Look, Celery.

I'm sorry, but... I have to let you go.

I was immediately smitten with you from the start. The way you talked about food and flavors and how you could taste with your ears left me breathless. I laughed and curled my disgusting rat tail when you talked about your berry-infused hats. And when you tasted me with those ears... My heart was racing.

We made some incredible memories together. And that's what makes this so difficult. We could have been something truly special together, but... you've changed. You once were a passionate rat, eager to share your love of hear-eating with those around you, but you've grown cold. Pretentious. Maybe even a little full of yourself. I didn't feel valued anymore. I just can't be with someone who lacks humility.

I'm sorry.

Also there's this ghost rat and I'm kind of morally obligated to propose to her so she can finally move on to the afterlife, I'm sure you understand

In the early 2000s, somebody thought, "What if we made a Wild West outlaw game, but you fly an airplane the whole time" and it turned out incredible. However, unsatisfied, they then proceeded to wonder, "What if it became a Chicago mafia game, but you fly an airplane the whole time", and it was just as good. But with more yet to give unto the world, they looked the original Xbox right in its single green eye and posed the ultimate question: "What if it ends up being an Indiana Jones game... but you fly an airplane the whole time??"

I truly do not believe that games need to look any better than Crimson Skies. This is peak sixth-generation aesthetic, and it looks phenomenal upresed on Series X. There's so much style and charm on display here, with a delightfully pulpy performance from Timothy Omundson (!!!GALAVANT REFERENCE!!!) in the lead role. But more than anything, this is the most engaging air combat I've ever experienced, with its dogfights' tension regularly making me clench up and lean into turns while sitting on my couch like the guy in the N64 Tilt Pak ad. The final segment of the penultimate level in particular is one of the most intense, nail-biting sequences in any game I've ever played. I loved all of it!

Now lastly, we have to acknowledge the loss of a reviewing giant. Recently @Elkmane announced his retirement. As a lifelong Elkster, I knew this day was coming, but thought we had more time. While it's not the name he used here, I knew him as Big John. It just so happens that Crimson Skies features an ally character of the same name, and in the final level, King Richard kept shouting his name. I became fond of this game's Big John, but I'll miss the real one far more. So long, pal.

Elksters for life.

Was this game marketed as a VN? It probably should have been.

The illusion of choice strikes again!! This is the most a point-and-click styled game has ever held my hand, to the point where it felt like I had no say in anything that happened. Dordogne is one of those games that happens to you, rather than allowing you to be an active participant. It's not a standard walking simulator, but it's about as interactive as a guided tour of a local museum.

Despite the dull gameplay, it is stunningly beautiful. The way the watercolor-painted textures are mapped to 3D models is often breathtaking, and was the key reason I played the game. The voice performances are quite good as well, but what really surprised me (having come to the game after seeing the reveal trailer, expecting a cozy happy game) was how SAD the game is. The story revolves around a broken family, alternating between glimpses of the protagonist's childhood and their present. And sure, it's about overcoming the issues that have affected the family, but I've been through plenty of those IRL, Dordogne is way too stressful for me to consider it recreation!

Anyhow, this game is beautiful enough that some people will be able to enjoy it for the visuals alone. It does paint a nice picture of a summer in youth spent at a relative's house (Sort of a French Boku no Natsuyasumi without any of the freedom), and that may have enough appeal for some players as well. The bottom line is that the setting and story's appeal is about as YMMV as it gets, the visuals are stunning, and the gameplay may as well not be there at all.

The most interactive segment was a bizarre minigame about brushing your teeth. Not for me!

This is one of the most creative and clever point-and-clicks I've ever played. Unfortunately, there's a large portion lampooning pay-to-win idle clicker mobile games, and the game's commitment to the bit turns that segment into a bad time, though the game recovers and ends quite strongly.

As the title states, there is no game here! Nope. Just a locked-down title screen. But while you're there, you might as well mess around to see if you can find something to do.

If you're a fan of classic Lucasarts or Sierra adventure games, and if you enjoyed the meta humor and story of The Stanley Parable, you should definitely go into this game without learning anything else! The story is fantastically clever and engrossing, and the whole thing is only about 4 hours long. I waited for a sale ($9 instead of $13) and I honestly feel stupid for waiting that long to save 4 dollars. This game is absolutely worth it at full price, though you can get it for $5 on mobile. Since the experience is mostly comprised of clicking and/or tapping, it shouldn't be an inferior experience on a phone. Just be ready for a tedious middle segment (in which the tedium is meant as a joke) that overstays its welcome a bit, and trust that the ending will absolutely be worth it.

This is the quintessential 90s licensed game.

✅ Side-scrolling beat-em-up
✅ Minimal frames of character animation
✅ Overly simplistic controls, with fewer moves than buttons
✅ Very short length inflated by repetition
✅ Different enemies are often just palette swaps
❌ Fun

Please be advised, this is not a port of the Arcade title. These are drastically different games, I've submitted a revision on IGDB to get "Arcade" removed from this page as a platform because these have nothing to do with each other besides the IP.

EDIT: Revision approved!

Football for the 2600 is... unknowable. The teams are seemingly comprised of cars with feet. After throwing the ball, it becomes the controlled playable character until it is caught. On defense, pressing the single Atari controller button seems to make your defenders flee from the opposing team. There is allegedly a way to plan your blocking formation before each play, but I couldn't for the life of me figure it out. And there's a clearly marked first down line, but I found no indication that the game counts downs at all.

EDIT: After more time playing, I discovered it does count downs, but it will flip possession seemingly at random well before a fourth down, leading to the initial confusion. It might be poor interception/fumble detection??

Truly a marvel, will play again with my kids. The game is broken. We had a blast.

My only prior experience with Mario Land 2 was seeing my cousin play it briefly in like 2002. I remembered that the overworld seemed cool, but that was it.

And I remembered that aspect for good reason! The charm is off the scale here. This is arguably the greatest overworld of any Mario game, the theming of the levels is delightful and incredibly varied. Can you believe that all we get in most 2D Mario games is stuff like "Desert Area" or "Forest again"??? In '92 on the GAME BOY OF ALL PLACES, Mario had a Halloween land, a giant Mario robot, and a level made of Lego bricks. WHERE DID THIS AMAZING CREATIVITY GO?!? There are even enemies that I've never seen in another Mario game; "Owl with Guile's haircut who gives you a ride" is my new favorite Mario character.

Of course, it's still a platformer on the Game Boy, so the gameplay itself is still nothing mind-blowing, but it is better than most other Game Boy titles. Just wish we could get this level of imagination in a new Mario game!

I think I could play Tinykin forever.

If there were always more areas to explore, I would never get tired of this game. It's a beautiful hybrid of 3D platforming and stress-free, enemyless Pikmin, a combination I never would have come up with myself. Playing Tinykin feels like putting vanilla extract in your lemonade for the first time. (I'm serious, it's delicious, BUT JUST A TINY BIT OF VANILLA DON'T OVERDO IT) This new combination of things I already loved has blown me away.

Now, 100%ing the game was a bit of a drag at the end, but I did eventually find every single Tinykin and every bit of pollen in the house. If I could change one thing about the game, I would have included an unlockable radar for both Tinykin and Pollen. Since there are two exhibits in the hub area that you're meant to fill (the drinks and the artefacs), radar/detectors being rewards for completing each of these would have been perfect. There's no real reward for completion other than achievements, but the game was so delightful that I wanted to play every bit of it that I could.

The story is wack though, I rewatched the ending twice and still can't confidently explain what really happened!

Alex's Cowabunga Collection Marathon, Pt. 10 of 13

"WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD OF FIGHTING!! DON'T TAKE IT SO HARD!"

Okay, I know I said that HyperStone Heist had some janky translation, but Tournament Fighters on SNES is so much more over-the-top about it. Both characters scream at each other before fights, the winner shouts at the lifeless corpse of the loser, and there's more yelling while riding the Turtle Blimp between levels. I don't think any dialogue exists in this game that isn't in all caps. I love it! At one point, Leo called out "HEY! WE'VE FOUND OUT THE ART MUSEUM!" Immediately after, I was standing in front of two giant stone unicorn heads while Chrome Dome introduced himself by bellowing "YOU HAVE NO FUTURE!"

Obviously this is a fighting game, not a shouting game, but the dialogue was so much fun. The actual game itself is really good! While the NES version was impressive for that hardware and the Genesis port was a waking nightmare, the SNES edition of Tournament Fighters is more than competent. In terms of quality, this felt a lot closer to Street Fighter II than most 16-bit fighting games. Over the course of the story mode, I felt myself learning how to utilize my turtle effectively, improving my skills with each round. By the end, I knew what I was doing and was able to defeat the last few enemies more easily than the ones I fought at the very beginning. Not because they were weaker, but because I was able to git gud improve.

Of the three Tournament Fighters games, this is the most balanced, functional, and fair. The visuals are great, with detailed and lively backgrounds being particularly impressive. If you had grown up with this instead of Street Fighter II or Mortal Kombat in the early 90s, I don't think you would have been shortchanged.

Also, those games don't kick off a climactic battle to save Splinter with "FAKE BROTHER! YOU STINK!"

Once upon a time, Sakurai put Marth in Smash.

No one in my group of friends had heard of Fire Emblem at that point, but my interest was piqued. Over the next couple of years, Marth and Roy grew on me, but I didn't have a GBA, so I didn't try out any games from their series.

Then Nintendo Power gave this game a 9.5.

And THEN no one bought it.

Fast-forward a few months, and I'm digging through my local Shopko's VG bargain bin. I discovered a few dozen copies of Path of Radiance for $20 each. (I know that sounds absurd now, what with the crazy prices this game fetches on eBay) I picked it up, unsure if the blue-haired guy on the front was Marth or not.

When I got home, I was immediately disappointed to learn it was definitely not Marth. But I soon completely forgot that disappointment as I was blown away by THE MOST GORGEOUS CUTSCENE I had ever seen in a video game. The story presentation was off the charts for 2005.

After a brief tutorial level, I was already getting attached to these characters. After the stage that followed, I was already loving the grid-based battle mechanics. And a couple dozen hours of gameplay later, I had carefully honed my little army. I had assigned favorite weapons to different characters based on their specific abilities. They had forged relationships with each other. Some had grown up. Some had died. (Seriously, no one warned me about the permadeath) Some had been sidelined since early on because I SUPER did not care about them. (NO ONE LIKES YOU, BOYD) And when it was done, I felt genuinely happy for the characters.

Anyhow, Fire Emblem rules, and this one lets you have soldiers who can turn into dragons and tigers and ravens and stuff, so definitely play it on an emulator until Old Man Nintendo decides to finally do something with all the classic games trapped on the GameCube.