Cowboiji
217 reviews liked by Cowboiji
Spy Mouse
2011
"hey peter what's the better stealth game, metal gear solid or hitman"
"doesn't matter uncle ben, Spy Mouse (2011) is better than both"
dude this game is SERIOUSLY fucking awesome i wish it was still available
"doesn't matter uncle ben, Spy Mouse (2011) is better than both"
dude this game is SERIOUSLY fucking awesome i wish it was still available
Being one of the two games I bought when I first started collecting all those years ago, this game fell into the backlog abyss because of the other title (Persona 3 FES). I've always loved the style and the art direction of this game, though I think for me and a lot of people the D-Counter system scares everyone off.
Once I learned about D-Charging to one shot pretty much everything that's an obstacle, the game became pretty easy. The real fun was when I was treating the SOL system like a rougelike. Slowly building up my Party XP bank, and investing in my Ant Colony to passively make me money to buy those super weapons were fun to grind for. On my first run, I got to the boss right before the final dungeon. On my second run, I got to the third to last boss before maxing out. Understanding the systems in place and how to exploit them is built into the design of Dragon Quarter. You are meant to learn about how to abuse the Dragon Form to get past road blocks. You are supposed to master layouts and trap placements to quickly navigate dungeons. You're supposed to overlevel yourself with your Party XP to blitz through early environments.
My final run I did in one sitting after grinding took about 3.5 hours to do. My equipment was amazing, I had the right skills to kill anything that stood in my way. I had only 7% at the boss that ended my run the first time, allowing me to use my Dragon form to obliterate the final dungeon. It's a feeling that only a game like this can achieve after burying yourself into mastering its systems.
When I talked about this game, I used this head ass term "osmosis of confusion", which a lot of people probably went through in the early hours of this game. Trying to figure out "Do I restart each time, is this a rougelike, what carries over". If there are any tips I can give you while playing this game is: The SOL System is New Game+ as a mechanic, treat it as such. Just like with NG+ with any other game, you get reworked dungeons, loot, enemies, and minibosses that now spawn. New story segments that better explain the narrative are only shown if you interact with this system.
After finishing this game last night, I breathe a sigh of relief. This game truly challenged me to think more than I usually would with a JRPG. The world is beautiful. The art design is at its best during the cutscenes. I didn't expect these characters to be so animated, specifically with their facial expressions. I knew the exact emotions the cast were feeling without the annoying trope of outright explaining it out loud. These characters are quite introspective and that omission of telling the player what to feel, makes this narrative more compelling. Does Ryu come to terms with this being a doomed quest? What other horrors have the council orchestrated? It's all a bit weird, but it pays off at the end with a gorgeous ending.
Yada yada ~battles could be faster, there could be more varied level design~
Though I feel the battle system fits the world of this game. This world is cold. They live underground, with monsters as their main source of food and energy. Everything fits is what I'm trying to say, and the more uncomfortable you are with a certain idea, the more it makes sense once you master that aspect.
Once I learned about D-Charging to one shot pretty much everything that's an obstacle, the game became pretty easy. The real fun was when I was treating the SOL system like a rougelike. Slowly building up my Party XP bank, and investing in my Ant Colony to passively make me money to buy those super weapons were fun to grind for. On my first run, I got to the boss right before the final dungeon. On my second run, I got to the third to last boss before maxing out. Understanding the systems in place and how to exploit them is built into the design of Dragon Quarter. You are meant to learn about how to abuse the Dragon Form to get past road blocks. You are supposed to master layouts and trap placements to quickly navigate dungeons. You're supposed to overlevel yourself with your Party XP to blitz through early environments.
My final run I did in one sitting after grinding took about 3.5 hours to do. My equipment was amazing, I had the right skills to kill anything that stood in my way. I had only 7% at the boss that ended my run the first time, allowing me to use my Dragon form to obliterate the final dungeon. It's a feeling that only a game like this can achieve after burying yourself into mastering its systems.
When I talked about this game, I used this head ass term "osmosis of confusion", which a lot of people probably went through in the early hours of this game. Trying to figure out "Do I restart each time, is this a rougelike, what carries over". If there are any tips I can give you while playing this game is: The SOL System is New Game+ as a mechanic, treat it as such. Just like with NG+ with any other game, you get reworked dungeons, loot, enemies, and minibosses that now spawn. New story segments that better explain the narrative are only shown if you interact with this system.
After finishing this game last night, I breathe a sigh of relief. This game truly challenged me to think more than I usually would with a JRPG. The world is beautiful. The art design is at its best during the cutscenes. I didn't expect these characters to be so animated, specifically with their facial expressions. I knew the exact emotions the cast were feeling without the annoying trope of outright explaining it out loud. These characters are quite introspective and that omission of telling the player what to feel, makes this narrative more compelling. Does Ryu come to terms with this being a doomed quest? What other horrors have the council orchestrated? It's all a bit weird, but it pays off at the end with a gorgeous ending.
Yada yada ~battles could be faster, there could be more varied level design~
Though I feel the battle system fits the world of this game. This world is cold. They live underground, with monsters as their main source of food and energy. Everything fits is what I'm trying to say, and the more uncomfortable you are with a certain idea, the more it makes sense once you master that aspect.
Astro's Playroom
2020
Hearing that new video game system you’re about to buy comes with a free title designed to show off its special capabilities likely calls to mind some paltry minigame compilation à la Welcome Park on PS Vita. Sony has actually preloaded their latest home console with a full-fledged 3D collect-a-thon platformer of remarkable quality though! It may not end up being as iconic as Wii Sports, but is a very welcome member of the PS5’s library nonetheless.
It feels like a gleeful celebration of the company’s long history. Not in a supercilious, self-aggrandizing way, but in a manner more akin to sitting down with an old friend and reminiscing fond memories. Everywhere you look there’s an Easter egg or deep cut reference that’s been lovingly placed there to bring a smile to the face of any abiding PlayStation devotee while reminding them of the types of experiences they can’t get anywhere else.
As delightful as all of that is though, it’s the gameplay that matters most and if that didn’t hold up then this package would carry no value. Astro’s Playroom manages to succeed due to spacing out the stages meant to make use of the controller’s unique functions with excellent traditional ones that you can explore and grab things in at your leisure. The levels that see you tilting the DualSense and playing around with its touchpad and adaptive triggers admittedly are a tad gimmicky (especially those dang frog suit sections), but remain fun in spite of that by never outstaying their welcome.
Another aspect that really impressed me was the sheer amount of interactivity. In the starting hub area alone, you can smack all of the little Bots to have them tag along behind you and amass a huge horde of followers. What purpose does this serve? None as far as I can tell! It's just a single example of the many neat little features the devs have included that allow you to find extra amusement in engaging with your surroundings. It's something I wish more games would do.
This might also be the perfect length, striking that nice balance between charming demo you spend a little time with before moving on to the games you actually bought the console for and a more fulfilling offering that can keep you coming back for a few additional hours via the healthy amount of collectibles to hunt down. AP won't be on any top ten of the PS5's lifespan lists when all is said and done, yet is a fantastic freebie regardless that there's absolutely no reason for you to not check out if you own the hardware.
9/10
It feels like a gleeful celebration of the company’s long history. Not in a supercilious, self-aggrandizing way, but in a manner more akin to sitting down with an old friend and reminiscing fond memories. Everywhere you look there’s an Easter egg or deep cut reference that’s been lovingly placed there to bring a smile to the face of any abiding PlayStation devotee while reminding them of the types of experiences they can’t get anywhere else.
As delightful as all of that is though, it’s the gameplay that matters most and if that didn’t hold up then this package would carry no value. Astro’s Playroom manages to succeed due to spacing out the stages meant to make use of the controller’s unique functions with excellent traditional ones that you can explore and grab things in at your leisure. The levels that see you tilting the DualSense and playing around with its touchpad and adaptive triggers admittedly are a tad gimmicky (especially those dang frog suit sections), but remain fun in spite of that by never outstaying their welcome.
Another aspect that really impressed me was the sheer amount of interactivity. In the starting hub area alone, you can smack all of the little Bots to have them tag along behind you and amass a huge horde of followers. What purpose does this serve? None as far as I can tell! It's just a single example of the many neat little features the devs have included that allow you to find extra amusement in engaging with your surroundings. It's something I wish more games would do.
This might also be the perfect length, striking that nice balance between charming demo you spend a little time with before moving on to the games you actually bought the console for and a more fulfilling offering that can keep you coming back for a few additional hours via the healthy amount of collectibles to hunt down. AP won't be on any top ten of the PS5's lifespan lists when all is said and done, yet is a fantastic freebie regardless that there's absolutely no reason for you to not check out if you own the hardware.
9/10
Hylics like you and I will hang a basket over a shopkeeper’s head, ransack his life’s work from under his nose without consequence, laugh at how ridiculous this is and heap it upon the list of Skyrim’s alleged shortcomings. Game developers will look at the same situation, hang it up on their wall and adhere to it as a design philosophy.
Developers have commented on this sort of contrast between their own perspective and that of players before; most famously, designer of Civilization III and IV Soren Johnson coined the old adage of “given the opportunity, players will optimise the fun out of a game.” This is no less true of The Elder Scrolls than any other RPG, but in its case, a different sort of contrast also exists in what’re generally considered the best quests. Ask anyone what their favourite part of Skyrim is and you’ll likely hear Ill Met By Moonlight brought up, or often The Mind of Madness, or any number of the ones which incidentally lead them to discover Blackreach for the first time. In a game packed with so many spectacular highlights, who in their right mind would find themselves longing for what most of us would write off as fetch quests, rote tedium amounting to nothing more than having to collect a certain amount of a certain item? The answer’s none other than Todd Howard.
He’s completely right about this. It’s been almost ten years since I’d last played Skyrim, and I still vividly remember the relief I felt in finally coming across a random, unnamed Bosmer bandit whose blood sample was the last one I needed to complete one of the main quests. As Todd describes, I beat the quest in a time, place and manner which were all purely unique to me, which – despite the apparent mundanity of collecting different races’ blood samples – is more than enough to have firmly embedded it in my brain as much as any Daedric artefact hunt or murder mystery or mediation of a truce between two sides of a civil war.
What this speaks to is the greatest strength of Skyrim and Bethesda’s catalogue in general: experiential value. Radiant AI’s long been the butt of jokes, largely thanks to Skyrim’s big brother in particular, but the fact that it enables these games to effectively react to themselves and create genuinely dynamic situations no two people will come across is probably taken for granted. To make an open world feel alive and lived-in’s an elusive undertaking, but even so much as attempting a system like this puts Skyrim several steps ahead of near enough everything else outside of its own series. As invariable as it is that your Dragonborn will eventually become a stealth archer (in part because of how much character building’s been watered down compared to its predecessors), unique, organic experiences and roleplaying opportunities still abound thanks to it.
Both frontrunners for all sorts of industry awards last year were also dark fantasy action-adventure games with RPG elements and emphasis on exploration. There’s absolutely nothing in either of them remotely as cool as being able to ride a dragon and have it fight another dragon in the sky in a battle that can end up seamlessly spanning an entire province, which you can also explore nearly every inch of and interact with nearly any object in on foot (on 7th gen hardware, no less). This is the same game that lets me eke out a quiet life as a married woodcutter with a hoard of cheese wheels of dubious origin in my cellar, or Tamriel’s most indirect serial killer who instigates fights throughout the province by leaving valuables in the street, or an opportunistic necromancer who employs nearby corpses to solve all combat encounters for me, or an Altmeri master thief who stalks and then knicks the belongings of any and all Bosmer I run into because the Thalmor aren’t extreme enough for his taste, or essentially anything else I can imagine. At every turn, on every playthrough, is the stuff you’d see on the cover of a classic fantasy adventure book, something I’d wager only one other game released since Skyrim can lay claim to.
It’s for these reasons that I’ve not given Skyrim a numerical score. Until this revisit I had it logged as a 3/5, which in my view is “just alright,” but there’s two problems with calling Skyrim just alright. For one, games which actually are only just alright don’t have even a fraction of the longevity Skyrim’s demonstrated in so many different metrics, and two, what standard are we comparing it to to arrive at the idea that it isn’t much more than that? There’s no other game that does what Skyrim does, exactly like Skyrim does, but better. You don’t have to love it to recognise that; as of the time of writing, Skyrim isn’t even my second favourite TES, but not even its own predecessors fit the bill since all of them are so starkly different both from it and from each other.
You can easily point to better alternatives for specific, individual aspects of Skyrim. Dragon’s Dogma puts its combat to shame and even features an NPC relationship system more in line with Oblivion’s. Its quests would be more rewarding if it were designed like an immersive sim so that attempted solutions like this would actually work. Its dialogue system’s arguably even more limited than Fallout 4’s, without the excuse of being burdened by a voiced protagonist. The lack of a climbing system like Daggerfall’s or Breath of the Wild’s feels more and more conspicuous every time you bump into invisible walls on slight inclines. The aforementioned simplified character building means that the days of leaping across Vvardenfell or Cyrodiil in a single jump are sadly long past us. It goes on, and on, and on.
Skyrim’s so evergreen despite plenty more issues than just these because there’s no holistic package that compares. There’s being bloated, and then there’s offering such a wealth of varied gameplay opportunities each delivered to a (in the grand scheme of things) relatively high standard that you learn to tolerate its many dozens of cracks. Your favourite game, and mine, probably doesn’t have worldbuilding this well-considered, feature any areas that compare to Sovngarde musically or visually, let you live out the idyllic mammoth farmer lifestyle we all secretly pine for, and/or suplex talking cats. This picture looks like a joke at first glance, but you’ll eventually come to realise how true it is.
~ GetRelationshipRank <ProudLittleSeal> 0 I work for Belethor, at the general goods store.
Developers have commented on this sort of contrast between their own perspective and that of players before; most famously, designer of Civilization III and IV Soren Johnson coined the old adage of “given the opportunity, players will optimise the fun out of a game.” This is no less true of The Elder Scrolls than any other RPG, but in its case, a different sort of contrast also exists in what’re generally considered the best quests. Ask anyone what their favourite part of Skyrim is and you’ll likely hear Ill Met By Moonlight brought up, or often The Mind of Madness, or any number of the ones which incidentally lead them to discover Blackreach for the first time. In a game packed with so many spectacular highlights, who in their right mind would find themselves longing for what most of us would write off as fetch quests, rote tedium amounting to nothing more than having to collect a certain amount of a certain item? The answer’s none other than Todd Howard.
He’s completely right about this. It’s been almost ten years since I’d last played Skyrim, and I still vividly remember the relief I felt in finally coming across a random, unnamed Bosmer bandit whose blood sample was the last one I needed to complete one of the main quests. As Todd describes, I beat the quest in a time, place and manner which were all purely unique to me, which – despite the apparent mundanity of collecting different races’ blood samples – is more than enough to have firmly embedded it in my brain as much as any Daedric artefact hunt or murder mystery or mediation of a truce between two sides of a civil war.
What this speaks to is the greatest strength of Skyrim and Bethesda’s catalogue in general: experiential value. Radiant AI’s long been the butt of jokes, largely thanks to Skyrim’s big brother in particular, but the fact that it enables these games to effectively react to themselves and create genuinely dynamic situations no two people will come across is probably taken for granted. To make an open world feel alive and lived-in’s an elusive undertaking, but even so much as attempting a system like this puts Skyrim several steps ahead of near enough everything else outside of its own series. As invariable as it is that your Dragonborn will eventually become a stealth archer (in part because of how much character building’s been watered down compared to its predecessors), unique, organic experiences and roleplaying opportunities still abound thanks to it.
Both frontrunners for all sorts of industry awards last year were also dark fantasy action-adventure games with RPG elements and emphasis on exploration. There’s absolutely nothing in either of them remotely as cool as being able to ride a dragon and have it fight another dragon in the sky in a battle that can end up seamlessly spanning an entire province, which you can also explore nearly every inch of and interact with nearly any object in on foot (on 7th gen hardware, no less). This is the same game that lets me eke out a quiet life as a married woodcutter with a hoard of cheese wheels of dubious origin in my cellar, or Tamriel’s most indirect serial killer who instigates fights throughout the province by leaving valuables in the street, or an opportunistic necromancer who employs nearby corpses to solve all combat encounters for me, or an Altmeri master thief who stalks and then knicks the belongings of any and all Bosmer I run into because the Thalmor aren’t extreme enough for his taste, or essentially anything else I can imagine. At every turn, on every playthrough, is the stuff you’d see on the cover of a classic fantasy adventure book, something I’d wager only one other game released since Skyrim can lay claim to.
It’s for these reasons that I’ve not given Skyrim a numerical score. Until this revisit I had it logged as a 3/5, which in my view is “just alright,” but there’s two problems with calling Skyrim just alright. For one, games which actually are only just alright don’t have even a fraction of the longevity Skyrim’s demonstrated in so many different metrics, and two, what standard are we comparing it to to arrive at the idea that it isn’t much more than that? There’s no other game that does what Skyrim does, exactly like Skyrim does, but better. You don’t have to love it to recognise that; as of the time of writing, Skyrim isn’t even my second favourite TES, but not even its own predecessors fit the bill since all of them are so starkly different both from it and from each other.
You can easily point to better alternatives for specific, individual aspects of Skyrim. Dragon’s Dogma puts its combat to shame and even features an NPC relationship system more in line with Oblivion’s. Its quests would be more rewarding if it were designed like an immersive sim so that attempted solutions like this would actually work. Its dialogue system’s arguably even more limited than Fallout 4’s, without the excuse of being burdened by a voiced protagonist. The lack of a climbing system like Daggerfall’s or Breath of the Wild’s feels more and more conspicuous every time you bump into invisible walls on slight inclines. The aforementioned simplified character building means that the days of leaping across Vvardenfell or Cyrodiil in a single jump are sadly long past us. It goes on, and on, and on.
Skyrim’s so evergreen despite plenty more issues than just these because there’s no holistic package that compares. There’s being bloated, and then there’s offering such a wealth of varied gameplay opportunities each delivered to a (in the grand scheme of things) relatively high standard that you learn to tolerate its many dozens of cracks. Your favourite game, and mine, probably doesn’t have worldbuilding this well-considered, feature any areas that compare to Sovngarde musically or visually, let you live out the idyllic mammoth farmer lifestyle we all secretly pine for, and/or suplex talking cats. This picture looks like a joke at first glance, but you’ll eventually come to realise how true it is.
~ GetRelationshipRank <ProudLittleSeal> 0 I work for Belethor, at the general goods store.
Where’s Geno
Mega Man X8
2004
This review contains spoilers
I'm conflicted.
Out of all of the Mega Man X games, X8 is the one that has so many things that I love about it yet also has some damning aspects that drag the experience down for me.
Let me start with the positives: This game has the best controls out of any X game. The characters feel so smooth and fun to control. I don't really know how to describe it, but it feels so fun to play around with the characters and their abilities more than every other game in the series. Speaking of which, X, Zero, and Axl all feel really balanced in this game and they all have distinct characteristics that make them stand out. X has the charge shot and can equip his set of armors but can only shoot straightforward, Axl can shoot in 8 directions but can’t charge his weapons, and Zero has his collection of swords and double jump but has the shortest dash length. They all have their pros and cons and it doesn't feel like one character has a much bigger advantage or disadvantage over the other. The game also brings back the partner mechanic from X7 and improves upon it, as you can now swap out a character to refill their health whenever they're damaged. It's such a fun mechanic, probably my favorite thing introduced in this game if I'm being honest. It just kinda baffles me that we went from X7, which had the worst controls and mechanics in the series, to X8, which had the best.
I also love the new shop system they implemented into this game. No more heart tanks, sub tanks, or rescuable reploids that may give you items at the end of a stage; now you purchase items and abilities with the metals you earn from the stages. It's a fun system that gives light to a new gameplay idea and gets rid of a formula that became stale by the 6th entry.
The bosses are a lot of fun as well, as they now have invulnerability frames so that you don't kill them so easily and have phases so they don't end up repeating the same mundane patterns over and over again. I'm not saying the bosses in the previous games were bad (aside from X7, of course) but you could kill them easily with their weaknesses, which is a little lame.
Another aspect are the list of quality of life improvements this game provided. First off, there is more than one navigator now; Alia gives usual advice to newcomers about tips on the stages, but now there are two new navigators: Layer and Palette. Layer will give you tips on the bosses, and Palette will provide hints on finding items in the stages. And if you don't want any navigation, you can always go into a stage without a navigator, which is very nice feature. I also love that you can mix and match X's armor sets to however you wish. The two new armors in this game, the Icarus and the Hermes armor, are already fun to use on their own, with the Icarus armor being more offensive oriented while the Hermes armor is more defensive oriented. However, because X is given the neutral armor near the start of the game, you can customize X with whatever parts you want on him. I personally just put the Icarus armor on him throughout most of my playthrough, but to each their own. You can even quit a level even if you haven't finished it yet; such a small change that goes a LONG way.
Lastly, I would like to talk about the characterization. I LOVE the character interactions in this game. I love seeing moments like X being so serious about taking down sigma and stopping the war, or Zero exchanging to Layer about the events of X5, or Axl maturing from the events of X7, or Vile being an evil son of bitch in front of the heroes. X8 just has a lot of great characters moments that made me smile, and, again, coming off of X7, makes me wonder how the team characterized X so poorly in that game.
So, all of this sounds like X8 is an amazing game, right? Well, no. The thing is is that X8 drops the ball on some aspects that drag the game down considerably.
First off, a lot of the level design isn't that great. There are a couple of levels that I did enjoy, namely Bamboo Pandemonium's stage, where you have carry a ride armor around because it will help you reach alternate paths in the level, and Dark Mantis's stage, where you have to sneak around search lights so you don't get caught and be forced into fighting a large array of enemies. However most of them just aren't fun; Earthrock Trilobyte's stage has you being chased by a giant robot that you eventually have to chase yourself through the same level design you just played. Then there's Burn Rooster's stage where you have to go through long vertical autoscrolling sections and also go through a tedious platforming section full of spikes that will instikill you unless you have a prickle barrier equipped. But the worst stage to me was Gigabolt Man-O-War 's stage (which btw, what the fuck are these maverick names? “Bamboo Pandemonium”, “Earthrock Trilobyte”, and now “Gigavolt Man-O-War”; who came up with these?), where you have to go through this shooter section, in which you have to chase the maverick by boosting up and shooting him; this is easier said than done because I have no idea what is happening while playing through the level as there is so much shit to maneuver around and the maverick keeps getting farther away from you every second. And once you finish that portion, you just fight the boss and that's the end of the stage ... cool I love it when a level has no items to collect; it's such a great use of my time.
Speaking of which, that's another problem with X8, the matter of collecting items. So, I did praise the shop system earlier, but it comes at a major price: X8's item game is over complicated. Aside from Gigavolt Man-o-War's stage, every stage has at least one rare metal, which will give you upgrades for you to purchase in the shop. However, they are hidden throughout the stage and require you to have certain weapons from other mavericks to be able to access them. This means that you have to do a LOT of backtracking, which kills the replayability aspect of this game. Yeah sure, I can just not collect some of the rare metals on future playthroughs, but I love collecting all the items in X games; I think it's a satisfying achievement to be able to get every item and beat the game with everything at your disposal. So for X8 to have its item game be such a chore is very disappointing to me. It's one of the reasons why I didn't really care for X5 that much; it's because the backtracking was atrocious. This isn't even factoring in retry chips, which I don't mind the idea of, I think having a limited number of tries per stage is actually a cool idea. The problem is that once you're out of retry chips, you have to go through both the results and menu screens, select the same stage that you were just playing, select your characters and navigator, and start the whole stage all over again. At that point, why not just have a 'retry stage' selection; yeah sure I would have to replay the whole stage again, but at least I wouldn't have to keep doing the same stuff I just mentioned ad nauseam. Top that off with how, as mentioned before, a lot of stages aren't that fun to play on and it just makes X8 feel like a mess.
Lastly, I want to briefly touch upon the story. Basically, a new generation of reploids have inherited the copy chip like Axl, and this new character named Lumine reveals that he wants to use something called the Jakob project to lead a new generation of reploids with this ability, as they are able to go maverick at will, and dispose of the old generation of reploids. However, throughout most of the game, you're tricked into thinking Sigma is behind the whole plan as Lumine gets kidnapped by Vile at the beginning of the game. This is actually a pretty cool idea for a story, but the problem with it is that it's just kinda forgettable, as most of it involves the characters believing Sigma is behind the plan and it doesn't really go anywhere until the Lumine reveal. There isn't much discussion in the game involving the new generation of reploids and when there is it once again has to do with Sigma. I don't know, maybe I'm just not getting this story and it's actually good because I've seen some people like it, but I just don't vibe with it. The way I would personally describe X8's plot is that it involves great characters in a story with little direction.
Overall, X8 is a game that I'm VERY mixed on. I think positives out way the negatives, as the game has tight controls, great mechanics, fun bosses, and refined shop system, but it lets me down with its level design, backtracking oriented item game, and story. And that saddens me because this was the last mainline X game to ever be released (I don't count Maverick Hunter X because that's a remake), and it sucks that I don't enjoy it nearly as much as the first four X games. And watching the cliffhanger of this game ends on makes me want to enjoy this game more than I do because there is so much you can do with this series of games. At the end of the day, I think X8 is a good game, and I would much rather play this again than the last three X games, but man, talk about a disappointing way to end Mega Man X.
With that being said, PLEASE CAPCOM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE US MEGA MAN X9, I'M BEGGING YOU!!!
Out of all of the Mega Man X games, X8 is the one that has so many things that I love about it yet also has some damning aspects that drag the experience down for me.
Let me start with the positives: This game has the best controls out of any X game. The characters feel so smooth and fun to control. I don't really know how to describe it, but it feels so fun to play around with the characters and their abilities more than every other game in the series. Speaking of which, X, Zero, and Axl all feel really balanced in this game and they all have distinct characteristics that make them stand out. X has the charge shot and can equip his set of armors but can only shoot straightforward, Axl can shoot in 8 directions but can’t charge his weapons, and Zero has his collection of swords and double jump but has the shortest dash length. They all have their pros and cons and it doesn't feel like one character has a much bigger advantage or disadvantage over the other. The game also brings back the partner mechanic from X7 and improves upon it, as you can now swap out a character to refill their health whenever they're damaged. It's such a fun mechanic, probably my favorite thing introduced in this game if I'm being honest. It just kinda baffles me that we went from X7, which had the worst controls and mechanics in the series, to X8, which had the best.
I also love the new shop system they implemented into this game. No more heart tanks, sub tanks, or rescuable reploids that may give you items at the end of a stage; now you purchase items and abilities with the metals you earn from the stages. It's a fun system that gives light to a new gameplay idea and gets rid of a formula that became stale by the 6th entry.
The bosses are a lot of fun as well, as they now have invulnerability frames so that you don't kill them so easily and have phases so they don't end up repeating the same mundane patterns over and over again. I'm not saying the bosses in the previous games were bad (aside from X7, of course) but you could kill them easily with their weaknesses, which is a little lame.
Another aspect are the list of quality of life improvements this game provided. First off, there is more than one navigator now; Alia gives usual advice to newcomers about tips on the stages, but now there are two new navigators: Layer and Palette. Layer will give you tips on the bosses, and Palette will provide hints on finding items in the stages. And if you don't want any navigation, you can always go into a stage without a navigator, which is very nice feature. I also love that you can mix and match X's armor sets to however you wish. The two new armors in this game, the Icarus and the Hermes armor, are already fun to use on their own, with the Icarus armor being more offensive oriented while the Hermes armor is more defensive oriented. However, because X is given the neutral armor near the start of the game, you can customize X with whatever parts you want on him. I personally just put the Icarus armor on him throughout most of my playthrough, but to each their own. You can even quit a level even if you haven't finished it yet; such a small change that goes a LONG way.
Lastly, I would like to talk about the characterization. I LOVE the character interactions in this game. I love seeing moments like X being so serious about taking down sigma and stopping the war, or Zero exchanging to Layer about the events of X5, or Axl maturing from the events of X7, or Vile being an evil son of bitch in front of the heroes. X8 just has a lot of great characters moments that made me smile, and, again, coming off of X7, makes me wonder how the team characterized X so poorly in that game.
So, all of this sounds like X8 is an amazing game, right? Well, no. The thing is is that X8 drops the ball on some aspects that drag the game down considerably.
First off, a lot of the level design isn't that great. There are a couple of levels that I did enjoy, namely Bamboo Pandemonium's stage, where you have carry a ride armor around because it will help you reach alternate paths in the level, and Dark Mantis's stage, where you have to sneak around search lights so you don't get caught and be forced into fighting a large array of enemies. However most of them just aren't fun; Earthrock Trilobyte's stage has you being chased by a giant robot that you eventually have to chase yourself through the same level design you just played. Then there's Burn Rooster's stage where you have to go through long vertical autoscrolling sections and also go through a tedious platforming section full of spikes that will instikill you unless you have a prickle barrier equipped. But the worst stage to me was Gigabolt Man-O-War 's stage (which btw, what the fuck are these maverick names? “Bamboo Pandemonium”, “Earthrock Trilobyte”, and now “Gigavolt Man-O-War”; who came up with these?), where you have to go through this shooter section, in which you have to chase the maverick by boosting up and shooting him; this is easier said than done because I have no idea what is happening while playing through the level as there is so much shit to maneuver around and the maverick keeps getting farther away from you every second. And once you finish that portion, you just fight the boss and that's the end of the stage ... cool I love it when a level has no items to collect; it's such a great use of my time.
Speaking of which, that's another problem with X8, the matter of collecting items. So, I did praise the shop system earlier, but it comes at a major price: X8's item game is over complicated. Aside from Gigavolt Man-o-War's stage, every stage has at least one rare metal, which will give you upgrades for you to purchase in the shop. However, they are hidden throughout the stage and require you to have certain weapons from other mavericks to be able to access them. This means that you have to do a LOT of backtracking, which kills the replayability aspect of this game. Yeah sure, I can just not collect some of the rare metals on future playthroughs, but I love collecting all the items in X games; I think it's a satisfying achievement to be able to get every item and beat the game with everything at your disposal. So for X8 to have its item game be such a chore is very disappointing to me. It's one of the reasons why I didn't really care for X5 that much; it's because the backtracking was atrocious. This isn't even factoring in retry chips, which I don't mind the idea of, I think having a limited number of tries per stage is actually a cool idea. The problem is that once you're out of retry chips, you have to go through both the results and menu screens, select the same stage that you were just playing, select your characters and navigator, and start the whole stage all over again. At that point, why not just have a 'retry stage' selection; yeah sure I would have to replay the whole stage again, but at least I wouldn't have to keep doing the same stuff I just mentioned ad nauseam. Top that off with how, as mentioned before, a lot of stages aren't that fun to play on and it just makes X8 feel like a mess.
Lastly, I want to briefly touch upon the story. Basically, a new generation of reploids have inherited the copy chip like Axl, and this new character named Lumine reveals that he wants to use something called the Jakob project to lead a new generation of reploids with this ability, as they are able to go maverick at will, and dispose of the old generation of reploids. However, throughout most of the game, you're tricked into thinking Sigma is behind the whole plan as Lumine gets kidnapped by Vile at the beginning of the game. This is actually a pretty cool idea for a story, but the problem with it is that it's just kinda forgettable, as most of it involves the characters believing Sigma is behind the plan and it doesn't really go anywhere until the Lumine reveal. There isn't much discussion in the game involving the new generation of reploids and when there is it once again has to do with Sigma. I don't know, maybe I'm just not getting this story and it's actually good because I've seen some people like it, but I just don't vibe with it. The way I would personally describe X8's plot is that it involves great characters in a story with little direction.
Overall, X8 is a game that I'm VERY mixed on. I think positives out way the negatives, as the game has tight controls, great mechanics, fun bosses, and refined shop system, but it lets me down with its level design, backtracking oriented item game, and story. And that saddens me because this was the last mainline X game to ever be released (I don't count Maverick Hunter X because that's a remake), and it sucks that I don't enjoy it nearly as much as the first four X games. And watching the cliffhanger of this game ends on makes me want to enjoy this game more than I do because there is so much you can do with this series of games. At the end of the day, I think X8 is a good game, and I would much rather play this again than the last three X games, but man, talk about a disappointing way to end Mega Man X.
With that being said, PLEASE CAPCOM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE US MEGA MAN X9, I'M BEGGING YOU!!!
Mega Man X8
2004
Capcom try not to have their Megaman sub-series end on a cliffhanger/have an unfulfilling ending challenge
Burger Burger
1997
We're already losing 2,000,000 yen a week. The kind blue alien I hired expresses his concerns about our operating costs. I invest doubly in ingredients. Burger production is up 20% but nobody is buying. The regional manager of McDonald's is threatening to sue for copyright infringement. Our logo is a capital M on a red background. My alien employee checks the ledgers. We realize we never opened our first location. Where is all the money going? We build our flagship restaurant in a residential district.
The month passes. My employee appears to be doubting my management abilities and so I commit to investing 50% of our profits into employee education. We make no profits. We open another location. We hire no one. Every valuable plot in town is being bought up by rival burger chains. They all flounder. Townsfolk flood the streets on Saturday nights and yet none of them stop to buy burgers. Production costs spike as we introduce twelve new menu items simultaneously.
Another month passes. We start a juggling campaign to attract customers. Miraculously, we earn our first profit. I give my sole employee a 50k yen bonus. It cancels out the profit. The novelty of our jugglers wears thin. Faces stream past our windows but nobody walks through our doors. We inexplicably receive an invitation to the Hamburger Awards. Competition is so poor that nobody wins anything. The MC spends the entire night talking about his niece. We close the week having gone through 80% of our initial funding.
Yet another month goes by. I consider replacing our entire menu with burger-themed merchandise. A local wholesaler stops in to offer us his product. He senses our desperation. As a result we invent a burger made entirely of ketchup. It costs us 1,000,000 yen in R&D. Nobody buys it. We spiral deeper into the red. Our reserves near empty. My employee stops showing up to work. I receive a postcard. He is vacationing in Thailand. He encourages me to give up the business before it is too late. I conduct a survey. I am told our brand is unappealing to the youth. Nobody wants to buy burgers anymore. Someone suggests we sell salads instead.
The last month passes and our funds hit zero. No one remains to give me the monthly summary. Instead, I find myself in an empty office, staring out at crowded streets full of people with no love for burgers. Two men knock on my door, here to inform me of the foreclosure of our last location. They hand me a letter on burger-watermarked paper and I sign my name. I understand. This is life. This is Burger Burger.
The month passes. My employee appears to be doubting my management abilities and so I commit to investing 50% of our profits into employee education. We make no profits. We open another location. We hire no one. Every valuable plot in town is being bought up by rival burger chains. They all flounder. Townsfolk flood the streets on Saturday nights and yet none of them stop to buy burgers. Production costs spike as we introduce twelve new menu items simultaneously.
Another month passes. We start a juggling campaign to attract customers. Miraculously, we earn our first profit. I give my sole employee a 50k yen bonus. It cancels out the profit. The novelty of our jugglers wears thin. Faces stream past our windows but nobody walks through our doors. We inexplicably receive an invitation to the Hamburger Awards. Competition is so poor that nobody wins anything. The MC spends the entire night talking about his niece. We close the week having gone through 80% of our initial funding.
Yet another month goes by. I consider replacing our entire menu with burger-themed merchandise. A local wholesaler stops in to offer us his product. He senses our desperation. As a result we invent a burger made entirely of ketchup. It costs us 1,000,000 yen in R&D. Nobody buys it. We spiral deeper into the red. Our reserves near empty. My employee stops showing up to work. I receive a postcard. He is vacationing in Thailand. He encourages me to give up the business before it is too late. I conduct a survey. I am told our brand is unappealing to the youth. Nobody wants to buy burgers anymore. Someone suggests we sell salads instead.
The last month passes and our funds hit zero. No one remains to give me the monthly summary. Instead, I find myself in an empty office, staring out at crowded streets full of people with no love for burgers. Two men knock on my door, here to inform me of the foreclosure of our last location. They hand me a letter on burger-watermarked paper and I sign my name. I understand. This is life. This is Burger Burger.
Mega Man X7
2003
to move away from the obvious “yeah this sucks,” i do wanna highlight how there really was a genuine attempt at making a defining title in the series; i can tell the environments wanted to express its predecessor’s tropes in a more unique way, but ultimately beg to be put out of their misery when clashed with unmemorable level design and annoying hazards. i can tell the devs did try and put their all into this but with their lack of knowledge in mega man and the genre, it was inevitably going to miss its mark at least by some margin. to say this is “one of the worst games of all time” is giving X7 way too much recognition. it’s one of those games where i just kinda shrug when it’s over. it’s not offensively bad in a way where i’m left angry. i was probably way more frustrated with games like NMH2 and DmC. X7 is just, disappointing. though i still do question how it ended up like this. the dev team stated they wanted to focus on “getting 3D right,” but any person attuned to games can tell you right off the bat that everything feels off. the controls are sluggish and the inherent satisfaction of landing jumps is completely lost. i wish there was some more documentation of the actual development because it’s almost like another DMC2 situation. devs who were inexperienced with said series and only had the previous game to go off of. i noticed there was some weird fixation with trying to make the game better than X6 at minimum. hindsight is a bitch. i can’t even give X7 funny points because, while yes that one youtube clip you saw screaming BURN was funny out of context, actually playing said clip i found to be quite miserable. did the devs just not care enough to fix it? who playtested this and said ‘yeah i NEED the boss to not only try and kill me but also my eardrums too.’ most of the game is this strange sensory overload both audibly and visually. a damn shame too since the soundtrack is up there as one of my favorites in the franchise. there isn’t a whole lot to be said on X7 at this point but i do think there’s been too much said on it. seriously does not deserve the attention it so comically receives. it’s super funny apparently to talk about and recommended this game when you’re someone who hasn’t played it. it’s just simply a sad game in my eyes.
Mega Man X7
2003
It's an absolutely broken mess of a game but Flame Hyenard boss fight is something that needs to be experienced first-hand, youtube videos don't do this fight justice