GoofyWorm
160 Reviews liked by GoofyWorm
Minecraft
2011
If you aren’t building dicks in this game, you’re playing it wrong.
Mario Kart 64
1996
Journal 71
It’s the 21st of July, I’ve been hiding from the feds for over the past week now. I see constant news on my murdering of my ex wife and her husband. Damn bitch always was more trouble than she was worth.
I’m currently in a swamp in Northern Georgia, the Alligators here are some wild fuckers, one almost chomped off my dick earlier this morning.
Mario Kart 64, I’m thinking about it now… If only a Blue Shell could be in my hands so I could blow those copper fucks to kingdom come. Fuck… I knew I shouldn’t have had a son. If I had known that it would’ve come to this, I wouldn’t have murdered all those guys in Cleveland.
It’s the 21st of July, I’ve been hiding from the feds for over the past week now. I see constant news on my murdering of my ex wife and her husband. Damn bitch always was more trouble than she was worth.
I’m currently in a swamp in Northern Georgia, the Alligators here are some wild fuckers, one almost chomped off my dick earlier this morning.
Mario Kart 64, I’m thinking about it now… If only a Blue Shell could be in my hands so I could blow those copper fucks to kingdom come. Fuck… I knew I shouldn’t have had a son. If I had known that it would’ve come to this, I wouldn’t have murdered all those guys in Cleveland.
Super Mario World
1990
I remember playing this before the divorce, the wife said that I was being "cruel" when I'd ditch Yoshi in a pit to make it to the end of a level. I'm "cruel" for doing that, but she's "totally justified" in taking 800 bucks a month for a son that isn't mine, I swear. Bitch.
Super Mario 64
1996
Peach only gives you a kiss for rescuing her and no sex. Fucking bitch, I went through 70 plus stars for your distressed damsel ass and still no T&A. Bullshit.
Mario Sports Mix
2010
I used to be on the high school football team back when I lived in Cleveland. When I would slam my entire body into another man, knowing I would be giving him permanent brain damage for the rest of his life, I felt nothing but fulfillment.
This game doesn’t have football, 2 stars.
This game doesn’t have football, 2 stars.
This is the best game I've ever played! It's so violent and full of alcohol, just the way I like it. The characters are fantastic and the fighting is awesome. I can't believe Capcom made a game this good.
Kirby's Return to Dream Land is pretty good, I guess. The sex is pretty hot, and the alcohol is plentiful. The only downside is that it's a bit too kiddie for my taste. But all in all, it's a decent game.
Bubsy 3D
1996
Bubsy 3D is a terrible platformer. YourDadReviews is a terrible reviewer.
YourDadReviews is terrible because he's a fraud. He's not really a dad. He's just a guy who dresses up like a dad so he can review video games. He's not even a good reviewer. He just gives low scores to games he doesn't like and high scores to games he does like, without really explaining why.
This is infuriating because it makes it harder for real dads to reviewers to be taken seriously. Plus, it's just plain dishonest.
I hate YourDadReviews. I hate him so much.
YourDadReviews is terrible because he's a fraud. He's not really a dad. He's just a guy who dresses up like a dad so he can review video games. He's not even a good reviewer. He just gives low scores to games he doesn't like and high scores to games he does like, without really explaining why.
This is infuriating because it makes it harder for real dads to reviewers to be taken seriously. Plus, it's just plain dishonest.
I hate YourDadReviews. I hate him so much.
LA Cops
2015
This account has been taken over as part of evidence for the trial of Mitch Macklemore, aka "YourDadReviews"
We will be looking through these reviews for any evidence of accomplices from this website, Backloggd.com.
We are always watching you. You cannot escape us.
We will be looking through these reviews for any evidence of accomplices from this website, Backloggd.com.
We are always watching you. You cannot escape us.
Bill Clinton sure knows how to handle his balls.
I like big women, what can I say.
Sonic Superstars
2023
This game is like getting bad head behind the Denny's near the highway: It feels good for a bit until you realize you might've contracted something, and then you spend the next few days with your dick hurt. I blame the level design, she blames the lack of protection.
Celeste
2018
In commemoration of beating Celeste, all trans women get an 8% discount on my Redbubble merch page.
Super Mario Odyssey
2017
M-M-M-M-M-M-M-MARIO HAS .. NIPPLES??????? NO NO NO YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS THIS IS A KIDS GAME?????????? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT THIS IS A CONSERVATIVE GAME WAT DO I SHOW MY KID NOWW NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YOU LIBERALS
Resident Evil
2014
genuinely peak survival horror, really great atmosphere, good puzzles and keeps you on edge for most of the playthrough.
only downside is the atmosphere is GUTTED by the modern rereleases of the game, with the backgrounds being brightened and the music being sped up and pitched up. I'd recommend either playing the gamecube version, or modding the pc version to restore the game to its original state and maybe remove door transitions
only downside is the atmosphere is GUTTED by the modern rereleases of the game, with the backgrounds being brightened and the music being sped up and pitched up. I'd recommend either playing the gamecube version, or modding the pc version to restore the game to its original state and maybe remove door transitions