i know mdickie games are supposed to be fucked up but damn you literally cannot do anything in this game lol. its very funny to see my character Porchswing Bennett (5 years old, 3'11, 200 lb) punch one guy and then immediately get tossed around by eighty other dudes in wrestler outfits while a thousand tutorial dialog boxes pop up and phones ring and sirens blare and the camera starts floating off screen until my guy dies but none of this requires me to actually press the keyboard, and because of that i got kind of bored and stopped playing very quickly. theres a certain balance between jankiness and actual engagement that old school just baaarely doesnt maintain; i think if they update the game a few times itll probably be more fun though

Imagine you live on wrestle planet, where the only form of entertainment is wrestling, and everyone settles their grievances by grappling. You're at a new school, struggling to fit in, and have to try and learn math in a classroom of deranged freaks, while the teacher is on the floor in an armbar, he's on fire and screaming, so you decide to escape the lesson by digging tunnels to every part of the city, including a moving bus, but then your principal chokeslams you for playing truant and hospitalises you by tossing you in front of a moving train. And it's only your first day. Genius.