(Demo abandoned)

What the fuck are we doing? How the hell did Dark Souls 3 become the template for action games?

"Oh, it's the potential for good levels!" But what would good level design even look like in this context? Dark Souls 1 has a simple combat system that doesn't rely on large open spaces without obstacles. This way the player can be trusted to defend themselves in most terrain, which in turn enables designs like Blighttown, Sen's Fortress, New Londo Ruins, etc. where enemies can meaningfully interact with the level geometry. One can argue how consistently applied or successful this was in practice, but there is a solid design goal there that's still visible even up to Elden Ring (as scattershot as that game is).

As you make combat systems and enemy AI more complex though, generally you'll have to start making the simplifying assumptions of plenty of open space and no blocking terrain, which in turn restricts your level design capabilities. This is fine if you build the game accordingly, i.e. most of the classic linear action games. But Dark Souls 3 likes do not actually seem to be aware of this and so have dragged along huge amounts of bloat sections (Stellar Blade: swimming, keypads, climbing) so they can continue to pretend that the spaces between fights have any relation to the actual mechanics.

Similarly constructed arguments can also be made for the following Souls systems, which I will leave as an exercise to the reader: items, camera, pacing, leveling.

So I guess the whole point of these games is to grit your teeth so that you can experience the combat system? But is the combat really all that interesting? The camera limits how many aggressive enemies you can reasonably handle at once, and not being able to hitstun enemies with normal attacks pushes you into hit and run defensive play, which in turn pushes you to abuse the simplistic, timing-based parrying and iframe systems that all these games are cursed with. Why bother when you can just play Nioh 2, which commits all the soulslike sins above but at least has actually interesting resource management, accessible hitstun, deep weapon movesets, and so on. Why play any of these games at all when you can play Monster Hunter where the defensive, commitment driven style that soulslikes are known for is a hundred times better executed?

This whole subgenre is a complete dead-end design wise and doesn't look to be getting better anytime soon. What a mess.

Had a lot of fun with Stellar Blade and I'm currently going through NG+ for the plat. The game has very clear strengths as well as weaknesses. Overall though I'm pretty surprised by how well made it is.

It goes without saying that the most fun part about Stellar Blade is its combat and while it falls short to something like Sekiro, it is still damn good. You get sick ass moves with Combo Attacks, Beta and Burst skills that will not only make you look cool but also do hella damage. Some of these can even cancel out annoying moves or strings, really useful against bosses. The defensive options like Perfect Parrying and Dodging feel very nice too even though I suck at dodging the yellow attacks. You also get access to follow-up attacks when you land these, making it even more satisfying. Also having a dash that basically teleports you to the enemy is convenient if you wanna close the gap and be aggressive.

The Naytiba's have great looking designs and there's a hefty amount of them so you never really get bored fighting these enemies. Boss fights are solid and I'm glad they were because I got hooked on the demo, fighting the Boss Challenge over and over again. Unfortunately didn't get a no damage run but the Stalker fight gave me hope for what's to come and majority of the bosses in the full game actually did deliver.

Paired with an exceptional soundtrack that could very well be the best one this year, it is a fire recipe they have here. Not a single bad track in the entire game and the list has a ton of range too, keeping it refreshing. It also made exploring so much more enjoyable especially since I was doing all the side content.

Oh yeah, the graphics are good.

And I almost forgot to mention but there wasn't enough sword surfing.. sad!

Now this is where it gets bad because while I really liked doing the side stuff, there are so many things that just drag down the experience. First of all, the fast travel and map. Why is it so annoying to get from Point A to Point B? There's just too many steps and when you have to backtrack constantly like it's a metroidvania or something but then you're also met with multiple loading screens, it's just terrible. You can't fast travel to every camp nor can you open the map and look at a different location, not to mention you only have an actual map for only half of the locations. Another thing I noticed when exploring is that there are lots of spots where it looks like you can make a jump or a climb but you literally can not. Is it designed this way to piss off the player? I don't know.

I haven't gotten to the story and characters yet but simply put, it is bland. The main trio of EVE, Adam and Lily have no synergy at all. I simply didn't care for any of them, or the rest of the cast but I guess at least Lily has some personality. EVE just has cool outfits and a ponytail so long it reaches her heel, so swag!

Despite all of that, majority of my time spent with Stellar Blade was fun and that's what matters the most in my humble opinion. Looking forward to the DLC with the Boss Rush mode so I can attempt some no damage runs. Anyways I'm giving it a 7.5/10.

I know I'm late to the party on this but Sand Land took priority and my consoomer gene took over so that Fallout 4 next gen update replay couldn't be stopped which took WAY longer than I thought.

Stellar Blade was something I had A LOT more interest in after playing the demo as opposed to its marketing campaign, which it desperately needed due to them being allergic to showing any non zoomer style fast paced editing that showed little of its combat of as opposed to the "Hot lady, uncensored outfits" focus but more on that later. I am happy to say the potential I saw in the demo was met, Stellar Blade is a fine action game from start to finish. So much so I am on another playthrough as I write this immediately after beating it which isn't something I do often, to get the final ending for the platinum and the new game plus patch helped in that regard.

The game's story, I'll be honest just seemed to exist in order to have a plot. Even the sense of mystery and intrigue the game had the characters would either immediately hint at its truth or outright say in an uninterested manor but that might just be due to the voice which, at least in english, was middle of the road. I thought Eve's (the player character) voice acting was the best and Adam, the second most prominent character, was the worst. Just the way he said so much came off as disinterested or "Reading the lines right off the page", almost was waiting for him to say the emotional tone all "DISSAPOINTED" style. If the naming of characters wasn't already enough of a giveaway, most should be able to piece it together within a few hours. The music was something I liked a lot more than the story though, as it had that somber singular vocal style I tend to enjoy a lot in games. The comparisons to Nier are not unfounded.

In terms of said action gameplay, Stellar Blade does a lot of things right with a lot of the staples I have come to expect of the genre. You have your perfect parries, perfect dodges, special moves, ranged options, variable combos and a skill tree to unlock and improve abilities all which come together to form a mostly cohesive battle system with only a couple of trip ups mostly due to needing to hold down some buttons immediately after some parries which lead me to use abilities instead. The first thing that got me was its variable combos, now it's nothing new to the genre but I still always enjoy a basic attack that's more than 4 lights and a heavy. Splicing heavy attacks into lights for different combos is nothing new but being able to go from Light>Heavy>Light for a completely different combo on top of the basic Light>Light>Light>Heavy>Heavy allowed the combat to stave off staleness in its first 2/3's. The only thing I wish there was more of in terms of basic combat was some more aerial options as there isn't much of a reason to even try fighting mid jump. Most, not all, of Eve's basic attacks could be dodge or parry canceled and it will be one of your most used mechanics. Parrying and Dodging are not only your main defensive options but they both increase your meters for special moves which as the game progressed I found myself using MUCH more as they outclass your basic damage by a large margin which they should as they use a resource. Every enemy as well as Eve has a "Shield" meter which reduces all incoming damage until it is depleted and then full damage is taken. Being able to get rid of it quickly is the main gameplan which reduces any form of damage while it’s active. However if you learn to parry effectively you can exploit the enemies (including bosses), I actually forget what they call it so let's call it poise, meter which is reduced by one every perfect parry. Once it's depleted you get to do a high damaging execution style attack that will kill most early and mid game enemies instantly, just like stealth attacks. However not all enemies have it though so you'll be brute forcing those enemies who are either lowest level fodder or annoying ranged ones. I'm not much of a parry or dodge centric individual, I'm an unga bunga tank kinda guy, but it was satisfying to perfect dodge a full combo or parry an entire combo into a high damage takedown. That being said, combat in the last leg of the game I felt got WAY too tedious and almost felt like it wanted you to tackle every fight with ability and poise meter depletion which just slowed fights to a crawl. Even with the main weapon leveled to its maximum to what available, even when shields were depleted it felt like chip damage. This is why I found myself spamming abilities more often in the late game which, imo, ruined the combat to some extent. The game also gets points off for introducing insta kills on late game bosses. I don't care if they can be stopped and you can just revive should you have an item, it's cheap. I died on the final boss due to not seeing the white on white target but I had the revive so it's whatever. The game made up those points in other ways such as not having many back to back or one life bar per phase boss fights in general though the boss variety could have used some boosting as you'll fight "same boss but different color/effect" several times if you're doing side content.

The side content in the game is the usual game fair at this point, fetch quests, grab these items, fight this enemy etc. Some of these were tied to character stories and as such were the more unique ones and if you want what easily seems to be the "best/canon" ending you best do them all anyway along with getting as many collectables as you can of which there's A LOT. Honestly I think too many, especially when getting around isn't exactly fast or fun. Hope you like deserts cuz two of the largest explorable ones are just that and I think 25 of my 33 hours was spent in them. Eve does run quite fast but she slows down when an enemy aggros and their fields of vision are far and like 330 degrees I swear. They can't hear you running behind them for a stealth kill but if you're not DIRECTLY behind them then they'll know you're coming. The only other way around is via fast travel points such as your camps, where you will respawn upon death, and phones which you unlock by activating, however you're only able to teleport to camps with phones which still makes some long trips between points of interest. It doesn't help that you cannot set a custom waypoint unless it's on some mission objective or other map poi. At the very least most of the other places you'll go are linear to the point they have no map and varied in terms of environment to even out the double desert debuff. How does this game have more desert than Sand Land, a series ABOUT A DESERT?! Can I also just say that I loved there was a platforming puzzle with the playstation button icons that turned into their colors when jumped on? I sure do hope whoever made the ps5 controller has buttons with no color got fired or they release a one with the correct coloration at some point. Oh yeah there's fishing too, and that was a fun few hours getting them all.

I've seen this game be called "Booty Souls", "Gooner Souls'' and "Horny Souls" but I don't see really see a souls comparison here outside of the fact it has specific respawn points at the camps you need to activate and enemies respawn when you sit at them. Is the game difficult? Not really no, at least on normal cuz yes the game has difficulty options but there's no leveling or stat allocation, only skill points, which imo is the main component of what makes a souls game a souls game outside of difficulty. Make no mistake I did die a few times which were mostly due to fall damage as I was awful at timing the negation or getting hit by one of those long telegraphed attacks you're given all the time in the world to avoid. However rarely did a standard encounter ever make me worry, they were more of a nuisance than anything at best even when it was 4 v 1. It's closer to Sekiro which I also don't consider a souls game for the same level related reason. Main difference between that as well is Eve can take 10 times the amount of hits Sekiro man can since he has the defenses of wet 1 ply toilet paper. I'm sure it's much closer to that bullshit while wearing the skinsuit since it disables the shield. It's such a shame that "pretty lady" is what this game will be known for

I guess it's time to address, or rather dress, Eve. Yes she's conventionally attractive, yes her outfits are cover of vogue style or centerfold levels. I had the ability to play this game both patched and unpatched since I still buy discs and I'll install updates when I deem it necessary. I'll be honest, uncensored or not, I didn't really like most of the outfits and I unlocked most if not all of them from the initial playthrough. NG+ added alt color options for most and one entirely new outfit but my stance didn't change. Once I got the Full Black Dress outfit I exclusively used it on that first playthrough though on NG+ I considered going with the bear suit for some high octane Naughty Bear action. The censoring on the outfits felt kind of lazily implemented and I'm sorry but with the information that's come out what with the devs and the CEO going "Oh I think they look better this way" and "It was our choice", it begs me to ask why even make them revealing in the first place. It was clearly the main marketing tool well before launch and I do not believe no one ever once said "Nah these aren't good, we gotta change them" with how fast it was implemented. Like fucking Sony let this shit on there, those prudes, so it doens't make sense. Now it just makes this dev look like liars. It's also one thing for a Korean dev to not know that the unfortunate placement of "Hard" graffiti next to a neon "R" sign looks like slang for a racial slur, it's another to design multiple revealing outfits. Also you fuckers make Nikke, you don't have any sort of ground to stand on when it comes to outfit and character designs. That being said, there's more you can customize other than Eve's actual outfits. There's glasses and earrings which I didn't touch either of as I'm not really one for jewelry and I didn't like any of the glasses. You can also change the "base hair", I don't know what to call it but it's the head hair that more than just bangs that isn't the ponytail which the latter can be short or long. I made Eve a redhead cuz if anything I'm consistent though it seemed colors were style locked as the one I really wanted to use didn't have red as an option. It was honestly a missed opportunity to not have the title screen Eve reflect your customization. The supporting characters have outfits too but I only found 2 for each and I do not know if there are more.


There's a fun action game here, for the most part. Satisfying combo, parry and dodging along with variable abilities for that extra OOMPH. The combat does get a little dragged out in the back end unfortunately, the story tries to be interesting but is undermined by its predictable nature and varying voice acting. The actual exploration leaves things to be desired but that can be ignored if one so chooses. I would hope someone on the fence about this game who likes action games can look past the sex appeal cuz you have a good time here in that regard.

DISCLAIMER: This is a re-edited review of Stellar Blade. Just telling you now, I'm going to be talking about more about the dark sides of gooner culture than the game itself because Stellar Blade is a lynch pin for things I find fascinating about the internet as it stands in the month of May, 2024.

We been spendin' most our lives living in a gooners paradise.

I am fascinated by Stellar Blade and what this game might mean for the future for video games. It's going to sound like I hate this game, but I don't. I think it's Fine™.

If it wasn't obvious, this game wants to be Nier Automata Souls Asura's Wrath Bayonetta. The intro of the game is VERY similar how Asura's Wrath started just swapped with Korean mobile game models usually reserved for Gacha-pull auto-battlers -- doing orbital drops onto the Earth doing Bayonetta moves before getting torn to pieces like Gears of War characters by Infernal Demons. There are other games you could pull into the conversation that Stellar Blade reminds you of and you'd be on the money. The game is a homunculus of other game ideas. Stellar Blade is just the title that dared to glue every game it worships together like this. It feels like an astounding ripoff with enough effort put in it's distinctions for me to not feel mad about it.

My only two real criticisms that I care about is that the parrying is BAD. DELAYED FRAME WINDOWS FOR PARRYING IS BAD. If you are going to have parrying in your game, and the parry timing is not finely tuned to the animation of an attack, then the game is going to suffer because of it. Lies of P did this shit, too. We are half a decade removed from the release of Sekiro. Make the parry windows make sense.

Secondly, the plot and characters are just so bad that I find it cannot be enjoyed even in an ironic way. This game is so earnest in it's stupidity, turning on my brain to pay attention to the game's narrative actually felt like it was my fault. You play as android woman named EVE and you meet a guy named ADAM and you two are basically the last people on EARTH.
It's not deep. It is in fact stupid as fuck. But, at the end of the day, I like the fact that Stellar Blade THINKS it is deep. But who cares what I think. Thinking is for people who are not edging to Stellar Blade in between unemployment checks. Just shut the fuck up, me. You cuck-pilled kink-shame-maxxing soyboy. I'll kill you.

After the intro, the game settles into being Nier Automata with Souls gameplay. You know what? That mix sounds pretty damn nice. It IS pretty nice sometimes. It needs a lot of fucking work in the plot department. I only care because the game wants you to care about the whole lot of nothing happening 90% of the time. Only one character has an arc worth bring a first-monitor amount of attention to, but that goes nowhere too after faking out the audience that it WILL go somewhere and it's just like what the fuck are we doing, people. What the fuck is this. What and why do you want me to care. I demand someone answer me. And why is everything sticky?

I love the checkpoint system, I really like the PS2/PS3 platformer style exploration of the environments. The hair physics are too much and it actually affects the performance of gameplay, but IT IS fun to have Eve walk under a waterfall and her becoming wet and her hair wrapping itself her body so you look like a bog witch. Very funny. I struggle to talk about the gameplay itself. It's a goddamn Souls game with platforming. You can autofill what to expect from there.

Stellar Blade should be something more aligned with how it paints itself. I waited for something beneath the veneer of this game to make itself known, only to let myself down when it didn't really happen. This shit REALLY ain't that deep. Which is ok, but why go through the effort of pretending? You know? Hello? Are you listening? It still feels like I'm not being heard right now. You know what? Fuck it, whatever. Let's move on.

My real fascination with Stellar Blade is the cultural impact. Sometimes I wonder how detrimental it is being a perpetually online, horny weirdo in the long-term. I genuinely wonder how much have mobile games that inspired the character design of Stellar Blade conditioned porn-addled individuals to latch onto this game like a big-titted, zero personality octopus dragging a victim into the ocean? How much was the sexiness of Eve was factored into the marketing equation as a distraction from Stellar Blade's unpolished elements? It's straight up nefarious how mentally ill Twitter people who want to jerk their dicks off their body and continue to jerk off the flesh mass on the ground until it is giblet paste -- will tie their sexual freedoms to a corporate product. That's just the state of the world I guess.

I don't want to see cultural zeitgeists eventually revert back to prudishness when it comes to sex, but what I see online from those defending Stellar Blade from being seen as anything other than the best game of forever -- is cumming from a place of defense for unapologetic gooner-maxxing instead of objective reverence for the game itself. Eve isn't real (yet). Her pussy isn't going to vacuum your internal organs out of your genitalia (yet). Gooners, please. Divest 10% of the blood of your penises back into your brain. I need you with me, buddy.

On the flip side, seeing a character like Eve on the cover and the game not being a complete waste of time is an unironic step forward for the gaming industry. The cover looks like fucking Onechanbara spin-off. I do believe we are close to a real gooner game with undeniable quality. Stellar Blade is in many aspects SO close to classic status.

Still, the game is good, not incredible. Bayonetta 1 is incredible. Nier Automata is incredible. Those two games are gooner games with brain cells in them. Though the guy who directed Nier Automata is saying that Stellar Blade is better than fucking NIER AUTOMATA.. I don't know if this is a work so Mr. Taro can direct the next game from this studio, which would be hilarious, or if he is at heart just a gooner. Guess we'll see.

Stellar Blade has led me to be fascinated with the "pussy over everything" mindset and how much fetishization will override any objective discussion. Loneliness and desire to quell that loneliness with sex has defined the present and most certainly will define the future. Defending women who are not real in a time where real women don't even secure reproductive rights is fucking hilarious. I know none of you care, I do. I enjoy laughing about the state of affairs because it keeps me from going insane.

So yeah whatever I just know half of you reading are saying "shut the fuck up loser smelly bad gay slur-coded cuck and let me teach my semen a lesson that it should be in a jar and not my body." or even better, the other half going "what are you even talking about" crowd. Because the latter are so pure and don't read up on what goes on in the day-to-day discussions on gaming. You innocent sons of bitches. I really, truly wish I was you. I am a man witnessing madness and devolving affairs and speaking on it and you can just tell me I'm crazy and allow my review to pass over you. The innocence of ignorance. You don't know the gooners will be at your doorstep, soon. They'll come for you and your mom's retirement checks that you use to buy Jujustsu Kaisen figures. Truly, willful centrism is your zion.

My real message here: Jerk your dick to your heart's content, just don't let your jerk bait define you.

Stellar Blade, everyone.

Even as someone who was very excited for the game since the demo dropped, I didn't expect to be THIS in love with the final product. It's genuinely unbelievable that it's Shift Up's first console project. This is a technical marvel packed with eyecandy environments, models and effects that still runs at 60fps the whole time at a 30GB file size. In a lot of ways it feels like the first true 9th generation game I've experienced, and finally not a remake or sequel of anything else. So many moments where I was genuinely blown away by what I was seeing and experiencing, like arriving in the main city for the first time. Still shocking that SIE decided to back this so hard in publishing and promotion as it seems to go against everything the company is about in recent years but it's a move I'm thankful for.

Stellar Blade harks back to the PS2 era, unashamed of being a video game and prioritising gameplay above all else, with a ton of unlockable outfits and new game+ free on day one. Not to say that its design is primitive in any way as it incorporates all the best parts of modern gaming too. Areas are a mix of linear setpiece based levels and more open exploration. I liked how the side missions took you to new locations and had actually great rewards, and in general it's not a ridiculous time sink like a lot of modern games. Combat is an absolute blast, a fusion of other great actions like Sekiro, Bayonetta, even Resident Evil at times. Very reflex heavy swordplay wth a variety of different ranged firearms as well. With the amount of skills and specialized equipment you can collect you'd think it would get too easy after a point, but you will still get put in your place by the brutal boss fights at the end of the story. The grotesque monster designs and the elaborate animations for dismembering them are just on another level, every encounter sticks out in my memory. And I've seen criticism of it but I personally loved the parkour and Uncharted style climbing around the world. I felt like there was such a huge variety to what I was doing for my whole 40 hours played and it was mixing multiple genres I love perfectly. Finally if this game doesn't at least take nominations for best OST of the year it will be an absolute crime because it's constantly hitting your ears with objectively heavenly sounds, the most atmospheric emotional vocal songs seamlessly switching to more intense versions when fighting. Combined with the landscapes and art design you just gotta stop and take it all in sometimes.

This achievement has been overshadowed by some REALLY braindead controversies over the last few months and I've also seen a lot of hate from fans of the other series that clearly inspired it. It's a new IP so harsh critics are to be expected but I look forward to more people warming to it and realizing how it's actually a love letter to those things and an amazing game in its own right, and I hope EVE will be respected one day like Bayonetta, 2B etc have come to be. This singlehandedly made me feel less doomer about the game industry, if we can still get stuff like this every once in a while we may be alright. I will be eagerly awaiting whatever these devs make next on console

I very much enjoyed playing this game. Great combat, great graphics ( I played on balanced ), incredible soundtrack, and found the story to be fine.

Combat is probably what I loved the most in this game, parrying and dodging feels very satisfying, and the final few bosses can genuinely be hard.

Soundtrack is incredible, hanging around the camp and hearing the music just feels very nostalgic for some reason.

I liked the level designs, but felt that it peaked with the first area ( Eidos 7 ). Character designs are great, and I love Eve's outfits.

I played on balanced mode, and while the levels are mostly 60fps, in the main hub and in like two boss areas, the frame drops can be pretty noticeable.

Story is fine, but a bit on the shorter side. Can definitely complete it in about 10-15 hours.

Following Helldivers 2, Stellar Blade marks a streak in Sony published games that actually stand out from all the rest of them. Now how do these two stand out you might ask? My answer would be that they are made by people who are proud to make games.

The most popular PlayStation exclusives since the launch of the PS5 have been The Last of Us Part 2, God of War Ragnarök, and Spider-Man 2. When they want to be a good game they can be good. But there are very frequent moments where they completely take control away from the player and become basically a tv show or something. I’m not talking about cutscenes, I’m talking about those moments where it’s just you following someone for some exposition for like 20 minutes. This shows that many in charge of those game’s development would rather be making something else. That they’re ashamed to be making a game. Shift Up is a team of developers who truly appreciate video games and what they’re meant to be.

Stellar Blade shines brightest with its combat, exploration, soundtrack, and art direction. The high octane burst of energy you get when you charge at an enemy and pelt them with a flurry of attacks is unmatched, while still not feeling overpowered as Eve really is quite the glass cannon. Fights are always a good time. I never really found myself trying to outright avoid a confrontation, they’re that fun.

Exploration harkens back to something like Super Mario Odyssey with it’s open areas, minimal invisible walls, and Eve’s acrobatic skills, but that’s not to say exploring the linear areas is boring, far from it. This game uses the dreaded yellow paint incredibly well by having it grab your attention away from the beaten path and towards something that you may have seen just out of reach along the way. This is probably the best use of yellow paint I’ve seen in any game actually.

The soundtrack is full of incredible tracks that elevate each of their accompanying moments into something truly special and memorable with its combination of synthetic beats and live orchestral performances. It won’t be surprising at all to see this pop up as a lot of people’s best soundtracks at the end of the year.

Now for art direction. This game is fucking gorgeous. Every character model and environment was so beautifully detailed and lush (the final few areas of the game are especially jaw dropping) that it actually blew my mind to see that this game maintain 60fps (aside from a few areas where if you stay for a while it’ll dip to like 40) across gameplay and cutscenes and is only like 30gb big and runs on Unreal engine. Many, MANY developers struggle to make their games under like 80gb on Unreal or anything else really while still looking and performing worse than this game. I really wanna know how Shift Up did it. They might just have optimization skills great enough to rival Nintendo. Also yes Eve is very attractive, but I found my favorite outfits to be the ones that incorporated much more casual clothing. All of them are great, though. Makes me think they got actual fashion designers to work on them.

I gotta agree with the general public here though. The story and characters are the weakest parts, but they still kept things engaging with some great twists and turns. Definitely keep a look out for text logs and all that to get a better understanding and enjoyment out of the story.

Stellar Blade is an absolute triumph of a game. Shift Up clearly shows their inspirations, but they show them with pride and admiration while still making this game wholly unique. This feels like the first true game to make actual use of next generation (we’re almost 4 years in actually. Might as well call it current generation) hardware and is a must play for anyone who is a fan of games being great.

very impressive that a game can try to be ninja gaiden, nier, devil may cry and sekiro all at once, yet still somehow fail to capture the essence of what it aggrandises.

here’s the thing: this is not a real action game, it is a hollow facsimile of one. stellar blade tokenises action game design traits and shoehorns them into a dull modern template until it coalesces into god of war 2018: titty edition. mechanics lack any real depth while combat design is shallow and simplified. why is it combo-based if these are so heavily disincentivised? why are enemies so static, not playing to the strengths of the system? i’m glad they took the ninja gaiden route (e.g. letting you cancel an attack with a block) over sticking to animation priority, but my respect for the combat system mostly ends there. level and encounter design also lack anything beyond perfunctory consideration. enemy configurations often feel like a copy/paste job and never encourage a change in playstyle (e.g. switching between singular enemies/groups) or utilise risk-reward strategies. btw, there are only so many times you can pull the ‘enemy laying in wait behind the door/wall’ bit. if you must, then at least show me some intent, some playfulness. this shit just feels like getting 40 minutes into dead space and realising you’ll be repeating the same boring jump scare for the next twelve hours. bosses are, unsurprisingly, the best part, but sorely lack the dynamism required for what (i think) they were going for. all of these things are literally, categorically, the most important aspects to nail for a successful action game! it speaks volumes that they all feel half baked.

we can only assume that, at some point, an active decision was made to focus on adding AAA bloat instead of further developing and refining these most crucial design aspects. had shift up not been so enamoured with sonymaxxing every aspect of their game, we could have seen something legitimately interesting. instead we have a bird’s nest of disparate influences, filtered through the money-making machine until a big grey bowl of no-identity slop comes out the other end. who would’ve thought!

Having now beat it twice, I feel pretty conflicted on this game. The combat and bosses can be really awesome when they get a chance to shine. The music has clear inspirations but is beautiful all the same. However, most of the story has no heart, the writing is terrible, the side missions are almost exclusively mid, and the art direction has no cohesion.
The only thing more stale than most of this game is the conversation surrounding it. But when the game has as hype as a final few hours as it does, its hard to not be excited for a possible sequel

Stellar Blade is a game that knows exactly what it wants to be, even if it isn't the greatest on all fronts. While the combat and soundtrack are clear standouts, the story leaves a bit to be desired. Apart from these obvious points, I think there's more reason to speak positively about the game as a whole than there is to linger on the negatives.

Let's start with the great things about SB. The combat is exceptional. C'mon, there's a parry; of course it's a 10/10. You have this option to use burst and beta abilities while fighting, and while those abilities are fun and flashy, the game allows you to take a more “pure” approach. If you want, you can zero in on using parries to beat your opponent to the point of using a Retribution attack. Most people will be familiar with a critical attack after breaking posture, but there's something so satisfying about draining such long posture bars in Stellar Blade. Each strike of your sword or spark of your abilities is a beautiful light show as well. It's very much a rhythm game that will leave you in its dust if you can't match it in time. I found myself getting 1 or 2 shot by plenty of enemies when I missed an important parry or dodge.

Overall, the game's visual aesthetic isn't something I'm mad about. Some cyberpunk-style designs feel a bit uninspired, but the world is highly detailed and wonderful to look at. It feels like one of those titles that was meant to be on the PS5. I really loved when the camera work would turn super dynamic in the cinematics. I think all the boss fight executions were brilliant. I also loved alot of the Naytiba designs. They take inspiration from many forms of life and almost always provide some sort of nightmare fuel, which I love. One small bit about them that I adored was the flourishes on the boss type Naytibas. It gives a stylized look to them and gives them a sense of grace that contrasts their violent existence. I think the MAIN character design in general is a standout in this game. Many of those main characters are so much fun to look at. There are always standouts in games that have mixes of organic and mechanical. The freedom that allows is something I'm sure character designers love.

Shoutout to the costume designers for EVE. Every time I thought they were at their limit, I got a new one and GYATTTTTT. I'm not too high and mighty to acknowledge the fan service of this game. You caught me. I enjoyed it. Pretty sure the devs made her ass bigger when she's wearing certain outfits too. Yoko Taro would be proud and disgusted, I'm sure.

Now, the music. Holy shit, these are some FF16 type tracks. I won't name some bosses, but Belial and Karakuri were just exceptional standouts to me. Don't even get me started on Democrawler. Breathtakingly incredible. We get such a beautiful blend of instruments and musical mediums throughout this whole game. It's hard to focus during some fights, and I think the camp's theme will be burned into my eardrums for awhile. Overall, I'm so impressed with soundtracks like this. I can't see anything topping these tracks this year, but I'd love to hear someone try.

Shoutout to the final boss theme being a rendition of the main theme. We LOVE that shit around here.

The story and characters just fell a bit flat to me. I didn't feel much chemistry between EVE and her companions. Some characters seemed like they knew they were NPCs and took that assignment seriously. I felt like many emotions weren't there when they needed to be. I wanted to like the story more, but I saw the ending coming from a mile away. The only reason it isn't more of a knock for me, personally, is because there were a few nice twists in the lore that I enjoyed. It isn't horrible, and maybe I'm judging it too harshly, but it was by no means cinema.

Overall, I think this game is very much worth playing, even if for the combat alone. There are plenty of side quests and the platinum trophy is there for the taking. Another wonderful example of a game I saw the first teaser for ages ago, hyped up, and then happily received it when it finally released. That's a breath of fresh air anytime it happens.

By the way, are the incels still mad at this game? They said it got censored?? I can't imagine seeing the fan service of this game and thinking it isn't “good enough.” Imagine using your limited time on this beautiful Earth like that when you could literally load up Stellar Blade, play as a beautiful android woman, and SAVE Earth instead.

It’s really a shame that reactions to Stellar Blade are more focused on the fanservice or the coomer reactions. You got one group of people who just focus on the fanservice and hail the game to be the savior of sexualized women in gaming, and then you got the other group who view the game in a negative light because of the first group. And you know what? I can’t even blame them because the first group is really insufferable.

I don't care in the slightest about Stellar Blade having a "sexy" protagonist. I saw a trailer for it once and was immediately interested, because of how fun and unique it looked.

But coomers saw the female Protagonist’s butt and were obnoxious about it ever since. Like come on, it’s bottom of the barrel fanservice you’re going all crazy for. Literally everything I've seen about this game online is people with underaged anime character avatars cream their pants over how this game is "destroying wokeness" or whatever. Nothing against Eve, because she is really pretty and I actually really like her, but she looks like every female character in every korean MMO ever made. It's like people going to war over white bread. Apparently, these guys are now whining about censorship, signing petitions, and making videos of themselves (they look about as you'd expect) about why their cause matters lmao. These pathetic gamerbros will never not be incredibly annoying and cringe to me.

Because Stellar Blade is just so much more. Picture all those apocalyptic gachas and their really great world-building, fantastic atmosphere but really cheap and dull (chibi) gameplay, then amp it up to AAA levels – that's the magic of Stellar Blade.

The environments are beautifully crafted and the atmospheric soundtrack is another aspect I deeply appreciate and thoroughly enjoyed in this game. There's nothing quite like losing yourself in a captivating melody as you journey through vast, lonely landscapes and cities. Just like Nier, Stellar Blade really nailed its soundtrack.

The gameplay is just so much fun and showcases an exceptional level of refinement and polish. Every movement, dodge and parry hit the mark perfectly. The more skills you unlock, the cooler and more fun the combat gets. There's never a dull moment - the gameplay remains consistently exciting and stylish from start to finish.

I found the plot to be really intriguing, and I really enjoyed uncovering plenty of secrets and snippets of lore. But what really surprised me were the sidequests. Sure, some were usual filler content, but most served to make the world feel alive and deepened the lore. Completing them was enjoyable, they never felt like a chore. So good job there.

Oh, and I'm pleasantly surprised by Eve! Initially, I expected her to be the typical "waifu" (ugh, I hate that word), merely there for visual appeal with little personality beyond conforming to generic “anime girl” tropes. Most of these tropes revolve around being “innocent”, "naive" or a "sweet flower girl." But Eve defies those expectations, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Even though Stellar Blade took huge inspiration from Nier and other apocalyptic gacha games, it's still an extremely unique and fun game that everyone should give a chance. Don't listen to the manchildren throwing tantrums or all the buzz about the “fanservice," which is honestly vastly overexaggerated due to some optional skins. Honestly, aside from the optional skins, there are absolutely no horny aspects present in the game.

There are just so many little touches to the point where you can tell the developers really cared about making this game great, and they succeeded. Stellar Blade is simply a beautiful game.

Stellar Blade is a game that has already caused a lot of conversation way before it's release. Mostly because the main character Eve is smoking hot. I won't look into this whole so called "controversy" any further because it was just stupid. A main character looking good is no valid reason against a game because it's nothing abnormal. Anyway what happened after that is quite interesting. The game started selling really well during it's pre-order phase even without people knowing what the gameplay would consist of. It was the best-selling game in the PSN store and other platforms like Amazon in many countries, even before Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. Of course now you could say sex sells and everyone is just horny, I do agree but Stellar Blade sold even better when Shift Up released a playable demo that showed that the gameplay is also really fantastic. This leads me to the next question, who even is Shift Up. They are a rather small studio which has only released a few mobile games. So this makes Stellar Blade their first big game and that makes the game even more impressive.
The gameplay is a mix between Nier Automata and Devil May Cry with a few soulslike elements sprinkled in. Like the camps which are similar to the bonfire mechanic and that enemies are respawning when you rested at these camps. Let me calm you down before some people now might not want to play it because they think that the games is too hard or because they don't like soulslike games. Stellar Blade is not a soulslike game, yes it has a few elements but it's not overly difficult. You can also always change the difficulty without any consequences. So rest assured you can still buy the game even if you don't like soulslike games.

One of the biggest strength is the combat, it's just fantastic, feels really good and it makes so much fun fighting Naytibas. The design from all of the enemies which you encounter are very unique. There is a vast variety of Naytibas, 67 different variations to be precise and all of them have different abilities and a unique design. This resulted in me always being excited when I encountered a new type of Naytiba. There is also the same variety for outfits 30 outfits and other cosmetics that you can collect. I'm glad that this game was published by Sony and not EA or Ubisoft which means that the outfits aren't tied to grind or money. Besides fighting enemies there are also a few mini games like fishing and sometimes the game shifts to a jump and run or a shooter like in the levoire segments where you can only use your gun, I really liked that gameplay is so varied. The problem is that the controls for the jump and run segments are too sensitive or Eve simply glitches through ladders or ropes when you try to jump on them. Fighting groups of enemies can also be quite a hassle because the combat is more 1v1 focused. The story is good, nothing special but I enjoyed the lore surrounding the Naytibas and Andro-Eidos. Sadly the bulletin board quests are mostly fetch quest and not that interesting. The best side quests are the ones from Enya and Kaya which were both really emotional.
The story really picks up in the finale segments and the game asks some interesting philosophical questions like what does it mean to be a human. My favorite character by far is Lily as you can see by my profile picture. She's so cute and must be protected at all costs. Eve is also great, of course I appreciate the eye candy but I like her dynamic with Lily and I enjoyed their scenes together. The fish out of water part from both characters was also kinda cute. Eve also gets most of the character development in the last third of the game. Small details like character dialogues that changes depending on what you are doing. Like for example when Adam said "don't look down", of course I looked down and Adam reacted to that and said something like "oh come on", which was a cool detail. I also recommend you to use the Korean dubbing because from what I've experienced it's the best version.
Stellar Blade has a incredible set pieces and a beautiful soundtrack which underlines the impeccable combat and thanks to a vast variety of different enemies the game never gets boring. Lily and Eve are fantastic characters, Adam is alright but he serves more as a plot device and the resolution of some of the textures in the desert is a bit low but that doesn't hurt the game much.

As a first game it's really impressive what Shift Up managed to create and what happens it the last segment of the game makes me really excited for the future. This is already one of the best games this year and deserves every praise it gets. I suffer under post game depression so I will start a NG+ run now while I patiently wait for a photomode( Yes I have way too many screenshots don't judge me) and DLC in which I can play as Lily.

Games I finished in 2024 Ranked

Platinum trophies exhibition

My physical collection

-not a game for coomers and gooners as many have said !!! fr though i have seen lots of both pos and neg attention being given to this game in that regard and in a way i do absolutely understand the negative reaction to it. however idk it’s all mostly in the background and in the advertising,, i think my politics and opinions on womens bodies and issues tend to lean more radfem than anything else (tho not in a scary or bad way bc like lmfao look at the site im on yk) and i dont have much to say about the treatment of women in this game. obv it’s shitty that in 2024 a game that’s more than a one handed type of thing has to be sold as such but that’s more to do w where we’re at a society and culture lol the word society being said earnestly. but this is not a game that’s turning any straight man into anything he’s not already + the game never treats womens bodies as commodities or objects but obv straight men will see it as such. the story never treats womens pain in a overtly sexual way and while theres def weirdo type men that’ll see women being violent and having violence done onto them and be gross about it, the narrative of the game and the framing of bodies in these scenes is never truly gross or objectifying. idk idk TnA exists and it’s a fact and not necessarily smth that’s bad it just usually leads or ties into smth kind of gross and shitty but personally I don’t think so here.
-which is to say i like both the design and characterization of eve!! she’s cute and strong but still obviously can fail and let ppl down and that’s not an especially riveting or new concept but it’s nice ig. love a good dress up sim lol. thought the characters of lily and adam were like genuinely pretty poorly written and consistently boring,, kind of bad designs too. idk idk im not uhh fourteen so marvel type quips rlly do nothing for me but rlly thought all the other npc’s were v charming and lively and well rounded
-tbh it’s okay that the actual dialogue is pretty bad bc i dont gaf about dialogue but i do care lots about like world building and lore and especially vibes and feelings and w all of that the game excels sm. u can feel how real the games world feels and how each individual place in game has a reason for being and it’s own sad shared history w the ppl in these places. very much so fucking w like how hard games in the last decade lean into overgrown mall abandoned core pinterest image search type aesthetic. shit looks lovely and almost always gets across this nice nihilistic and melancholic worldview that maybe I don’t one hundred percent fuck w irl but do in stories about the end of the world.
-been watching lots of anyaustin as of late and find his thorough searching of game worlds and lesser explored areas of those worlds endlessly fascinating!! this game is like full of unexplored and uninteresting areas. every inch of the world of the game exists as a simulacrum of a real worlds pain and sorrow and regret. everything looks purposeful but also painfully real,, places left in a hurry due to a panic, stores shuttered and places of living abandoned but still furnished. every new area tells a story visually and doesn’t need to or care to explain it to u. <3 seeing a game so thoroughly committed to being realistic in some way break apart in small ways under close examination. lots of smart ppl have said it in more intelligent ways but yeah it is very pleasing to see textureless and flat rocks ur not supposed to jump on or even rlly see off of or above these highly detailed and sort of realistic looking cliffsides. it’s nice to see the bones of a game and the real life work spent on creating them inside the game itself. love how goofy the blood will sometimes look and how shii just clips sometimes.
-don’t usually gaf to do side quests in open world/open world adjacent games but idk feel like I did a vast majority of them here. like 75% or so and not everything has the strongest writing but all the side characters/quest givers do feel like real ppl w issues and problems that u can choose to fix. very rarely is the reward needed or worth it but idk think the places u visit and stories u piece together by doing a bunch of the side stuff is def worth it for ppl that enjoy exploring in games like this. u open urself up to see more unexplored areas by doing all this random content.
-crazy how each new area looks so visually distinct and diff from each other. for a game that very rarely changes up type of gameplay I never felt bored or like I saw everything I needed to see,, always felt like there was something more yet to be seen. don’t even gaf that it’s clear that part of the visual identity for levels in this game are heavily inspired by the resident evil remakes and the avatar films bc what the game does w those areas looks rlly good. there’s also all these beautiful slow moments where ur just meant to chill in the games environments and take it all in and stop the bloodshed and action for a sec and appreciate the art of every abandoned building or the backgrounds of shops or whatever. to me the best and most remarkable and memorable moments are when the game takes itself very slow and just wants to invest and immerse urself in what the game is doing.
-most side quests narratively are about finding some sort of closure. it’s a bleak world and most side content begins w suspicion of death and ends w confirmation of a death. ur usually tasked w either finding out what happened to ppls loved ones or finding a keepsake belonging to the loved one. it’s incredibly repetitious but i still found myself consistently doing these types of quests bc i wanted to see a good ending for these npcs and i think that says sm about how excellent the world building is and how real some of the stories feel. I loved these stories of false hope and delusions that these characters needed to rely on to simply keep surviving in this world.

Alright, strap in. I have a lot to say.

Let's get the elephant out of the room before I actually talk about this game. I am going to bring up issues I have with the game's art direction later on but none of that has to do with how sexualized the character designs are. I am fine with all of those other characters you want to use as a counterargument. That is not the core of my issue with this game, but before I get into that, I'll talk about what I DO like because I do still like this game.

I think on a graphical level, the game looks amazing. It runs consistently well and has been thoroughly play-tested which I shouldn't have to appreciate, but most great games usually have at least some small level of bugginess that this game does not have. Additionally, on this aesthetic front, I love the game's soundtrack, probably one of the year's standouts alongside Rebirth and Prince of Persia. I also think the linear and open-world missions in the game are, for the most part, quite fun! There are some survival horror-type missions that I found particularly memorable, even if they clash really hard with the rest of the game, but we're not there yet!

But the place where I have the hugest amount of praise for this game is its combat and enemy encounters. I'm gonna talk more about the game's "identity" later but this is where Stellar Blade's identity is strongest as it can't really be put in any camp for these 3D hack-and-slash games. It's not slow-paced and deliberate like a souls-like, but it's not super quick and combo-heavy like a DMC or a Bayonetta. The combat feels like a good mix of light comboing, really nice feeling parries, strong finishers, and a good amount of diversity in the way that you can approach combat. The enemies and bosses are also very well-designed and super difficult. The game shines brightest when focused on its great combat and there is a sequence near the end that works well for this game. It's great!

The game for the most part is really fun, super polished, and not particularly painful to go through. If someone might not have some of the same issues I do later on in this review, then I can see someone loving this game to pieces. But.. I have some SERIOUS issues with this game.

Starting off is the one that everyone, even the people who like the game is bringing up. On a narrative front, Stellar Blade is an absolute mess. The game's script is written so awkwardly, almost like it was machine-translated rather than actually localized. The dialogue is super awkwardly written and some moments in the side missions just feel kind of... embarrassing? The story setup is mildly interesting (until you notice something I'll bring up later), but the story's themes are barely explored apart from naming conventions and a couple of moments at the beginning and end.

The narrative didn't even need to be particularly deep or anything. Bayonetta and DMC games don't have deep stories, but A, they're not really trying to, and B, they do have a memorable cast with personalities at least. When I heard from reviews that Stellar Blade's cast isn't the strongest out there, what I DIDN'T expect to find was the most emotionless and barebones main character this side of The Callisto Protocol.

Eve is such a remarkably bland character, lacking a single actual personality trait. They try to develop Eve in a couple of ways regarding her ambiguous relationship with Tachy, who is also boring and has no character and then dies. They do a scene with this relationship in particular near the end of the game and it just felt so stilted and not super earned. But surely the other characters are better, right? I mean... I guess so? Lily at least has.. a personality and Adam, as boring as he is, at least has some interesting things happen with them later on, but the character writing is so incredibly weak in this game and the voice acting, both in Korean and English only makes it worse.

Okay, so that's the narrative stuff out of the way, what's that other major problem I have with the game that I've been edging you out of? This game does not have a fucking identity. I've been trying my best to hold back on comparing this game to NieR Automata up to this point, because I wanted to judge this game on its own, but it's so blatantly apparent just HOW MUCH of this game was derived from it. You play as a sexy android lady from a space base and are sent down to get rid of all of the bad guys that took over the Earth. You run around a semi-open world with a little drone that follows you around everywhere and talks to you. The game goes into detail on who the guys you are fighting and who you're working for REALLY ARE and there are themes of Identity and Religion and Life. The main character is very stoic and emotionless, but unlike 2B, here it's because they aren't written to have one. Hell, there are characters named Adam and Eve IN NIER AUTOMATA.

I know this all seems super surface level, but these comparisons wouldn't be such a huge problem if they had a super strong identity on their own and it really REALLY doesn't. The most distinctive thing about this game is that you're fighting Semi-religious gross penis monsters called Naytiba instead of robots. But that feels more like it clashes with the game's sci-fi aesthetic more than anything. Speaking of clashing, the character designs don't even really feel like they belong in the same game, most notably when you compare Eve, Lily, and Adam's designs. And they are the main 3 characters of the whole game. And most of the side characters don't even have faces, which is super weird? Why does the hairdresser have no hair? What are we doing here?

This also extends to the locations, Xion just feels like a pretty generic post-apocalyptic world. Half the time, in these linear missions, you fight in ruined cities and sewers and the two semi-open world areas you get are both bare empty deserts. I know asking for visual variety in a post-apocalyptic game is asking the wrong questions, but maybe have at least one of the open-world areas not be a desert??

All of these things combined, the art style clash between the different characters, friend, and foe, in this game, the super generic areas, the basic and derivative story, the lack of any characters with more than one personality trait, and the themes it doesn't touch on very much at all, leads to a game that doesn't really have an identity of its own. Hell, even though I love the music, it sounds very much like NieR music. The game's identity shines brightest in its combat, in its missions, in its boss encounters, and in one section near the end of the game that I thought was actually excellent.

This is clearly a talented team and the fact they were able to make a big console game this good on their first try is astounding. I can only hope their next game has more of a unique identity.

TLDR; The game is well-polished, has some great music, some decently fun linear and open world missions, and some exceptional combat and boss fights, but the character designs clash super hard with each other, the environments don't feel distinct, the story and character writing are incredibly bad, and the game just doesn't have a strong identity outside of copying NieR Automata's homework.

Unstellar Blade

A game so milquetoast that it literally crashed my PC in switching inputs from my PS5 to my main display so I could write this review, and thus I lost all of my notes I had carefully constructed over the past three days of playtime. What I pulled together is that this was an attempt at making Nier: Automata without actually making it fun and without Yoko Taro.

I remember Stellar Blade's Official Reveal as Project Eve, named after the game's main character, jumping out of an otherwise uneventful and boring Sony State of Play with its flashy combat, beautiful environments, and overwhelmingly attractive protagonist. Hot character bait aside, I was interested in this game because of the influences it was clearly wearing on its sleeve in the aforementioned Platinum Games magnum opus. Many have tried and few have succeeded in nailing hack and slash as well as Platinum or their cousins in Capcom have done with the plethora of impressive titles between the two. Did I think Stellar Blade was going to go one on one with Nier, DMCV, or Metal Gear Rising? Absolutely not, but I did think it was worth a try, to see if there was a company out there who could go to bat with the best of them and put an effort forward that would be worth paying attention to in the years to come. I was excited for Stellar Blade as the release date neared, because it meant that I could one quell the discourse over the design of Eve by providing actual input on how the game plays, and secondly because the need for a fast paced hack and slash was weighing heavily on me after playing slower burn titles like FF7R2 and P3R fairly recently. Within a day of playing my interest waned but I remained hopeful, however on the third complete day of playing and the day I ultimately completed the game... I came away fairly perturbed.

The good, lets start with that why don't we? This game is downright beautiful. I played it on my PS5 on my 4K display with HDR enabled and woah nelly, it looked great. One of the greatest aspects of this title was how great both characters and the world looked from a graphical standpoint. As you transition from dilapidated buildings and streets into destroyed railways and misgiving deserts, your eyes will feast at the eye candy abound in the backgrounds of the world. I found myself navigating the camera up and down constantly at the world I was interacting with as it was tremendously rich in flavour and care from a design standpoint. I felt like the developers put a great deal of effort into creating a visually striking game, which unfortunately seems to have accompanied a trade off in other aspects of the title. More to come on that shortly, as I do want to praise the team for putting some of the best facial and body design in gaming forward. As I've already experienced, much of the conversation about Stellar Blade has been lost in the perceived attractiveness of Eve, but every character you interact with truly looks incredible. Though their proportions and mannerisms may not be totally... human, they are indubitably crafted with an intricacy and care to look astonishing. Stellar Blade if nothing else is a journey of eye candy, but that's kind of... it.

While not exactly fast enough to be a Nier-like, and not fun punishing and explore heavy enough to be a Souls-like, Stellar Blade attempted to forge a path forward that played out like a middle ground between Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice and the Jedi: Fallen Order/Survivor games. Eve's combat relies on using a plethora of learned abilities and tech to parry and dodge her way through a litany of grotesque alien foes who have claimed Earth to be their own. Where this goes wrong is in quite a few places, but the most apparent and earliest was in the poor "janky" feel and lack of reliability in both parry and dodge timings. This can be sort-of remedied by investing in Eve's skill trees and upgrading Eve's exo-spine but never really feels... good. Even if I was a dissenter of Sekiro over all, I felt like it mostly gave the right kind of feedback and snap to the parry/dodge timings required to master such a difficult title. For a game as infuriatingly hard as Stellar Blade gets in its late game, I felt like I was at the whimsy of luck in my dodges not directly feeding into a followup attack by a boss and my perfect parries not being read by the game because of poor latency or buffer timing. Time after time I'd land a perfect dodge only to be hit by the boss moving faster than Eve could recover right after. Cheap is the way I'd put that and it proliferated throughout the entire runtime of the title.

Difficulty is something I've spoken about ad nauseum in action-rpg titles and I'll continue to do so as I have an affinity for these kinds of games. After grinding my teeth in the (generally) slower paced Fromsoft classics and the speedy Platinum/Capcom games of the last decade and change, I feel like I'm fairly qualified. Stellar Blade early on feels hard, but not in a way that cannot be conquered. If I was getting my tail kicked by a group of world enemies or a boss, I found that I could readjust my stratagems to craft a better gameplan, coming back smarter and using my abilities at optimized times to come out victorious. I found my confidence growing, something that did not happen this early in Sekiro, and I continued on to the later stages of the game. I opened up my Playstation menu to check my progress, a feature of the console that tracks how far you've made it through the main story, and saw I had notched at 89%. I labored on to the area boss on one of the last major quests of the game. It was here I through my face into a wall, stressing with every ability and item I had to make it through the three phases and effective six health bars that the boss had. I double this up because of the way shields work. See in Stellar Blade, simply doing damage and having fun taking down your enemy's health bar is simply not allowed, you must first deplete their shields before you can do any "meaningful" damage to their hitpoints. Meaningful in quotations because even then on a fully upgraded weapon, after laboriously taking away the superfluous shield bar, you are granted the ability to do slightly more damage to the bosses health per hit. I've played Dark Souls underleveled and with un-upgraded weapons enough to know torment when it comes to weapons doing very little damage to bosses... and even that does not compare to how insulting Stellar Blade's damage counter feels.

It wasn't even until a few bosses later that I truly came to terms with my disdain for the needlessly draconian difficulty that exists within Stellar Blade's late game boss fights. I threw everything together that I could into defeating the (name kept out of review due to spoiler) boss. I thought I could craft a winning effort of combining my ultimate abilities with my tertiary skills and burst maneuvers, but nothing was taking. I couldn't perfect dodge and parry any longer against the multi-faceted and multi-phase boss fight at hand. Visual clarity was completely nuked from orbit as I could barely tell what moves were hitting me, where certain objects were, or where my Eve's reactions would take me next. A greater qualm I have with games at large now, I wrote about these most notably in my FFXVI DLC reviews, is a complete lack of being able to actually see what's going on in boss fights because of the "ooh how cool" quality that moves need to have. Keeping this in mind, the bosses began to teleport away CONSTANTLY from Eve so as to reposition their efforts while tarnishing any offensive effort I had put forth. This was rhythm breaking and tore any motivation I had towards chasing the enemy down, I felt discouraged and unmotivated to capitalize on optimized windows because I knew the boss would simply teleport away at any given moment. After being unable to keep up with this, the visuals going on, and the randomly included DPS checks, I put the game on "story mode" (reminder this is in the last hour or so of a medium length title) and kept chugging. I'm not actually sure this did anything to make the game easier. What it does in theory is give you windows to dodge and parry, popping up with on screen prompts of what button to press to not be hit by the enemies maneuvers. Does this work? Absolutely not. Most of the time these move to fast to even parse what move you're supposed to use, and half the bosses moves don't even populate your screen with a prompt at all. Through the next couple bosses and into the final boss I became increasingly confused if this was actually a difficulty slider at all or simply an effort to make you "feel" better by putting a semblance of choice of difficulty in front of you.

A best in class soundtrack (potentially one of the best of the year) and impressive visuals couldn't prop Stellar Blade up enough to go against its resoundingly poor English VA (I eventually played in Korean,) drab narrative heavily borrowed from Nier: Automata, and impressively frustrating and unrewarding combat. This is absolutely not a title worthy of purchasing at a $70 price tag, maybe half of that at best. I commend Sony and SHIFT UP for putting together a brand new IP and throwing some serious marketing at making this game stick out, but it felt like a great value Sekiro meets Nier at best. I would not recommend Stellar Blade to anyone with a PS5.

Stellar Blade, to me, felt like a B-movie whose budget was randomly doubled while in production. What I mean by this is: The production quality is top notch, but everything beneath that would be perfectly at home in a lower budget ""AA"" effort. From the sleazyness to the slightly undercooked gameplay to the agressively overconfident story (the story is mostly plot holes), Stellar Blade is highly polished trash. And I think that's very fun! It's not the best thing ever, but I enjoyed my time with it.

Stellar Blade plays it pretty safe, it has taken inspiration from so many great things that it can be hard to be anything below mediocre (There will be many comparisons). But the things it does do right are amazing, resulting in a really enjoyable experience for me.

Combat is great and basically everything feels fast and satisfying. The parry system could do with a bit more work, but maybe this is just me wanting a clone of Sekiro's posture bar + deathblow system rather than the common mechanic of 'reach parry threshold for a critical blow to the health bar', which was also seen in Lies of P.

Beta skills and the other trees are very fun to use, The animation team at Shift Up cooked extremely hard. The downside is that Eve is so strong with her cool as fuck abilities that you can basically skip some bosses' combos, it can take away from the entire point of parrying in the first place since you can just wail on them instead.

Dodging is also really satisfying, theres such a dynamic feel to every blink you pull off. The game also encourages you to do square and triangle combos to deal extra damage, but this can sometimes lock you into an animation that leaves you vulnerable. Its a nice touch and keeps you thinking about your inputs, rather than spamming the same button like in Sekiro. I do appreciate what its trying to accomplish, if I had to compare the combat its kind of like a mix of the Jedi games (abilities/parries), Lies of P (souls styled encounters/parry criticals), and Nier Automata (combos).

The gun is also a cool aspect of combat, it spices up some of the enemy encounters and levels that remind me of experiences from The Last of Us or Dead Space.

Movement and platforming is similar to how it worked in Jedi Fallen Order, wall running, double jumping and mid air dashing is what you'll be doing for most of the map traversal. I don't mind it at all and it gets the job done, nothing too special here but at least it isnt unbearably slow.

Visuals are great, a bit too many desert areas for my liking but aside from that it was all eye candy. High quality 2D iconography and modelling for individual assets, incredible lighting, colour direction, super dynamic cinematics and QTEs that put you right into the action (insane camera work). Character designs are great, Raven, Tachy, Orcal and ESPECIALLY Eve (I lost) with her many crazy outfits. The Naytiba designs are very interesting too, some pure nightmare fuel in that shit. Loved the inspiration from oceanic animals like octopi, land insects and mecha.

Music is unbelievable and might be the highlight for me, its absolutely my pick for best score of the year so far. Okabe - the Nier series composer, has done it again alongside Monaca sound studio. So many tracks in this game are bangers, with multiple different genres ranging from piano pieces to full EDM dubstep tracks (favourites being: Buzzsaw Slide, Karakuri's Theme, The Song of the Sirens, Belial's Theme, Hypertube Slide, and Tachy's Theme). The large amount of vocals used in the score push the themes of this game which I think is nice, its something the Nier series also does which makes sense.

Story is where the somewhat small cracks start to show, for the most part its predictable, some small twists I was surprised with but for the most part it was average. In this aspect it will stay in Nier's shadow, Eve could do with more of a personality rather than a sympathetic stoic who just wants to get her mission done, other characters just seem pretty barebones too. The side lore is quite good but nothing that helps the game stand out. Dialogue and writing is pretty basic. Side Missions were average at best, but didn't feel like a chore since some banger music was blasting and I could appreciate Eve's design at the same time. The voice acting (KR) can be pretty good at times within tense moments, especially Eve, Lily, Tachy and Raven, but aside from these few everyone else sounded kind of uninteresting and void of emotion.

Needs more of the Sonic tunnel grinding levels because that shit was sick as fuck!!

Overall I enjoyed my time, don't listen to the braindead controversy and form your own opinions by playing :)

I cannae believe so many folk are treating such an ok game as some big line in the culture war sand. If they took a few minutes away from signing petitions and replying to every Sony tweet with their hashtag, and actually bought the thing they'd see that no amount of skin can save this from being just very fine.

Flat shallow characters, messy predictable story, repetitive combat. This game has it all!

Fights are mostly just waiting for the enemy to do something so you can parry it and do a burst attack. There are combos, but you almost never get to do full ones because the enemy is starting its next swing and your only options are block, parry, or dodge. Good luck with that last one, because the dodge is dogshit. It's supposed to be for moving away from unblockable attacks, but the timing for it just feels off. This is made painfully worse when more than one enemy is targeting you, and your Souls instincts kick in looking for i-frames that aren't there.

Boss fights and music mostly rip though, so it has that going for it.

The characters however are like interacting with cardboard. Everyone is so basic. They're saying words that sound important, but there's so little there beneath it in both the acting or body language. Adam has to be the worst of these. The man feels like a placeholder model and voice through the whole game. It's wild that's he's one of the main cast. They're all desperately trying to get you to care about a story that feels vague, but by accident. Not some kind of "Oh the secrets are being kept from you" thing, but like they forgot to give us necessary info because they know it all since they're the ones making the game. I burst out laughing at the end when some daft stuff happens and a character just goes "What are you talking about?" as this person walks away without saying anything. It's exactly how I felt in the moment.

I'm convinced this whole thing could have worked better as more of a boss rush with bits of story or travel in-between à la Furi. I didn't feel like I was connecting wih the people or what was going on when I was trekking across empty desert doing fetch quests where every one ends with finding a corpse with an attached dying message. It's a poor man's Nier Automata, and that doesn't do it any favours in a world where I've come to resent a game I loved because it's done cross-overs with fucking everything and I'm sick of seeing 2B. THEY MADE ME SICK OF SEEING A NICE BIG ARSE!

Stellar Blade é um game que tá na boca do povo faz um tempo já, tanto por ser um dos grandes lançamentos de 2024 ou por sua protagonista, a Eve. O jogo conta a história de uma terra pós-apocalíptica, devastada após uma guerra entre humanos e seres monstruosos chamados Naytibas que resultou na derrota humana e a dominação dos Naytibas. Após uma invasão falha que resulta na morte de sua amiga Tacky, Eve é resgatada pelo sucateiro Adam e logo ambos encontram a cientista e membro do quinto esquadrão aéreo Lily. O trio então parte em uma batalha em busca das hipercélulas, mecanismos poderosos que podem salvar Xion, a última cidade habitada por humanos no planeta.

A gameplay principal bebe da fonte hack and slash, focando em combates frenéticos, ao estilo Devil May Cry, e conta com elementos popularizados pelos jogos Soulslike, como um cantil que você bebe para recuperar vida e acampamentos, que são pontos de descanso onde você recupera HP e seu cantil, semelhante às fogueiras de Dark Souls. Tudo no combate flui bem e ele é um dos pontos mais fortes do jogo. Quando você consegue pegar o timing de esquiva e parry, ele se torna ainda mais gostoso e envolvente. Além disso, os controles de combate correspondem rapidamente e você consegue encaixar combos com facilidade, tornando tudo mais dinâmico e tornando os vários momentos de combate atrativos.

A história também traz uma pegada de ficção científica ao estilo Blade Runner e o trio de protagonistas faz com que o jogador se envolva e queira saber o desenrolar de tudo. Os três são carismáticos cada um do seu jeito: Eve com sua agressividade e, ao mesmo tempo, inocência de uma andróide que está conhecendo a Terra aos poucos. Adam sendo um sucateiro entendido e que ajuda Eve a se situar de seus arredores e da história da Terra como um todo e Lily com sua empolgação quando seus serviços de tecnologia precisam ser postos em ação.

Os gráficos são maravilhosos. Tanto nas cidades abandonadas e destruídas, que ao mesmo tempo que conseguem impactar com seus escombros e construções desmoronadas que nos mostram a tragédia que assolou a Terra, também nos entregam cenários lindos como o Oásis do Grande Deserto, a própria cidade de Xion que tem clara e forte inspiração na Cidade Murada de Kowloon, na China (a mesma que deu a inspiração para a cidade dos robôs em Stray) criando locais que passam até mesmo conforto dentro daqueles destroços que formam uma cidade. O maior destaque pra mim de locais assim, é uma pequena comunidade dentro do esgoto, que fiquei por um bom tempo admirando pela proeza dos designers de criarem um lugar que traz conforto e paz dentro daquele que é um dos últimos lugares em que se encontraria isso, pelo contrário, um lugar que causaria repulsa. E esse é o maior trunfo de Stellar Blade (além da jogabilidade de combate): a ambientação. É surreal como os desenvolvedores pegam lugares que poderiam causar nojo ou até afastamento das pessoas e utilizam desse artifício para mostrar o que o povo de Xion conseguiu no meio de todo o caos que assola o planeta: criar a paz, a harmonia e o conforto em meio ao que de pior a vida lhes entregou após a catástrofe.

Se por um lado temos um combate sólido, ambientação linda e personagens chamativos. A Shift Up acaba pecando em alguns aspectos. O jogo por vários momentos investe em elementos plataforma que carecem de uma precisão maior. Eve é muito leve e um toquinho no analógico enquanto ela está no ar é suficiente pra fazer ela girar pra todo lado e te custar uma morte por errar a plataforma ou a corda que tu precisa agarrar. Quando se pendura nas cordas por exemplo, as vezes tu quer pular reto e apesar de posicionar a personagem, quando você pula ela acaba indo pra diagonal. Aconteceu de ela ir pra esquerda em vez de ir reto e até mesmo acabar voltando para trás em alguns momentos. E o pulo duplo, que deveria facilitar, apesar de ajudar por diversos momentos até atrapalha, te dando impulso a mais do que o necessário.

Outro ponto que de início é positivo mas que, com o tempo, se torna cansativo, é a exploração. De início encontrar documentos, cartões de memória e chaves de acesso te deixa ainda mais imerso no cenário. Só que, para quem pretende fazer a Platina, como eu fiz, vai precisar de um volume alto de coletáveis e side quests. Com o tempo isso se torna cansativo e até confuso sem um guia, pois enquanto alguns estão em locais até de fácil acesso, outros estão muito mais escondidos, em pontos de acesso trabalhoso ou escondido bem na frente do jogador, mas que passa batido por se encontrarem em pontos extremamente específicos. Eu fui atrás deles com ajuda de um guia, mas tanto o guia quanto a disposição dos coletáveis acabam confundindo muito. E embora alguns acabem te falando mais sobre o mundo que o jogo se passa, boa parte não acrescenta em nada (um dos que peguei dizia literalmente apenas WHIZZ WHIZZZZZ). E não é de se espantar que alguns documentos e outros coletáveis não tenham nada de relevante, já que muitos foram feitos só pra preencher o extenso número de 986 (!!!) colecionáveis.

O game conta com algumas side quests que comportam narrativas fechadas envolvendo o povo de Xion e apesar de algumas histórias boas e até comoventes, assim como os coletáveis, várias delas não acrescentam em NADA na trama principal. São colocadas ali só para inchar o tempo de gameplay. E o fato de elas também serem necessárias pra Platina faz com que tais atividades também fiquem um pouco cansativas em certo ponto. E eu só vou dizer uma frase sobre o minigame de pesca: é um porre, me perdoem.

No fim, apesar de tudo isso o saldo de Stellar Blade, ainda mais se levando em conta que é o trabalho de estreia do estúdio coreano Shift Up, é extremamente positivo. Entregando um game que, embora dê uma tropeçadas no percurso, não perde o equilíbrio e dá ao jogador uma experiência sólida, divertida e envolvente. Mostra que o estúdio tem um potencial enorme pela frente em suas próximas empreitadas, sejam jogos novos ou, muito provavelmente, uma sequência deste aqui.

E por último, não esqueçam que o game é feito pra jogar. Quem quiser descabelar o palhaço, corre pra um Red Tubos da vida aí que é menos humilhante que ficar sendo tarado por uma boneca de videogame.