Vendor-man Patsu just opened up his Ramen shop. He runs into Kamikaze Jin, fellow lover of ramen and buys his first bowl. He hates your shit ramen and tells you to step up your game or get the fuck out of town. Travel the cozy town playing your charumera to attract new customers. These lab-rats are here to taste your nuclear ramen so pay attention to their complains and tweak your recipes accordingly. At the end of each day you'll be able to edit your dishes before heading out on a new day. That's the general loop, it's pretty fun experimenting with recipes, but I'm just throwin' shit at the wall to see what works, because I can't cook. I hope the entire town doesn't end up with food poisoning.

Note: haven't done the second campaign yet, maybe that'll change my views, IDK

Hotline Miami is a game about violence. "Do you like hurting other people?" the game regularly asks you. It's meant to be a commentary on game violence itself, and separating the actions of the avatar from the player commanding them to do said actions. Issue is, I didn't enjoy hurting other people. Not because of the hyperviolence or intense pixelated gore or whatever, I just found the whole thing stressful rather than fun.

The game's premise is pretty simple. You're a nameless guy who keeps getting phone calls to go into random buildings and kill everyone there. The main method of achieving this is by going in guns blazing and dying. You die a lot here and then respawn instantly. And by dying, you eventually figure out the perfect route to kill everyone and move on.

Only issue is, the game is clearly trying to reward skill in planning and getting better through repetition, but a lot of issues arise in the execution.

Enemy AI is a main issue here, in that it seems completely random how competent it'll be in a given run. One run I'll walk into a room, shoot a guy, and the guy in that room doesn't react at all, the next run I shoot a guy and half the map seems to be alerted and ready to turn me into a fine red mist, and another run I'll walk into a room holding a knife, and the shotgun guy in the room will instantly rotate 180 degrees and blow my brains out. As well as the small chance everyone has to tank an attack, meaning I'll think I'm done only for the second guy I killed to actually be alive and now my face is splattered on the ceiling in a way that's probably just inconvenient for the cleaning staff, you prick.

It's about getting the perfect run after practicing a lot, only all these variables weren't leaving me satisfied at the end of a level and instead made me think I was just lucky this time around. Doesn't help that some levels spawn random weapons around that change each run. So sometimes it'll be the effective 6 blast shotgun, the less effective but okay 2 blast one, or the AR which felt more unwieldy and inaccurate. I was in the A- to B- range for a lot of the game, so maybe I was doing things right? I genuinely could not tell you. I won't lie in saying there's no fun in walking in and doing a good run, but those moments are fleeting amongst the mounting frustrations.

But everything else about the game does admittedly go hard. The story of whose calling you as well as what's real amongst the 80's aesthetic is really intriguing, as well as what kept me in the game. The downtime as you go to random locations in an infinite void around you is also well done, adding to the mystique. And I will praise the ending of each level having you manually leave the building and let you walk past the carnage you just caused. It's an effective way of driving the main game's theme home, I really like it.

So overall, I can't say don't play Hotline Miami. It's cheap, goes on sale for like a couple euro pretty regularly, and I seem to be one the few people who don't like it. It's good ideas and vibes hiding some really annoying gameplay.

I played this before, back at the height of its controversy, and going back to it now it's impossible to imagine a game this mundane and small lead to...well, Gamergate and all the harassment and bullshit and awfulness that came with it. Just completely bonkers that somebody played a small, personal visual novel about depression and went "FEMINISTS MUST DIE!!!!" I don't really wanna examine all that, others have done it better, but it feels impossible to review this game without at least mentioning it.

Depression Quest succeeds at what it aims to do, which is how I typically judge a game. The writing gets a little hokey at times, but it's rarely BAD and is, at its best, really good. And it was fun coming back to it now, where I'm in a leagues better place mentally than I was when I initially played it, and seeing how my answers and choices changed. Being able to trace my own story, with finding the guts to see a therapist and growing brave enough to truly depend on my support system, and see it mirrored in the protagonist felt sort of warm and nostalgic, and it inspired in me a lot of affection and tenderness for the younger me who couldn't imagine ever feeling this good.

It's nothing mind-blowing now, and I've played better text-based games. But when it came out, it really and truly was something different. It's easy to brush that off now, when this sort of game — and games revolving around mental illness more broadly — are more commonplace, but it really did do something new. Something with — as we'd all see in the months and years that followed — real and genuine risks. I really enjoyed coming back to it.

played this with my bf but i had to stop b/c of how unforgiving some of the enemies that attack you in this game, like i stopped being scared + was more upset + mad b/c i have to redo a lvl 3x over just to cross a bridge

- the way i was excited to play this game when the trailer came out + 1 hour later i was so over it
-i cant even remember the plot b/c i was so mad at the game mechanics omg
-full of jumpscares, typical scary yokai monsters but you play as a 16 year old girl trying to find her sister/ friend ??
-i love my own sister but aint no way im trying to search for her alone in the middle of the night omg