what the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk its just up and canceled, this was a cool warioware-like game thats just never gonna get completed
i Liked the minigames they had going on in rotation, some of it wasnt perfect! there was a lot that were kindof tough to see through even on a couple attempts a time, but i thought it was charming and now it's just ... well, im left high and dry ig! Was especially looking forward to how the plot was going to round up and climax but now we just wont ever see that

Nice of the devs to atleast let you try and get your money back even past the 2 hour steam standard refund policy, but this hurts Baddddddddddddddddd bitch I was genuinely thinking about this days ago and then first thing I see online aint new art or some good news whtsoever

Shit happens though I suppose..i cant give it just HALF a star though because I genuinely had some fun with it
but this is absolutely a game i cant see myself recommending to people now because youre playin the warioware equivalent of P.T Demo atp
im hyperbolizing a bit! but ugh

i mean its dr fucking mario bitch like these dont technically even Have endings to them either but i sure did storm thru the lot of these
this is also the only one ive played where i think there was any semblance of continuity attempted(ive only played the og and one other one im forgettin the name of) considering that luigi's actually here! i remember dr luigi and airing the fuck out of it because it was one of those things where like you know you're a wii u owner and youre primarily a PC and Wii U owner because youre not made of money as a kid and your parents also aint so thts kinda the bread and butter you got going on

but i thought it looked Kinda Cool
just like this is kinda cool, got some nice lil blocks in the mix to shake things up with how you deal with the viruses and luigi and mario pivot off of each other with different map goals that keep it fresh with the music thats just Made to worm in your head in a freakish sense

this also use to have online multiplayer!! and i heard it was actually pretty solid kinda like m o s t 3ds online multiplayer for stuff
but i never got to try that
im sure with the workaround systems we got nowadays with 3ds spotpass and online nowadays its still doale but i doubt thatd impact my opinion of this game in any super meaningful way im gonna b real w you

puyo puyo, dr mario, tetris
these r the golden pillars of brickblock bullshit and i respect tht

See i actually wound up playing this on my 3DS uhhhhh.. but it was bugged,, i wasnt even really touching anything i just let my 3ds sit on the table and the vents and shit would freak but .. i never got killed!... so technically i did beat this before fnaf 2 but it doesnt really feel good or earned because i was just glancing back occasionally at a game beating itself on accident! but its so funny i cant not put it here.. i like how grimey and green this game looks though! and springtrap is awesome even though he sure does take his sweet ass time in this game
ill wind up properly playing it and maybe having more thoughts about this some other time i guess

just a beautiful marvel of game design and fully embracing what makes the first so mesmerizing in vibes to begin with, added by the fact that this actually has a communal aspect to it and so much customizability. I really do think this is one of the most special fangames ever, Ill be circling back around to this a lot and im logging this with dates and leavin a review bc even though its not a "beat" game, there's just no way anyone will ever be able to truly soak it all in and i think that absolutely embodies a moving breathing work of art

When i got told the guy that made this use to work in casinos and all that everything clicked IMMEDIATELY to me why this game is the way it is. It's like pure sugar, it's pure dopamine rush from getting the upgrades and shredding through enemies
PLAYABLE bubblewrap popping practically, i havent even played as every single character in the game but its so addictve and unlocking new shit is always fun and it always feels like you're Technically after a seemingly everlasting goalpost but also that there's always enough happening and going on to the point where i dont even really care! i havent even tried the co-op! i heard there's no online co-op for this though which really sucks :( smthin to rectify later down the line i guess
I think the biggest thing tht holds this game for me is how youre kinda just holding your analog stick the whole time in whatever direction to turn until you get an upgrade and actually need to click something
this KINDA has it count as a clicker game, like one of those cookie clicker things?? but idk this feels way more like im not just sittin my ass down doin Absolutely nothing
you could call this a time waster though if you really reduce it and look at it like that, i wont fight u on shit but i think its a fun game esp for how much content is there

I think the most specific compliment I can give the game is two things, the fact that there's not excessively overpriced DLC going on in tandem with how there's so much of this that Screams "mobile game" but is only ever having you go off of the ingame currency and coins youre collecting so nobodys real life wallet is being shook down. It's a self contained addictive nature to the game really

and the fact that they got a trans woman witch in this game and i dont even feel like playing her much because the among us crewmate characters are so fucking fun. like giovanna's cats are Ok but girl why would i give a fuck when I can have a keycard swiping attack that evolves into the wires connecting minigame that makes me have nigh biblical god levels of mowing enemies unscathed
Like whoever was the brain behind the crewmate movesets, ESPECIALLY the engineer. thats some powerful shit. thats how you know its crack.

This KINDA SUCKSSSSSSSSSS, it rly doesnt feel very polished and the speed cap aint rlly good
youll pretty much just be playing a game of banking on boost panels and items to win instead of genuinely minding shit like vehicle loadout or character type
but it IS very cute

Unfortunately I dont like this game enough to stick it out for Kuromi </3

Sat thinking for a minute like "what could i say about Celeste that hasnt been done already" "what would i say that's New to the site thatd offer some perspective" and then I stopped thinking like that, because why should *i give up just because other people were able to do some shit? why should i* go without a word?
Yea in 2018 I played half the areas of the 1st site of the mountain and iiiiiiiiiiii.. couldnt do it, i thought to myself "oh wow another meatboy inspired game, yeah nah i cant go through that bullshit again"
I wasnt ready for all that, not ready for a whole nother mountain in my life

But fastfoward to NOW, and ive scaled so many in my life now that this point I feel nostalgic
I feel this fond tinge of pain and sadness but also happiness because I know where im headed in life. I love the music, the pico8 version of this game, I like the cast and I like pretty much every level theming bracket thats thrown at you

My favorite in particular was DEFFF when feather stuff was being introduced, so fun. The final stretch of this game is some of the most uplifting shit you could ever take in too, and i STILL have content after the fact to indulge in with 64 and etc
TO DOOO

which is good because i love the gameplay so much, to the point where i even had assist mode at the ready for if i felt like id need it.. but something happened! id die so many times on the same part and not even toggle assist mode, i think because i wanted to prove it to myself that i could do it
but also with a couple things id be easier on myself if i needed a little help along the way with making a jump on something I didnt understand

And then that led to somethin FUNNY happening where I cheesed through 1 section and then i felt insane guilt, and looked up how someone did it on youtube, then i saw how it was simple and i was overcomplicating it! and then i went to see if the game would let me organically head backwards AND IT SO DID!! so then I beat it, not to get to a marker or a strawberry but just For Me

and I picked this game back up For Me, and I think its a beautiful and everlasting testament to personal growth for me and been an unsung favorite that I didn't even realize clicked with me in a way I wasn't ready to stare in the face yet 6 years ago. Seeing that flag was one of the most cathartic things ive felt this year because it felt like I just recapped the emotional run-around ive been having all that time ago. To everyone that may suck at platformers, or maybe you just genuinely cant stare down the mountains in your own life, or to those that died on the climb that cant even continue if they wanted to.. i feel for all of yall, much love <3

mannn FUCK! i thought id be swinging into some game with a lot of cooking, maybe a decent bunch of levels, maybe fulfilling a lot of people's orders
i was havin that cooking game itch, i dont know why but i get those every then and now and thirsty suitors was somewhat scratching it but i wanted somethin GEARED SOLELY on that and...
i quickly came to realize while playing this that this game is very short.. it also feels trial and error at times to those that dont really make these recipes ahahaha so people that regularly know them will definitely breeze through this game as if it was just an hourlong visual novel with some interactive segments
And thats Okay
because I think there's something very special about conveying a fish out of water scenario where even if you have family you can still feel isolated, you can still feel ashamed of a culture and whats special because youd be looked at different and made fun of by people intentionally racist or otherwise, you Want to be understood and you want to not stick out from enough repeated fuckshit flung in your face.

that's not at ALL what i thought this game would be but it surprised me, i even thought it was going to take an even darker turn at one point and I honestly begun to tear up. Some of you reading this may have thicker armor for an hourlong story about an indian family struggling to hit their stride and express love through the joy of cooking, but even without personally havin Been Through It myself I can resonate with the utter passion and whirlwind of nostalgia, joy and comfort that comes from a pinpoint moment in your life with making food

admittedly even though i really enjoy cooking a lot, im still not very good myself, but i keep going and share what i do with my wife. It has me feel like with what Id do in the kitchen, that its always a concrete thing Im getting better and better at slowly. Each recipe puzzle serves to advance the story in some way or another and the art is so sweet it reminds me of a childrens storybook id find at a bookfair way back when, to the point where if you told me it Was conveyed that way before in a similar manner id probly believe you.

Our connections in life can be bound and resurge even by somethin as simple as one plate of food, because its not the origin that people ultimately focus on thats the reason to love it
It's the emotion put into it, it can be an expression
And thats what this game made me feel

Again, its like an hourlong game and its not super wordyyy and the cooking really serves as a chapter progression element
the sounds are lovely and the art is sweet.
But youd primarily hop on this just to feel something tender if youre needing it, and i wasnt mad about that at all.

some of yall are smoking MADDDDDDD penis on this site saying this is worse than tax evasion
i talked to someone that thinks this sucks because it's babys first roguelite
okay but tax evasion was babys first zeldalike
so like
what

u dont play turnip boy for ball busting, teeth gnashing gameplay
u play it for the whimsy

turnip boy robs a bank is a pretty easy game though
and to really get some of the moment to moment humor and narrative of this one you kinda do Heavily benefit from having played the first game in its entirety(like me)
This IS a sequel after all!
BUT i can respect the isolated silliness of the 1st one being more charming for its premise and with how that game has a LOT of casual lore
Like its kindof a background casual post apocalyptic adventure but in an adventure time way where everybody's got a job they dont gaf about none of that

But all things considered, i think i got beat to shit by the 3rd boss fight once, the 4th boss fight once and the final boss once before too

Im stressing these things like difficulty because ultimately i dont think they even fucking matter for turnipboy robs a bank LMFAO LIKE, I KNOW THAT SOUNDS S T U P I D FOR A ROGUELITE GAME
but the bulk of this and its predecessor is you doing quests, and collecting new weapons that can be kinda fun to use :) with some trendy humor
some of you, may cringe into a blackhole from jokes about nfts, exposure, rtx geforce and the dark web
and thats Okay
I think its fun though and there's a couple bits in the game that im not gonna list because theyre pretty fun to experience

The doug dimmadome hat is the best hat in the game, and I loved the diff environments and shit, the new characters are fun and I think my biggest gripe is that there's' like four varying quality types of rooms you can go into the bronze, the silver, the gold and the rainbow ones

and Also six different types of rooms that can go to specialty locations

the problem with this is that even though this is a small game, some quests you can only do if you have access to certain floors!! and you cant just REROLL these mid-heist
so you kinda just gotta deal with it.

all in all i enjoyed this a lot and i can def acknowledge the faults with it but i think its inherently more interesting than the first game ever was and im really curious what this team is gonna do with turnip boy in the next game
maybe he'll be in a 3d platformer????
maybe itll be a strategy rpg????
maybe itll be a beat em' up???
idk!
i just know i love the little asshole

final thoughts: i got jumpscared n lost $1,000,000 dollars in hard cash, aliens shoot transgender lasers and t4t fruits are real
its impossible to be a bad video game with all these qualities

also why does this shit say xbox one for the platform when its on series x.. cause thts what i played it as.. i could probably tweak it myself... but like. i dont get how to do shit with the website for adding games to this fucking site

first of all id like to wave a proud middle finger to dimps to altitude limit zone as a whole and to those fuckass rocket shits you gotta grab in a leap of faith superman mentality, and the latter special stages REGARDLESS if theyre cool or not. . .mk now i can talk on this with clear conscience

i almost dropped this game SEVERAL times and wanted to but my wife told me i needed to lock-in and i proceeded to be like this game is on that BULL shit though, but eventually... Eventually.. i Did lock-in and got good .. Eventually!

It's got one of the best soundtracks in the series(of the games ive played thus far), and i love the models i love how crunchy they look, i love the aesthetics of this game and the trick system is really cool and the boost mechanic is Probably my favorite of any sonic game ive played that even has one! And Blaze is awesome and I think her individual story ending was more satisfying than Sonic's on basis alone of her being a character that actually developed in this story

You got everyone from knuckles, cream, tails, amy and the eggmen...eggmans?...the eggmeese! But amy's still her weird boychaser self in this era that they loved leaning into for the sonic x and onward structure of the series until Maybe...Generations??????? idek, im still a relatively new fan LMAO thats just a guess i know it dies down eventually though but I love when Amy's like.. cool..
tails is sweet and cream is arguably second most important side character in all this
this really does feel more like the blaze and cream game than it does the sonic and tails show
which im happy about because from what ive been told this is blaze's best and first game appearance and i think thats just s a d but i do see what people meant
Burning Blaze fucking rules and she rapidly shot up in my faves even before I hopped on IDW Comics or anything like that :) !!
Sucks that Knuckles really is just kindof T h e r e for the game but it wouldnt be the first time Knuckles and Amy are just kinda T h e r e with nothin going on but some neat little interactions so im not pressed.

The zone variety is really cool in Sonic Rush as well as the actual enemies you face CARRYING OFF of enemies from sonic heroes and even adventure 2 badnik design, really caught me offguard. The special stages are also pretty awesome and tense, though i think leaning into touchscreen shit for them made me way more anxious about them than I shouldve been tbh. And thats just a Me thing, probably a lot easier for other people.

The bosses in a graphical standpoint look really cool and I dunno I think id take them anyday over 3/4ths of the bosses from the classic sonic era, fuckedup how they got some with instakills going on though
and thts smthin tht kept pissing me off with this game in particular! there's a lotta shit that you wouldnt know about unless you trial and error your ass off, i got A ranks on some of these fuckin zones and acts and that felt more like a sink or swim mentality thing rather than something i WILLINGLY wanted to do
I wound up doing that because of how crazy some difficulty spikes can be in this game and wariness over enemy placements and grabbing as many rings as i can to stack those fucking extra lives.
The final boss surprisingly enough isnt even the hardest boss in the game to me, thatd be the one before it because it has so many moves in rotation that it didnt wanna use in tandem with how to actually Damage the fuckin thing
but i still loved it,
i cant rank a sonic game that samples malcom X anything lower than a 3.5/5 honestly.
Though i do think its crazy how the true boss chapter will just pick up from however many lives you had left with sonic and blaze in their own stories respectively ... like thats kinda HARSH?? but atleast when you die itll pick up from the last check you were at from Sonic's perspective ATLEAAAAST
like the game's not That punishing

but all in all, this game invoked a lot of deep seeded anger within me which is really funny looking back because its got a lot of charm and some of the most fun 2d sonic gameplay ive tasted
It may even shoot up higher on a revisit, but i just cant meatsuckle a video game that makes me do some of the fuckshit this made me do im so salty
great time, higher end of the games ive played
but oh my god for a short game this had to have had kids in the early 00s BUUUUUUUUUUUSY

Im so mad I wasnt there for you when you were new...

I love this game, bitch.

Rollerdrome is a 3d rollerskating 3rd person shooter and this is such a specific genre combination that i feel like coulda gone wrong so hard but they nailed it. I love the cel shaded style, there's pretty light story happening in the background of this yearly dystopian championship sport, and everything is so satisfying to pull off. If you're like me and you're familiar with Tony Hawk Pro Skater or THUG then youre gonna get a nice taste for whats cooking with this quick
It's refreshing playing a game centering on skating after playing one that had it more as a side activity/traversal option

Thoughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Rollerdrome is NOT really like Tony Hawk! You're up and shooting robot dudes that are practically always breathing down your neck if able, snipers and tanks and guys with mines will be constantly flung at youuuu and you better respect that shit especially when youre watching your health.
In a way I guess you could say this comes together more as a 'character action game' than it does somethin like a regular third person shooter game or a sport game. Pullin off stylish 900 degree Coffins, prowler grinds and mambas- they pretty much got you covered with every possible combination.

You have a nice arsenal of weapons to make use of too! I think my favorite will always be the grenade launcher because of how much distance you get with managing the arc, goes crazy
the dual pistols still have their uses but honestly apart from a couple moments beyond the starting levels, i found them dwindling fuuuurther and further out of the spotlight and the Z-11 and Shotgun were the most reliable ones to fallback on

the Z-11 itself never really felt like I MASTERED that shit though, it was fun but i feel like i still didnt really have it all on lock! yk! But thats one of the best parts about this game, progression is tied to you finishing the levels but u aint going no where if u cant also fulfill an objectives quota. Youll be circling back to earlier levels, and this SOUNDS tedious yea

but i actually liked this because this game already has a handful of similar Looks for each lvl anyways, and youre gonna wanna test your skills and read up on that Tricktionary and will some shit cause you cannot be mindless in this game.

Infact i think this game is one of the best ive ever seen in regards to seamlessly mixing complete chaos and also you doin tricks and dodges in the air and flips to keep that combo no matter what's hurdling at you. It also does that type of acceleration where its stacking n not something where you gotta hold forward to keep yourself skating forward. This rules but if you lose your mental rhythm on whats going on, you can absolutely spiral outta control and fly head first into complete nuclear arms shit popping off LMFAO

There's also a thing where if youre pressed to a wall you can bounce off of it but it feels so awkward like the wall is just dejecting your model in the mirrored shot you came at it from, but otherwise there wasnt much in the way for clunkiness
The super reflex time shit is really what brings it all together too oh my godddd, for repositioning or getting multiple shots off and watching 'em all fall, its sick. Every time you think youre done the loop gets you back in it again cause you Know you can do better you Know those highscores aint worth shit when you master shit, its HARD but very rewarding

some side notes

my heart sank when i saw how low the player rates for the xbox trophies were for this game </3 when i got halfway in the game it was basically saying less than half of all ppl tht played it on xbox even made it there
and a whole like 3% even actually finished the game fully
Aint that SAD? i know this game dropped on other consoles including PC but, jesus

on a lighter note i saw a really funny bug where i was going real fast up and when i was coming back down i was mid trick and going into the voidddd buuuuuuuuuuuuut... i didn really.. go out into the void and respawn.. i just glitched through the stage and the enemies were trying their hardest to kill me but couldnt do it LMFAO and they tried their asses off, the tanks even getting some cheap shots in on me. I was trying to do a highscore objective challenge too and I totally did it EVEN W I T H the par time penalty and losing time from that little hiccup which was pretty cool

but yeah its a game that has a structuring and cel shaded look that i just drool over, it kindof gives me graphic novel vibes if anything, and the story isnt rlly why you play this but just something neat to chew on a little in thought while youre doing these levels. It honestly FEELS like a game that didnt even come out in this console generation, like in thought process for somethin like this it seems like smthin thatd get executed in the ps3/xbox/wii era or late ps2/gamecube/xbox era of things. And i mean that in a compliment in the same way as me sayin that with Hi-Fi-Rush. though the two are incomparable in nearly every way

so yea thats all i got, play it on gamepass if you got it or hop on steam to do it(between you and me, i think the game is fine on controller when you crank the sensitivity up.. but its most def a lot easier to sink your head in with a mouse to look around with i bet. thats how ive always been with shooters though).

also there's like two bosses.. and i dont really think theyre show stealers here LMAO like not a selling point, liked them but really funny how theres only two and they kinda flow the same for the main campaign
Kara Hassan, youll always be famous to me <3...

shelved 2023: my gawd thats cool but fucking hard, like middle of the game and i feel like it takes me two hundred tries to do shit right, bashin my head against a wall until shit works
ill come back to this later aurgh

updated 2024 review coming:

Ive had to rewrite this shit like FOUR times because I keep trailing off, but I loved this game I think that it really did hit once I finally got through Assault

Ive known about Hotline Miami for so many fucking years that I think to me this was always a portrait example of an indie game that everybody fw
I never got around to it myself though until wayyyyyyyy later and I played a few levels and this gave me not just a fun arcadey feel but even reminded me of some of my favorite action flashgames id enjoy as a kid thatd be just really quick, violent and satisfying(for the time)

if its not the menagerie of all the visual sweetness that rests in your eyes with the colors, the commitment to realistic tinnitus pop, how quick it is to die and try again all working in simultaneous motion getting you to study the layout and at near-muscle memory press through

it's also the presentation of the story thats kinda cool too, ive been told things get recontextualized by the second game but to me this game was strange enough and vague enough about it to question what was going on while also havin it in the backseat and not say or do more than it needs to

Infact, i got pretty pissed when someone said "ur still playin that? its so short though!" bc ive died literally. L I I I I T ER A L LY over a thousand times at this point playing this game and I think its really just boiled down to feeling that short however much it clicks with you and you adapt

BECAUSE BY THE TIME I WAS PAST ASSAULT... honestly wasnt dying so much, i was getting into the rhythm of things again annnnnnd saw the credits. I was actually so floored by this it didnt even initially hit me that I beat this when it gave me so much trouble before and time to get use to... kindof like how when walking back out of each completed chapter you kinda see the brains splatteredddd

you see the broken glass everywhereee

you see the weapons, the shells, all of that

and you just Went through it maybe like.. in the span of a run a MINUTE.. maybe a couple more minutes in linear time not counting retries of shit with the adrenaline winding down
But it really does have that mouthfeel afterwards where youre like "oh. oh my god its over i gotta get out yes" and the dial getting turned down like that mentally and physically within the game is really well done to me

In a way it actually reminds me of when i played Postal 1 for the first time, COMPLETELY different gameplay and experience ofc ofc. But when playing Postal 1 id often be wandering the areas, the washed out landscapes of the towns or forests or caves and just kinda slightly grimacing at the thought
because when the music dies down and youre without someone to kill youre basically just sifting through the area hunting any survivors and the gravity of the situation is more felt like youre a truly desensitized guy doing all this.....clearin my throat hotline miami aint like this rlly, but the prospect of wading through seas of gore that you wrought (figuratively speakin) with the tone and tension sunk is something really palpable to me that i enjoyed

its disturbing and added to the high tension action, i mostly leaned towards using the cobra mask and the tiger one and didnt really bother with much of the rest but i could still appreciate having so many options to tackle and tough through the game with

Sometimes this game's AI is also so fucked too, like its cool how each reset they can behave diff but that also means youre gonna go up against ANYTHING happening or sometimes the doors fuck you up or sometimes the enemy can see you even when it feels like they shouldn be able to or they glitch out the rims and you cant progress
AND THIS WAS ALL RARE! dont get it twisted, i think the game is still cool but moments like this had me laughing or groaning in frustration and i felt like its worth noting that
but otherwise i rlly dont got much complaints whatsoever this game rules

I don't think ill hop at hotline miami 2 immediately
maybe give it like another week or so? im not too sure
But i did really love what was here