Castlevania II: Simon's Quest is a really interesting game, no doubt.

Unlike the original, Simon's Quest decides to be an action-adventure, where you travel through many areas across Transylvania, in a non-linear fashion, to fight monsters, talk to townspeople, and uncover Mansions where the five pieces of Dracula reside.
All of this while there's an in-game timer, that while doesn't have a limit, makes the game have a day and night cycle, where certain elements change whether it's day or night.

This structure has been bashed by many people for being convoluted, cryptic and feeling like you easily get lost.

While I don't oppose those people's comments, the matter of the fact is... I had fun with this one.

It's not as good as the original, yes, but I really like the vibe of this game.
Unless I'm mistaken, I don't think there's ever been a Castlevania game where you go through towns, forest and mansions in a free-form fashion like this.
Even the Search Action/Metroidvania games that we would see in the future, like Symphony of the Night, always made you run around a giant castle, but never (or barely) outside.

While a lot of the NPCs in the towns say useless things, some of them do give you clues to what you should be getting to proceed. Additionally, there's also some textbooks you can find in cryptic places of the world that give you more hints at progression.
And the towns can also have churches, that help you heal yourself back up, which were a godsend (pun not intended).

The day and night system can make it so you can't talk to any of the townsfolk or go inside any buildings, which does suck, but at least I get the opportunity to grind for hearts from the Zombies that constantly appear in them.

Hearts in this game, while they're still ammunition for some of the sub-weapons that you get in your journey, they're also currency to buy many of the items you need to progress.
You also have lives in this game, and if you lose them all, that's a Game Over, which doesn't push you far, but makes you lose all your hearts, which makes it so you have to grind again.

BUT... if you're able to not get many Game Overs, if at all, besides the beginning of the game, you should rarely need to grind, which is nice!

The music in this game is really nice to the ears! It might be a bit limiting, but the tracks were so good, that it didn't get repetitive for me. Bloody Tears was introduced in this game, and it's awesome, one of my favourite Castlevania tracks, bar none.

The graphics themselves aren't that much better than the first game, but I do like the detail that the backgrounds have, especially as you go along, and they start changing seasons, from Spring all the way to Winter.

This game has its problems, yes, but even in spite of them, I had fun going through Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, and I wish they made a game like this again, just with stuff like a map and better dialogue, and stuff.

It feels mean to compare this to its predecessor but Virtue's Last Reward just doesn't have the sheer joy and thrill that Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors had. Its lore simultaneously wants to develop and exacerbate the insanity that 999 spent slowly unspooling, but it doesn't want to approach that level of multifaceted storytelling with nearly the same drama or heightened sense of panic. When I learned of a new element within the story, I didn't feel as strong of a sense of bewilderment or clairvoyance-level realization, but rather a sense of mild satisfaction. That's the thing that gets me about this game, I suppose: It works, but it doesn't tug at my emotions as much as 999 did. The chaos is ramped up but it just doesn't feel as urgent or interesting.

The character drama in particular is maybe my biggest gripe with the game overall. Every conversation is considerably longer and more quippy at the cost of information density, there's this sense of irreverence that feels extremely out of place. Of course, you could blame this on the advent of the Danganronpa franchise and its mockery in the face of certain death, but that series has its moments to refrain from indulging in its hypersexuality and humor in service of a bigger idea that climbs towards a hostile thriller screenplay. Additionally, the irreverence is used to help build onto the dread—were it not for Monokuma's complete and utter disregard for his subjects' lives, there'd be less panic among them.

The characters in VLR, on the other hand, are poised to joke and shove corny banter in nearly every conversation given enough time, such that it stands to kill a lot of the intensity that the holistic story builds. I would much rather a short, important conversation than a long one that stands to remove any given amount goodwill I have for the main characters. This lack of brevity is also not helped by the gargantuan amount of time that it takes between various novel segments, showcasing a very annoying dot moving across the map for every single possible migration of the characters. At a certain point in my playthrough, I started scheduling for these intermissions and texting friends over actually trying to remain immersed with a medium that ejected me from immersion to begin with.

That's not to say it's a bad game, far from it—once again in no small part to the thoughtful escape room design employed with a similar (but not exact same) grace as its predecessor. The increase in difficulty is something I rather appreciate, even if it comes at the cost of breaking immersion sometimes. I especially appreciate the safe system, though it has its drawbacks with certain room-end puzzles. The broader story itself, divorced from being attached to the game and the individual writing choices I dislike, is excellent scaffolding around the original lore that 999 set up. It's just a shame that this story had to shake out this way, because as a game it fails to excite me beyond its lore and individual chambers.

EDIT, 23-MARCH-2024:

My neglect to mention the very casual misogyny present in this game is starting to bug me greatly, so allow me to comment on the reality that Sigma and the rest of the characters either are victims or enablers of horrific womanizing. In a shocking departure from 999's relatively minute jokes about sexuality that are unimportant, minor facets of individual characters only appearing once or twice, Virtue's Last Reward takes the bold move to make Sigma a sexual harasser. In every possible route, he is poised to interact with at least one of the female characters with a variety of dehumanizing and, frankly, horrible sex pestery. He even remarks that Clover (who in VLR is small and skinny but an adult) is seemingly jailbait.

Misogynist characters are not inherently detrimental to a story if it is done with the tact and angling that it deserves. I hold the idea that depiction is not necessarily endorsement of the depicted. However, VLR's main character being an incessantly horny poon-hound who can be led to do just about anything with the promise of someone's panties getting stripped off is so irritating after 20 hours of playing the game that it ceases to be worthwhile as a facet of a character worth exploring. There is no benefit to it in this story.

“Yeah I, I hit the bottom. Hit the bottom and escape. Escape.” - Radiohead, (Weird Fishes / Arpeggi, In Rainbows)


Escape, the end, the goal. We all want to escape. We want to escape bad circumstances, we want to escape our past, or maybe we want to escape our fate, escape death. Nine Hours Nine Persons Nine Doors [also known as 999] is about escape. The gameplay, and the narrative are focused on escaping. And despite how focused the game is on escaping, I found myself wanting to do the opposite by the time the final credits wrapped up and the game ended.

999, for those unfamiliar, is a puzzle escape game release originally for the Nintendo DS, and rereleased on various consoles and PC in the years following its original release. The game’s protagonist is a young man by the name of Junpei. Who is kidnapped by a mysterious person known as Zero. From then Junpei awakes upon a cruise liner and is thrusted into the deadly Nonary Game alongside 8 other individuals. All Junpei and the 8 persons are tasked with finding a door with a 9 on it in 9 hours, or else the cruise will sink.

From this point forward your character has to make it through various numbered doors containing puzzle rooms akin to those you’d find on those dingy and grimy iPad escape room games. With each door and character combination you’ll find new information that provides a wider image to what exactly is going on in 999. After entering any combination of doors you’ll find yourself at one of the 6 endings, each with their own significance upon the story of the game.

One of my favorites parts of this game is how each room combination recontextualizes the story and characters for you. With each individual playthrough you’ll find yourself rethinking what what you know and what you learned. You’ll also find yourself rethinking each character, their motives, their words, and their actions. It’s a masterpiece in storytelling by letting the player in on enough information to build suspense, confusion, and excitement. All of it builds up with an absolutely hard-hitting and thought provoking ending which absolutely flips the story on its head and fills in most narrative holes quite perfectly, there’s still stuff I’m realizing about the games story even as I write this. It is one of the most well written insane plots I’ve ever seen in a video game.

It’s not perfect though, there’s one particular big plot thread that had a majorly underwhelming conclusion, I don’t think it’ll be quite a problem the next time I play this game (because I will 100% replay this), but it still slightly irritates me. That being said, a game this narratively dense can’t be perfect in every way, and the overall story is one that doesn’t let you down in the slightest.

I almost forgot to add, but if you look like June dm me. That is all.

I give this game a GIVE ME A P, GIVE ME AN I, GIVE ME A P, GIVE ME AN E. WHAT DOES THAT SPELL?!/10

What a cool fucking game man. I'm just gonna splurt my thoughts out for this review because I literally just finished it, but man I really enjoyed it.

The story was a highlight, it starts slow but once you get to around chapter 4 it really starts going and I was equally engaged in both Kiryu and Majima's stories. Majima's in particular was a real highlight and I loved the way it ended. Loved a lot of the characters, and the ones that I disliked at first I ended up enjoying quite a bit. Kiryu and Majima might be some of my favorite male protagonists in a game. I really love the brand of sensitive masculinity that they portray in this game. They get their strength from protecting the people in their lives that they care about as opposed to just being strong for strength's sake. I love that.

The side content was pretty cool. None of it was too deep on its own, but it was just deep enough for the sheer amount of it in the game to be impressive. The dance mini-game is gas, I would play a full game of that tbh. Then there is Real Estate Royale and the Cabaret Club Mini-game. I wasn't a huge fan of the Real Estate mini-game, it just felt a little too hands-off for me. It was cool seeing the characters from the sub-stories again, but there wasn't much drive to play it outside of it being a passive money-making farm at end-game. The cabaret club is really fun though and the management sim aspect scratched a deep part of my brain lol. I definitely would like to play more stuff like that in the future.

The only thing I really didn't like in this game was the upgrade system for the combat? It kind of felt like the progression was wonky. It felt too expensive to invest in the early game and then by the time I had enough yen to afford it I just kind of maxed out the entire tree? Idk, I would have preferred a normal exp system here, but I get what they were going for thematically. Styles were pretty cool, I felt like I got use out of all of Kiryu's styles except the legend one. That one just felt like a slower version of Brawler. I realize the fighting style is based on how Kiryu plays in the other games, but I just wasn't really using it effectively idk. Majima's styles were even more of a mixed bag especially since I had less upgrade money for him. I didn't use Slugger at all. Thug I found useful during the early and mid-game fights and Breaker was my go-to in crowds. The counter that his legend style has is broken, so I used that for the end-game fights lol.

Anywho, this game fucks and I look forward to playing the original on Ps2 next.

Jet Set Radio is initially a difficult game to evaluate. My thoughts weren't dissimilar to the majority; a game that should be played mostly for the experience, but is largely outclassed by its successor, Jet Set Radio Future. At the surface the game is bogged down by clunky controls and borderline insane difficulty spikes that could make a Disney princess swear like a sailor. I tried the tutorial, of course, after hearing of its infamy and similarly walled on the inability to even do 30 tricks in a row and struggling to grasp the concept of maintaining momentum being so...unintuitive while attempting trick loops. I threw in the towel and started the story, where I grew increasingly frustrated with my inability to not bonk off of every wall and how, at the slightest inconvenience, my character would grind to a halt. Grind City in particular made me reconsider whether I wanted to finish the game at all, at which point all of my forward momentum to actually finishing the game was dashed (much like my attempts to rail grind...) and I was content with the evaluation that the game was just trash when the majority online seemed to agree with the sentiment after a few hours of similar experience.

I slogged through what I had left of Chapter 2 out of sheer spite and decided "maybe it's just this one particular level that blows". After all, the grind rails are way too inconsistent and the verticality is plain frustrating when the camera controls are non-existent and you can't make heads or tails of the level layout.

I couldn't have been more wrong at the time when I inevitably hit the single largest filter in the game, "Fight or Flight".

I don't generally consider myself to be someone who struggles to pick up a game, but in this instance I was nearly finished with the roughly ten hour story and hadn't yet been able to grasp why the game is so beloved. This experience may have shaved a dozen years off my life in just a couple hours of hair-pulling torment.

I threw in the towel and put the game down. I decided to read more online, maybe I was just missing something. It was a review on this site, by the user Drax, that encouraged me to re-evaluate my stance on the game and analyze exactly why I was struggling. After all it wasn't like the controls were necessarily hindering me as much as I wanted to blame them. I took the time to look at things from a different perspective, in the light of a 3D platformer that had a focus on the optimization of movement and time rather than just the free-flowing exploration most skating games ask you to embrace. The game asks you not to understand just how to move faster in the moment - but to totally conquer the map and its possibilities. Things began to fall into place, I already knew the levels I just had to apply that knowledge. Before I knew it I blew through the end of the game and decided I would tackle the infamous tutorial again. I hit a 100 trick loop in just a dozen attempts; suddenly the momentum of jumping from rail to rail was natural. Turns out a dozen hours of practice was maybe necessarily to get a handle on the movement. The very idea of getting Jet rank in every level ceased to be something feasible only to the most absolutely deranged fanboys, and before I realized it I sank another 20 hours in the game to clean up the rest of the achievements.

By this point I realized something I'd consider a fundamental truth of the game; the game's controls aren't bad. Not in the slightest. Unintuitive at first? Sure, but I'd argue the game's controls are simply difficult. They're consistent by all metrics. Even those sudden moments where your character shoots far left for seemingly "no reason" was just the hair difference of the twitch of the thumbstick by accident. Jet Set Radio is not an unfair game, it is just a tough game - and then, after taking the time to know it, one as natural as breathing. Knowledge and muscle memory are extremely valuable, which may not be everyone's cup of tea, but you just gotta learn the exact same way a child learns to skate.

I'm glad I was ultimately able to come to terms with what turned out to be nothing more than a monumental skill issue. Jet Set Radio is a fantastic game, and I had a blast with the strategical aspects and the process of familiarizing myself with each route. The level design is generally fantastic (even Grind City, once you actually learn how to cross the centerpiece of the stage, which the game makes no effort to make you even able to see the jump across the center) and I'm truly glad I gave it a fair shake in the long run, thanks in no small part to the amazing community willing to go to bat for it.

I still absolutely HATE Grind City though and it's not even close, I'm gonna hear the fall damage crunch in my nightmares playing on repeat for years.

Beaten on 8Mhz (in the M88 emulator) as that is what Japanese consumers would have been playing this on at the time of release. Full disclosure, I did use savestates to act as "extra lives" but beat every level normally in one sitting. I'd like to see if I can beat this with "FF" lives at some point but that will wait for a bit. I'm writing this review basically immediately after beating this game at like 5 in the morning

This game is like genuinely one of the worst games I have ever played, but also incredibly fun if you have the mindset for it. It's extremely difficult. It's just absolutely baffling that it exists at all, a weird Super Mario Bros sequel for a couple of two japanese home computers. It even predates the Lost Levels! There's a bit of a misunderstanding about this game online since I think there's a fair amount of people who just assume it's a port, and some who are just aware of some of its surface level stuff (there's stuff based on the arcade games, the scrolling is messed up etc).

The game just feels like complete shit to play. I'm under the suspicion that the PC-88 port was fairly low effort, and it is incredibly aggressive to play. I will not refer to its aesthetics as while they are pretty ugly I don't think it particularly detracts from the game. The game has some fun ideas like introducing enemies from the Arcade games but most of them are just unkillable and painful to deal with. The additional items introduced are also far too sparse and situational.

Mario controls ridiculously terribly in 8mhz mode (which again, is what PC-88 owners would have been using for videogames) and I frankly think it has to be played to be believed. Every single jump in the game becomes a challenge and you have to be incredibly methodical with your movement, while still being fast due to the strict time limits on the stages. This game even frequently makes you do jumps from 1x1 block to 1x1 block, which is incredibly difficult. Making things worse, the game actually slows down if you have a mushroom, since Super Mario is made from two objects, as opposed to small Mario who is just one. As a result of this, a mushroom is vital due to giving you far better reaction times, given how absurdly fast this game is. The amount of blind jumps in this game that are hidden away by screen transitions insane by the way. I mean like actual blind jumps, no hints. There's even a blind jump from a 1x1 block to another! It's ridiculous!

I don't think people are quite aware that this game is just genuinely broken in a lot of ways. One notable example that walled me for months was when a platform refused to spawn in 4-3. I had assumed that I had emulation issues, or maybe even a bad dump, and I had been searching around ages for a solution. I later discovered that you are supposed to collapse a pair of platforms earlier in the level, because there too many platforms in existence. If you do not, that platform, which is vital for progression, does not spawn. It's insane how consistent this is, given that the game has a pretty frequent issue with just not spawning enemies or powerups sometimes.

It's strange because while I do genuinely think this game is completely awful, and blatantly the worst Mario game ever made, I think it must be played to be believed. I had so much fun progressing through this game over a long time with my friends in calls, it was such a spectacle and the game just kept giving in how obscene it was. I hope more people talk about this game because it's genuinely one of the most fascinating things relating to the Mario series, and another example of how strange third party Mario offerings were (perhaps the most interesting, in my opinion).

Side note, do not play this in Retroarch! 4-4 broke for me in it and lead to me having to switch to M88, which worked flawlessly.

This is definitely a flawed NES action game, but it's definitely "one of the classics", and it still holds up despite its design.

I think the main issue is enemy placement. There are points where you're basically required to take a hit going through doors, and others where you just get slammed by enemies who go off-screen. See, enemies stop moving when they are off-screen and only go back into motion when their entire sprite is on screen. Not moving or even being shown based on partial presence may not sound like a big deal but it significantly lowers the reaction time you are given to avoid things, especially if you're not paying a lot of attention to this kind of thing.

Besides that the only major flaws I have for this game are the lack of any sort of progress save and the strangeness of grenades, but I can easily look over those. Modern platforms have save options for Blaster Master and either way, it's easy to blast through the first couple areas in less than half an hour to get to where you were. Also, it's just really fun to play so going through the early segments over and over doesn't bother me.

As an early metroidvania, it can be shakey at times, but this game really maintains the thrill of gaining more abilities and finding new ways to use them in your progression. I really like going back to previous areas to find entry to more areas, but I think a map would have been nice, because it can still be rather easy to get lost.

I highly recommend giving this a shot. I got this one for real cheap (10 bucks) so it's real easy to come buy and well worth the cash.

7/10

Sonic Adventure is frustrating to review because the sonic story itself, what you come here to play, is incredible, yet the quality of the overall package plummets once you complete it and move on to other stories. Tails and Gamma are great gameplay-wise, but Knuckles, Amy, and Big are no fun. Knuckles can be kind of enjoyable at times, but a lot of his stages are not fun, and there are story segments that really drag it down (finding the two stones in the jungle).

The stories themselves can be pretty good. Tails and Gamma have really great character growth, and Amy has one or two great moments. Big is just kinda there, and it's laughable that they really tried to work his story into the others in a way that would make fucking froggy significant to the overall plotline.

It's that interwieving story that really ruins it for me because you spend so much time rewatching scenerios form different perspectives. This can be done well, like how in Tails' story eggman is much more intimidating because of just how frightened of a person Tails can be. Though, that's not really interacted with anywhere else in the other stories. In the other stories, it's just you seeing the same thing over again and fighting the same bosses multiple times (I fucking hate Chaos 3 that water boss sucks it's literally just waiting). I guess part of that problem is that you can't skip cutscenes.

Please play this game but only play the Sonic story because it's an easy 9/10 experience. Dip into the others if you reeeeeeally want, but I don't recommend it unless it's Tails or Gamma. Also, the music in this game is fantastic so listen to that regardless. Sadly, this game is just okay overall.

(and I'm talking about the original Dreamcast version by the way).

6/10

Before I begin, I wanna preface this review by saying that I heard about the issues the remaster of 3 had, namely how it broke quickstep dodging and how certain enemies and bosses can spam dodge to a ridiculous degree, and I decided that I’d rather prioritize enjoying the game rather than judging its vanilla experience. As such, I played through the game with the Quickstep Restoration and Yakuza 3 Rebalanced mods, and my review will be based on my experience of the game with these mods. Yakuza 3, at least with the mods that I used, was a solid albeit kinda slow title. It seems like the franchise went through some growing pains with this entry.

For the story, I actually like the direction it goes in with Kiryu’s character, I just don’t think it was executed particularly well. Everyone dislikes the early chapters and pretty much everything that has to do with the kids in the orphanage. I don’t mind the orphanage stuff from a story perspective, but I definitely feel like the mundane tasks you do for the kids take up way too much of the game’s main narrative. I understand why they chose to go in this direction with Kiryu, and I actually think that it’s a great way to demonstrate his growth and struggles as a character. However, the villains and overall conflict of the plot are pushed to the side as a result, and there’s so many elements of the story that are explained through very long exposition dump sections that are boring to sit through. I don’t think cutting the kids stuff out entirely would’ve been the right decision, I do think it’s very crucial to the heart and soul of the plot, but I do think cutting back on the mundane stuff you do during the main plot so that the villains have more screen time and their backstories aren’t just regulated to long and boring exposition dumps would’ve gone a long way to making this game’s story a lot better.

As for the gameplay, the mods made it feel pretty fun. I enjoyed it quite a bit. The enemies blocked a lot but at least they weren’t just spamming dodge, and I was able to properly quickstep and counter their attacks rather consistently. While combat doesn’t feel as satisfying as the later games in the series, I didn’t really expect it to since this is an older title. Despite that, it’s still fun, and it’s still satisfying (again, at least with these mods) which is what’s most important.

While I’m not typically one to harp on a game’s visuals, Yakuza 3’s character models look very rough. There’s a serious uncanny valley to how most of them look, and they can be very unintentionally hilarious or jarring to look at. It’s understandable because this was an early PS3 title, but it’s still hard to not acknowledge it.

All in all, I think Yakuza 3, at least with the mods I installed, is fine. It doesn’t do too much to impress, but I think it’s still a solid title that’s a lot more laidback in comparison to its predecessors. I can totally understand why people don’t vibe with it, especially if they played it without the mods I played it with. I can definitely see the argument for this being the worst in the series, though.

The funniest thing in Yakuza 3 is that every other Yakuza knows who Kiryu is, they're all familiar with stories of the Dragon of Dojima, yet NONE of them know what he looks like.

At least 20 times throughout the game, this happens:

Goons: "Hey IDIOT what are you doing on our turf?? Don't you know we're in the TOJO CLAN?!?"
Kiryu: "..."
Goons: "GET DEAD, YOU OLD FART"
Kiryu: [Tears their spines out]
Goon boss: "Hey guys sorry I was standing over there for a minute what did I miss- OH HEY Fourth Chairman, how you doing?"
Goons: "WHUUUUHHHHH????"

Yakuza 3 is way better than people make it out to be. It's definitely the weakest of the series that I've played up to this point, but it's not bad by any means. Above all else, I loved those orphans as much as this game loves the word "Aniki".

Also, that ending was severely insane. It felt like they ran out of development budget and reached the end before realizing they hadn't paid off a character who was introduced like 15 gameplay hours earlier, so they gave him a bonkers cutscene. What a ride!

US Saturn Release #007 - Bug!

Played on a real American Sega Saturn with the Fenrir ODE

Bug is kind of a hard game for me to rank because of how your experience can change with practice. I've played Bug a couple times recently, and I've gotten a lot better at the game, so I hardly feel frustrated with it anymore. Then again, that obviously does not remove the terrible level designs and bullshit segments. However even if I'm not getting mad at all, I'm not having lots of fun, either. It's just kind of mediocre when you get good. On the opposite end, it's horribly frustrating when played for the first time.

The most important thing for you to do is to play the Japanese version if you wish to play this game. The japanese version is much better balanced for newcomers, with Bug getting 5 lives on startup, infinite save reloads, more hit points, more checkpoints, and a better camera. That again does not obscure the level design and the terribly maintained difficulty curve, but it makes the whole thing less stressful.

Considering history, I shouldn't be too hard on Bug. This is possibly one of the first 3D platform games, and if not, at least one that came out before Super Mario 64. Standing at 3D platforming's beginnings can be difficult for development since there's not a lot of groundwork laid out for you considering what a 3D platformer should be. The developers make a lot of mistakes on that route but I can commend them for trying and succeeding in some cases. I admit, Worlds 2, 4, and 6 are pretty fun. It feels like the later in the game you get, the better the designers got at making levels (for the most part. World 5 has a lot of really frustrating segments you essentially have to memorize how to do without doing trial and error, draining your lives).

Dip into the first couple worlds on the Japanese version if you have a Fenrir or some other ODE for your Saturn (or if your computer is good enough for full speed Saturn emulation). Otherwise, I do not recommend you play this one.

4/10