''Everyone knew that. I'm...Cloud. The master of my own illusionary world. But I can't remain trapped in an illusion anymore... I'm going to live my life without pretending''

FF7 was a unique experience, one that I'm still trying to wrap my head around & my thoughts & feelings on it are still scattered throughout, disconnected & lost in the endless cosmos of my mind, but maybe it's because of that disjointed state of mind that I connected with Cloud's identity crisis on such a sacred level. It almost felt eerie but to put it into words, the part of Cloud that I saw myself in the most was his inability to face the truth in his identity, strive to discover who he is, & was comfortable with indulging in the idea that he is someone he isn't at all to escape his conflicts & abandoned the effort to uncover the truth since it maybe too painful. The idea that maybe if I was someone else, maybe if I started anew as an entirely different person who's less pathetic and less weaker with more to offer & was strong enough to help others by any means, I'd get the love and the warmth of acceptance by everyone that I yearn for, and I wouldn't feel so alien & disconnected. Such a faulty, twisted desire has been immortalized in my mind, and living in an environment where I'm always put down to praise someone else only strengthened it more. But it's exactly because of that that I was able to wholeheartedly relate to FF7's usage of the concept of memories as a backdrop for Cloud's character conclusion. Memories are the proof that we exist in both the real world and in people's eyes. No matter how fiercely we struggle to believe that our existence isn't worthless, they are the proof that we existed somewhere, & have impacted someone in someway. But it's exactly because of that that we need connections with others & loved ones to make memories with. It's a simple message, but the idea that as long as there are people with you, who have fond memories of you and vice versa, you'll always be able to exist & achieve self discovery, strikes a deep chord in my soul since I always dread the truth of my identity and how much it can crush me. It's why Cloud inspires me so much, because if someone who had a large portion of his life be artificially made & live his life as a fake puppet for so long, can achieve solace and make fond memories with people he loves and is loved by after a cruel journey of self discovery, then maybe I can find something fond & genuine too