed) asset cat collectathon or something of that ilk, NOT the worst auto runner in the world. Cool hats though. Unlike normal Steam games that are pumped out and sold for 50 cents every week this one is ACTUALLY a scam. The second to last level is FILLED with mostly illegible text in the backdrop asking you not to pirate games, and to help him do something. I'd go back and try to read it as well as my body could let me, but damn I already uninstalled it. And the final level? Physically impossible to beat, according to the developer, a "game breaking, unfixable bug". What is the game breaking unfixable bug you ask? A gap between 2 platforms that is too big to jump. I mean hey props to this guy(? I literally don't know since no one has ever seen the credits assuming there even are any) I can't blame the hustle, probably made like 10 bucks off of some poor kids. Probably not kids though, considering the google server room PC that you'll need to properly run any of these greenlit indie games on Steam. I'd give this game half a star but I mean hey it's butt ugly martians fidelity cats in it that's pretty cool, instead I will give it nothing because it sucked my soul out of my face for 3 hours I think I genuinely said nothing with another person here with me for the entire 3 hours I was lost in this maze. If someone knows how to hack games hmu I'll pay you in Pokémon cards
So why exactly did I bother to sit down and think about this game any further considering what it is? Idk here's a picture of my cat I think he's pretty cool. Hats off to all my brave soldiers that willingly sacrificed their 50 cents for this game or otherwise. Unless it was porn, I don't perceive you.
29 Comments
@Weatherby Don't worry, they look worse when you're actually playing
your cat should get their own game
I agree with appreciations, your cat is a much better star than this one.
Porn games make go wheezy with laughter, they are the funniest things on Steam to me. They are always incredibly so incredibly stupid its a sure fire way to be enthralled, lol, or be in severe mental distress from not being able to comprehend.
After reading this and seeing screenshots, I'm convinced that this game is, in fact, not real and we all are just having a collective hallucination. Is the only explanation I can find for this existing.
Literally the clearest you can possibly see it, if I could figure out how to hack free cam into these random games I'd crack the code on this one but something tells me it's not worth my time
Also forgot to mention the hallway that said "In the beginning there was one word" in that same level, dude thought he was cooking something
Also forgot to mention the hallway that said "In the beginning there was one word" in that same level, dude thought he was cooking something
Hilds was a real trooper, she was dead set on completing the game till I convinced her it was impossible. The final level was maybe the most threatening thing I've ever seen in a game.
A Dexter game would be amazing, but I'm not sure what the objective would be... lazy Detter
A Dexter game would be amazing, but I'm not sure what the objective would be... lazy Detter
@CURS forgot to tag you in the comment oopsie
@BlazingWaters @appreciations thank you for the cat love he's a very rude man so he won't appreciate the sentiment but know that I do
@BlazingWaters @appreciations thank you for the cat love he's a very rude man so he won't appreciate the sentiment but know that I do
@Snigglegros porn games can be VERY funny, I know someone that can agree with you on that, but steam is a bit harder than like the Switch to find funny ones because steam just has all those puzzle games and anti semitic ones that are funny maybe once, the sakura games give me a giggle though
That's a treat I'll leave for them to find without my help!
yeah like "Furry Hitler Sex" is like funny that it exists and is allowed on steam. I'm not engage with that level of attention baiting beyond that. The sliding puzzle games always make me laugh whenever I look at the steam page and see that is indeed another slide puzzle game. I played one that was some fucked up version of Bejeweled that sucked and didnt make sense, or Crypto Girls 18*: Sex coin which tries to be some epic story about the personification of 5 crypto currencies (they are all girls) who go to live in a location for 2 weeks so they can receive any wish they want. This somehow dismantles the world economy???? There is some deep personal talk at some point. Idk it was probably the least understandable story I've ever seen. They also all Sway in the most ungodly way possible while talking and it unnerves me to no end.
sorry for the sex coin rant
@Snigglegros oh I agree with the first part, the first time I saw it I was fucking riveted but my 'tism brain can only be humored by the first 37 h*tler bdsm games or whatever they're doing now
Also this game looks fucking hysterical it's not on steam anymore this is so sad was actually so curious
Also this game looks fucking hysterical it's not on steam anymore this is so sad was actually so curious
NSFW WANRING. NUDITY/SEX/ALL THAT
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1770550/Crypto_Girls_18__SEXCoin/
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1770550/Crypto_Girls_18__SEXCoin/
my friend bought it for my birthday I think and then I had them refund it ionce I was done. $7 is kind of an insane price
Oh my god I know the bitcoin sex game, I've seen like a thousand gifs of it but I never knew what it was from.
My favorites are the switch store ones cause the thought of some 10 year old stumbling upon any of the 5,000 Sakura games always gives me a chuckle. Also games straight up named Hentai World releasing right next to pokemon and Mario.... why do they let that happen lol
My favorites are the switch store ones cause the thought of some 10 year old stumbling upon any of the 5,000 Sakura games always gives me a chuckle. Also games straight up named Hentai World releasing right next to pokemon and Mario.... why do they let that happen lol
Oh my dumbass wasn't logged into steam that cover on backloggd really did not prepare me for this I didn't realize anime cryptobros were such a lucrative market
Also you got an experience of a lifetime for someone else's 7 dollars, their loss for your enlightenment
Adding crypto sex girls to the list sorry. It's either that or dmmd my man
i have a lot in common with these kids :c
i remember when i thought the cloud jumps at the end of the first level were impossible & i never made it through the second lvl, like desert themed or whatever
and i was getting SO bummed playing, i just wanted to play fun cat game. and @CURS was breezing through it!!!!
i’m sorry u had to go through it but it does seem like you were very very good at the game
i remember when i thought the cloud jumps at the end of the first level were impossible & i never made it through the second lvl, like desert themed or whatever
and i was getting SO bummed playing, i just wanted to play fun cat game. and @CURS was breezing through it!!!!
i’m sorry u had to go through it but it does seem like you were very very good at the game
@BEAUTIFULBRUTE Don't be sorry!! I do wish my expectations for what it was were met though cause I wouldn't have had to face the cold hard whiplash, I'd have had a lot more fun I was genuinely kind of excited to play funny cat game hehe.. Petz Catz 2 remains the funny go to cat game
that's a good cat :')
Weatherby
1 year ago