fucking peak

what else is there to say

(i logged the wrong one prior)

ive been on a semi childhood binge lately, so i figured fuck it yknow

hopped into one of my old favorites, "natural disaster survival" with a player look i last updated at least 6 years ago. felt weird. this game mode was a lot more boring than i remembered. it also stole my money, as the game specific items i bought all those years ago were gone. i guess i grew up cuz this shit mid af lol

although i cant really speak for the entire game if i only played one of billion modes ig.

oh well

the game of DOGSHIT

i saw a friend post this in a discord and decided it would be a fun 2 hour joke before eventually refunding it. it looked like a shitty asset flip and i was correct.

the game took forever to install despite being only 2 gigs, and then proceeded to crash and freeze every time i tried to play to the point i couldnt even get into the "game" portion

truly the game of sisyphus, fuck this imma go p-rank p-2 finally

note, this is simply a compilation of my hitman 1-3 reviews with an added summary at the top

hitman world of assassination was on my high priority list. id say earned its worth being there, every map has at least some value and fun to it, whether that be replay, roleplay, or spectacle. mission stories are a fun linear way to go about the games but the games really do not hold your hand, you can do whatever you want in them, however you want. i found my immersion breaking a few times throughout my playthrough, though, which upset me because i had assumed it would play more like an immersive sim than it actually does. looking past that to what it does offer is an absolute monolith of quality that simplifies the confusing trilogy releases. however the dlc maps in hitman 2 are not included which is still a bit scummy, perhaps indicative of the scumminess of the previous releases of hitman 1 and 2. if i had to rank the games maps, i'd go h2>h3>h1. definitely give these games a shot, i found the trilogy on sale for 20 bucks which was an absolute steal.

hitman 1 review:

played through World of Assassination

hitman's been something ive been intrigued by for quite a while now, so much so World of Assassination is on my high priority . it sounded really cool, like that game i imagined as a kid but never existed(except it did just not to this scale lol), and as a mobile gamer for most of my childhood. kinda like metal gear in a way, except being an assassin instead of a super spy. this comparison between metal gear comes up again later. ive only played the first one, though, from 1987.

so the gameplay is honestly... it's a bit disappointing honestly. i had this image built up of a super sim where you can do literally anything and itll go. like for instance i imagined i could talk to a service person and ask him to come to my room, then pummel him to death and take his clothes and impersonate him. talking to npcs- wait, for the record i know i could talk to people if i do the "canon" route of completing shit but i didnt wanna do that cuz id then be compelled to do that and i didnt want that when i could choose a morbillion other ways. okay, with that cleared up, continuing. talking to npcs is a feature i figured they'd have the way the game is advertised as a morbillion ways to do shit. like i could get super close with my target and assimilate into his personal room attendant through dialogue alone, and then murder him with no one in sight. that would have been really cool.

so idk, i feel like a lot is missing from the "sim" aspect. if some dude walks into a room and you walk out wearing his clothes(esp if the dude got different hair) and he doesnt come back out, i feel like thge whole map should go into lockdown, if they were seen entering that room. its like... the game just kinda... forgets, like i killed some dudes and left em in the open, they bring out the body bag and all that, but afterwards the deed is forgotten.

if i were running a compound with very important people closeby and found a body, you know what id do? id line up every single person and ask for an alibi! id lock the entire compound down, too. imagine how cool it would be if you had to give an alibi based on your disguise, or you could try and avoid this lineup thingy and if you get found thereafter you're arrested immediately if you dont have an even better alibi. idk, im just spitballing but the world/ simulation leaves a lot to be desired. i i figured it would be much more dynamic. id assume more things get added in h2 and h3, though.

another thing is that most missions give you a silenced pistol and if you're quick enough you can kill the targets without any "fun stuff". i know replayability and sandbox is the name of the game but usually i dont roll that way, so i just do what i see and sometimes the quickest option is a silent shot from da bushes

what is here though is fantastic. it's such a rush sneaking around locations across the globe, disguising yourself, tracking target's patterns and picking off their inner circle before finally you're alone in a room with them, commit the deed, and then exit like nothing happened. it's really fucking badass to exit a scene when everyon'es like "oh my god wtf wtf", especially if you're inches away from being spotted. i killed that jordan cross dude with a pistol in the music booth and left the scene, was really fucking awesome. oh and killing that dude who was there for heart transplant after i knocked out a surgeon in plain daylight, stole his clothes and went around, acting as lead surgeon and then draining his blood out with the machine. oh and that one time where i fucking destroyed that super virus and then afterwards the head scientist lady came down without guards and i fucking murdered her in the hallway and shoved her in a locker, and proceeded to kill the main dude after watching him golf for 30 minutes straight. just a blast to play through.

the story is very reminiscent of metal gear 1987, in the way that it takes itself incredibly seriously but the plot sounds like something a kid would make up when needing to make a super cool assassin story with their toys and stuff. its not the deepest, or the most substantial but its pretty cool and charming in the same way mg1's story was. im excited to see where it goes in h2.


in a closing note that i kept thinking about over my time with this game, i was talking to my mom recently about games and stuff, the kinda "schedule" i have for myself, like playing p2 or xenoblade at such and such time, and she responded with something that really stuck with me. she was like "oh i thought gaming was all about spontaneity, that seems like a chore." and idk man i see her point. i promised id play mg2 before the week ends but i have no desire honestly after i started the hitman trilogy , often feels like people are stalking my playing tab when in reality no one pays attention to it that closely, and if i forced myself to play it thats kinda is a chore. kinda easy to lose track of the fact its a hobby especially on this site, even further when you write reviews. often found myself trying to think of a review well playing and thats just not something i really want. i should just play what i want in da moment.

overall i really liked this game and was glad i got the trilogy for 20 bucks. ill definitely be checking h2 out asap but idk if the burnout will strike before i can finish h3. i might bump to a 9 idk



hitman 2 review:

played through World of Assassination

the common consensus for the hitman trilogy ive seen is that hitman 2 has the best maps of the 3. while i cannot speak of h3 just yet, they are certainly more fleshed out than h1. idk how but they feel both more linear and more open at the same time.

with h1 there was kinda a linear progression with disguises that stopped as soon as you got the highest ranked guard disguise. in h2 the maps feel plenty more open and i felt myself needing to swap out plenty more disguises throughout. there's also plenty of ways to go about it. take the mumbai targets for instance. all 3 are in different corners of the map, require different disguises to get to, and also in one instance the disguise doesnt work unless youre far enough distance away, since the crows are on the lookout for intruders. finding the maelstrom through clues gained from the other targets as well as infiltrating the crows base was an awesome feat. and it really feels designed for skulking, so many boxes to dump bodies in, tons of distractions too. it was a really cool area. using all that info to find the maelstrom, following him and finally after all your hard work silently disposing of him in a back alley... peak gaming .and then taking out vanya shah i have an even cooler story of trespassing for like 30 minutes, making my way to the back of her warehouse, and taking out a guard and placing him in convenient dumping box, and then climbing up the pipes to trespass again trying to find a higher tier guard and having to sneak around and find a perfect time to strike, and when the deed is done, shimmy down the pipe and listen to the chaos unfold right above me. sneaking into vanya shah's car and then shooting her and walking out the back to take down the final target of the mission, only to engage with that level of depth again. i could go on and on with the other maps, like miami, whittleton creek, columbia, but you get the idea by now.

the peak gaming comes to a head with the final mission of base h2, the ark society. the atmosphere, the setting alone make it peak. an assassin sneaking into a secret society's base on a remote island with stormy seas all around? sign me the hell up. this is doubly true with the stakes in the story making it incredibly satisfying to escort the constant out of the island after neatly taking care of the washington twins. man, walking the constant down to the boat was so fucking cool and tense. backing up, the washington twins were also cool targets to take out. i found myself eliminating the guards they had and becoming their guards and following them around for another cycle before finally getting them in the bushes where no one could see... at least for one. the other i threw a soda can at her head and a brick at the guard's head and then snapped her neck in a room off to the side. stalking your prey is insanely fun in the game.


i guess what im trying to get at here is that is the simulation aspect feels more fully realized through map design alone. it makes you feel like you are The Hitman instead of having a get out of jail free card with a silent pistol. i mean, maybe it was more self imposed but i found myself ditching the use of lethal weapons for subduing instead. it felt cooler to have that extra bit of tension, esp if i couldnt find a place to dump the body at.

the story is the same as the first game, devoid of much substance and depth, but still charming and with a "cool" factor. i do have to compliment the performances of the cast. The Constant was especially great, perfect voice for the "evil mastermind" archetype, and the rest of the cast gave solid performances. unfortunately, the presentation took a hit with the cutscenes being nothing more than glorified slideshows. in many cases i couldnt tell what was going on in the scenes because they were so dark and there was no movement lol. however there's a reason for this decline in presentation due to the company splitting off from square enix, so i forgive it. i also seem to be the only one who cares about the story in these games at all, but even for me they arent the main attraction.


there's also the drama with the way these games were released. looks awful but luckily i didnt have to worry about that model 8 years late to the party heheh

overall a definite upgrade from the first and addressed almost all of my complaints from the first review. i was a dumbass and didnt get the dlc maps at the same time as purchasing WoA but luckily they went on sale today lol. 27 dollars for every map in the game is a complete steal, im so glad i picked this game up. review for the dlc will be up in the next few days likely, who even knows. new york and haven island, here i come!

hitman 2: new york review:


played through World of Assassination

probably top 3 maps so far, i think i prefer mumbai and ark society more due to the scale of those, but id be damned if i didnt have a good time here. it had more of that "different disguises for different places" thing i mentioned and scaling the tower, and then disconnecting the wifi box and knockin out the IT guy, taking his disguise and getting rid of the lady's security one by one before finally taking her out. i went with the getting the drives route, though i'll probably try and infiltrate the vault if i get the itch.

im still a bit bummed there's not dialogue options outside mission stories. or the fact that there's not more emphasis on people noticing their coworkers going missing, if you do it silently there is zero risk, even if you don't hide the body as long as you get out of there there is no risk to you. it just takes me out of the experience when the bank lady saw the IT person, talked to him, and then someone who looks completely different(me) does his job for him. like, at the very least it should raise suspicion and i would need an excuse for where the guy went, yknow? there's a lot of small immersion breaks in these games, and that's still my biggest gripe.


hitman 2: haven island review:

played through World of Assassination

no slouch of a map either, tho i should mention how scummy it was to not add these maps to base world of assassination, like every other map was it's just bad practice that i had to pay for these. i mean, yes, it was worth 7 dollars and id probably have no qualms paying the 10 dollars that it normally costs, but it just seems really shitty that only 2 maps are relegated to dlc.

anyway, good map. also had a blast planning my routes here and taking people out. patience is the name of the game here, i love that slow burn approach to these levels, i can get lost for like an hour+ and i always know ill be in for a good time with each. getting the old dude and stealing the usb stick and then using that to shove the girl into the ocean, and then taking care of the gymbro too. all fun stuff.

im really not ready for my time with these games to end in just 1 more game's worth of content, ive gotten so completely adidcted to WoA over the past week. it's gonna be sad when i complete it. ofc there's always replays, but that's not the same as your first run of a map. idk how im considering doing replays lol since i almost never do that.

i hope the h3 maps finish off with a bang!

hitman 3 review:

played through World of Assassination

here we are, 20 days later....

my final words on the hitman 2 dlc were about how fast i flew through the games so far and id miss it when i finished. so much for that!!!!

as soon as i started hitman 3, i got hit with a huge wave of burnout and to this day im still unsure why it happened. i kept avoiding it, jumping from web games to pepsiman to balatro, geometry dash, metal gear 2, etc etc. it just wasnt clicking. eventually a few days ago after finishing mg2 i decided i needed it off the damn playing tab. after all, i loved the first 2 games, so if i just got over this hump id be done in no time...

well, happy to say that is how it played out. i think the main reason for the burnout was finding the damn case file in dartmoor. that one was pissing me off an insane amount. but after i powered through, theres a lot of bangers. hell, even in dartmoor i had a blast tresspassing and turning the game into more of a stealth game. anyway, berlin and chongqing are the standouts here. berlin was entirely different than what i had expected, and the vibe was unmatched, pure adrenaline finding all those agents, and then in chongqing after infiltrating the ICA base, hearing agents react to what you did there... literally chefs kiss part of that map.

i also have to say, mission stories kinda grew on me here, at least that was the case for chongqing, killing that hush dude in the chair was so much more awesome following the linear path. also also, i adored the final level, which i know is a hot take in the fanbase. given how im not replaying these maps any time soon, i found it to be an awesome conclusion, thinking youre in some deep underground lab only for you to break open the door... and youre on a huge train. given my stealth focused approach in levels prior, i kinda liked the way this leaned into that type of approach as well. sure it might not give replay value but frankly i dont care, the spectacle was fantastic and more than made up for it.

as for the story, ehhh its still the same type of quality. not that deep or substantial but still fun, tho its kinda a bit like ghostrunner 2 where it became a bit hard to follow at the end. diana turns on him suddenly she doesnt turn on him for some reason. the plot in these games has always moved at a breakneck pace but here it's even faster. idk maybe its silly i care for the story so much but yeah it was just a bit confusing near the end. and i found myself caring less and less as i beat each level. the cast performances were great just like the other 2 games. excited for a hitman 4. and also excited for that james bond game. the studio has definitely earned my trust and respect and im glad i got these games off my backlog.

also quick note about freelancer, i played just one map. its fine if i want to scratch that itch i guess. sorry if this review's a bit shorter, found it hard to talk about this game for some reason.


~~~

played through World of Assassination

here we are, 20 days later....

my final words on the hitman 2 dlc were about how fast i flew through the games so far and id miss it when i finished. so much for that!!!!

as soon as i started hitman 3, i got hit with a huge wave of burnout and to this day im still unsure why it happened. i kept avoiding it, jumping from web games to pepsiman to balatro, geometry dash, metal gear 2, etc etc. it just wasnt clicking. eventually a few days ago after finishing mg2 i decided i needed it off the damn playing tab. after all, i loved the first 2 games, so if i just got over this hump id be done in no time...

well, happy to say that is how it played out. i think the main reason for the burnout was finding the damn case file in dartmoor. that one was pissing me off an insane amount. but after i powered through, theres a lot of bangers. hell, even in dartmoor i had a blast tresspassing and turning the game into more of a stealth game. anyway, berlin and chongqing are the standouts here. berlin was entirely different than what i had expected, and the vibe was unmatched, pure adrenaline finding all those agents, and then in chongqing after infiltrating the ICA base, hearing agents react to what you did there... literally chefs kiss part of that map.

i also have to say, mission stories kinda grew on me here, at least that was the case for chongqing, killing that hush dude in the chair was so much more awesome following the linear path. also also, i adored the final level, which i know is a hot take in the fanbase. given how im not replaying these maps any time soon, i found it to be an awesome conclusion, thinking youre in some deep underground lab only for you to break open the door... and youre on a huge train. given my stealth focused approach in levels prior, i kinda liked the way this leaned into that type of approach as well. sure it might not give replay value but frankly i dont care, the spectacle was fantastic and more than made up for it.

as for the story, ehhh its still the same type of quality. not that deep or substantial but still fun, tho its kinda a bit like ghostrunner 2 where it became a bit hard to follow at the end. diana turns on him suddenly she doesnt turn on him for some reason. the plot in these games has always moved at a breakneck pace but here it's even faster. idk maybe its silly i care for the story so much but yeah it was just a bit confusing near the end. and i found myself caring less and less as i beat each level. the cast performances were great just like the other 2 games. excited for a hitman 4. and also excited for that james bond game. the studio has definitely earned my trust and respect and im glad i got these games off my backlog.

also quick note about freelancer, i played just one map. its fine if i want to scratch that itch i guess. sorry if this review's a bit shorter, found it hard to talk about this game for some reason.

i am conflicted

right off the bat, the game starts with an insanely good opening credits theme. this immediately sets the tone for an evolution of the same annoying earworm playing in the background that metal gear 1 was plagued with. im not kidding when i say that this opening theme is probably the best ive heard since gravity rush's discovery of gravitation, excluding full moon full life, but im not counting that. both have this indescribable feeling of something special, just conveying how much of a ride you're in for.

the ost as a whole has gotten a huge upgrade. there's tons of memorable songs, including the afformentioned opening theme, but also nearly every area theme. unfortunately, i found the "you've been spotted!" theme and the boss themes to be as lackluster as the first metal gear's soundtrack. they just sound like noise after a while.

another thing i liked about this one over the last was how much of an upgrade the color palette got here. it's much more vibrant and lush, compared to the muddy browns the first game was riddled with. seemingly, it's even more vibrant in the og release(i played the version that's included with mgs3 subsistence). another change in this version was the sprites.

the sprites in the og msx2 version are definitely giving off that vibe of "80s kids cartoon about a super spy". all buff macho men that are tanned to hell but contrasted to weirdly uncanny sprites of the female characters. i dont hate these sprites, but the ones in the subsistence version are definitely an improvement. perhaps that's just cuz i like anime style more but i cant really change that, can i?

the story for the most part is also stuck in the ways of metal gear 1, where it is too basic to take seriously. another casualty of the vibe of"80s kids cartoon about a super spy". that's what i would say if not for the end, where it raises some questions about war. being that this monologue was right at the very end though made it impossible to explore with any level of depth, but im gonna assume it's focused on a lot more in the solid series. the story is a relative improvement overall, though. it does it's job fine. felt a lot rushed at the end, though. it still insists upon cheesy b movie romance at the end, honestly the ending reminded me a ton of uncharted drake's fortune, lol.

youll have noticed im dancing around a huge issue i had with the first metal gear. ill just acknowledge it now, the game is still impossible without a guide. using a yt guide is how i even noticed the sprite and color changes between the versions. ill contend, maybe it's a bit less cryptic, but honestly, there's still plenty of areas you can just waltz right into without any way of beating the things that await you. that's just poor game design. without a guide id be so much more frustrated with this game, there's just too much that's not stated to the player in any way and it leaves them confused. im not from the era this was made, so this cryptic game design is foreign to me, and frankly i dont think it should've ever been this cryptic. im not against the openness of approach, but i wish it was more like "heres a bunch of paths you can take" you go to each of them but theyre all blocked off except one because you dont have an item, kinda like metroidvania progression. so it's still "open" but never confusing and you can only take one at a time.

another thing that makes me split on this game. the gameplay. dear god, the gameplay is as dogass as the first. enemy sightlines are still razor sharp and don't make much logical sense. you can walk right past them as long as youre an inch away vertically, but god forbid you walk in the horizontal sightline of someone on the opposite side of the screen. cuz youll be spotted immediately. there's no good or logical way to become hidden again. either you fuck with the game's memory by loading into another area and suddenly the entire base forgets about you, or you run for dear life like a chicken with it's head cut off. the jank way enemies see/forget you just breaks my immersion. honestly quite similar to hitman in that regard where they forget about you after a bit. another thing is the gunplay. it's still shitty. requires pixel perfect precision. clunky as fuck when you combine that with running away. it just flat out sucks. a lot of bosses are bullet sponges as well, which sucks. they are better than the first game's however.

so im very split on this game. on one hand, the ost is fantastic, the colors are better than the first game's poo brown, and the story feels like it's finally getting somewhere with what the solid games will focus on. the sprites also made me go "ooh ooh i know you youre that guy ive seen so much" . that being said, the game suffers a lot due to keeping a lot of the first game's shitty systems or cryptic gameplay requiring a guide. as it stands, i don't understand why i played these beforehand instead of hopping right into solid. maybe there will be some connections later on that will make it worth while like trails. but right now they do feel like a waste of time and disappointed me compared to what i had expected this series to be. ive had absolutely gargantuan expectations for the solid games for years given how much praise they get, and i feel like somehow ill be disappointed in them unless i temper my expectations. so ill scurry off and finish hitman 3 and cold steel 2 now. as for the game itself, the ost is really making me feel a 7, which surprises me, but that's what i feel mg2 is as of right now. maybe ill bump it down later, or even up, idk. hopefully ill be binging the solid games in May after i clear out the rest of my "playing" tab.

my friend Lemmers turned me onto this one. as someone who passively follows vtubers enough to understand little references and stuff(outside of maid mint who i avidly follow lol) i was able to understand what was going on here in terms of like, who these characters are. but idk the gameplay was just... not bad, but boring. the highlight is shiori's which clearly had the most effort put into it, a psx stylized type of game where you... idk honestly. you do something. i think its some type of survival horror game, idk. i got the seeds and water but got bored quickly after. this can be said for the nerissa, bijou and fuwamoco games too. i got incredibly bored after just a few minutes. the only thing it has going for it are the hololive references, other than that its a boring novelty. but yknow. the game's just so painfully average. not much else to say

played on bluestacks

these levels are all super great! the last level in this game was probably the hardest challenge ive faced so far in this replay of the series. i actually thought about shelving the game because of how hard it was initially but i surprised even myself with my dedication to this game and beat it anyway. all 3 tracks are insanely good, not to mention the aesthetic is super unique for all 3. probably the best of the expansions. yet another case of ost being super additive to my enjoyment of games, the wave part in power trip, hoo boy once you got that down you feel nigh unstoppable. i love the skill these levels require, this game rocks

on a semi related note: fuck ads placed in games. they suck and probably ate up at least 30 minutes of my time while practicing these levels and such. it is unbelievebly scummy how they hide skip buttons for these things, or the amount of false advertising in these ads. im also not a fan of most of the games being advertised due to their inherent "junk food" nature. with each passing ad i could feel myself falling back into that rabbit hole of addictive, shitty mobile games. it feels disgusting to see how bad ads have gotten in these games, perhaps maybe they were always this bad but i never noticed due to being a dumb kid. its scummy and wrong and i hate it.

anyway, geodash subzero is great, i just wish all these spinoffs were integrated into the pc port lol so i didnt have to see those stupid ads. now to cull hitman 3 and metal gear 2 off the backlog!

played on bluestacks

so ive been on a geometry dash kick for like a week and it was actually a song from this game popping in my head randomly, i searched it on yt and that made me decide to play through it. currently procrastinating an important paper and decided why not play the game the song was from, considering it was only 3 levels?

ill be honest, the levels are not difficult whatsoever compared to the main game, and the in-game adverts are annoying. but the presentation and overall aesthetic of the levels is a huge step up and definitely more experimental/out there compared to the base game - at least until xstep, idk if the aesthetic gets like this later on. that, and the music is sublime, even if it only has 3 songs, theyre all some of the best in the series. so if youre a fan of geometry dash and havent played these super easy levels, go for it, it only took me around 20-30 minutes for the entire game.

shoutout to airborne robots for reminding me of these games from my childhood, seriously that track is such a banger lol.

amazing value for what it is

buckshot roulette excels in atmosphere best. the grimy and dingy color palette is perfect for the underground vibe the game has. you never feel quite in control either, unlike balatro or inscryption. however, also unlike balatro, i dont think itll be eating up my time(now at 17 hours on balatro for those curious). the game also feels a bit scripted, both the dealer and i were down to the wire but i eeked it out every time i was near death. maybe luck really is on my side but idk it felt scripted regardless, and because im not gonna be playing other rounds anytime soon(see: balatro) ill forever think its scripted. still a great value for everything that's here, def check it out

note, i beat the 8 antes and that was the end goal at the start of the game so i count this as "completed"

when i first learned of balatro, it did not seem interesting. i mean, poker? you think i know how to play poker? im on a fucking games logging website, of course i dont. despite having little interest at this stage i chucked it in the wishlist and figured id buy it when it's half off. the more i thought about it, though, i recalled tons of games i thought id dislke becoming favorites: cold steel 1, ultrakill, twewy, katamari... the list goes on. being that it went on sale super soon with the most recent deckbuilder sale on steam, i bought into the hype. i mean, i have 2 hours to try it out and see if i like it, if i don't i get a full refund, right?

2.3 hours, just like that. where did the time go? i just played two games of balatro, no no no this cannot be happening im not getting addicted to this game like everyone else, am i? oh, fuck. 4 days pass, i emerge from my cave with 10 hours total.

balatro is nothing like gambling and i despise such a comparison. it's a game of numbers, synergies, and most of all, foresight. the systems are intricately designed and are a blast to play through. everything here is about synergies and constantly refining what you have. even so, the strengths of what's gonna be your main plays must be ironed out within the first few antes. for instance, my first winning run was based on an insane level (20 by the end game) on my pair hand. getting to that level requires a huge amount of foresight, like snatching up the telescope voucher and getting every single planet pack. this foresight is what makes the game so addicting, trying to synergize the perfect deck by the first few antes. after that though, you just keep raking chips in and you feel unstoppable. you take more risks, skip more blinds, get steel cards, glass cards, mult jokers... the works. until you realize your one trick pony has actually hindered you and oh, you lost you fucking dumbass.

see, on my winning run it was this one trick pony that got me through the first 8 antes, but beforehand all my one-trick runs did terribly. the pair synergy i had was great but unfortunately it's not that good of a hand compared to others in endless mode. this balancing act of putting a shit ton of effort into a few playing hands but not letting that turn into a one trick pony provides endless fun. i can see myself playing this game for a long long time, and it's because of the simplicity of this balancing act. easy to pick up, hard to master.

i love balatro, and if a ton of atlus rpgs weren't coming out this year it would easily pass for goty with flying colors.

it is quite, um, rage inducing too so keep that in mind.

guess the first real review again is... pepsiman

ah well, id end up hating games if i didnt let myself bounce between them

i played a bit of pepsiman a few years back and shelved it because one of those "running towards the screen" bits kept pissing me off. well here i am going through my unranked games (mostly web games) and seeing what i can rate and i see pepsiman again. looking up the time on hltb its not too bad of a timesink so i hop in.

the game reminds me alot of katamari damacy, which at first may seem like a weird comparison. let me explain. both are weird/quirky, almost downright nonsensical games with a banger soundtrack. like, is there any other game in which you roll up the entire world? no! is there any other game where you run through a fucking pepsi factory as a buff man in a skintight pepsi suit? no!

anyway i actually really liked the music here, its insane how good it is for some weird soda tie in game. all the level themes and the main theme are fantastic, i really love the desert theme, which kikuo shamelessly stole from a mere 19 years later -there are two seperate hyperlinks there- but yeah as a whole the ost is a gem.

another thing i liked was the fat guy who's in the cutscenes, really makes me wonder why this game was never localized to the us, or rather, the game was localized to japan. i mean all the text is already in english and there needs to be japanese subs in the cutscenes, it seems more like the game was localized for japan lol. very silly game. it's dripping with irony that pepsiman needs to bring soda to dehydrated people in the desert which will only make their dehydration worse... or the fact there's a place called pepsi city and the citizens set the place ablaze because there wasnt enough pepsi?? you cant make this shit up, its fantastic.

as for the gameplay, i was surprised. considering that i dislike platformers i figured id dislike this gameplay as well but i actually find it pretty dang fun. it's really fun to get through all the levels. especially the later stages with a harder difficulty curve. where it seems impossible but slowly it gets easier and you beat the level with ease after a while. another thing i really appreciated was the ability to save after each level, something i despised with dkc2 was it's saving system that would've only increased my rage if i didnt use save states there. it was really nice to be able to do each level as many times as needed without fear of fucking up since you'll only have to retry the current level. one thing that did put me in a blind rage however were those damn run toward the screen levels. i mean, in theory they're hilarious since the superhero pepsiman just runs away and lets a gigantic "boulder" crash into some building. more like super villian. anyway yeah these levels are fine in theory but in practice i didnt feel like i was learning anything and it was mostly up to rng/luck for when i beat it, it gets harder and harder to see the more you get hit too. the timing isn't that forgiving either. but other than that game mode the gameplay was great, and i'd be down to check out other games of its style.

overall quite the fun experience, do recommend