Got a chance to finally play this infamous game.
Ngl: I expected worse. Like: WAY worse.
It still doesn't mean it's a great game by any means lol, it's the kind of game that will test your gaming sensitivity at insane levels. And I mean stuff like Bubsy's unbalanced dumb walking/running speed and managing to beat the level but dying while succeeding it because of falling damage.

FALLING.
DAMAGE.
In a fucking platform.

Ah yes, on top of that: one hit and you're dead.

Here's a thing that will sound blasphemous still: this goddamn franchise...was the closest thing of having a Crash Bandicoot for SNES. I know it sounds crazy and dumb, but my point is very simple: Bubsy animations and expressivity reaches Crash's ones alright.
I know one is objectively a series with only crappy to mediocre platforms, something that can't allow this unlucky creature to the "videogame olympus" alongside Mario, Sonic, Crash Bandicoot himself etc.
So just for being the first game and attempt I'm willing to give the equivalent of a 5/10.

The backloggd tagline for this game is certainly accurate alright. We sure have waited long enough for this game, I think almost 5 years judging by the date of the initial reveal teaser. Come October 2022, all the many excruciating years of waiting and coping with "there is no news" memes had finally come to a close. Although not necessarily helping things is the major voice acting controversy that came towards the tail end of the game's release, with the original Bayonetta voice actress Helena Taylor...basically lying saying she was getting paid for much less than usual. I never really got around to playing and finishing this until a few months after launch (I had too many games on backlog to finish that I was more interested in playing), which is...notably bizarre. Bayonetta is one of my favorite franchises...EVER. Why would I ever want to hold off on playing the long awaited 3rd entry in this franchise? Maybe it was all the controversies surrounding the VA and even the story that deterred me from playing at least somewhat.

I mean if we're gonna start off this review talking about the story, I don't really have much to say on this matter...or, wait, actually I do. It sucks. In fact, I would go as far as to say it REALLY sucks, and part of that reason is because it's just so...boring and repetitive. You see the same sort of things play out over and over again, Singularity is a forgettable villain with not much to his motivations outside of "I'm bad and I want to destroy da world", a lot of big reveals and dramatic revelations ring incredibly hollow because you don't really care about what's going on, and there are even issues I have beyond that. Bayo's personality herself is so much...lesser than what it was in 1 and 2, and idk how much of this is just because "oh we're playing a different Bayo from a different Universe" or whatever. And yeah...a big part of that is the acting. Look, I know Helena is never ever ever ever ever going to come back, she screwed over her own chances basically permanently. And I think Jennifer Hale does a decent enough job playing Bayo, she has a couple of cool deliveries and she'll only get better and more experienced with time, but that's the problem. Currently it just sounds like she's PLAYING a character instead of BEING a character. There's so much confident playfulness and energy in Helena's performance that's just not here at all, it feels empty. I do like Viola a whole lot though. Maybe not so much them shoehorning her to ||REDACTED|| but I just love her goofball dorky personality and her voice actress did a great job with her too. There are some good highlights that put a smile on my face, either for the sake of zany silliness or the overall hype factor of "WTF WHAT JUST HAPPENED", but these moments should be just that: moments. Things to supplement what should've been an otherwise engaging narrative. I mean I know Bayonetta stories don't exactly have a good pedigree, but man at the very least I actually KINDA felt something with the previous 2 stories, this story had me feeling empty and devoid of interest. Overall though the story was just mostly boring and repetitive fluff that also managed to piss off a lot of fans for a multitude of reasons. Maaaaaaybe later games can correct, fix or "explain" to try and help the events of 3's story seem less bleh, but at this point I just want a story I can get invested in, and this fails to deliver on almost all fronts.

But of course, Bayonetta excels as a game first and foremost. So how exactly does this element hold up? To tell you the truth it's somewhat...mixed. For one I can say I appreciate how fresh and innovative this game is, it feels less like a tired sequel just doing its thing and going through the motions, it feels like there was a genuine effort to reinvent the wheel and see how many new ways they can improve the game, it's just that not all of it works. I mean, if we're talking raw combat, it's arguably the best this franchise has seen thus far. You once again have a multitude of attacks at your disposal (honestly to an overwhelming degree), with all sorts of heavy finishers, launchers, ground to air combos, combos with special properties, pause delayed combos, etc. Witch Time is back to how it was in Bayo 1, enemies behave better than 2 so no more of that pesky permablocking out of your attacks, and good lord the weapon variety is out of this world. You get stuff like a spinning fire yo yo, a microphone stand that can give you stat buffs temporarily, a magician hat and wand that can do literal magic tricks, razor sharp fans and even a chainsaw that looks like a choo choo train...a trainsaw, if you will. There's so much crazy variety to the combos you can pull off, even if you can't equip different parts to your hands and feet anymore, they're more so just static weapon sets you switch between. Demon masquerade is the first new mechanic introduced and it's basically just the different wicked weaves like before, though instead of summoning the limbs of a demon to initiate the finisher, Bayo transforms into a demon to perform the finisher herself. The main difference lies in the different forms of traversal. Personally I thought the butterfly form's glide and dash were all I needed but I really liked swinging on the spider form like a grotesque Spider-Woman, and seeing Bayo dress up as a half demon conductor half train hybrid was equal parts disturbing and hilarious. All this is great and all but unfortunately, much like DMC4, good combat alone is not enough to prop up an entire campaign: there has to be good elements around it to make the package a cohesive highlight.

The second new mechanic is Demon Slave, Bayonetta literally controls the Infernal Demons directly like a puppetmaster and has them fight the enemy directly. Bayonetta herself is completely vulnerable to attacks while she dances to control them. This gameplay mechanic is not something I enjoy, even in this game. Like, I do think it's more fun and is better handled than V's gameplay in DMC5, and there are some neat quirks to it like being able to cancel out of it entirely to swap back and forth, and even the ability to queue up attacks while you use Bayo herself, but fundamentally I don't think controlling someone else to attack for you has ever once felt right, especially in a game like this. It feels incredibly sluggish, disjointed and honestly somewhat disorienting, because you're not the one initiating these attacks directly, you have someone else do it. There is some cool interplay you can do with Bayo's standard combat arsenal and Demon Slave, how you can use DS to stun otherwise giant heavy enemies unaffected by Bayo herself, and by doing so you can seamlessly launch and juggle them as normal Bayo. There's a lot of crazy creative setups by people pushing to be Donguri level MLG pro at this game which is great, and you can even use the summons as a secondary finish with Wink Slave, something introduced in Astral Chain a while back. The problem is that the game...doesn't really WANT you to do this. The scoring system is so heavily skewered to you spamming Demon Slave to get a platinum or above, and that just isn't fun. When I'm busy styling on regular common enemies with different weapon switches and maybe an infernal summon startup combo every now and then, only to be greeted by a gold medal because I didn't use the giant monsters enough, I start to get deflated. On top of this, the camera stays locked where Bayonetta is so trying to figure out what direction these big lugs are facing even further complicates things, particularly an annoyance with the Umbran Clock Tower.

Speaking of the camera...jeez louise guys, what happened here? It's so easy for the camera to be lost or obscured by basically everything, because the game constantly has you fight enemies that fill up the entire screen and has you fight them with allies that...ALSO fill up the entire screen. Everything becomes far too cluttered and unintelligible far too often. What's worse, you can also get completely blindsided by something OFF SCREEN. This is just baffling to me considering that this WASN'T an issue in the previous 2 games, because they did the DMC thing where enemies stop attacking when they're off camera, but here I guess they just forgot?

Viola is the new playable character, and while she is fun (her katana is satisfying to use), she feels less like a unique character and more so just a slightly different Bayonetta. To bring up an analogy, Nero in DMC4 and 5 had things that separated him from Dante, not only did he have his buster and devil bringer as an enemy grapple and shield breaking attack (and in 5 he has the breakers that each have different abilities), but he ALSO had Red Queen's unique properties of having every attack have different stages of "charge" you could rev up mid combo that changed how they executed. The problem with Viola is that Bayonetta can do...pretty much everything Viola can already do. A fast slashing weapon? She has that. You can charge it for more damage? She has that too. Parry for Witch Time? There's an accessory. A single demon summon? Bayo has like 15 of em and can swap between 3 equipped demons seamlessly. The most unique thing about Viola is her faerie form (which is somewhat different than the standard super attack Bayo can perform) and the fact that her one demon, Cheshire, attacks automatically; Viola doesn't control him. Meaning she can actually attack independently while Cheshire does his own thing, albeit she fights bare handed without her katana. I kinda like this idea, and barring wink slave I do wish you could have more interplay with Cheshire in general.

This game's structure is largely the same, chapter based point A to point B levels with verses to be graded on to evaluate the chapter's overall performance, but this time they decided to make the levels absolutely ENORMOUS. Most of this was done to accommodate for Demon Slave but this unfortunately has a negative impact on traversal as levels take too long to meander through and finish. There's a surplus of extra stuff to find per usual: Niflheim portals, Umbran tears of blood (this time as different animals than just crows), treasure chests full of either witch hearts or moon pearls, hidden verses containing fights against the usual Angel enemies (because screw it, they aren't doing anything in this story) or Bayo 2's demons, there are even some hidden platforming challenges that, while I would normally appreciate, they feel awkward to execute because of how they changed the traversal mechanics from Bayo 1 and 2 to 3. Eventually though, I just stopped caring about any of it and just wanted to get a move on, there's no good reason why these places are so unnecessarily huge, it's just a hassle to simply explore because if you do so then you waste like 30 or so minutes when you're not even halfway done with a chapter.

There's also an important disclaimer I'd like to give you: if you're a fan of Kamiya inserting wacky gimmicky minigames or alternate playstyles, then you're going to LOVE this game because Kamiya's nonsense is practically nonstop all throughout. Jeanne has entirely 2D stealth sections, there's a minigame where you play a 2D, 3D AND a top down shootemup section all in one go, you ride on spiraling rooftops, you ride on a train to shoot down enemies, you play as a giant demon that pierces the clouds and then proceeds to use the clouds to...blow bubbles to trap enemies in them, you get a rhythm minigame and even a giant rock paper scissors kaiju boxing match, it's flat out unrelenting. I find Kamiya's typical nonsensical distractions to be charming at best (that one motorcycle ride in Bayo 1), annoying at worst (Bayo 1 Space Harrier and the DMC1 underwater shooting sections), and Bayo 3's are mostly ok I find. Though because of these constant distractions the entire game feels somewhat uneven as the game throws everything and the kitchen sink at you, but if you're a fan of these, you'll have a good time.

Visually Bayonetta 3 is...decent. That's the best I can come up with it. The backgrounds are vast and full of eye candy but the areas are super dull and muted, not to the degree of Bayonetta 1 but it's nowhere NEAR as vibrant and full of color and detail that 2 has. The textures are dodgy, and this game doesn't run particularly amazingly. It's not like, Bayo 1 on PS3 levels of unplayable, most of the time it FELT like it got close to 60fps, but the moments when the game does chug and slow down are frequent and super apparent (love having this franchise locked on the Switch yessirrrrrrr :DDDD). I do love the enemy designs though, they're super creative and detailed, even if it means that a lot of the attacks the big homunculi enemies have just sorta blend together. The music is phenomenal though, chock full of original bangers and AMAZING remixes of classic Bayo tunes. Might actually be my favorite of the entire series. Not even kidding.

Overall though, while this is definitely a good game unquestionably, I can't help but feel disappointed by Bayonetta 3. The story being as bad as it is would be one thing but I've grown sorta numb to Bayo's stories so I'm not super angry at it. While the gameplay is tight and tries to innovate with so many different interesting ideas, so many of these ideas feel annoying or half baked, like they threw darts at a dart board to see what sticks and went "sure why not, put that in there". This is unfortunately the weakest game in the series for me. This game is good, again don't misunderstand me, I still had a pretty good time playing it, but since I consider the other 2 games to be absolute masterclasses when it comes to action games, having this one just be "good" is kind of a major step back for a franchise as wild as Bayonetta. After the upcoming release of Cereza and the Lost Demon, I can only wonder what they'll do for the franchise going forward, and if we'll have to wait like 5+ years again for it to come out. Time will truly tell.

The shadow remains cast.

I've played this before, recently enough for my self-imposed rules that I could've reviewed it without the replay. Actually, Super Mario Advance 2 was a fairly foundational title for me as a kid, so Mario World is a game I know SUPER well. But the last time I played this would've been back in 2017, before I came to really understand or appreciate Kaizo Mario ROM hacks. I wanted to see if my thoughts changed any.

General thoughts first, though. Super Mario World is probably my favorite of Mario's 2D outings, certainly within the classic era. The huge levels, the many secrets, the momentum... this is a wonderful game to run and fly around in. I've always loved things like the different-colored Yoshis and how they interact with shells, or the Extra World changes, or the weirdly macabre way the Koopalings' defeats are described.

I especially love the Cape Feather, and I've long considered it one of my favorite power-ups in the series. I know Raccoon/Tanooki Mario is usually the preferred mode of flight (to provide an exceedingly specific example, there was this one CYOA fanfic I read that based a story junction on how Raccoon Leaf > Cape Feather), but I've always loved the amount of freedom you get with the Cape Feather. You can just keep going on high-level play, and while it kneecaps the intended game design at first, I was pleasantly surprised to see that in practice, there are still a good amount of natural checks in-place so you can't just skip every level. Careful use of ceilings and pipes, limiting the amount of consecutive ground to prevent the player from building P-Speed, etc. I imagine it hasn't come back because there's so much to qualify with it and it's way harder to balance than Raccoon Leaf, but I'd love to see a new game really lean into it.

I will admit that I don't think Super Mario World has any "best level ever"s the way Super Mario Bros. 3 does with 5-3 and Kuribo's Shoe. Generally this is a sign that Mario World is consistent with what it does, but it does make highlighting favorite sequences difficult. Donut Plains 1, for introducing Cape Feather? Chocolate Island 2, for its experimental level progression? Tubular, for emphasizing the MAAAAAAGIC BALLOON? Front Door, for Bowser's Castle's puzzle room setup? These are all good, but not really things I explicitly look forward to on replay. If I'm playing SMW, it's for the overall experience more than anything.

Which makes for a contrast with the Kaizo Mario scene. A thing I notice with a lot of ROM hacks is how high-concept the level design is. Every level is so explicit with what its experiment is, even if it's just a variation on a given level archetype like "Ultra Star" or "Sky Tree". Contrast with Mario World, which has some levels that begin to approximate that mixed in with stuff like Vanilla Secret 1, Forest of Illusion 1, and Valley of Bowser 4 - decent levels that don't really have gimmicks, but just are obstacle courses.

At the same time, you have the start of ideas that would be built upon by Kaizo Mario. Kaizo is defined by asking the player to perform specific actions through meticulously-designed levels. SMW is looser in its approach, but it's so carefully designed that it still is able to have levels that ask things of its players in a game that has a power-up so strong as the Cape Feather. Like, I forgot that Vanilla Secret 3 is just a Dolphin level by Kaizo standards; yeah, it's simple, but it's also better than a decent chunk of Dolphin levels in Kaizo hacks. The Star Road and Special World levels really lean into the experimental design you get out of the Kaizo scene, particularly stuff like Star Road 4 and Way Cool.

But I think the strongest throughline is Funky. The level practically starts with a Kaizo Trap, placing Mario under a Sumo Bro. The gimmick of needing to feed a low timer requires careful planning for the level, and I'm honestly surprised that Kaizo hacks don't do more with Green Berries. There's a lot of tricky enemy placement with the Sumos and Chargin' Chucks, an extremely rare Whistlin' Chuck sighting, and low-hanging pipes to cordon Cape Feather use. And then it ends on a special message from the staff to the player, baked into the game.

In the original Japanese release, the last two levels of Special World are called 「チャンピオンシップのコース 」 - roughly, "Championship Course". It represents a vision the developers had for the hardest challenge they could offer the player given their toolset. This is, of course, the very essence of what the Kaizo scene is - trying to use the engine of Mario World, then later expanding upon the engine of Mario World, in order to challenge players to their utmost. But it's also a sentiment that exists here and there within Mario, through final test levels like Grandmaster Galaxy and Champion's Road. There's something sweetly unifying to all this: Super Mario's goals are to present adventures approachable to everyone, while Kaizo Mario is there to twist and subvert what is expected to provide a new degree of adventure for advanced players. But developers within both worlds ultimately want to challenge players to see through everything they possibly can throw at them. And at the end of all of it, they're there to cheer on the player, telling them a version of those words Mario World imparts upon its players: YOU ARE A SUPER PLAYER!!

So... yes, I still love Super Mario World. Yes, it's just as comfortable to revisit as always. Yes, my thoughts have changed a bit, but I don't think any less of what Mario World is. It's been used as a stepping stone, both by official and fan developers, and I just think that's wonderful to see.

So after playing Mario Wonder and generally enjoying it, I wanted to replay my favorite 2D Mario. I wanted to see if it was total nostalgia that was keeping me from not liking Mario Wonder as much as this and well maybe it still is? Either way, as I did with my other playthroughs, I had an absolute blast playing this and still consider it peak 2D Mario and one of my favorite platformers ever.

I think the main reason I really love it, is there's just so many secrets to find. There's 96 different exits in this game and like at least a third or more are secret exits. They're everywhere and they're really fun to find. Some of them can be quite tricky for newcomers, tho I've played this game so much that I know where everything is. Finding a secret exit in a normal level and then finding a secret exit in that secret level you just unlocked, man it's just so cool. Every single time I start a new playthrough, I always go to the star world really early, it's super fun.

I also love just how weird and wacky this game is, a lot of the stages can feel very dream like with how out there they are. In general the level design is very fresh and there's new ideas thrown out you even until the very end of the game. The game is also chock full of brand new enemies, even ones exclusive to this game that never returned to future titles.

The general gameplay is more slippery than Mario 3 and while some players may dislike this change, I enjoy it. It takes a little getting used to it at first but once it clicks, it feels great. It's more skill based but also never frustrating at least for me. I also think the game as a whole is never super frustrating (well maybe some of those special stages lol) but also never a walk in the park. I think this game has a perfect difficulty curve, it can get a bit challenging in certain levels near the middle and end. Though you could also easily get 99 1-UPs from that one level with the immense amount of Koopas lole.

I really love the OST, it's very simplistic with how it's just different renditions of the same song for most of it but it really works. I absolutely adore the end credits theme too. Another awesome thing this game did was give Mario a lot of personality. Whether it's his hat bobbing up and down when he jumps, to those really wacky cutscenes that play when you beat a castle, this game is full of personality.

Even though I've played this game many times, I still have trouble with it at certain points. I had a really rough time trying to get the secret exit for Cheese Bridge Yoshi-less, and then some of the special stages (specifically Tubular and Mondo) always give me a hard time. Some castle levels also trip me up sometimes too, I don't think this game is super easy like I've heard some people say idk.

So in the end, yeah it may just be nostalgia talking but I truly think this game is peak and definitely peak Mario, at least for me. I love this game so much man.

Now THIS is the epitome of classicvania. A sort of reimagining of the first Castlevania, this game perfects the formula that is known as classicvania.

All issues I had with the last 3 games are addressed here. The controls are PERFECT. Simon controls so well it doesn't feel like you're controlling a brick anymore. You now have directional whipping which is a godsend and made otherwise difficult scenarios more manageable.

The difficulty is just right. If you're somewhat familiar with this games, you should be able to beat this on your first playthough without any struggles, but you will still die and face some challenges. Only bullshit section is the final boss. I felt like that was even harder than Castlevania 1's final boss. But every other level and boss is just well balanced and designed, nothing feels too cheap when you die. This game has some of the coolest and most creative looking levels in the series.

The music and graphics are phenomenal. Some of the best most hype music in the series so far. Especially when you are in the castle and a lot of the tracks are just throwback remixes. So good. The game itself looks great and effects when whipping and killing enemies are so crunchy and satisfying.

Super Castlevania IV is easily my favorite of the classicvania games (of which I've played so far), and of my now top 10 SNES games of all time.

“Bayonetta? More like Mayonetta, ‘cause this shit spread me apart!” This joke was brought to you by the legendary @QuentTheSlayer.

The Bayonetta series! One of the most acclaimed franchises I’ve seen in general that nobody ever played. Yeah, can you believe that Bayonetta 2 barely cracked 1 million copies on Switch as of 2021? That's not terrible by any means, but you’d think it’d be a lot higher, since it was practically the Wii U’s only pride and joy, and 3/4ths of the series were heavily funded and promoted by Nintendo, plus almost every DMC game has sold like hotcakes, but no. Oh, sorry to any NES Remix 2 fans out there! Apparently, it wasn't a killer app for the failing Wii U console. Shocker. But, when Bayonetta 2 launched in 2014, they also ported Bayonetta 1 to Wii U, and a few years later, Xbox One, PS4, and the PC. The PC version is the definitive way to play the game, in my opinion. It can run up to 4K resolution, and usually maintains a stable 60fps, unlike a majority of the console versions, which don’t. A shame that Bayonetta 1 has only seen a PC release, because 2 and 3 will probably always be locked to Nintendo Switch and Wii U, as those 2 were Nintendo-funded, and also receive FPS issues, more so Bayonetta 3. But hey, emulation is always free, I suppose. And for the record, in these playthroughs, I will be emulating 2 and 3, just for the best experience possible. An almost locked 60FPS is crucial for almost any modern character action game nowadays, so I just bit the bullet. And for you rare few, I have my lawyers on speed dial if you want to contest this.

Okay, jokes aside, what the hell is a “Bayonetta”? Aside from her name being a clear nod to the weapon, the Bayonet, Bayonetta herself has become an icon within the hack n’ slash genre, and also the fighting game scene. Bayonetta was birthed from the absolute legend, Hideki Kamiya, who also directed the first Devil May Cry title. Rather than a male lead, Bayonetta was designed from the ground up, as a female witch who wielded four guns at a time. Although some shade was initially thrown at the beehive hairstyle, mimicking traditional witch hats, and lacked glasses initially, eventually, they came to a witch, with a heavy focus on the attractiveness of the character. Bayonetta, from the ground up, was designed to be attractive as all get-out, if you couldn’t tell from the box art. This girl just leaves it hanging out there like it’s nobody’s business! Hell, this even floods into gameplay a little bit. The infamous torture attacks have Bayonetta seductively execute her foes, the innuendos, “Climax”, yeah. Hideki Kamiya and crew knew what they were doing, and it shows. However, in spite of the less-than-modest presentation of Bayonetta herself, I’d actually go out on a limb to say that it empowers Bayonetta as a character. In the cutscenes, we see Bayonetta doing all of this wacky shit. She’s having fun! Flirting with her enemies, dancing around them, as she aims to secure the kill. It really makes Bayonetta out as an unstoppable badass, deliberately belittling her foes as she defeats them all promptly. I'm not a woman, so I don't really want to comment on if Bayonetta is necessarily sexist or not, but personally, I never really felt that way. The opening cutscene demonstrates this, with Bayonetta, ambushed by angels while working as a nun, decimating every single Angel in her way with style and grace. And when things get dire, as the angels barely miss her, slicing her nun attire in the products, she fully awakens to her power. And then, the ICONIC song HAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, HAAAAA, AAAAAA, AAAAAAA, AAA, x6 FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ME TO THE MOON AND LET ME PLAYYYYYYYY AMONG THE STAAAAAAAAAAARS begins at full volume. I love this fucking track. Bayonetta has a good ass soundtrack and if you contest that fact, you're subhuman. But, back to the story and character design itself, giving Bayonetta this massive reach over her enemies demonstrates to the player how powerful Bayonetta is, and how powerful the player CAN be, with the game’s COMBAT.

GOD, Bayonetta's combat makes me SWOON. Never have I ever been so addicted to the controls of a game alone. Each time I listen to Fly Me to the Moon (Infinite Climax), I just want to start Bayonetta all over again. Bayonetta’s combat is EXCELLENT. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Hell, I might even say I enjoy the gameplay loop a little more than Devil May Cry’s gameplay loop, although I’m not entirely sure. Bayonetta herself has a few simple attacks; a punch, kick, shooting, and dodging. You’ll primarily be fighting your foes face on, but that’s not to say your guns don’t get some decent use either. You have 4 guns; two on your hands, and two on your feet. By holding an attack button, you can shoot the guns to give a little extra damage out, corresponding to which attack you throw out. So, punch to shoot the hand guns, or kick to shoot the heel guns. Or, alternatively, you can shoot your hand guns on your own, if you don’t feel like punching enemies in the face. But believe me folks, it doesn’t end there. The combo system of Bayonetta goes far deeper than you may think. Bayonetta retains the delay-based systems of Devil May Cry, but given the choice of hands and guns, the combos become much, MUCH deeper than before. Your average Devil May Cry combo goes like this. Slash, slash, wait, slash, slash. Whereas an average Bayonetta combo goes like this; Punch, punch, kick, kick, wait, kick. It adds complexity, but still remains simple enough to master. Bayonetta’s other main stick is her Witch Time, and upon dodging a majority of attacks at the last second, Bayonetta will slow down time for every enemy, and yeah, it’s as satisfying as it sounds. Outside of looking and feeling really good to do, the obvious benefit of slowing down time also adds a score multiplier to each attack done in Witch Time. So there’s no real reason to not be in Witch Time as much as possible, even if you can’t land a few attacks in. It feels great to pull off each time, just getting to wail on your enemies each time feels immaculate to watch and play. Even more immaculate is the Climaxes and Executions, which have you executing enemies in just the cutest way possible, usually killing them in a single shot. So, all of this versatility sounds pretty overpowered, right? How does Bayon- Wait, I’ve already used this segway in my Repentance review. Shit.

Straight and to the point, Bayonetta is one of the most deviously difficult games that I’ve ever played. Goddamn, I wasn’t expecting to die THIS much when going in. I knew that it wouldn’t be an easy game, but FUCK the Witch Hunts, seriously. But if it isn’t one of the most consistently fair games that I’ve played, too. Every attack is cued to perfection. To avoid frustration, most attacks have a bright shine and sound cue to it. The attacks themselves hit incredibly hard, but if you can dodge them, you’ll be a master of Bayonetta. Guess which camp I fell in? I was planning on doing a no items run of Bayonetta, but at Chapter 9, I caved. The game was just too hard for me. But, that’s okay, because before that, I was only getting Stone ranks, and each use of an item counts as half of a death, so there really wasn’t much difference in my overall score. What DID have an effect on my score were the Quick Time Events, though.

God, these just need to go. Bayonetta is an amazing game and all that jazz, but MAN, these got on my nerves really quickly. My main problem is that a grand majority of them lead to an instant death for no good reason at all, and they quite literally show up out of nowhere. At the very least, at least make the failure state cause minor damage or make it repeatable, because an outright kill from something you couldn’t see coming is not fun game design. Imagine that you’re on the way to a Pure Platinum in Chapter 2. You haven’t got hit a single time, and when you finally kill the boss without damage, you set down the controller satisfyingly, only to forget the instant kill at the VERY end of the chapter. Come on, dude! Talk about cheap and frustrating design. This especially hurt as someone who has really good hand-eye coordination, and played the Steam release with a Switch Pro Controller, as the direction of buttons doesn’t line up with the prompts on screen, as inputting the wrong buttons very frequently leads to Bayonetta’s demise. And don’t input them TOO early, because that kills you, too! For some reason. Speaking of bosses, they were... somewhat of a mixed bag. None of them are outright terrible, but there’s definitely a fair share of hot air between them. Sometimes, there’s not a whole lot to do other than firing your guns at them. They also have QTEs, although most are optional, thankfully. And failing usually doesn’t kill you, thank the fucking lord. Also on the plus side, all of the Jeanne fights were AWESOME. She serves as a skill check; Witch Time and guns won’t work for a majority of attacks, and she’s among the most threatening bosses in the entire game, packing speed and some hella’ Wicked weaves. Each encounter is almost perfectly crafted, requiring the utmost mastery of skills. And that music, man. Every 10/10 game NEEDS a 10/10 soundtrack, too. It’s simply inseparable. Jeanne is essentially the Vergil of Bayonetta, and those DMC comparisons don’t stop there.

Like DMC, you can buy abilities in the shop, all of which are of great variety and utility. In fact, I’d go as far to say that Bayonetta has a greater variety of skills than a majority of Devil May Cry games (obviously disregarding DMC 2). Good GOD, the moves you can pull off are so distinctive from one another. The Beast Within moves are among the best in the entire game, the Breakdance is a great AOE attack, also useful for revealing those hidden halos and other items, man. It’s all so good! Sure, the heel stomp attack could be a little more useful, but for the most part, all of these abilities are awesome! Uhhhh. I’m out of good segways. Shit.

Okay, time to talk about the final few chapters, and WOW, these aren’t all that great, unfortunately. Chapter 14 is mostly Space Harrier that just lasts far too long. At the end, there’s a Jeanne fight, though, which is my personal favorite of the Jeanne fights, because she has the best, most difficult attacks of them all. I kind of wonder why they didn’t just split the two chapters, though. Imagine fucking up the Platinum and then having to do Space Harrier all over again. Ugh. Chapter 15 is a... boss rush. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but it’s just kind of... okay. Chapter 16, the final traditional misson, is just a boss fight, against Balder, and the fight would’ve been PERFECT, if it weren’t for the fucking camera. It’s like Jeanne; no Witch Time, no guns, just you and a fight to the death. The camera is just far too up close. But it's still a great send-off, into the EPILOUGE, of course. The FINAL final boss, Jubileus, is a solid little send off to the game, but I think it's just a bit too easy? First off though, Jubileus is fucking hot and you cannot say otherwise, but secondly, the boss herself hovers above you, slamming sword thingies down, and those shoot projectiles at you. Not too bad to dodge, you just Witch Time them, and bam. Beat their asses. She'll also end up changing the arena every now and then, one covered in lava, one in ice, and one in the middle of a tornado. You, once again, have to destroy the swords she plants down, and Witch Time is the key to success. Really, her fight is pretty straightforward. Most of her attacks are pretty slow and predictable, and the one that poses a threat is the Black Hole attack, which is a reset, but other than that… yeah. It's fun, but too easy in my opinion. But of course, this is capped off with the most awesome Climax. Bayonetta does an awesome 20 second long dance, summoning a massive hair demon with oddly feminine proportions (god this game is weird and I love it), and it beats the shit out Jubileus in one fell love tap, knocking Jubileus’s soul out of her body into the goddamn SUN. Yeah, talk about a fucking climax. Oh, you can control her soul as she falls? You know what? Fuck Jupiter, am I righ- I DIED??? …Okay, that makes sense. Anyways one dumb decision later, Jubileus’s body falls to the earth, brief lesbianism occurs, we destroy her body, Bayonetta dies, actually no, bisexualism occurs, Bayo winks, CREDIT ROLL!!!!

No hyperbole or anything, Bayonetta is one of my favorite games that I've played this year, and maybe one of my favorite games of all time. A must play for almost anybody. Sure, the game has it's low points (how the FUCK did i not mention Grace and Glory during this???), but overall, it's REALLY fucking fun, and serves as one of the best character action games ever made, andI'll for sure be returning for Hard Mode and afterwards, INFINITE CLIMAX (funny). Bayonetta is on Steam, PS4, and Xbox One for 10 bucks, and the game more than makes up for that price, I'd say. I'm not sure about Xbox 360 and PS3, but Bayonetta is also on Switch for $30, which is a bit of an eh deal, but hey, you get a $20 discount for Bayonetta 2 if you buy it. Speaking of Bayonetta 2, that's NOT up next, but rather Bayonetta: Bloody Fate. Yeah, for the first time in zeusdeegoose history, we have a cross-media review series (if you discount Isaac I guess). I'm still playing through Bayonetta 2, and it seems destined to be another banger, but hey, we'll see in the review. I don't know about Bayonetta 3 as I actually haven't even touched it, but from what I heard, there's some… opinions on it. But, once again we'll see. But, the moral of the story? Bayonetta is awesome and I like it. Go buy 15 copies of it right now, and I hope that you have an awesome day.

Maybe this is just my perspective as a Nintendo child speaking, but the games catalogue of Insomniac Games always fascinated me from a distance for how...underdiscussed their games seemed to be, despite being regarded as classics. There's absolutely a vocal fanbase for Spyro, and an even more vocal fanbase for their later hit series, yet it was never quite one I was able to get a grasp on the consensus of - there was an understood agreement of quality yet never one true point to really anchor it down. And I hate to be part of the problem, but now with first-hand experience under my belt, I think I get what they mean: The original Ratchet & Clank manages to be a great game despite never truly excelling in any one area of design.

I try, with any game I play, to understand the objective and intent of the designers and artists behind the game during my time playing it - to reach a sort of agreement upon which to draw my analysis. This is part of why platformers are some of my all-time favorite games - their intent is usually immediately understandable as soon as you're given control. Mario is a toybox - games with a character able to do many things, with levels often made purely around the lowest common denominator, yet with a moveset sparkling with potential for freedom of expression. Sonic is a training ground - a set of mechanics that oft feel unwiedly and difficult to use properly, yet one with boundless potential for faster, yet faster times, with a ranking system always at the ready to push you to your absolute limits. Donkey Kong and Crash are an obstacle course - characters with dead-simple mechanics placed in contexts that ask the utmost of your capabilities as a player, of your mastery of every little interaction between the character and their world, with bountiful rewards given to those who can go the extra mile. Yet in my time demoing the original Spyro the Dragon, this sort of distillation felt damn near impossible to get done. Spyro could move fast, yet his levels lacked incentive to utilize it to its fullest. He could breathe fire, jump and glide, yet there's rarely more asked of you to do than those basic actions in isolation. And as I was playing, trying to think of yet one more think to note down...the level I was in had already ended.

And that's when it clicked for me - the secret ingredient.

The absolute greatest achievement of Ratchet & Clank, beyond its distinct art design, immaculate music, charming character writing and thematic core, is that a fast, steady pace is prioritized above all else. Ratchet & Clank, much like its dragonic ancenstor, doesn't truly push the envelope in any one particular area of its gameplay - its gunplay is simple, its jumps and platforming are not much more than fit-for-purpose, and its mobility is never one to truly let the player run freely about. Yet none of what Ratchet & Clank tasks its players with accomplishing ever takes long enough to where one would begin longing for more. Enemies can be defeated as quickly as they appear, and their deaths are punctuated with the oh-so-satisfying sounds of bolts - hard cash in the Ratchetverse - whizzing into the lombax's pockets. Atop every hill lays a new visually distinct, breathtaking vista - and after just four or five of those, you've circled back to your ship, seen a funny cutscene with entertaining dialogue, and gotten a new weapon or mobility upgrade. Particularly with the weapons, there's always something to draw your attention - "maybe I could try the Visibomb here?" "These enemies are all bunched together, maybe the Walloper would be funny to use here?" "Ooh, if I use the Mine Glove and then Taunter, I can draw enemies into the mines!" It's not so much that these creative options for combat are required nor rewarding to solve, but that it all adds to the feeling of the game always having stimulus of some sort at the ready.

It's easy to liken its constant sense of progression to a Metroidvania or RPG, but it althesame feels immensely befitting of the narrative the original Ratchet & Clank tells. The duo are an odd pair in this one, going from somewhat neutral on one another to bickering to becoming more genuinely trusting of one another, yet the everpresent constant that drives the dynamic is Ratchet's own hot-headedness, not in any way moronic yet always leading thoughts with the trigger rather than the brain. The easy comparison to make here would be toward Sonic the Hedgehog, yet for as much of a go-getter as he is, I've always had the impression that he's fully capable and willing to slow down and assess situations inbetween sprints: he's never been restrained in his life and knows when its okay to take it slow. Ratchet, meanwhile, is excited to finally be off his home, finally getting to see the world and let it guide his ship on his first real adventure - he never stops to chat or befriend anyone for longer than what's needed. It feels like a reflection of the game's own pace and structure, as if the environments we explore aren't necessarily seen in their entirety, but only in the pieces that Ratchet himself is willing to go through before being ready to hop off to the next fun world. The persona of a determined delinquent scrapyard mechanic also obviously lends itself further to the combat, as it never stops feeling exciting to mow down fools with the arsenal at your disposal.

If Ratchet is emblematic of the sheer sense of tempo, aggression and power given to the player throughout the game, then I suppose Clank represents the opposite aspects - the details that are easily missed, almost asking one to slow down to be fully appreciated. The absolute scale, atmosphere and visual detail of a world like Metropolis, the effects and animations of every gun and enemy, the differing architecture and sense of culture from planet to planet...though its a world that you can easily and quite enjoyably breeze through, its also one that doesn't shy away from letting the player smell the roses at their own leisure. I feel like this balance seeps into upholding just about every part of the game - the cutscenes are both funny because of the snappy and outright excellent dialogue, yet watching attentively can alert the player to so many little intricacies of how the universe and its people operate. How much a character like Captain Qwark says about the status, importance and exploitation of celebrities, how full-scale warfare sort of just happens in the background in several of the game's planets without any true sense of panic or surprise expressed by its inhabitants - as if its just part of their everyday lives to expect the world to turn upside down at the whims of their rulers. And crucially how, despite being a mechanic and a rebel in spirit, Ratchet remains subservient to a capitalist system - his collected scrap isn't material to craft weapons on his own accord, but currency for purchasing weapons as goods. Like your average punk-rock song, Ratchet & Clank knows, criticizes and shouts about the system that's restraining them, yet relishes in that rebelliousness as an aesthetic moreso than committing to serious discussion on the topics raised. It has important things to say and messages to be dissected by its players, yet the aforementioned Ratchet half of the game sees to ensures that such discussion never bogs down the game's pure intentions of being a fun video game for too long - what fun is punk-rock if you can't enjoy listening to it?

Put rather bluntly, Ratchet & Clank can often feel like a game of many half-measures: much like Spyro its influences are clear to see yet its commitment lays uncertain. Yet all of it is wrapped in an aesthetic, structure and pace that sparks of confidence, a pair of voices shouting at you to always keep going fast yet to also always appreciate the detail and care of the world. And though there are times where those two voices feel thoroughly at odds with one another, for a surprising amount of the runtime they truly do harmonize into an experience that kept me hooked.

Though I may not love Ratchet & Clank, the game feels as if it is truly in love with itself, and I can't help but find that admirable.

[Playtime: 14 Hours]
[Key Word: Rapidfire]

After experiencing a taste of what Remedy games have to offer, and because the general premise of Alan Wake sounded interesting to me (a writer whose work on a horror story comes to life), I decided to check out the remaster of the original game. Thankfully the remaster had just recently come out (well, relatively speaking). As far as I’m aware it’s the definitive way to experience the game, as it’s just the original Xbox 360 title but with improved visual features and 60fps. I was also looking forward to Alan Wake 2 afterward because it was a survival horror game (which is right up my alley) instead of an action thriller like the original, and because of how much praise it was getting. I won’t spend too much time on the plot as a lot of elements I didn’t understand until I read up on it via wiki pages and whatnot, but it was at the very least intriguing. Remedy is good at creating worlds you start to get sucked into the more you play through them, and this one is no different. As the game goes on you begin to question unfolding events the further you go. Granted, the manuscript pages you collect completely spoil later events that happen in the story, just in a haphazard order which is kind of bizarre. This game unironically also has Kingdom Hearts-esc dialogue and I love it for that. I kid you not towards the end of the game Alan starts going on about light and darkness like he’s arguing with Organization 13. Also Barry Wheeler rules, he’s just a mini Enzo who’s also Alan’s manager. Best character in the entire game. There were also mentions of TiVo in this story of all things which made me remember “Oh yeah this was made in 2010, forgot about that”. I guess if anything else, props to Alan Wake remastered for reminding me that TiVo is a thing that existed.

This game is the textbook definition of “flawed but fun”. The combat works but it’s a complete mess in a lot of different areas. You have to shine a light on the enemies and hold it on them until it breaks their shield, to which you can fire at them with regular guns and remove them from the equation. It gets a bit repetitive having to do the same technique repeatedly, especially with how long it takes to remove darkness shields from enemies. Still, in regular 1v1 encounters, it’s perfectly fine. You even get a variety of different weapons: close-range shotguns, hunting rifles, a flare gun, and flares. What’s odd about the weapons in this game is that you don’t keep them between chapters. You sort of just…lose all your equipment and get them back one by one at the beginning of a new chapter. You’re even able to swap weapon variants out at points; like you can swap between a pump action shotgun or a double-barreled shotgun at designated locations, and you can even change out the shotgun you have for a hunting rifle. There are extra collectibles in this game as well, but they aren’t anything to write home about sadly. Outside of the aforementioned manuscript pages, the coffee thermoses just exist for the sake of having things to collect, nothing more. They’re achievement fodder, and if you miss one beforehand (and you will), you’ll start to care about a majority of the other thermoses out there less and less. There’s just really no point in picking them up as they have nothing to offer outside of intrinsic achievement value.

The gunplay in this game is weird in that you don’t aim like a traditional shooter, the game sort of autoaims for you. This has admittedly been somewhat finicky for me as there have been times when I’ve readied my weapon but the gun still misses the enemy even when I’m facing directly at them, which is frustrating. Some things are just plain unfun to go against, such as the possessed objects that can only be destroyed by shining your flashlight on them and require that you use the dodge mechanic which…feels more like a drunken stumble than anything else. There are also the groups of shadow crows where you just need to shine your light on them to get rid of them, except that if you do it for too long they fly away and group up for another attack, meaning you need to kill them in one go or you need to wait for them to come back around.

However, I think the biggest fault with the combat lies in the structure itself. The gunplay is primarily designed for one, maybe two enemies at a time. When there are multiple groups of enemies onscreen this game completely falls apart and crumples under the pressure. The only way you’re realistically dealing with a group of enemies is either with the flare gun which can wipe out a group in one go, or with flashbang grenades which…pretty much do the same thing. The overly drawn-out flashlight takes a considerable amount of time to burn away the darkness shield for one enemy: in a large group it’s far too easy to get ganged up on. Granted simply shining your flashlight on a single enemy temporarily stuns them so there is a slight element of multitasking, but it’s just not enough. What’s even worse, I’ve often had recorded instances of enemies completely blindsiding me offscreen, either with some random axe that I would NEVER see coming or with a taken itself. Like, there was one time when the camera focused on 2 taken enemies coming towards me so that I could prepare, and then some random taken came up from behind me and completely cheapshot blindsided me unrelated to these other two. There is a way to know when there are enemies outside of Alan’s camera view but it’s way too subtle to even be noticeable. Not helping things is the sprint, it’s legit almost as bad as Sebastian’s sprint in The Evil Within 1. It’s not QUITE as bad but it’ll start to get on your nerves in the long run.

Outside of that though, I did still managed to enjoy myself for what it’s worth. I don’t think I’d replay this game again unless it’s years down the line; it’s incredibly flawed and is more of a “one and done” affair to me, but still: I didn’t hate it at all. It was repetitive and pretty rough around the edges at times (even on a technical level, I saw the giant red "missing mesh" error cubes inserted in geometry and just thought it was part of the actual game) but I still managed to finish it completely and even played the DLC afterward (which thankfully comes packaged with the remaster). If I were going to get to Alan Wake 2 eventually, this would simply be the necessary step forward.

something something lake something something ocean

Still the king, baby.

Now, I already reviewed Super Mario World in the past and feel that I said everything I needed to say about this game there. However, as I replayed this game over and over throughout my life, I have yearned for ways to make each new playthrough feel unique. For a while, the randomizer did just that for me, and later on I would experience the joys and hilarity of the ROM hack where the game's stages and music were remade from memory. Now, I return to Super Mario World once more for another twist, focusing entirely on the soundtrack.

For this playthrough, I implemented a ROM hack titled Super Mario World MSU-1 Plus Ultra. For those unaware, MSU-1 is a custom coprocessor designed by the late Near that allows Super Nintendo games to play CD quality audio and full-motion videos. Many modders have taken advantage of this coprocessor to do insanely impressive things with Super Nintendo games. Look at this video of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, for example. This is what the coprocessor looks and sounds like in action!

Many games have been given MSU-1 upgrades over the years, and Super Mario World is no exception to this. In fact, MSU-1 mods for this game have had an interesting development history. At first, there were just mods that swapped the music for more orchestral sounding remixes of the music tracks, which is the standard protocol for these mods. Following these would come a more ambitious mod, titled Super Mario World MSU+, which not only swaps the original tracks for CD quality music, but also introduces voice clips for characters and implements the use of different remixes of the overworld music depending on which region of the map you're currently in. I've played that version and loved it, finding it to be a refreshing way to experience this game.

Years later after the release of this mod, however, we would be gifted with an even more ambitious mod in the form of Super Mario World MSU-1 Plus Ultra. Not only did this mod implement everything from Super Mario World MSU+. It also made it possible for every stage in the game to have its own unique remix. This means that the soundtrack of Super Mario World has been expanded to 130 unique tracks!

Needless to say, I've been dying to get into this mod and hear all the music within, and after a breezy 96 exit run of this game, I can say genuinely that this is an amazing way to experience (or re-experience) Super Mario World. It's exciting to drop into a stage and hear an entirely new remix. It could be orchestral, jazzy, rock, or something else! Your ears are certainly in for a treat with this mod!

The best part of this and other MSU-1 mods is that they are fully playable on the most recent models of flash carts, such as the FXPak Pro, for example. You're going to be hearing CD quality music and voice lines from characters in a day 1 Super Nintendo game all on real hardware! It's beyond impressive, and every so often as I play mods like these, I can't help but think of how much these advancements blow me away.

If you love the Super Nintendo and want to see what their games would be like if they had a bit of that Sega CD energy (complimentary) in them, I highly implore you to check out the MSU-1 Hacks Database and try some of these mods for yourself! They take a bit more of set-up to get running than your usual ROM hack, but the extra work is worth it to see and hear how these games get enhanced by this technology!