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Cyber Speedway
1995
US Saturn Release #014 - Cyber Speedway
Played on a real American Sega Saturn with the Fenrir ODE
It's sad really. Cyber Speedway feels like it's so close to being a really good and worthwhile Saturn title, but it just isn't quite all there.
Cyber Speedway is quite obviously an F-Zero clone. Now, I don't want to say "clone" as if that's immediately a bad thing. If you're making a racing title, F-Zero is not a bad game to ape a bit. It's just kind of a hard game to stand alongside. I think it's mostly a result of boring tracks. Some of the starter courses in standard mode were pretty okay, the first one in particular did a good job of acclimating me to the honestly satisfying boost controls. However as you keep going a lot of the courses go for a rather narrow, claustrophobic approach. F-Zero did this too, but I think that game did it a lot more gracefully, because it felt like that game had more up its sleave for uniquely challenging tracks. Here, it feels like "narrow races" is the only thing that's here for real challenge, so a lot of tracks kinda mesh together in my head into a grey mush of nothingness.
Thankfully, the controls for racing are pretty good. As I mentioned, I do like how boosting works for tighter turns. It all felt natural to work with. Even on the blandest of tracks it's still a little fun to race around. Though, that's about all I can really say for positives.
The presentation in this game is laughably poor. Poor to a point that it doesn't feel like a finished product. Cutscenes are essentially 1 background with 1 poorly drawn character placed on top with maybe some voice changers thrown in for aliens. Thankfully that means the cutscenes can be very funny, but they're also very boring at their worst. Thankfully you can skip all of them if you really want. I did appreciate my helper telling me what engines, brakes, and steering types I could use, but at the same time it feels like directly telling me what to go with was kind of trivializing an interesting system. The customization could have been a lot more fun if I wasn't told exactly what was best.
Lastly and honestly the thing of least note here, I don't really like the music. It just wasn't for me. That's about it.
You can't be hurt by it if you find it out in the wild for cheap, but I really don't recommend looking for this game. It's not anything amazing, just kind of an average title with a couple moments of fun here and there. Sadly easily skippable.
6/10
Played on a real American Sega Saturn with the Fenrir ODE
It's sad really. Cyber Speedway feels like it's so close to being a really good and worthwhile Saturn title, but it just isn't quite all there.
Cyber Speedway is quite obviously an F-Zero clone. Now, I don't want to say "clone" as if that's immediately a bad thing. If you're making a racing title, F-Zero is not a bad game to ape a bit. It's just kind of a hard game to stand alongside. I think it's mostly a result of boring tracks. Some of the starter courses in standard mode were pretty okay, the first one in particular did a good job of acclimating me to the honestly satisfying boost controls. However as you keep going a lot of the courses go for a rather narrow, claustrophobic approach. F-Zero did this too, but I think that game did it a lot more gracefully, because it felt like that game had more up its sleave for uniquely challenging tracks. Here, it feels like "narrow races" is the only thing that's here for real challenge, so a lot of tracks kinda mesh together in my head into a grey mush of nothingness.
Thankfully, the controls for racing are pretty good. As I mentioned, I do like how boosting works for tighter turns. It all felt natural to work with. Even on the blandest of tracks it's still a little fun to race around. Though, that's about all I can really say for positives.
The presentation in this game is laughably poor. Poor to a point that it doesn't feel like a finished product. Cutscenes are essentially 1 background with 1 poorly drawn character placed on top with maybe some voice changers thrown in for aliens. Thankfully that means the cutscenes can be very funny, but they're also very boring at their worst. Thankfully you can skip all of them if you really want. I did appreciate my helper telling me what engines, brakes, and steering types I could use, but at the same time it feels like directly telling me what to go with was kind of trivializing an interesting system. The customization could have been a lot more fun if I wasn't told exactly what was best.
Lastly and honestly the thing of least note here, I don't really like the music. It just wasn't for me. That's about it.
You can't be hurt by it if you find it out in the wild for cheap, but I really don't recommend looking for this game. It's not anything amazing, just kind of an average title with a couple moments of fun here and there. Sadly easily skippable.
6/10
Virtual Hydlide
1995
US Saturn Release #013 - Virtual Hydlide
Played on a real American Sega Saturn with the Fenrir ODE
I played this game for 1 hour, which is definitely longer than anybody should be playing Virtual Hydlide. This game does practically everything wrong when it comes to action RPGs. Firstly, there's a clear over-emphasis on FMVs and digitized sprites which all look horrendous in-game. Second, the game absolutely chugs to a point where it's barely playable in literally every environment. Third, the combat is horrible in every way. It's hard to tell when you're close enough to attack an enemy and because you get put in a lot of tight corridors in the game, rotating yourself to attack your foes ends up getting the camera stuck in awkward positions where you can't quite see what you want to see. Even worse, your rotation speed is insanely slow, so it's easy for enemies to get pot shots at you while you're trying to rotate in the enemies direction. Forth, the controls are pretty awkward. Your player controls moreso like a tank rather than a person, so movement generally sucks. It's very easy to overshoot things both due to running speed and the horrendous framerate.
Evidently, the game runs into an infinite sum of problems that combine just right to make one of the worst playing games I've ever played, certainly the worst game I've played so far on the Saturn.
Onto specifics of my playthrough, I firstly appreciate that there's a unique world generator, but I have to admit it doesn't really matter much. You'll always get a compass pointing you directly to the next item/dungeon, so their locations don't really matter. Speaking of not mattering, I found out later on in my playthrough that you don't have to interact with any of the enemies because you only get points from them.
I stopped playing once I applied a cursed item by accident and it prevented me from putting on the spectacles which are required for the ruins level. Not necessarily a softlock, as I'm pretty sure there's a shop for me to purchase an item to remove the cursed item, but this shouldn't even be a problem in the first place. The idea of not knowing what an item is when you find it and it possibly being a cursed item you can't remove is immensely annoying.
Don't play this game. Just watch the GDQ run and have a laugh that way. Don't actually play it.
2/10
Played on a real American Sega Saturn with the Fenrir ODE
I played this game for 1 hour, which is definitely longer than anybody should be playing Virtual Hydlide. This game does practically everything wrong when it comes to action RPGs. Firstly, there's a clear over-emphasis on FMVs and digitized sprites which all look horrendous in-game. Second, the game absolutely chugs to a point where it's barely playable in literally every environment. Third, the combat is horrible in every way. It's hard to tell when you're close enough to attack an enemy and because you get put in a lot of tight corridors in the game, rotating yourself to attack your foes ends up getting the camera stuck in awkward positions where you can't quite see what you want to see. Even worse, your rotation speed is insanely slow, so it's easy for enemies to get pot shots at you while you're trying to rotate in the enemies direction. Forth, the controls are pretty awkward. Your player controls moreso like a tank rather than a person, so movement generally sucks. It's very easy to overshoot things both due to running speed and the horrendous framerate.
Evidently, the game runs into an infinite sum of problems that combine just right to make one of the worst playing games I've ever played, certainly the worst game I've played so far on the Saturn.
Onto specifics of my playthrough, I firstly appreciate that there's a unique world generator, but I have to admit it doesn't really matter much. You'll always get a compass pointing you directly to the next item/dungeon, so their locations don't really matter. Speaking of not mattering, I found out later on in my playthrough that you don't have to interact with any of the enemies because you only get points from them.
I stopped playing once I applied a cursed item by accident and it prevented me from putting on the spectacles which are required for the ruins level. Not necessarily a softlock, as I'm pretty sure there's a shop for me to purchase an item to remove the cursed item, but this shouldn't even be a problem in the first place. The idea of not knowing what an item is when you find it and it possibly being a cursed item you can't remove is immensely annoying.
Don't play this game. Just watch the GDQ run and have a laugh that way. Don't actually play it.
2/10
US Saturn Release #012 - Minnesota Fats: Pool Legend
Played on a real American Sega Saturn with the Fenrir ODE
There's really not much I can say about this game. It's a pool sim, and a functionally sound one at that. It is by no means graphically or sonically impressive, but I don't know why you'd be looking for something that "proves the Saturn's strength" in a pool simulation.
There's lots of little modes you can try out that are pretty entertaining. I'm not used to playing pool games so I started off just whackin' the ball around in training mode, getting more acclimated to how it all works. Then I jumped into the story mode for a bit until I got stuck on Diamond. I had a tough time with him but it was always pretty fun. It helps that the cutscenes are so bad they're laughably good.
So, throughout my admittedly short trial run, I had a good time. It wasn't anything stellar or mind-blowing, but it clearly wasn't meant to be. It's unimpressive for the Saturn, practically being a genesis game (and this was also dropped on the genesis), but that's not gonna be a deal breaker if the core gameplay has something fun in it. If you run into the opportunity to pick this game up at a low price, I'd go for it. It's sure to give you a good half hour to an hour of good fun, a great Saturn time-killer.
6/10
Played on a real American Sega Saturn with the Fenrir ODE
There's really not much I can say about this game. It's a pool sim, and a functionally sound one at that. It is by no means graphically or sonically impressive, but I don't know why you'd be looking for something that "proves the Saturn's strength" in a pool simulation.
There's lots of little modes you can try out that are pretty entertaining. I'm not used to playing pool games so I started off just whackin' the ball around in training mode, getting more acclimated to how it all works. Then I jumped into the story mode for a bit until I got stuck on Diamond. I had a tough time with him but it was always pretty fun. It helps that the cutscenes are so bad they're laughably good.
So, throughout my admittedly short trial run, I had a good time. It wasn't anything stellar or mind-blowing, but it clearly wasn't meant to be. It's unimpressive for the Saturn, practically being a genesis game (and this was also dropped on the genesis), but that's not gonna be a deal breaker if the core gameplay has something fun in it. If you run into the opportunity to pick this game up at a low price, I'd go for it. It's sure to give you a good half hour to an hour of good fun, a great Saturn time-killer.
6/10
VGM Quiz
2012
I was going to give this 3 and a half stars because while it is fun, it's a bit confusing to use at first and the designs of the site seem outdated, but there's a rabbit dressed as Clover from the hit visual novel Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors so for that reason alone I'm rounding the score to 4 stars.
People say "Separate the art from the artist" but oftentimes, the artist and their sick and twisted perversions are so intertwined with their work that it doesn't even matter, and this is the prime example of that, and even if it weren't, the artist is still bad enough as is without his shit hypothetically not being in the game
Besides all that, this game is just horrible; a shoddily coded, barely optimized mess that doesn't even have its main bulk of the game coded in nor any original character models; and it's been 10 fucking years since the game started development!
Besides all that, this game is just horrible; a shoddily coded, barely optimized mess that doesn't even have its main bulk of the game coded in nor any original character models; and it's been 10 fucking years since the game started development!
Sonic P-06
2019
While I understand the notion that P-06 is "the best Sonic game", I can't agree with it. This is an amazing fan project, and it fixes so many issues with 06, and I'm eager to see what else is in store - the full game isn't ready -, what's here is incredible.
But in my opinion, there are still just some things about 06 that I'm not fully on board with. Namely, I hate the boarding sections of Sonic's levels and the messy mach speed sections.
Let's start with the boarding sections. Plain and simply, these are just unfun to control. It felt like I was either always overshooting where I was trying to go, or it was a fight to turn at all. Jumping is incredibly clunky, and you'd think successfully doing a jump would reap you the rewards, but collecting the ring/life boxes or landing on rails after jump was so inconsistent. Mercifully, there are only two boarding segments of the game; the one in White Acropolis is pretty easy and I feel like doesn't ultimately affect the total score of the level all that much. Crisis City's really sucked though, and was incredibly poor to control.
As for the mach speed sections, I just think these are pretty fundamentally below average. I imagine this fan remake (I haven't played the original) makes these parts much more bearable, but I still can't tell you how many times I was sent careening into an obstacle and lost all my rings, or how many times I would jump a bit too early or too late and, because of how long these jumps are without being able to land early, drop right in front of something I couldn't avoid. You can get a pretty great sense of speed during these, but it's not really worth the trouble. Every mach speed section is the ending to the level its in which is incredibly frustrating. You might be doing pretty good and have a lot of rings, but something unforeseeable makes you lose your rings and suddenly you don't have an S rank anymore.
Those two things only affect Sonic, however, and besides those portions, Sonic's levels are a good time. And Shadow plays pretty much the same except slightly more fun combat, and vehicular combat which was a decent shakeup. Silver had a learning curve, but once I got the hang of him... well, I still preferred the other hedgehogs, but he was fun.
Then there are the friends, most levels have you hop between multiple characters. Tails, Knuckles, Rouge, Omega, Blaze, and Amy. To be honest, I consider all of these characters to be less fun than playing the main three, with the exception of Blaze and Amy. Maybe it's just because they played like Sonic and broke up Silver's levels, but I found those two to be a lot of fun. Hell, Silver's Dusty Desert actually ended up being one of my favorite levels of the game because of Amy's part (which is kind of funny cause that level is pretty infamous in the official game).
Highly recommend trying this one out, whether you hate 06, never tried it, or like it. It's still missing the final story, hub worlds, boss fights, and other ins and outs, but it has the most important parts of the game and the most fun parts.
But in my opinion, there are still just some things about 06 that I'm not fully on board with. Namely, I hate the boarding sections of Sonic's levels and the messy mach speed sections.
Let's start with the boarding sections. Plain and simply, these are just unfun to control. It felt like I was either always overshooting where I was trying to go, or it was a fight to turn at all. Jumping is incredibly clunky, and you'd think successfully doing a jump would reap you the rewards, but collecting the ring/life boxes or landing on rails after jump was so inconsistent. Mercifully, there are only two boarding segments of the game; the one in White Acropolis is pretty easy and I feel like doesn't ultimately affect the total score of the level all that much. Crisis City's really sucked though, and was incredibly poor to control.
As for the mach speed sections, I just think these are pretty fundamentally below average. I imagine this fan remake (I haven't played the original) makes these parts much more bearable, but I still can't tell you how many times I was sent careening into an obstacle and lost all my rings, or how many times I would jump a bit too early or too late and, because of how long these jumps are without being able to land early, drop right in front of something I couldn't avoid. You can get a pretty great sense of speed during these, but it's not really worth the trouble. Every mach speed section is the ending to the level its in which is incredibly frustrating. You might be doing pretty good and have a lot of rings, but something unforeseeable makes you lose your rings and suddenly you don't have an S rank anymore.
Those two things only affect Sonic, however, and besides those portions, Sonic's levels are a good time. And Shadow plays pretty much the same except slightly more fun combat, and vehicular combat which was a decent shakeup. Silver had a learning curve, but once I got the hang of him... well, I still preferred the other hedgehogs, but he was fun.
Then there are the friends, most levels have you hop between multiple characters. Tails, Knuckles, Rouge, Omega, Blaze, and Amy. To be honest, I consider all of these characters to be less fun than playing the main three, with the exception of Blaze and Amy. Maybe it's just because they played like Sonic and broke up Silver's levels, but I found those two to be a lot of fun. Hell, Silver's Dusty Desert actually ended up being one of my favorite levels of the game because of Amy's part (which is kind of funny cause that level is pretty infamous in the official game).
Highly recommend trying this one out, whether you hate 06, never tried it, or like it. It's still missing the final story, hub worlds, boss fights, and other ins and outs, but it has the most important parts of the game and the most fun parts.
Taking any sort of dormant franchise and bringing it back into the “modern” era is always a risky move, no matter what the franchise in question is, but it was clear that Rare was able to pull this off seamlessly with the original Donkey Kong Country for the SNES. Sure, the bosses may have been lacking in plenty of areas, and there is some bullshit to be found when it comes to some of the secrets, but all of that is made up for with the game’s tight platformer, superb gameplay, wonderful gimmicks, impressive graphics for the time, and wonderful music, tying everything up together in one, banana-flavored package that many have enjoyed ever since it had initially released. Not only that, but the game was also extremely successful, selling over 9.3 MILLION copies, so it was clear that both Rare and Nintendo needed to keep this money train rolling with a sequel of some kind. However, this is the part of Rare’s life as a company where they were going to go through a bit of character development: they were sitting on a gold mine with this property, so they couldn’t just hash out something cheap and terrible like they did with Battletoads. They needed to make sure that this game was better than the rest, the true king of the jungle, one that can stand amongst the greatest of the greats, and personally, if you were to ask me, I think they succeeded in doing that and then some with Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest.
While I did get the original DKC as one of the first games on my SNES, and I would go onto playing it a lot because of that, I initially didn’t get DKC2 for quite some time, even though I was well aware of it existing for a while. It was only when another video game convention managed to roll through my town a good couple of years ago that I was able to snag myself a physical copy of the game to try it out, and HOT DAMN, I definitely should’ve hopped on it a lot sooner before then. The original game was already great enough as is, but this game manages to take everything that game did, expand upon it, and improve upon every criticism that I could have with that game, making for what I would say is not only a perfect sequel, but also a masterpiece of the platforming genre.
The story is just that little more complex when compared to the extremely simplistic premise of DKC 1, where while relaxing on the beach, Donkey Kong is suddenly ambushed and kidnapped by a group of Kremlings, who take him to the dastardly Kaptain K. Rool. Shortly after this, he then sends a message to the other Kongs, saying that if they want to ever see DK again, they need to give him the banana hoard that he failed to get from the previous game, which the Kongs refuse to give up, so it is up to Diddy Kong now, alongside his girlfriend Dixie Kong, to travel through the lands of Crocodile Isle, save DK, and defeat Kaptain K. Rool once and for all. It is still a very basic premise, one that decided it wanted to be even more like Mario and involve a kidnapping of some kind, but it is still an effective story, and not gonna lie, having the main character of the previous game be the one that needs rescuing in this is a bit of a nice twist.
The graphics are pretty great, looking on par with the original game in many different aspects, but also expanding on the visuals with much more creative environment, character, enemy and boss designs, with great animations paired right alongside them as well, the music is fantastic once again, having plenty of incredible tracks that range from the menacing and exciting like this one, to the much more calm and serene like this one, all of which are an absolute joy to listen to even after all this time, and the gameplay/control is just as tight, fun, and masterfully put together as last time, not only providing plenty of fun levels and gimmicks for you to mess with ahead, but also plenty of challenges ahead that will make you feel like a true champ for conquering.
The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of either Diddy Kong once again or Dixie Kong, go through many different worlds of varying shape and size, each having a very different, unique theme that makes them stand out from each other, while also not feeling like complete copies of what came before in the previous game, defeat plenty of enemies using various techniques while gathering plenty of different bananas, collectibles, animal buddies, and power-ups along the way to help you out, run into many other members of the Kong family such as Funky Kong, who is STILL the coolest motherfucker on the planet, Wrinkly Kong, the one that reminds you of all the horrible teachers that you had back in school, and Swanky Kong, the one that will prove to you just how much of a dumbass you really are, who will each help you out in their own way (except for Cranky again, who I’m surprised hasn’t dropped dead from a heart attack at this point), and take on plenty of bosses who, unlike the last game, are not only very fun to fight, but also have a level of creativity to them that makes taking them each on feel incredibly fun and rewarding. As any good sequel does, this game takes all the great elements from the previous game and retains all of their great qualities, while expanding on them just enough to make it even better than before, and trust me, back when I first played this a long time ago after only having the original game some time, I was FLOORED by just how massive the jump in quality really was, despite not being all too clear by just looking at it.
For starters, since he is now the damsel in distress of this game, you can’t play as DK anymore, which does kinda suck, but hey, at least you still get to play as Diddy Kong, who still plays just as wonderfully as he did in that original game, being very nimble and quick. Not only that, but we now also have Dixie Kong in the crew, who when you start to play as for the first time, you will decide from there on out to ONLY play as Dixie Kong whenever you get the chance, because she is AWESOME in this game. Not only does she have all the same strengths (and weaknesses) as Diddy Kong, but she can also twirl around in the air with her hair, allowing her to safely glide over plenty of obstacles, which, by default, makes her the better character to play as. It’s just like when you discover how Peach can float in Super Mario Bros. 2: it is just broken enough to where you will stick with it for the whole game, and you will accept no other alternatives……….. except when you are forced to.
The game features just as many different kinds of levels as you would find in the original game, this time featuring plenty of new, creative gimmicks that do make it feel a lot more exciting and fun to play. Of course, at first, you just get your standard kinds of levels, where you just run through, jumping on enemies, collecting things, and watching Diddy perform a rap at the end of the stage, just as a means of getting you back into the groove of things, which it manages to do so very smoothly. This then leads onto the levels then quickly spicing things up, with levels where you will have to change the temperature of the water via some magic seals, making it so that you gotta make a mad dash through before you end up dead, levels where you have to ascend up a pirate ship quickly before the water catches up to you so that the piranhas will eat you, levels where you will have to maneuver on hot air balloons to catch hot steam over molten lava, and even levels where you are riding a roller coaster while being chased by a creepy spector, needing to hit checkmark barrels to open gates to avoid your own ghastly demise. Those are only just SOME of the gimmicks that you will encounter with the levels in this game, and they are much more fun to mess around with this time, making the game feel more like a proper evolution of what came before it other then just a simple retread.
This can also be seen in the game’s difficulty, because this game is HARD AS FUCK, even more so compared to DKC 1. Sure, there are plenty of easy levels that you will run into that will take no time to beat, but even by the second world of the game, you will be running into plenty of tricky platforming challenges, enemies that you can’t take out as easily as you would like to, gimmicks that push you to the limit in many different ways, even forcing you to play as certain animal buddies in some levels, and then you add getting the collectibles on top of that, and that adds a whole nother layer to the difficulty in many different instances. This even extends further beyond what you would expect to see from traditional video game difficulty, which can be seen with the simple aspect of saving the game, where you initially can save the game normally once in each world, but then after that one time, you then have to pay banana coins each time, making it so that you will now focus on collecting these things much more in levels, which can lead to plenty of other roadblocks as well. Hell, if that doesn’t convince you enough, how about the fact that there is an enemy in this game who, if he touches you, can zap away your lives from your life counter until you ultimately have nothing left? That is just one of the many cruel ways that this game can fuck you over if you aren’t ready.
However, with all that being said, the harsh difficulty that the game presents you with is one of the reasons why the game is so fantastic to begin with. It truly feels like you are being presented with a challenge, where the original DKC could be seen as the training grounds for you to get used to how this kind of game works and what it could throw your way, and now this game is the true test of everything you have learned, throwing whatever it can at you to kill you, while also giving you everything that you need to conquer every single challenge you face. It never feels unfair in that regard, which makes playing through these levels much more fun, especially whenever you do eventually succeed in beating some of these challenges, as the wave of satisfaction washes over you, making you feel like you truly have accomplished something here today, and that feeling carries out through most of the game.
But of course, what would a DKC game be without having some sort of collectible, and this game has plenty of them for you to find. There are still the many different bonus areas you can find, each giving you a Kremkoin for beating them, as well as the new DK coins that you can get in each level, which if you get enough of them, you can place yourself amongst the others in the Video Game Heroes Contest, allowing you to beat out Mario, Yoshi, Link, and even non-Nintendo characters like Sonic and Earthworm Jim. It’s a pretty cute easter egg to get, and it does prove once and for all that DKC is better then all of those other games, and you can’t change that fact no matter what you say. That’s not all the reward you can get though, as with the Kremkoins in hand, you can then gain access to the Lost World, a bonus world of the game that houses some of the hardest levels in the entire game, such as one level where you have to complete multiple sections as each of the animal buddies that you found throughout the whole game. Needless to say, these levels are no joke, but again, completing them only adds to the satisfaction you feel throughout, and helps you stand on top as the best Video Game Hero of all time.
Overall, if I haven’t made it clear enough at this point, this is a near-perfect sequel to the original DKC in just about every way, and one of the best games that you could find from the SNES era, not only providing many more fun levels to run through, exciting boss fights, incredible music, and gameplay that is as fresh and tight as ever, but it also provides quite a hefty challenge that feels oh so satisfying to overcome, leading to plenty of neat rewards waiting around the corner. I would absolutely recommend it, not just for those who played and loved the original DKC, but also to anyone in general, because it is just that damn good to where if you haven’t tried it out at least once, then do yourself a favor and load it up, possibly with a friend to join you, and get ready to have a blast. satisfied sigh... man, it felt great to revisit this game again after so long, and it really has me looking forward to what comes next in this series. I mean, come on, how could they possibly screw it up at this point now?............... oh right, with a stupid little fuck named Kiddie Kong, that’s how.
Game #586
While I did get the original DKC as one of the first games on my SNES, and I would go onto playing it a lot because of that, I initially didn’t get DKC2 for quite some time, even though I was well aware of it existing for a while. It was only when another video game convention managed to roll through my town a good couple of years ago that I was able to snag myself a physical copy of the game to try it out, and HOT DAMN, I definitely should’ve hopped on it a lot sooner before then. The original game was already great enough as is, but this game manages to take everything that game did, expand upon it, and improve upon every criticism that I could have with that game, making for what I would say is not only a perfect sequel, but also a masterpiece of the platforming genre.
The story is just that little more complex when compared to the extremely simplistic premise of DKC 1, where while relaxing on the beach, Donkey Kong is suddenly ambushed and kidnapped by a group of Kremlings, who take him to the dastardly Kaptain K. Rool. Shortly after this, he then sends a message to the other Kongs, saying that if they want to ever see DK again, they need to give him the banana hoard that he failed to get from the previous game, which the Kongs refuse to give up, so it is up to Diddy Kong now, alongside his girlfriend Dixie Kong, to travel through the lands of Crocodile Isle, save DK, and defeat Kaptain K. Rool once and for all. It is still a very basic premise, one that decided it wanted to be even more like Mario and involve a kidnapping of some kind, but it is still an effective story, and not gonna lie, having the main character of the previous game be the one that needs rescuing in this is a bit of a nice twist.
The graphics are pretty great, looking on par with the original game in many different aspects, but also expanding on the visuals with much more creative environment, character, enemy and boss designs, with great animations paired right alongside them as well, the music is fantastic once again, having plenty of incredible tracks that range from the menacing and exciting like this one, to the much more calm and serene like this one, all of which are an absolute joy to listen to even after all this time, and the gameplay/control is just as tight, fun, and masterfully put together as last time, not only providing plenty of fun levels and gimmicks for you to mess with ahead, but also plenty of challenges ahead that will make you feel like a true champ for conquering.
The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of either Diddy Kong once again or Dixie Kong, go through many different worlds of varying shape and size, each having a very different, unique theme that makes them stand out from each other, while also not feeling like complete copies of what came before in the previous game, defeat plenty of enemies using various techniques while gathering plenty of different bananas, collectibles, animal buddies, and power-ups along the way to help you out, run into many other members of the Kong family such as Funky Kong, who is STILL the coolest motherfucker on the planet, Wrinkly Kong, the one that reminds you of all the horrible teachers that you had back in school, and Swanky Kong, the one that will prove to you just how much of a dumbass you really are, who will each help you out in their own way (except for Cranky again, who I’m surprised hasn’t dropped dead from a heart attack at this point), and take on plenty of bosses who, unlike the last game, are not only very fun to fight, but also have a level of creativity to them that makes taking them each on feel incredibly fun and rewarding. As any good sequel does, this game takes all the great elements from the previous game and retains all of their great qualities, while expanding on them just enough to make it even better than before, and trust me, back when I first played this a long time ago after only having the original game some time, I was FLOORED by just how massive the jump in quality really was, despite not being all too clear by just looking at it.
For starters, since he is now the damsel in distress of this game, you can’t play as DK anymore, which does kinda suck, but hey, at least you still get to play as Diddy Kong, who still plays just as wonderfully as he did in that original game, being very nimble and quick. Not only that, but we now also have Dixie Kong in the crew, who when you start to play as for the first time, you will decide from there on out to ONLY play as Dixie Kong whenever you get the chance, because she is AWESOME in this game. Not only does she have all the same strengths (and weaknesses) as Diddy Kong, but she can also twirl around in the air with her hair, allowing her to safely glide over plenty of obstacles, which, by default, makes her the better character to play as. It’s just like when you discover how Peach can float in Super Mario Bros. 2: it is just broken enough to where you will stick with it for the whole game, and you will accept no other alternatives……….. except when you are forced to.
The game features just as many different kinds of levels as you would find in the original game, this time featuring plenty of new, creative gimmicks that do make it feel a lot more exciting and fun to play. Of course, at first, you just get your standard kinds of levels, where you just run through, jumping on enemies, collecting things, and watching Diddy perform a rap at the end of the stage, just as a means of getting you back into the groove of things, which it manages to do so very smoothly. This then leads onto the levels then quickly spicing things up, with levels where you will have to change the temperature of the water via some magic seals, making it so that you gotta make a mad dash through before you end up dead, levels where you have to ascend up a pirate ship quickly before the water catches up to you so that the piranhas will eat you, levels where you will have to maneuver on hot air balloons to catch hot steam over molten lava, and even levels where you are riding a roller coaster while being chased by a creepy spector, needing to hit checkmark barrels to open gates to avoid your own ghastly demise. Those are only just SOME of the gimmicks that you will encounter with the levels in this game, and they are much more fun to mess around with this time, making the game feel more like a proper evolution of what came before it other then just a simple retread.
This can also be seen in the game’s difficulty, because this game is HARD AS FUCK, even more so compared to DKC 1. Sure, there are plenty of easy levels that you will run into that will take no time to beat, but even by the second world of the game, you will be running into plenty of tricky platforming challenges, enemies that you can’t take out as easily as you would like to, gimmicks that push you to the limit in many different ways, even forcing you to play as certain animal buddies in some levels, and then you add getting the collectibles on top of that, and that adds a whole nother layer to the difficulty in many different instances. This even extends further beyond what you would expect to see from traditional video game difficulty, which can be seen with the simple aspect of saving the game, where you initially can save the game normally once in each world, but then after that one time, you then have to pay banana coins each time, making it so that you will now focus on collecting these things much more in levels, which can lead to plenty of other roadblocks as well. Hell, if that doesn’t convince you enough, how about the fact that there is an enemy in this game who, if he touches you, can zap away your lives from your life counter until you ultimately have nothing left? That is just one of the many cruel ways that this game can fuck you over if you aren’t ready.
However, with all that being said, the harsh difficulty that the game presents you with is one of the reasons why the game is so fantastic to begin with. It truly feels like you are being presented with a challenge, where the original DKC could be seen as the training grounds for you to get used to how this kind of game works and what it could throw your way, and now this game is the true test of everything you have learned, throwing whatever it can at you to kill you, while also giving you everything that you need to conquer every single challenge you face. It never feels unfair in that regard, which makes playing through these levels much more fun, especially whenever you do eventually succeed in beating some of these challenges, as the wave of satisfaction washes over you, making you feel like you truly have accomplished something here today, and that feeling carries out through most of the game.
But of course, what would a DKC game be without having some sort of collectible, and this game has plenty of them for you to find. There are still the many different bonus areas you can find, each giving you a Kremkoin for beating them, as well as the new DK coins that you can get in each level, which if you get enough of them, you can place yourself amongst the others in the Video Game Heroes Contest, allowing you to beat out Mario, Yoshi, Link, and even non-Nintendo characters like Sonic and Earthworm Jim. It’s a pretty cute easter egg to get, and it does prove once and for all that DKC is better then all of those other games, and you can’t change that fact no matter what you say. That’s not all the reward you can get though, as with the Kremkoins in hand, you can then gain access to the Lost World, a bonus world of the game that houses some of the hardest levels in the entire game, such as one level where you have to complete multiple sections as each of the animal buddies that you found throughout the whole game. Needless to say, these levels are no joke, but again, completing them only adds to the satisfaction you feel throughout, and helps you stand on top as the best Video Game Hero of all time.
Overall, if I haven’t made it clear enough at this point, this is a near-perfect sequel to the original DKC in just about every way, and one of the best games that you could find from the SNES era, not only providing many more fun levels to run through, exciting boss fights, incredible music, and gameplay that is as fresh and tight as ever, but it also provides quite a hefty challenge that feels oh so satisfying to overcome, leading to plenty of neat rewards waiting around the corner. I would absolutely recommend it, not just for those who played and loved the original DKC, but also to anyone in general, because it is just that damn good to where if you haven’t tried it out at least once, then do yourself a favor and load it up, possibly with a friend to join you, and get ready to have a blast. satisfied sigh... man, it felt great to revisit this game again after so long, and it really has me looking forward to what comes next in this series. I mean, come on, how could they possibly screw it up at this point now?............... oh right, with a stupid little fuck named Kiddie Kong, that’s how.
Game #586
Coming from the Danganronpa series I wasn't sure what to expect playing this game but it sure wasn't this. They both might be death games but zero escape has a different approach to the genre. A very interesting puzzle game that captivates you the instant you finish an ending and wants you to keep going for more of the endings for you to slowly find out the reason why junpei and the others are here as you find out how to escape. Learning the backstories of all the characters as you play the different routes you learn the reason why they were chosen for the game as you grow to like them. This game really surprised me as the true ending was definitely something that was different from my expectations. It's a very solid VN that makes me curious to try out the rest of the series one day
This review coming to you from inside the fucking wall of Blue Mountain Zone, which I clipped through several days ago. Please send help! There's something in here with me!!
If there's two things I love in this world, it's kart racers and complaining about Sonic the Hedgehog. You might view that as a problem, but I don't have a friend group that tells me things like "George, you're loved, you don't need to play Dr. Robotnik's Ring Racers." Nope, it's just me and my brain, so with the help of my instructor, Jim Beam, I finally buckled down and spent an hour getting my class Robotnik operating license in Ring Racers' infamously long tutorial.
While the experience of jumping into Ring Racers has been streamlined after the game's first major patch, I would still encourage anyone who wants to pick it up to go through each lesson in the tutorial. Ring Racers is the most technical kart racer I've played in my life, and that might strike you as being a bit funny considering it's essentially Sonic Kart, but keep in mind this was made by Sonic fans, and those people are psychopaths. You'll want to know the ins and outs of your vehicle and what it's capable of before hitting up the Grand Prix, and though I've seen a number of people complain about it, I see the wisdom of blocking off the online mode until you clear the first cup. I can't imagine what it would look like if players skipped the tutorial and jumped headfirst into multiplayer, but I'm gonna guess it'd be a disaster for everyone involved.
I'm confident in that considering half of the single player experience could also be characterized as "a disaster." Managing ring consumption, learning where sneakers spawn to break shortcut barriers, understanding how to maximize your 3rd-tier drift burst, anticipating when you should "hold" your cart rather than drift, figuring out where and when to use your spindash... it's a lot to manage even without all the stage hazards and player-laid traps that are out to straight up kill you. Pico Park is my god damn storming of Normandy, I've seen people lose limbs on the straightaway, and good men stretched to the width of an atom after colliding directly with a Drop Target that bounced them back into the path of a Gardentop careening around the corner at maximum velocity.
Even the pre-race is a nightmare. You don't just line up all nice and neat like in Super Mario Kart, patiently waiting for the green light. You can roam freely so long as you don't cross the starting line, which means you can also bump into other players and force them over the line to penalize them. I said Pico Park was a nightmare, but I didn't even survive the first three seconds of Carnival Night Zone, because everyone kept bumping me into hazards in the pre-race, and when I was sucked into the magnetized tunnel that serves as the track's opening straight, I was flung directly into several hazards that caused my kart to explode. I died and I barely made a single input.
For the last week you could find me hunched over my laptop, drenched with sweat because it's 80 degrees here at night and my computer is overheating, gripping my controller and hissing "fuck you, FUCK YOU," and you might assume I'm not having a good time... but I am. Despite how chaotic and complex and downright vicious this game can be, I'm into it.
Maybe I'm just in the market for the kind of depth and sadism Ring Racers offers, or maybe I've played so many kart racers that the problem I'm having is that they don't have enough esoteric bullshit in them. Mastering Ring Racers' mechanics is satisfying, but understanding how they play off one another achieves an even greater high... I've graduated to a stronger drug. Naturally, courses are constructed around these systems in a way that's both mindful of low- and high-level play, and the loop of replaying tracks and developing better strategies to maximize your ring consumption and attain better clear times feels good, with few exceptions (Balloon Park and Blue Mountain can eat me.)
I really like the visual design of the game, too. The stylized menus, expressive character art, and detailed tracks all lend a high level of production to the game that's genuinely impressive for a fan game born out of a fan game born out of a fan game using the Doom engine. It can be difficult to parse the action sometimes, especially in levels with more unconventional color pallets, but I think the game has a look to it that really makes it stand out while feeling like an authentic progression from Sonic Robo Blast 2's aesthetic. I will add that this is one case where IGDB fucked up by allowing a cleaner thumbnail, though. I prefer the original, which looked like a magazine scan of a grainy off-screen photo taken at a CES. Much more fitting, if you ask me.
Of course, like everyone else, I still have issues with Ring Racers that I think really sour the experience. The pandemonium of the aforementioned pre-race wears out very quickly, with stage outs and starting line penalties becoming more annoying than humorous, especially given how long it can take to recover. There's also a lives system which feels wholly unnecessary when you consider that the capsule minigames that appear every two races could otherwise be used as checkpoints if you don't place high enough in a circuit to advance. The trick system is also interesting in concept but utilized so rarely that I often forgot it was a thing until I needed to exploit it, and I typically found myself fumbling it as a result.
I've said before that Sonic fan games are in something of a golden age, with hobbyist-led projects being of a caliber that genuinely blows me away. Credit where it's due, Sega appears quite comfortable with letting fans create games like this without interference, something I think has helped give the scene space to mature and which has helped to keep Sonic so relevant. Dr. Robotnik's Ring Racers' kinetic gameplay and strong art direction impressed me the moment I saw it, and I think there's a lot of potential in introducing a higher level of technicality to a kart racer, but it does need some adjusting in places and falls a bit short of its promise.
Addendum: Apparently the game also controlled worse pre-patch so I may be benefitting by having waited just a bit to really dive into it. Seems worth mentioning.
If there's two things I love in this world, it's kart racers and complaining about Sonic the Hedgehog. You might view that as a problem, but I don't have a friend group that tells me things like "George, you're loved, you don't need to play Dr. Robotnik's Ring Racers." Nope, it's just me and my brain, so with the help of my instructor, Jim Beam, I finally buckled down and spent an hour getting my class Robotnik operating license in Ring Racers' infamously long tutorial.
While the experience of jumping into Ring Racers has been streamlined after the game's first major patch, I would still encourage anyone who wants to pick it up to go through each lesson in the tutorial. Ring Racers is the most technical kart racer I've played in my life, and that might strike you as being a bit funny considering it's essentially Sonic Kart, but keep in mind this was made by Sonic fans, and those people are psychopaths. You'll want to know the ins and outs of your vehicle and what it's capable of before hitting up the Grand Prix, and though I've seen a number of people complain about it, I see the wisdom of blocking off the online mode until you clear the first cup. I can't imagine what it would look like if players skipped the tutorial and jumped headfirst into multiplayer, but I'm gonna guess it'd be a disaster for everyone involved.
I'm confident in that considering half of the single player experience could also be characterized as "a disaster." Managing ring consumption, learning where sneakers spawn to break shortcut barriers, understanding how to maximize your 3rd-tier drift burst, anticipating when you should "hold" your cart rather than drift, figuring out where and when to use your spindash... it's a lot to manage even without all the stage hazards and player-laid traps that are out to straight up kill you. Pico Park is my god damn storming of Normandy, I've seen people lose limbs on the straightaway, and good men stretched to the width of an atom after colliding directly with a Drop Target that bounced them back into the path of a Gardentop careening around the corner at maximum velocity.
Even the pre-race is a nightmare. You don't just line up all nice and neat like in Super Mario Kart, patiently waiting for the green light. You can roam freely so long as you don't cross the starting line, which means you can also bump into other players and force them over the line to penalize them. I said Pico Park was a nightmare, but I didn't even survive the first three seconds of Carnival Night Zone, because everyone kept bumping me into hazards in the pre-race, and when I was sucked into the magnetized tunnel that serves as the track's opening straight, I was flung directly into several hazards that caused my kart to explode. I died and I barely made a single input.
For the last week you could find me hunched over my laptop, drenched with sweat because it's 80 degrees here at night and my computer is overheating, gripping my controller and hissing "fuck you, FUCK YOU," and you might assume I'm not having a good time... but I am. Despite how chaotic and complex and downright vicious this game can be, I'm into it.
Maybe I'm just in the market for the kind of depth and sadism Ring Racers offers, or maybe I've played so many kart racers that the problem I'm having is that they don't have enough esoteric bullshit in them. Mastering Ring Racers' mechanics is satisfying, but understanding how they play off one another achieves an even greater high... I've graduated to a stronger drug. Naturally, courses are constructed around these systems in a way that's both mindful of low- and high-level play, and the loop of replaying tracks and developing better strategies to maximize your ring consumption and attain better clear times feels good, with few exceptions (Balloon Park and Blue Mountain can eat me.)
I really like the visual design of the game, too. The stylized menus, expressive character art, and detailed tracks all lend a high level of production to the game that's genuinely impressive for a fan game born out of a fan game born out of a fan game using the Doom engine. It can be difficult to parse the action sometimes, especially in levels with more unconventional color pallets, but I think the game has a look to it that really makes it stand out while feeling like an authentic progression from Sonic Robo Blast 2's aesthetic. I will add that this is one case where IGDB fucked up by allowing a cleaner thumbnail, though. I prefer the original, which looked like a magazine scan of a grainy off-screen photo taken at a CES. Much more fitting, if you ask me.
Of course, like everyone else, I still have issues with Ring Racers that I think really sour the experience. The pandemonium of the aforementioned pre-race wears out very quickly, with stage outs and starting line penalties becoming more annoying than humorous, especially given how long it can take to recover. There's also a lives system which feels wholly unnecessary when you consider that the capsule minigames that appear every two races could otherwise be used as checkpoints if you don't place high enough in a circuit to advance. The trick system is also interesting in concept but utilized so rarely that I often forgot it was a thing until I needed to exploit it, and I typically found myself fumbling it as a result.
I've said before that Sonic fan games are in something of a golden age, with hobbyist-led projects being of a caliber that genuinely blows me away. Credit where it's due, Sega appears quite comfortable with letting fans create games like this without interference, something I think has helped give the scene space to mature and which has helped to keep Sonic so relevant. Dr. Robotnik's Ring Racers' kinetic gameplay and strong art direction impressed me the moment I saw it, and I think there's a lot of potential in introducing a higher level of technicality to a kart racer, but it does need some adjusting in places and falls a bit short of its promise.
Addendum: Apparently the game also controlled worse pre-patch so I may be benefitting by having waited just a bit to really dive into it. Seems worth mentioning.
Animal Well
2024
One of the rooms in this game has the shape of a heart and is full of capybaras, and if that doesn’t prove to you that this is the clear GOTY of the year of the decade of forever so far then I don’t know what will.
Despite being a highly anticipated game for me, probably one of this year’s releases that excited me the most this year… I had no fucking clue what Animal Well really was. By that I don’t mean that ‘’I didn’t know what to expect’’, there have been a ton of games I didn’t have expectations of what they would be prior to playing them, but at least I had a small idea what they were about, their mechanics, and overall ideas. But with Animal Well, I had no clue about how it could even play like.
It was supposed to be a Metroidvania? Is it Puzzle-Platformer? Or perhaps an immersive-atmospheric experience? Maybe a highly experimental take on open spaces and secret finding? I didn’t really know before I hit ‘’start game’’ to be honest, and yet, even before that point there was something that called me, that fascinated me. This world of blues and greens seen through the lenses of an old CRTV is an aesthetic I didn’t know I missed this much, or maybe is that it’s done so effectively here; the surround sound and flickering lights that accompany such abandoned yet beautiful looking structures and the nature that melds perfectly with it… I don’t know, it reminisces of feelings and memories I don’t think I can properly put into words, but still filled me with a desire to explore this rabbit hole.
Well, I finally played it, and I have finally found the answer to all of those questions that once plagued me:…
…Yes.
Animal Wells is an experience that feels like it takes inspiration from a million different places and ideas, and yet it molds them together to create something unlike any other game I can think of; is the idea that surrounds the ‘’Metroidvania’’ genre distilled in its purest form, yet it’s far from being simple.
The well is a place of few words; none of the areas have a proper name, there are no NPCs to chat with, and it’s not like the small slime-like creature we play as has a mouth to begin with. The only text present is one found in menus, small one-word prompts, and the name of the items, and that’s more than enough… because the rest speaks for itself. Each area and the animals that live in them chant a different song, each room a part of a puzzle of their own; I didn’t know for them to have a name for places to stand out vividly in my mind, like the Lake of the Cranes, or the Giant Bat’s Cave, or even smaller locations like the Peacock’s Palace or the Disc’s Shrine. The world of Animal Well may be quiet, but everything speaks volumes, like visting an abandoned virtual zoo: every encounter with a new-found critter, whether friendly or aggressive, every new interaction like distracting dogs using the disc, or every major tense moment like running away from the Ghost… Cat? Dog? I actually don’t know which of the two is supposed to be, nor do I need to know that the entire sequence and puzzle is an amazing highlight and super satisfying to overcome completely on your own… No wait, that’s also the rest of the game!
Managing to create a world that feels so well thought-out and designed so every puzzle feels intuitive, while at the same time offering such fun to use and multi-purpose items that can break open the game completely and taking ALL THAT into account is honestly worth getting up and applauding. The Bubble Wand is the clear star of the show for me; being able to create temporary platforms is already a game changer, especially when pairing it with fans and wind currents, but then you realize you can ‘bubble hop’, as I like to call it, by pressing the action and jump button both at the same time and completely bypassing many parts and sections that otherwise would have required other actions, and best thing is that even if it seems that it breaks the game at times, the dev clearly accounted for it since some rooms have passages too thin for you to maneuver or create bubbles or even animals like hummingbirds that immediately pop them once you make one. I normally wouldn’t like when a game makes a tool completely useless for the sake of a puzzle, but in here it makes total sense and balances out the moments were you make out your own path with pre-designed puzzles this amazing, and it’s not like that’s the only tool that lets you get creative anyway.
The moment you get any item, about two seconds is all you need to realize the possibilities it can offer, yet, as in the rest of the caverns, nothing is ever spelled out; you yourself and your own imagination and problem-solving are the ones that need to overcome the challenges this wildlife imposes; I’ve never felt so rewarded in such a long time than when using the Yo-Yo effectively, learning the code to fast travel to the main hub with the animal faces —which remind me of a certain game, I think it starter with ‘’Super’’ and ended with ‘’2’’… can’t put a finger on it tho—, or skipping completely the Ostrich escape sequence and its puzzles, near the bowels of the map, by using the Spring, Yo-Yo and myself. It honestly comes really close to feeling like the levels in Mosa Lina, now that I think about: you have incredibly useful tools that serve a clear purpose, but ones you can also use whichever way you like to, only with the difference that Animal Well is an already built, profoundly engaging and interesting world, and using all this arsenal while interacting with the animal and the curse that seems to affect the well is amazing, and little things like fall or water damage aren’t taken into account to incentivize and reward experimentation even more than it would have otherwise.
If I had to point out a flaw, and one that may honestly be a ‘’only me’’ thing, is the inconsistency with how it handles some switches and shortcuts. While I get and really enjoy some gauntlets of puzzles, he fact some of them reset, like the ‘’On and Off’’ switches, reset every time you teleport or get out of a room, just makes things a tad more annoying, in contrast to how the yellow door switches stay activated even if you don’t press them all or die, which makes other rooms kind of a joke and strips them from the tension found in the boss encounters, for example. I understand that this won’t be that big of a deal for many people, but when the rest of the game is so impeccably designed and each room amounts to so much, these little annoyances are noticeable.
A game that otherwise… I still don’t think I can say I've come close to experiencing all of it. In a way, it’s kinda interesting to have played this so close after beating Fez for the first time, because while both of those games have a similar sense of wonder and are brimming with secrets, that game created its mysteries through the tools you can find within a same room and code-finding through a fragmented world , while Animal Well is an ecosystem on its own, with the complete freedom that entails. Even after finding out what dwelled at the bottom of the well, it's insane how much there’s for me to find, not only the Eggs, but I’m convinced there are things that I haven’t even seen yet, and I know for sure that there are far more items than it seemed at first.
At this point, it shouldn’t be a secret that one of the things I love the most in games, or in any form of art for that matter, is when they give so much food for thought, letting the imagination run wild and feel so massive and grand even if their locations are small; Animal Well is only a 30 MB game, and it’s the perfect representation of all this, the wild desire to explore, to have fun, and to fear the unknown, even when it's scary as all hell.
I’m obsessed with Animal Well, and its ambience, roars, and silence speak to me in a way few games do, and I’m happy to see that’s a sentiment already being shared by so many people.
Despite being a highly anticipated game for me, probably one of this year’s releases that excited me the most this year… I had no fucking clue what Animal Well really was. By that I don’t mean that ‘’I didn’t know what to expect’’, there have been a ton of games I didn’t have expectations of what they would be prior to playing them, but at least I had a small idea what they were about, their mechanics, and overall ideas. But with Animal Well, I had no clue about how it could even play like.
It was supposed to be a Metroidvania? Is it Puzzle-Platformer? Or perhaps an immersive-atmospheric experience? Maybe a highly experimental take on open spaces and secret finding? I didn’t really know before I hit ‘’start game’’ to be honest, and yet, even before that point there was something that called me, that fascinated me. This world of blues and greens seen through the lenses of an old CRTV is an aesthetic I didn’t know I missed this much, or maybe is that it’s done so effectively here; the surround sound and flickering lights that accompany such abandoned yet beautiful looking structures and the nature that melds perfectly with it… I don’t know, it reminisces of feelings and memories I don’t think I can properly put into words, but still filled me with a desire to explore this rabbit hole.
Well, I finally played it, and I have finally found the answer to all of those questions that once plagued me:…
…Yes.
Animal Wells is an experience that feels like it takes inspiration from a million different places and ideas, and yet it molds them together to create something unlike any other game I can think of; is the idea that surrounds the ‘’Metroidvania’’ genre distilled in its purest form, yet it’s far from being simple.
The well is a place of few words; none of the areas have a proper name, there are no NPCs to chat with, and it’s not like the small slime-like creature we play as has a mouth to begin with. The only text present is one found in menus, small one-word prompts, and the name of the items, and that’s more than enough… because the rest speaks for itself. Each area and the animals that live in them chant a different song, each room a part of a puzzle of their own; I didn’t know for them to have a name for places to stand out vividly in my mind, like the Lake of the Cranes, or the Giant Bat’s Cave, or even smaller locations like the Peacock’s Palace or the Disc’s Shrine. The world of Animal Well may be quiet, but everything speaks volumes, like visting an abandoned virtual zoo: every encounter with a new-found critter, whether friendly or aggressive, every new interaction like distracting dogs using the disc, or every major tense moment like running away from the Ghost… Cat? Dog? I actually don’t know which of the two is supposed to be, nor do I need to know that the entire sequence and puzzle is an amazing highlight and super satisfying to overcome completely on your own… No wait, that’s also the rest of the game!
Managing to create a world that feels so well thought-out and designed so every puzzle feels intuitive, while at the same time offering such fun to use and multi-purpose items that can break open the game completely and taking ALL THAT into account is honestly worth getting up and applauding. The Bubble Wand is the clear star of the show for me; being able to create temporary platforms is already a game changer, especially when pairing it with fans and wind currents, but then you realize you can ‘bubble hop’, as I like to call it, by pressing the action and jump button both at the same time and completely bypassing many parts and sections that otherwise would have required other actions, and best thing is that even if it seems that it breaks the game at times, the dev clearly accounted for it since some rooms have passages too thin for you to maneuver or create bubbles or even animals like hummingbirds that immediately pop them once you make one. I normally wouldn’t like when a game makes a tool completely useless for the sake of a puzzle, but in here it makes total sense and balances out the moments were you make out your own path with pre-designed puzzles this amazing, and it’s not like that’s the only tool that lets you get creative anyway.
The moment you get any item, about two seconds is all you need to realize the possibilities it can offer, yet, as in the rest of the caverns, nothing is ever spelled out; you yourself and your own imagination and problem-solving are the ones that need to overcome the challenges this wildlife imposes; I’ve never felt so rewarded in such a long time than when using the Yo-Yo effectively, learning the code to fast travel to the main hub with the animal faces —which remind me of a certain game, I think it starter with ‘’Super’’ and ended with ‘’2’’… can’t put a finger on it tho—, or skipping completely the Ostrich escape sequence and its puzzles, near the bowels of the map, by using the Spring, Yo-Yo and myself. It honestly comes really close to feeling like the levels in Mosa Lina, now that I think about: you have incredibly useful tools that serve a clear purpose, but ones you can also use whichever way you like to, only with the difference that Animal Well is an already built, profoundly engaging and interesting world, and using all this arsenal while interacting with the animal and the curse that seems to affect the well is amazing, and little things like fall or water damage aren’t taken into account to incentivize and reward experimentation even more than it would have otherwise.
If I had to point out a flaw, and one that may honestly be a ‘’only me’’ thing, is the inconsistency with how it handles some switches and shortcuts. While I get and really enjoy some gauntlets of puzzles, he fact some of them reset, like the ‘’On and Off’’ switches, reset every time you teleport or get out of a room, just makes things a tad more annoying, in contrast to how the yellow door switches stay activated even if you don’t press them all or die, which makes other rooms kind of a joke and strips them from the tension found in the boss encounters, for example. I understand that this won’t be that big of a deal for many people, but when the rest of the game is so impeccably designed and each room amounts to so much, these little annoyances are noticeable.
A game that otherwise… I still don’t think I can say I've come close to experiencing all of it. In a way, it’s kinda interesting to have played this so close after beating Fez for the first time, because while both of those games have a similar sense of wonder and are brimming with secrets, that game created its mysteries through the tools you can find within a same room and code-finding through a fragmented world , while Animal Well is an ecosystem on its own, with the complete freedom that entails. Even after finding out what dwelled at the bottom of the well, it's insane how much there’s for me to find, not only the Eggs, but I’m convinced there are things that I haven’t even seen yet, and I know for sure that there are far more items than it seemed at first.
At this point, it shouldn’t be a secret that one of the things I love the most in games, or in any form of art for that matter, is when they give so much food for thought, letting the imagination run wild and feel so massive and grand even if their locations are small; Animal Well is only a 30 MB game, and it’s the perfect representation of all this, the wild desire to explore, to have fun, and to fear the unknown, even when it's scary as all hell.
I’m obsessed with Animal Well, and its ambience, roars, and silence speak to me in a way few games do, and I’m happy to see that’s a sentiment already being shared by so many people.
HarmoKnight
2012
Game Freak? Yeah, I'm a real freak for continuing to dive into GF's non-Pokémon games. Today on the menu is their rhythm-platformer hybrid.
Harmoknight's a simple game: jump over and smack obstacles in your path to the beat of the background music. Er, a little before the beat? This is one of those rhythm games where anything beyond perfect timing counts as a miss, there is no "late" timing. Still, there's an inherent joy to filling out the backing track with a melody created by your own platforming prowess.
As a rhythm game, this game makes some pretty bad missteps. Several songs get reused twice, or even thrice. Most of them share a very similar lietmotif as well. It doesn't matter too much to me personally; A lot of musical platformers reuse their compositions for multiple stages, even the GOATed BIT.TRIP.RUNNER. No, the actual issue is the bosses. Their musical variety is highly limited by being a game of Simon Says, call-and-response. It's a lot of waiting and watching the cinematics, as opposed to the reactive gameplay of the normal platforming stages. Kinda fun the first time, underwhelming on replays. Missing certain actions will also kill you outright instead of just penalizing you, like falling into a pit, or missing the final hit on a boss. Certain levels also just stink. Minecart and Clock Tower stages change tempo on a dime, something you can only work around through raw memorization.
The real star of Harmoknight's character and world design, penned by the one and only James Turner. You may know him as the guy who designed Shadow Lugia, but I'm particularly fond of his work in this game. Musical imagery has been integrated into pretty much anything you can spot: cymbal plants, bongo boars, tambourine spiders, drum springs, ocarina ghosts, and so much more.
I feel like Game Freak has a real tendency to whiff certain aspects when they branch out and experiment, but I hope they never stop trying. They have all the money you could ever dream of from making Pokemon titles, they deserve more opportunities to make more left-field projects. I probably go easier on them than I should, but I like rooting for "small indie studio" Game Freak.
Harmoknight's a simple game: jump over and smack obstacles in your path to the beat of the background music. Er, a little before the beat? This is one of those rhythm games where anything beyond perfect timing counts as a miss, there is no "late" timing. Still, there's an inherent joy to filling out the backing track with a melody created by your own platforming prowess.
As a rhythm game, this game makes some pretty bad missteps. Several songs get reused twice, or even thrice. Most of them share a very similar lietmotif as well. It doesn't matter too much to me personally; A lot of musical platformers reuse their compositions for multiple stages, even the GOATed BIT.TRIP.RUNNER. No, the actual issue is the bosses. Their musical variety is highly limited by being a game of Simon Says, call-and-response. It's a lot of waiting and watching the cinematics, as opposed to the reactive gameplay of the normal platforming stages. Kinda fun the first time, underwhelming on replays. Missing certain actions will also kill you outright instead of just penalizing you, like falling into a pit, or missing the final hit on a boss. Certain levels also just stink. Minecart and Clock Tower stages change tempo on a dime, something you can only work around through raw memorization.
The real star of Harmoknight's character and world design, penned by the one and only James Turner. You may know him as the guy who designed Shadow Lugia, but I'm particularly fond of his work in this game. Musical imagery has been integrated into pretty much anything you can spot: cymbal plants, bongo boars, tambourine spiders, drum springs, ocarina ghosts, and so much more.
I feel like Game Freak has a real tendency to whiff certain aspects when they branch out and experiment, but I hope they never stop trying. They have all the money you could ever dream of from making Pokemon titles, they deserve more opportunities to make more left-field projects. I probably go easier on them than I should, but I like rooting for "small indie studio" Game Freak.
Luigi's Mansion
2001
It's not a meme review this time I swear!!!
I've been wanting to do a full-fledged Luigi's Mansion review for awhile because its a game that has a special place in my heart. Since this will total out to be my 190th review, I figure now would be the perfect time to do so.
One random day in my early childhood not too long after I began playing video games, I was at Target checking out the video games section. Upon doing so, I discovered one particular game that caught my eye, Luigi's Mansion for the Nintendo GameCube. Despite not owning a GameCube or having the cognitive abilty to realize not every single game was on the Ps1, I begged my parents to get me this game. Alas I never did until years later when I began collecting GameCube games. I probably got about halfway finished with the game until I dropped it along with 95% of the other games I owned. Since then I've beaten this game & its 3ds remake about 3 times in total. With every time I finish this game, I grow more fond of the game that was most likely underappreciated during its initial release.
Usually its Mario that gets the spotlight and saves the day, but not this time. Mario got scammed and turned into a painting by King Boo. To help save his brother, Luigi, with the help of a scientist named Professor E.Gadd, ventures into King Boo's mansion. To assist Luigi on his quest to rescue Mario, E.Gadd gives him the Poltergust 3000, a machine that will allow Luigi to do some Ghostbusting.
The game is split into 4 parts consisting of a variety of different portrait ghosts to collect. The first part of the game serves mostly as a tutorial for the remaining 3 parts of Luigi's adventure. During part 1, E.Gadd teaches you how to use the Poltergust and the first few rooms & portrait ghosts serve as a way to getting use to the game's controls & mechanics. Overall, the game feels incredibly well-paced and each part doesn't overstay its welcome.
Atmosphere aside, the gameplay is probably the best part of the game. You explore each room looking carefully for ghosts & money by sucking up everything around you. Once you find a ghost, you need to hit it with your flashlight. If the light connects, it will play a sound that prompts you to suck up the ghost. Sucking them up is pretty much like a game of tug-of-war as you will need to maintain a grip on your controller as the ghost will attempt to escape. It is not only something unique that hasn't really been done before previously, but it also makes the gameplay incredibly addicting. The money hunting isn't super important to the game and you can skip collecting coins if you so choose, but if you want to get a better ending then you will need to collect as much cash possible.
There are really only a couple of minor issues I have with the game overall. The main issue being how frustrating Boo collecting can be sometimes. Thankfully, there are no soft-locks in regards to it, but there will be plenty of times that a Boo will run into a room you can't access if you fail to immediately get it in your Poltergust. You can always go back and get it once you progress further, but it's one of those things that really bothers me during my playthroughs since I tend to struggle with getting them in one try. The only other thing I take issue with is the controls taking a little bit to get used to, but overall its not that big of a deal.
Luigi's Mansion is a game with fun, addicting gameplay, phenomenal atmosphere & aesthetics, and great pacing. It's a one-of-a-kind game that can't be replicated.
I've been wanting to do a full-fledged Luigi's Mansion review for awhile because its a game that has a special place in my heart. Since this will total out to be my 190th review, I figure now would be the perfect time to do so.
One random day in my early childhood not too long after I began playing video games, I was at Target checking out the video games section. Upon doing so, I discovered one particular game that caught my eye, Luigi's Mansion for the Nintendo GameCube. Despite not owning a GameCube or having the cognitive abilty to realize not every single game was on the Ps1, I begged my parents to get me this game. Alas I never did until years later when I began collecting GameCube games. I probably got about halfway finished with the game until I dropped it along with 95% of the other games I owned. Since then I've beaten this game & its 3ds remake about 3 times in total. With every time I finish this game, I grow more fond of the game that was most likely underappreciated during its initial release.
Usually its Mario that gets the spotlight and saves the day, but not this time. Mario got scammed and turned into a painting by King Boo. To help save his brother, Luigi, with the help of a scientist named Professor E.Gadd, ventures into King Boo's mansion. To assist Luigi on his quest to rescue Mario, E.Gadd gives him the Poltergust 3000, a machine that will allow Luigi to do some Ghostbusting.
The game is split into 4 parts consisting of a variety of different portrait ghosts to collect. The first part of the game serves mostly as a tutorial for the remaining 3 parts of Luigi's adventure. During part 1, E.Gadd teaches you how to use the Poltergust and the first few rooms & portrait ghosts serve as a way to getting use to the game's controls & mechanics. Overall, the game feels incredibly well-paced and each part doesn't overstay its welcome.
Atmosphere aside, the gameplay is probably the best part of the game. You explore each room looking carefully for ghosts & money by sucking up everything around you. Once you find a ghost, you need to hit it with your flashlight. If the light connects, it will play a sound that prompts you to suck up the ghost. Sucking them up is pretty much like a game of tug-of-war as you will need to maintain a grip on your controller as the ghost will attempt to escape. It is not only something unique that hasn't really been done before previously, but it also makes the gameplay incredibly addicting. The money hunting isn't super important to the game and you can skip collecting coins if you so choose, but if you want to get a better ending then you will need to collect as much cash possible.
There are really only a couple of minor issues I have with the game overall. The main issue being how frustrating Boo collecting can be sometimes. Thankfully, there are no soft-locks in regards to it, but there will be plenty of times that a Boo will run into a room you can't access if you fail to immediately get it in your Poltergust. You can always go back and get it once you progress further, but it's one of those things that really bothers me during my playthroughs since I tend to struggle with getting them in one try. The only other thing I take issue with is the controls taking a little bit to get used to, but overall its not that big of a deal.
Luigi's Mansion is a game with fun, addicting gameplay, phenomenal atmosphere & aesthetics, and great pacing. It's a one-of-a-kind game that can't be replicated.
HarmoKnight
2012
HarmoKnight is one of the two 3DS games that were developed by Game Freak. It's a rhythm game that meets platforming where you jump and attack enemies to the beat, and it's a unique concept that could've been fleshed out a bit more
You play as Tempo, as he sets off to save Melodia and defeat Gargan and his Nozoid army. The story... exists. It's completely basic, but it does the job when progressing through the game. Along the way, you'll meet a few companions that will help you in certain stages, adding a bit of variety to the gameplay department
The music here is... ok. It's not terrible by any means, but it's pretty average and not all too memorable for a rhythm game. The standout songs from the soundtrack are the five Pokémon songs that are unlockable later on, but they're surprisingly short in length. I also find the timing for some segments to be quite off, and that is no more evident than the clockwork and minecart levels. Not only do I feel like they're kind of off-sync, but they're based on trial and error, leading me to retry several times, and I didn't enjoy my time with these
HarmoKnight is a decent 3DS eShop exclusive game. It has a unique concept with a neat art style that could've used a bit of polish. While I enjoyed my time with the game, I think something like Rhythm Thief (another 3DS rhythm game) is worth more of your time. Sad that this has never been ported outside of the 3DS, but if you have a modded 3DS or Citra, I say check this one out if you're curious about the games Game Freak made outside of Pokémon
You play as Tempo, as he sets off to save Melodia and defeat Gargan and his Nozoid army. The story... exists. It's completely basic, but it does the job when progressing through the game. Along the way, you'll meet a few companions that will help you in certain stages, adding a bit of variety to the gameplay department
The music here is... ok. It's not terrible by any means, but it's pretty average and not all too memorable for a rhythm game. The standout songs from the soundtrack are the five Pokémon songs that are unlockable later on, but they're surprisingly short in length. I also find the timing for some segments to be quite off, and that is no more evident than the clockwork and minecart levels. Not only do I feel like they're kind of off-sync, but they're based on trial and error, leading me to retry several times, and I didn't enjoy my time with these
HarmoKnight is a decent 3DS eShop exclusive game. It has a unique concept with a neat art style that could've used a bit of polish. While I enjoyed my time with the game, I think something like Rhythm Thief (another 3DS rhythm game) is worth more of your time. Sad that this has never been ported outside of the 3DS, but if you have a modded 3DS or Citra, I say check this one out if you're curious about the games Game Freak made outside of Pokémon
HarmoKnight
2012
i am not sure how the events surrounding the proposal, approval and development of this game went. supposedly, story goes, game freak allowed employees to initiate more side projects at the start of the 10s, anything other than pokémon. this shift produced a number of small, cute games that seem to be remembered by no one, relegated to and literally doomed on the 3ds e-shop. one of these projects was developed and directed by james turner, the first ever western pokémon designer at game freak and behind the designs of pokémon such as buzzwole or golurk. soon, shigeru ohmori, game designer at game freak who would later become the director for the 8th and 9th generation of pokémon games, was also brought onto the team. the game was born a platformer, but soon incorporated rhythm game mechanics and eventually became what i just finished playing, harmoknight.
why did i make all this preamble? because the game is legitimately good and it mostly came out of a development team known for making games of dubious quality for the most popular franchise in the world. they managed to create a product with an incredible artstyle (the noizoids are simply spectacular and also shoutout to lyra), a fun gameplay style (which was easily picked up even by an idiot like me who has barely even heard of the concept of 'rhythm'), impressive boss battles (i did let out a little scream when in the final boss stage i reenacted the ending to jojo battle tendency i am not going to lie) and an adequate difficulty curve (game held my hand like a baby just until i became a big boy able to walk on his own two legs). that projects like this can come out of a development team that is often derided, offended even, by critics of pokémon games (category i participate in in the same way a student spontaneously chooses to sit in the last row of class, yes i am there but please pretend i am not even here) is a sad state of affairs. i can feel vital energy pouring out of the screen here. maybe a cry for help? i hate wasted potential, it crushes your spirit. is that why the game is surprisingly mean in some of its parts? i intend that literally. during the beginning parts of the game, you are told that you are no harmoknight, that you are just a kid that has to pass the only weapon of the game, the note staff, to the true heroes of the land of melodia, although in the meantime you proceed to effortlessly beat several stages and a couple of bosses in the process. further, in the little dialogue boxes that come after the end of each stage, the other characters often direct comments to the main character tempo that belittle his efforts. only tempo's trusted buddy tappy seems to be supportive. are the developers trying to elicit some sort of emotional response from the player in order to support tempo and to generate second hand support the development teams efforts? nah. but to be honest there is something stifling creative drive at game freak. and if you want to have a feeling of what that creative drive could potentially be if let a little looser, play harmoknight. it certainly sparked an interest in me over all the other odd side projects developed at game freak.
why did i make all this preamble? because the game is legitimately good and it mostly came out of a development team known for making games of dubious quality for the most popular franchise in the world. they managed to create a product with an incredible artstyle (the noizoids are simply spectacular and also shoutout to lyra), a fun gameplay style (which was easily picked up even by an idiot like me who has barely even heard of the concept of 'rhythm'), impressive boss battles (i did let out a little scream when in the final boss stage i reenacted the ending to jojo battle tendency i am not going to lie) and an adequate difficulty curve (game held my hand like a baby just until i became a big boy able to walk on his own two legs). that projects like this can come out of a development team that is often derided, offended even, by critics of pokémon games (category i participate in in the same way a student spontaneously chooses to sit in the last row of class, yes i am there but please pretend i am not even here) is a sad state of affairs. i can feel vital energy pouring out of the screen here. maybe a cry for help? i hate wasted potential, it crushes your spirit. is that why the game is surprisingly mean in some of its parts? i intend that literally. during the beginning parts of the game, you are told that you are no harmoknight, that you are just a kid that has to pass the only weapon of the game, the note staff, to the true heroes of the land of melodia, although in the meantime you proceed to effortlessly beat several stages and a couple of bosses in the process. further, in the little dialogue boxes that come after the end of each stage, the other characters often direct comments to the main character tempo that belittle his efforts. only tempo's trusted buddy tappy seems to be supportive. are the developers trying to elicit some sort of emotional response from the player in order to support tempo and to generate second hand support the development teams efforts? nah. but to be honest there is something stifling creative drive at game freak. and if you want to have a feeling of what that creative drive could potentially be if let a little looser, play harmoknight. it certainly sparked an interest in me over all the other odd side projects developed at game freak.
ok the one piece fans were right though it literally does get good 27 hours in
seriously a combination of patch 2.2 and improving my skill over the course of the last while has turned this from a game i was really mixed on to a game i can’t put down, it’s a crazy turnaround. i still can’t say my old review was wrong, though. it’s a real criticism that the experience as a beginner is so rough, and while i got stockholmed into sticking with it, i can completely understand why others would just give up after a few cups, ESPECIALLY on earlier versions. if you did, though… maybe try again? special stages are much easier to get into and much fairer, cpu rubber banding is nerfed, slopes don’t drag you down as much without rings, and the weirder challenges are finally starting to get well documented alongside the game itself making them easier to skip.
…balloon park still exists, though, so it’s not all good news. oh well.
seriously a combination of patch 2.2 and improving my skill over the course of the last while has turned this from a game i was really mixed on to a game i can’t put down, it’s a crazy turnaround. i still can’t say my old review was wrong, though. it’s a real criticism that the experience as a beginner is so rough, and while i got stockholmed into sticking with it, i can completely understand why others would just give up after a few cups, ESPECIALLY on earlier versions. if you did, though… maybe try again? special stages are much easier to get into and much fairer, cpu rubber banding is nerfed, slopes don’t drag you down as much without rings, and the weirder challenges are finally starting to get well documented alongside the game itself making them easier to skip.
…balloon park still exists, though, so it’s not all good news. oh well.