Sometimes I foolishly forget the perfect video game has been by my side for years.

This game lets you live the ultimate far left fantasy of pissing on a donut then feeding it to a cop causing them to vomit.

They recently added an update where you can flip people off. Flipped off a cop and got arrested lol

Phenomenal simulator of trying to walk outside in Bremerton Washington.

This game has cost me $771.31 on DLC and multiple DS4 controllers it chews through like a rabid dog please for the love of god put it down before I spend even more money on it.

Armored Core 4 is a very interesting title. Starting with this iteration the franchise took a radical departure from the slower more methodical gameplay of the previous entries in favor of a much faster pace and more streamlined mechanics. In some instances it works incredibly well and in others it feels like a case of one step forward two steps back.

One thing that really upsets me about this one in particular is it removed the mail and pre-mission briefs which added a lot of flavor to the setting and agendas the various factions at play had. Instead of being this lone wolf mercenary taking orders from the highest bidder you're now sticking with one side for what's essentially one long military campaign during a world war caused by various corporations. The premise is extremely cool but the downside of this is almost every mission involves you taking down a specific mech or landmark with nothing interesting really added towards it. While past games also suffered from a lack of mission variety the background info given really helped made them memorible. A good example of this is in one of the early missions of Armored Core 3 you're hired to go take out some group of laborers going on strike, the setup you got is way overkill for the situation at hand and when you enter the factory the workers there start panicking over your appearance knowing they WILL die now. The real kicker is after the mission is over you get an email from the group that hired you saying they're aware their measures were extreme but they were forced by what's essentially a totalitarian AI that gave them the order to hire you for it.

Now one thing AC4 absolutely excels at is upping the intensity as the game goes on. While the first 2/3s are a bit of a drag the final batch of missions are freaking phenomenal with you doing stuff like rushing through a battalion of hundreds of helicopters, boats, and mechs to go take down one big fortress. By the end of the game your mission to stop this war results in the world being festered with contamination, set ablaze, and fighting the one companion you had after they had been blackmailed to kill you.

If you don't mind some rather baffling design decisions that set the game back from its full potential AC4 is a rather short but sweet game worth a go and thankfully these days it can be emulated rather well from start to finish. This run I did was done on a steam deck with only a few hickups and one crash which honestly ain't too bad considering the framerate is miles above the game on real hardware.




100/10 soundtrack go listen to Thinker if you don't believe me.

Crazy hybrid of Strider, Guyver, and a western. Besides Treasure's output on the Genesis Tanzer has quite possibly some of the tightest controls for a game on the console and trust me you'll need them with how brutal the difficulty gets. If there is one flaw Tanzer has it's the lives system. Whereas most games have a traditional three life or continue system Tanzer instead opts for giving the player one life with the ability to purchase a checkpoint any time when they reach the ingame shop between stages. While this may seem advantageous at first the real flaw comes with the price of upgrades and the checkpoints, the majority of the time you'll only be able to afford one or the other meaning it's either going back at least one whole stage when you die or not get any fun new powerups to toy with. If you're able to put up with an incredibly punishing difficulty Tanzer is absolutely one of the best homebrew games on the console as of this review and I'm greatly anticipating the next game by Mikael Tillander.

1989

The box art can't save this game's abysmal frame rate.

RoTT is an often overlooked shooter that's absolutely worth playing and this new port makes it more accessible than ever. Yes it has some rough spots but it's brimming with personality. The whole game consists of ex-id employees making the most unhinged shooter they could think of doing the craziest map designs they weren't allowed to during their time working on Wolf 3D and Doom. Yeah some maps are kind of a slog but gosh dang do I admire their approach of just doing whatever the hell they thought would be fun without any consideration to the player.

MAIN SYSTEM ENGAGING COMBAT MODE

Man what is there can I not say about this game? Armored Core was a franchise that lasted from 1997-2013 serving as From Software's major cash cow until Souls gained mainstream popularity. The franchise has a heavy emphasis on customization so extensive it can be intimidating for new players.

The original Armored Core and every entry up to Armored Core 2 Another Age takes place in a futuristic setting where most of humanity is wiped out and what remains is an anarcho capitalist hellhole where the major corporations are all committing all sorts of atrocities on each other along with the general public to be the big dog. The player takes the role as a Raven who is basically a gun for hire these corporations will contact and it's up to you to pick which missions fit your agenda whether it be your morals, objective difficulty, or monetary gain. At the end of the day you're going to be doing some dirty deeds whether it be killing a bunch of homeless people squatting in an area a company wants to expand in, unleashing a biological weapon to screw over another company, or killing someone who went under a horrific experimental procedure to turn them into a murder machine only to go rogue. Starting with the very first game Armored Core establishes a bleak setting where the player is not the hero of the story but rather another factor in its ongoing misery.

What makes Armored Core really stand out for me is how customization is integrated into its overall missions structure. Each mission will give you a briefing that details a general idea of what you're in for and it's up to you to tune up your AC as needed. The majority of the game is essentially this puzzle of tackling a mission, changing things as you feel need be and either successfully accomplishing the mission or having to troubleshoot where your AC is lacking and do some touch ups. This might sound tedious but From made the right call in two areas. Missions are generally short very rarely surpassing the five minute mark but more importantly every weapon or part you purchase in the store can be resold at the same exact price you paid for so there is absolutely no punishment for experimentation.

Another aspect of Armored Core I absolutely adore is the control. Initially the controls will seem very clunky and unintuitive but over time you eventually get the hang of them and my god does it feel incredible piloting a hulking behemoth who is also somehow flying around in circles dodging missiles and shooting rival ACs up in the sky with your plasma cannon.

Also gosh dang is the music FANTASTIC. AC1 in particular is a great combination of electric and atmospheric tracks and I frequently find myself coming back to them often while I'm not playing. My personal favorite from AC1 are Synoptic Dope, Shape Memory Alloys, Grip, and Air.

I'm trying to keep this review as concise as possible so I'll finish now with urging you to finally try out this series. It may be forgotten now by gamers but there's a pretty dang good reason we got 18 games in a 16 year period and it's absolutely worth diving into the first entry to get a glimpse why.

A pretty fun pre-Virtua Cop lightgun era shooter heavily inspired by 70s and 80s American action movies. Has a great soundtrack as expected from Konami at the time and some fun cheesy lines from the goons you shoot.

One of the coolest pinball games ever. Ball physics are surprisingly fantastic for a game made in 91 and the overall aesthetic oozes atmosphere. As someone who does play real pinball all the time it gets over the hurdle of "Why would I play this over an actual table" by taking full advantage of the video game medium by giving you enemies on screen and bosses to destroy. Good luck getting to that final boss though cause you're gonna be playing for close to six hours straight to hit that score requirement.

This is quite possibly one of the worst visual novels you could ever play but I'd be lying if I said it also wasn't absolutely hilarious to read through it much like one would do with a bad creepypasta. No joke the developer couldn't even be bothered to program RNG to simulate rolling dice, instead if you read the manual there's a link given to a dice roll generator which you're supposed to use then pick one of multiple options ingame based off the roll you got.

One of my favorite games ever made and one of the first lightgun games I have been able to beat on a single credit. While the cop theme may be bland the game's stellar use of colors and music helps give it a fantastic presentation that stays strong today while also having that masterful Sega 90s arcade game design. It's easy to overlook today but there's a reason this wound up being the basic design blueprint of every lightgun game after it and arguably one of the most influential games of all time.

2020

If pinkos made more stuff like this then maybe I'd be on board with communism.