thealexmott
BACKER
Has anyone who worked on this game ever actually walked on wooden floors before?? Every time these hulking masses of man meat entered a busted-up domestic structure, the foley of their boots stomping on hardwood completely dominated our entire living room as if it was a "bass boosted" YTP from days gone by. Floors don't sound like war drums, guys!
Anyhow uhhhhhhh pretty good co-op experience! The reload timing is cool, reviving is a nice alternative to respawning, campaign length is nice and tight, and I like way those deep voice enemies say "BOOM". Besides having Bongo Bongo from Ocarina of Time do the footstep sound design, my only real complaint is how frequently you reach a door, have a need to go through that door, and then have to wait for the door to be opened for you. I'm 500 pounds of surly beefcake and jagged metal, just let me through already!
Oh and I constantly forgot that Jack existed, it's like I had no object permanence for that weird little robot
Anyhow uhhhhhhh pretty good co-op experience! The reload timing is cool, reviving is a nice alternative to respawning, campaign length is nice and tight, and I like way those deep voice enemies say "BOOM". Besides having Bongo Bongo from Ocarina of Time do the footstep sound design, my only real complaint is how frequently you reach a door, have a need to go through that door, and then have to wait for the door to be opened for you. I'm 500 pounds of surly beefcake and jagged metal, just let me through already!
Oh and I constantly forgot that Jack existed, it's like I had no object permanence for that weird little robot
1985
Popo and Nana being cut from Smash 4 wasn't actually about technical limitations. Sakurai just finally got around to playing Ice Climber and deleted all their code and assets in a fit of disgusted rage.
The only thing you race against in Gotham City Racer is the clock. This Twisted Metal wannabe is comprised of a series of Batmobile missions, bookended by clips of the 90s animated series. The story presentation is done quite well, but that's just because the show that it's derived from is fantastic. What you're really playing here is the time spent traveling between scenes. Sometimes you're pursuing another car, shooting assorted Bat-projectiles to wear them down, but quite often your objective is just "QUICK GET TO THE LOCATION WHERE THE STORY IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN BEFORE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS".
I was going to jokingly say that this is a game where you watch the action and play the loading screens, but there are actual loading screens in the middle of most of the playable segments. See, Gotham is split into a few chunks, and most missions will take you to more than one of these partitions. Each time you enter a new area, you're struck by a 15-30 second loading screen in the middle of your "race". It really kills any hopes the game had of creating tension or excitement when you have to take a mandatory time-out during your high-stakes car chase.
But even if all of that was fine, the game fails for two more fundamental reasons: First, the controls are real real bad. And second, the map is practically worthless. When you're playing a destination-based stage, you've got an arrow over your head pointing in the general direction that you need to go, and you've got a minimap in the corner. But without the ability to zoom the map out, you'll quickly find yourself unable to proceed towards your target location due to fences or bodies of water. Unless you memorize all the maps AND the destinations using guides online, you essentially just have to make guesses and drive blindly, hoping you'll stumble across an area where you can reach the goal without Michael Scott GPS-ing the Batmobile into a lake.
I was going to jokingly say that this is a game where you watch the action and play the loading screens, but there are actual loading screens in the middle of most of the playable segments. See, Gotham is split into a few chunks, and most missions will take you to more than one of these partitions. Each time you enter a new area, you're struck by a 15-30 second loading screen in the middle of your "race". It really kills any hopes the game had of creating tension or excitement when you have to take a mandatory time-out during your high-stakes car chase.
But even if all of that was fine, the game fails for two more fundamental reasons: First, the controls are real real bad. And second, the map is practically worthless. When you're playing a destination-based stage, you've got an arrow over your head pointing in the general direction that you need to go, and you've got a minimap in the corner. But without the ability to zoom the map out, you'll quickly find yourself unable to proceed towards your target location due to fences or bodies of water. Unless you memorize all the maps AND the destinations using guides online, you essentially just have to make guesses and drive blindly, hoping you'll stumble across an area where you can reach the goal without Michael Scott GPS-ing the Batmobile into a lake.
2022
There's a gamer boss that you defeat by shooting him with soapy water
2021
Did you ever read Redwall books as a kid?
Tails of Iron absolutely RIPS. What an incredible little adventure! I didn't expect it to be what it was, and only tried it because it was a PS Plus monthly game. It's not a full-blown Metroidvania, but it borrows enough from the genre that, when combined with its solid combat-focused gameplay, it scratched the Silksong itch quite nicely.
I loved the setting and aesthetic, the art is perfectly grotty and messy, with rats, frogs, bugs, and moles cleaving heads and covering each other in viscera. The narration is also incredibly well-done, reminding me a lot of Bastion. Everything works together beautifully to create a compelling experience from start to finish, as you fight off invaders in your kingdom and rebuild what they've destroyed. The narration does a great job of describing everything from the rat protagonist's POV, and I couldn't have been more engrossed by the end.
Playing on PS5 was the right move as well, as the game makes great use of the Dualsense's adaptive triggers, and allows map navigation via the touch controls. I was a little annoyed by the rumble, however, as the intensity doesn't differentiate between getting struck by a massive boss or landing after a standing jump. But that was honestly my only negative of the entire experience, and at just under 5 hours to 100%, I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who enjoys challenging combat.
Tails of Iron absolutely RIPS. What an incredible little adventure! I didn't expect it to be what it was, and only tried it because it was a PS Plus monthly game. It's not a full-blown Metroidvania, but it borrows enough from the genre that, when combined with its solid combat-focused gameplay, it scratched the Silksong itch quite nicely.
I loved the setting and aesthetic, the art is perfectly grotty and messy, with rats, frogs, bugs, and moles cleaving heads and covering each other in viscera. The narration is also incredibly well-done, reminding me a lot of Bastion. Everything works together beautifully to create a compelling experience from start to finish, as you fight off invaders in your kingdom and rebuild what they've destroyed. The narration does a great job of describing everything from the rat protagonist's POV, and I couldn't have been more engrossed by the end.
Playing on PS5 was the right move as well, as the game makes great use of the Dualsense's adaptive triggers, and allows map navigation via the touch controls. I was a little annoyed by the rumble, however, as the intensity doesn't differentiate between getting struck by a massive boss or landing after a standing jump. But that was honestly my only negative of the entire experience, and at just under 5 hours to 100%, I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who enjoys challenging combat.
2022
Before 2022, if you asked me what the cutest post-apocalytic game was, it would have obviously been Pikmin 3. But now we've got Kirby and the Forgotten Land AND Stray??
Stray is great! It felt at first like it was going to be a straightforward exploration-focused game, but there's a lot more Early 90s Sierra influence than I expected. The world is beautiful and just the right size; each time I started to feel like an area was too big to not get lost in, I would suddenly start to get my bearings. The environments are well laid-out enough that I could now point you towards any location of interest from memory. I still wouldn't have said no to a Metroid Prime-esque map, but it's not as harmful of an omission here as it was in something like Supraland or The Gunk.
Anyhow. Stray emphasizes that it's nice to go outside. That there's a need to escape from the city now and then. Which means THIS banger kept popping into my head during my playthrough (sorry @Alexizaki it's not what you're thinking): https://youtu.be/Yvg8p0wKiJo
Stray is great! It felt at first like it was going to be a straightforward exploration-focused game, but there's a lot more Early 90s Sierra influence than I expected. The world is beautiful and just the right size; each time I started to feel like an area was too big to not get lost in, I would suddenly start to get my bearings. The environments are well laid-out enough that I could now point you towards any location of interest from memory. I still wouldn't have said no to a Metroid Prime-esque map, but it's not as harmful of an omission here as it was in something like Supraland or The Gunk.
Anyhow. Stray emphasizes that it's nice to go outside. That there's a need to escape from the city now and then. Which means THIS banger kept popping into my head during my playthrough (sorry @Alexizaki it's not what you're thinking): https://youtu.be/Yvg8p0wKiJo
I picked this up because there seemed to be a consensus that this was the best Mario Party in ages, going back to basics after Mario Party 10 and Super Mario Party. I definitely agree that Superstars is better than having all players move around in a single car together, but to me, this doesn't feel like a Mario Party worth getting excited for. Having recently played each of these boards in their original titles via the NSO, I don't really see the appeal of Superstars, as it takes some of the simplest and least-engaging boards in the franchise, and eliminates their charming N64 aesthetic in favor of that standard "Generic Mario" visual style. The minigame collection is solid, but these boards really don't do it for me.
I've played this, Super Mario Party, and 1-7 with my kids over the past few years. This feels really weird to say, but... I feel like I need to get Mario Party 8. Maybe that was secretly the best one all along. At least it had interesting boards!
I've played this, Super Mario Party, and 1-7 with my kids over the past few years. This feels really weird to say, but... I feel like I need to get Mario Party 8. Maybe that was secretly the best one all along. At least it had interesting boards!
2011
After Serebii/Bulbapedia, this is the greatest Pokémon resource on the internet. The ability to quickly test out teams before putting the effort into breeding and leveling them is priceless for a competitive player.
But keeping up with the metagame takes a ton of time, so ever since Gen VI ended I kind of just play Random Doubles
But keeping up with the metagame takes a ton of time, so ever since Gen VI ended I kind of just play Random Doubles
2020
Look, it's cute that this game lets you get a job as a Bard in a medieval-themed map, but it pretty much plays itself. Every challenge or action is just spinning the wheel for a number between 1 and 10. Dance off? Spin. Bowling competition? Spin. Costume contest? UHHHH YOU BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GONNA SPIN. The themed boards and music are quite charming, but most of the maps are paid DLC, with only three included in the already-overpriced base game. The 90s Game of Life for PC has ridiculous animations and cute minigames, it's way better than this snoozefest.
Also, how do you explain $100k for "takeout"?!?
Also, how do you explain $100k for "takeout"?!?
A bit of a letdown, but still good! It's more of a lateral move from the first Mario + Rabbids rather than an improvement.
PROS:
- The game allows you to have any configuration for your team, whereas the first game forced you to have Mario and at least one Rabbid at all times. This is a MASSIVE improvement and was easily the worst aspect of the first game.
- Sparks are great! There are a bunch of cool uses for them, and the ability to customize which character has which abilities before any match was a very good choice, especially once you make a bit of progress and can put two on each teammate. The sparks that summon enemy-type characters to your side are the biggest addition here, providing the most substantial change to the combat this time around.
- Music is consistently great throughout, though I don't think the idea to use 3 different composers was a great one. The game doesn't have a strong musical identity because you have three drastically different musical voices scoring the whole thing. It ultimately feels more like a playlist of songs from other games rather than a consistent soundtrack.
Hey, that was more of a negative than a positive! Guess it's time for
CONS:
- Status affects are worse. The first game featured bounce, burn, honey, ink, push, freeze, stone and vamp powers, and they all fulfilled very specific purposes and I loved how they were tied to individual weapons. Sparks of Hope retires the idea of alternative weapons entirely and allows you to apply new abilities to your attacks and/or dashes, but now they mainly work like Pokemon types, where most enemies have one effect they're weak to and one they resist. It felt consistently worse than the old system.
- Battles happen a LOT more, and they're in little pocket dimension levels instead of taking place on the overworld's terrain. I enjoyed certain mechanics of the newer combat, but the battles themselves all felt far more bland and forgettable than in Kingdom Battle. The previous game's focus on completing hand-crafted battles in as few turns as possible was so much more engaging than these uninspired shootouts. I honestly wondered for a while if these battlegrounds were procedurally generated, they felt so lifeless.
- Puzzles are slower and more obtuse. There's far too much "walk over here, pick up this thing, take it over there, put it in another thing" in each area of the overworld, and it gets tedious fast. Some of the puzzles which try to be more complicated end up requiring Sierra Adventure Game-level guesswork, and I got stuck quite a few times (though I only had to look up two solutions online).
- Rabbid Luigi, my poor baby. He used to be vampire dashing like 6 times in one turn, dominating the floor. He was the Rodney Mullen of Kingdom Battle. Now all he's good for is lowering opponents' attack. Huge downgrade for my MVP from the first game.
- Spoken dialogue is super weird! I turned off the dialogue pretty quickly, but the game did sound weird without the grunts and growls, so I eventually left it on but very low. I'm not sure if I'm in the minority with this, but I loved how the Rabbids in the first game still spoke in nonsensical "BWAAHHH" sounds! Hearing Rabbid Peach talk like a stereotype of a bratty Millennial influencer was just the woooorrrrst. I was not a fan of any of the spoken dialogue in the game, big misstep as far as I'm concerned.
- The ending just kind of... happens. Just like in this review!
PROS:
- The game allows you to have any configuration for your team, whereas the first game forced you to have Mario and at least one Rabbid at all times. This is a MASSIVE improvement and was easily the worst aspect of the first game.
- Sparks are great! There are a bunch of cool uses for them, and the ability to customize which character has which abilities before any match was a very good choice, especially once you make a bit of progress and can put two on each teammate. The sparks that summon enemy-type characters to your side are the biggest addition here, providing the most substantial change to the combat this time around.
- Music is consistently great throughout, though I don't think the idea to use 3 different composers was a great one. The game doesn't have a strong musical identity because you have three drastically different musical voices scoring the whole thing. It ultimately feels more like a playlist of songs from other games rather than a consistent soundtrack.
Hey, that was more of a negative than a positive! Guess it's time for
CONS:
- Status affects are worse. The first game featured bounce, burn, honey, ink, push, freeze, stone and vamp powers, and they all fulfilled very specific purposes and I loved how they were tied to individual weapons. Sparks of Hope retires the idea of alternative weapons entirely and allows you to apply new abilities to your attacks and/or dashes, but now they mainly work like Pokemon types, where most enemies have one effect they're weak to and one they resist. It felt consistently worse than the old system.
- Battles happen a LOT more, and they're in little pocket dimension levels instead of taking place on the overworld's terrain. I enjoyed certain mechanics of the newer combat, but the battles themselves all felt far more bland and forgettable than in Kingdom Battle. The previous game's focus on completing hand-crafted battles in as few turns as possible was so much more engaging than these uninspired shootouts. I honestly wondered for a while if these battlegrounds were procedurally generated, they felt so lifeless.
- Puzzles are slower and more obtuse. There's far too much "walk over here, pick up this thing, take it over there, put it in another thing" in each area of the overworld, and it gets tedious fast. Some of the puzzles which try to be more complicated end up requiring Sierra Adventure Game-level guesswork, and I got stuck quite a few times (though I only had to look up two solutions online).
- Rabbid Luigi, my poor baby. He used to be vampire dashing like 6 times in one turn, dominating the floor. He was the Rodney Mullen of Kingdom Battle. Now all he's good for is lowering opponents' attack. Huge downgrade for my MVP from the first game.
- Spoken dialogue is super weird! I turned off the dialogue pretty quickly, but the game did sound weird without the grunts and growls, so I eventually left it on but very low. I'm not sure if I'm in the minority with this, but I loved how the Rabbids in the first game still spoke in nonsensical "BWAAHHH" sounds! Hearing Rabbid Peach talk like a stereotype of a bratty Millennial influencer was just the woooorrrrst. I was not a fan of any of the spoken dialogue in the game, big misstep as far as I'm concerned.
- The ending just kind of... happens. Just like in this review!
2019
Yakuza 5 is an anthology series.
Episode 1 - Kazuma Kiryu
“Suicidal Pedestrian Kart”
————————————————
The citizens of Nagasugai are desperate to die! It is your job to thwart the morbid plans of the populace while lawfully delivering your passengers!
Episode 2 - Taiga Saejima
“Cabela’s Dangerous Hunts: Sapporo Edition feat. Weapon Distribution Santa”
————————————————
Eat tripe, learn what a Marten is, and giggle every time Saejima says “Baba-chan”!
Episode 3 - Haruka Sawamura
“Harukatsune Miku”
————————————————
Sing and dance as you learn to stand up for yourself, but also repeat things back to authority figures verbatim and follow countless instructions without any error or deviation of any kind!
Episode 4 - Shun Akiyama
“Inept Businessman Simulator: Osaka Expansion”
————————————————
Spend very little time establishing a new office because there’s so much DANCING and KICKING to do!
Episode 5 - Tatsuo Shinada
“Brothel Baseball Chocobo Racer”
————————————————
Whack balls, race chickens, and write smut to get out of CRIPPLING DEBT!
Episode 6 - All
"Yakuzavengers: Homecoming"
————————————————
Probably the most baffling, nonsensical climax of any Yakuza game so far, but that doesn't stop it from being hype!
Episode 1 - Kazuma Kiryu
“Suicidal Pedestrian Kart”
————————————————
The citizens of Nagasugai are desperate to die! It is your job to thwart the morbid plans of the populace while lawfully delivering your passengers!
Episode 2 - Taiga Saejima
“Cabela’s Dangerous Hunts: Sapporo Edition feat. Weapon Distribution Santa”
————————————————
Eat tripe, learn what a Marten is, and giggle every time Saejima says “Baba-chan”!
Episode 3 - Haruka Sawamura
“Harukatsune Miku”
————————————————
Sing and dance as you learn to stand up for yourself, but also repeat things back to authority figures verbatim and follow countless instructions without any error or deviation of any kind!
Episode 4 - Shun Akiyama
“Inept Businessman Simulator: Osaka Expansion”
————————————————
Spend very little time establishing a new office because there’s so much DANCING and KICKING to do!
Episode 5 - Tatsuo Shinada
“Brothel Baseball Chocobo Racer”
————————————————
Whack balls, race chickens, and write smut to get out of CRIPPLING DEBT!
Episode 6 - All
"Yakuzavengers: Homecoming"
————————————————
Probably the most baffling, nonsensical climax of any Yakuza game so far, but that doesn't stop it from being hype!
2004
In 2004, I saw this game in so many ads in Nintendo Power, it's been burned into my brain. Even though I hadn't actually touched it until last week, it likely would have been the first thing that came to mind if you had ever asked me to name a non-first-party GBA game. I miss Nintendo Power!
It's Mr. Pants is a unique enough puzzle game. You are given Tetrimino-esque blocks in 4 different colors (but varying sizes, sometimes as small as 1 block) with the goal being to clear existing blocks off the board. Blocks are erased by creating rectangles at least 2x3 in size, and blocks can be placed on others of a different color to replace them. What makes the main mode both appealing and tricky is that, unlike Tetris, you're not getting randomized pieces. Rather, each puzzle has a predetermined order and amount of pieces which you have to use to end up with a completely empty board. It takes a while to learn the game's internal logic, but after a little bit of "How on Earth am I ever going to figure this mess out", every puzzle's solution did become apparent without resorting to looking up the solution. If you need it, there is a solid in-game hint system if you've failed a puzzle three times in a row which will correct your first incorrect block placement.
It was engaging and intuitive enough that I played through the 25 Easy and 50 Medium puzzles, but pushing through all 75 Hard puzzles is too much. (EDIT: I have now learned that there is a FOURTH difficulty setting with 100 puzzles in it. Very glad I stopped!!) It's a very clever game, but as the difficulty increases, it becomes more about guessing the dev's intent rather than puzzling out the solution yourself.
As a Rare game, it of course has a great soundtrack by the Beanland/Wise/Fischer combo, and features vocals by Mr. Pants himself, which add a lot of character. I'd recommend giving this a shot if you're looking for a unique brain-teaser, but I wouldn't call it a must-play by any means.
It's Mr. Pants is a unique enough puzzle game. You are given Tetrimino-esque blocks in 4 different colors (but varying sizes, sometimes as small as 1 block) with the goal being to clear existing blocks off the board. Blocks are erased by creating rectangles at least 2x3 in size, and blocks can be placed on others of a different color to replace them. What makes the main mode both appealing and tricky is that, unlike Tetris, you're not getting randomized pieces. Rather, each puzzle has a predetermined order and amount of pieces which you have to use to end up with a completely empty board. It takes a while to learn the game's internal logic, but after a little bit of "How on Earth am I ever going to figure this mess out", every puzzle's solution did become apparent without resorting to looking up the solution. If you need it, there is a solid in-game hint system if you've failed a puzzle three times in a row which will correct your first incorrect block placement.
It was engaging and intuitive enough that I played through the 25 Easy and 50 Medium puzzles, but pushing through all 75 Hard puzzles is too much. (EDIT: I have now learned that there is a FOURTH difficulty setting with 100 puzzles in it. Very glad I stopped!!) It's a very clever game, but as the difficulty increases, it becomes more about guessing the dev's intent rather than puzzling out the solution yourself.
As a Rare game, it of course has a great soundtrack by the Beanland/Wise/Fischer combo, and features vocals by Mr. Pants himself, which add a lot of character. I'd recommend giving this a shot if you're looking for a unique brain-teaser, but I wouldn't call it a must-play by any means.
Pokémon has always had problems with introducing cool mechanics and then forgetting about them. I'm still bitter about Megas being ditched, but even worse is how Emerald had Double Battles EVERYWHERE, making the gameplay 10000% more interesting than Ruby/Sapphire, and then they never released another main-series game with that 2v2 focus again.
WHY
WHY
- I only ever watched like half of one YouTube video about this game back in 2011, so I'm mostly coming in blind here
- Shockingly, it turns out that when you disregard any complex physics principles like momentum or friction, it's pretty dang easy to keep your vehicle on the road at full speed
- Is there a reason why that crashed helicopter is there?? The whole game feels comically janky until that, like there was suddenly a moment of menace in this goofy mess
- Driving straight towards a bridge only to clip through it and drive under it is peak comedy
- Playing this with my kids was the right choice, they couldn't stop laughing
- Kind of disappointed that Nightride doesn't work! Finished the other 4 though!
- Shockingly, it turns out that when you disregard any complex physics principles like momentum or friction, it's pretty dang easy to keep your vehicle on the road at full speed
- Is there a reason why that crashed helicopter is there?? The whole game feels comically janky until that, like there was suddenly a moment of menace in this goofy mess
- Driving straight towards a bridge only to clip through it and drive under it is peak comedy
- Playing this with my kids was the right choice, they couldn't stop laughing
- Kind of disappointed that Nightride doesn't work! Finished the other 4 though!
1989
Playing the Game Boy version of Tetris for the first time really shows what an iterative process this game has had. People will often say that Tetris is a perfect puzzle game, but I don't think it actually started out that way. For Tetris to be considered great, it needs great controls. The Game Boy version is pretty rough in that regard, with pieces often feeling like they got caught or stuck in a way that simply does not happen in any of the more recent titles. The NES version holds up better than this. Still a fun enough time that I cracked a 6-figure score (ended on level 11 I think), but with so many versions of Tetris out there, this isn't the one that anyone should put their time into.