𝟕,𝟑/𝟏𝟎
The simulator where everything goes wrong. Not a very original idea, as well as the gameplay, which by the middle turns into a regular shooting range, although the controls are convenient, you can’t find fault here.
But good portal humor, of course, who would doubt it, and beautiful graphics of Source 2.
I don’t know how to evaluate this game from the point of view of a “demo”, but, from the point of view of a short adventure, I rate it very average, I enjoyed it, but the game didn’t sink right into the soul. Even secret actions are very few.
The plot here is very unclear, the main events are funny at first, then very peculiar..There is a slight connection with the plot of the Portal, but nothing specific, although I am not an expert of the universe.
p.s. By the way, Cave Johnson is voiced by J.K. Simmons, I didn't know this before.
/
Симулятор, где всё пошло не так. Не слишком оригинальная идея, как и геймплей, к середине преврающийся в обычный тир, хотя управление удобное, тут не придерёшься.
Но неплохой порталовский юмор, естественно, кто бы сомневался, и красивая графика Source 2.
Не знаю, как оценивать эту игру с точки зрения "демонстрационной", но, я, с точки зрения короткометражного приключения, оцениваю очень средне, я получил удовольствие, но не зацепило, не запала прям в душу игра.
Сюжет тут очень непонятный, основные события поначалу весёлые, потом очень своеобразные.. Небольшая связь с сюжетом Портала есть, но вроде ничего конкретного, хотя я не специалист по вселенной.
p.s. Кстати, Кейва Джонсона озвучивает J.K.Simmons, я не знал раньше.

"what would you do if I told you the next game after valve announces half life 3 is a toilet simulator/ tech demo?"

aperture desk job is a charming, well written little tech demo with a nice bit of fan service that'll make any returning portal fan smile. it's short and it is pretty much just a tech demo, but it just feels fucking great to be in a time where valve actually releases shit. 2012-2019 was just a waste of a decade with them. i am very excited to see valve put their big boy pants on and actually release some of the games they make

I can barely remember what happened because I was enthralled by the texture and lighting on that blue cunt's dome.

That's about all it has goin' for it. Decade old patter still getting wheeled out. Hee hee da quippy robot.

I feel ancient. Fuck off.

You know when you’re in the queue at, like, Disneyland, or Universal Studios, or whatever, and they have those videos where Christopher Lloyd is pretending to be Doc Brown from Back to the Future or something like that, telling you about the ride you’re about to go on and doing all the little catchphrases from the movie, but it’s sorta hollow - they sound so tired, and it doesn’t last long enough to fill your time in the queue, so you keep hearing it over and over again, this same shit, for what feels like years? Maybe even decades? Yeah. Super annoying! I hate that kind of stuff.

Anyway, remember when the Nintendo Switch came out? Those were great times. Feels like forever ago since I first did a Zelda dungeon while taking a shit. That feeling when you first slid the joycons onto their rails and heard that satisfying click... Oh yeah! The little minigame in 1-2 Switch where you could feel the balls moving around in the pad? So awesome. When was that again... 2016? 2017? Five years ago?! Wow! I remember that first weekend it launched, my friend brought his with him to the pub in the pocket of his cargo pants! Crazy, right? We all played Bomberman round a table, just like in those adverts Nintendo made to promote the console, laughing and smiling and shit. So much fun. What a system. Good times, man, good times.

Obviously, Valve's Aperture Desk Job is not a properly great game or anything, but it is a great tech demo, which is all Valve set out to do. It serves as a tech demo for the new Steam Deck, which I do not own, so I played it on my PC instead. It still works quite well with a Steam Controller (though it does function with other controllers too). The gameplay is nothing all that special, going from a controls demo to a pretty standard rail shooter, but Valve's typically witty writing elevates the experience beyond average. The graphics look quite great considering they're designed for low-level hardware, with very expressive animation and impressive use of materials, though the lack of any configurable settings beyond resolution is a little disappointing for those not playing on a Deck. My favorite aspect of Desk Job is how many Portal mythology gags they include. For example, Cave Johnson being trapped in a computer and begging you to kill him was originally a cut concept from Portal 2! They even brought back JK Simmons to reprise his role! My only complaint is Grady's voice actor, who does a competent enough job but doesn't really seem to fit his character. Nevertheless, Valve's clear love and passion for the Portal universe brings a big smile to my face and I'm excited to see what else they have in store.

>shows up
>drops goty 2022
>leaves

love you valve please keep making games

I'm of the mind that game controllers are rife with untapped potential to an almost comical degree; even our two-analogue + two-shoulder-triggers (etc.) standard exemplified across every major system for the past couple of decades has plenty of wriggle room to prove themselves as fructuous user interfaces, as platforms for expression and experimentation. How often are games elevated by you using an input and receiving a response you didn't quite expect, when a title is brave enough to break out of muscle-memory-worn tradition? Why are we always using the right analogue stick for the camera when God Hand demonstrated that it could be used as an omnidirectional dodge? Bumpers piss me off too, it always feels like the part games fall back on when they run out of face buttons.

Aperture Desk Job is a hardware showcase for the Steam Deck, placing the player behind a desk filled with buttons and knobs that represent an abstracted control pad, more specifically the Steam Deck button layout. but I'm honestly not sure what it's so proud of, what it's even flaunting. When all comes down to it, the game seems satisfied to give you another simulation where the left stick "moves" the player, you ready a reticle with the left trigger, and shoot with the right. It even demonstrates with a quippy section that deviations from this, let's face it, trite format are nothing more than "overengineered" amalgams begging for failure. I honestly am a little disappointed in Valve for this. While I definitely think the Steam Deck is one of the best pieces of handheld gaming hardware on the market, it doesn't do anything for interactivity the Switch doesn't do - the WiiU gamepad didn't do. Hell, the fucking Nvidia Shield.

Which, I wanna stress, is fine. I love the Steam Deck lol, it's a relatively uncomplicated means to play my Steam library "on the go" (bed), I love the freedom and the ergonomics of the pad itself are wildly comfortable. It serves its purpose just fine - it's just why I'm a little confused by... this? It does nothing, and despite reprising a fan-favourite role, it also says nothing. I wasn't even necessarily expecting Valve's take on Astro's Playroom, I simply had hoped that their generally forward-thinking design ethos would unravel a hidden truth or two, especially since they had the confidence to release this on regular PCs as well.
Oh well, it's nice to hear little motifs from the Portal 2 soundtrack again, gave me the tingles.