58 reviews liked by Hclw
PERO POR QUE CORRE TAN LENTO EL ETHAN
Now that I’ve had a day to sit on my thoughts of the game I will make an actual non-shitpost review.
This game is a mess. I wasn’t kidding when I said this is the MGS4 of the series. An extremely ambitious, earnest, heartfelt celebration of the series that has extremely high highs but also constantly falls on its face with extremely stupid writing.
The pacing is some of the worst we’ve seen from RGG. For a game that can easily be 100+ hours long it is both too long but also too short in areas. It constantly pulls you away from the main story to do very involved mini game/sub system tutorials but then has no time in the final hours to wrap up most of the story. At least 4 of the main characters this game is about don’t show up in the final cutscene. You just have to be told about what they are doing from a mouth piece so we can wrap shit up. Kiryu is just kinda left in this weird limbo as they don’t explain what the fuck got them to this point with an achievement titles “man who reclaimed his name”. It genuinely feels like there is either an entire chapter or at least a huge segment of one missing from the end. One of the main villains just stops showing up for 10+ hours only to be seen again in a cut away and is completely unrecognizable for at least another few hours. They then try to do the coin locker scene again with them and it feels completely unearned because they haven’t done anything. The two main villains you do fight are extremely forgettable and underwhelming. One is given what you’d imagine to be a super important connection to Ichiban but it never comes up. The two share a single cutscene at the start of the game and that’s it. Why was it even a plot point to begin with then???? So many plot threads just go no where or are left extremely unsatisfying as they hand wave them away so it can’t be viewed as “a plot hole”. I seriously think how they structure their stories needs to change because I don’t think the Yakuza writing formula they’ve had for 2 decades translates to a 100 hour JRPG. Imo the best way to enjoy the main story of these games is when you can just progress the plot freely and not be bogged down by side content or busy work. I usually save that stuff for premium adventure so the story isn’t so “start and stop”. But you can’t do that in these games because of the rpg leveling and just how the story constantly blocks you to do other shit I am currently not interested in. No RGG I don’t give a fuck about your Pokémon clone and it’s 30 minute+ forced tutorial I just want to get on with chapter 4 please.
Most of the cast has nothing to do in this game which would be fine if they didn’t force them to have boring ass drink links you need to do to make them objectively better in gameplay.
The gameplay needs massive changes going forward because Jesus Christ was I sick of the multiple grinds it imposes. The long battles they do in this game are terrible. In previous entries you’d have a long gauntlet where you’d have to fight to a location and they do this here but they constantly make you take the most out of the way route and block off better ones with excuses like “there are dudes over there!” Only to send you down an alley with 7 fights. If 9 does the same formula 8 repeated from 7 I might just drop the series. I do not want to go back to scrounging for money and being locked out of jobs till chapter 5 again. I do not want to have to do massive material grinds for good gear. I do not want to have 80% of the moves you get to be fucking useless because they aren’t an AOE and don’t deal elemental damage.
Highlights of this game is everything they do with Kiryu outside of the final chapter. Life links are overall goated outside of some implications of how no one reacting to Kiryu being alive despite you are only able to see them after Kiryu is broadcasted on national news to be alive.
There is honestly too much to talk about with this game So I’m just gonna end it by saying this: I’ll look back on the good in this game as some of the best but I never want to replay this game ever again. Also this game only makes Gaiden look even dumber and further cements it at as a $50 scam. Yokoyama fucking lied Hanawa is not important and he fucking knew that.
Mark my words that this game while currently being hailed as the best game in the series, that its perfect and other things like that will be looked back on a lot more negatively once the honeymoon phase is over, once hypebeasts move onto the next thing, once people won't freakout if you have anything negative to say about it. It won't be a hot take or "being contrarian" to think that the game is mid, super front loaded and falls apart in the end. It's fine if you do think its perfect and its your favorite game or whatever but the amount of people who lose their shit when you have anything negative to say about this game or gaiden is seriously annoying.
This game also made me get into a car accident so fuck it lol
This game is a mess. I wasn’t kidding when I said this is the MGS4 of the series. An extremely ambitious, earnest, heartfelt celebration of the series that has extremely high highs but also constantly falls on its face with extremely stupid writing.
The pacing is some of the worst we’ve seen from RGG. For a game that can easily be 100+ hours long it is both too long but also too short in areas. It constantly pulls you away from the main story to do very involved mini game/sub system tutorials but then has no time in the final hours to wrap up most of the story. At least 4 of the main characters this game is about don’t show up in the final cutscene. You just have to be told about what they are doing from a mouth piece so we can wrap shit up. Kiryu is just kinda left in this weird limbo as they don’t explain what the fuck got them to this point with an achievement titles “man who reclaimed his name”. It genuinely feels like there is either an entire chapter or at least a huge segment of one missing from the end. One of the main villains just stops showing up for 10+ hours only to be seen again in a cut away and is completely unrecognizable for at least another few hours. They then try to do the coin locker scene again with them and it feels completely unearned because they haven’t done anything. The two main villains you do fight are extremely forgettable and underwhelming. One is given what you’d imagine to be a super important connection to Ichiban but it never comes up. The two share a single cutscene at the start of the game and that’s it. Why was it even a plot point to begin with then???? So many plot threads just go no where or are left extremely unsatisfying as they hand wave them away so it can’t be viewed as “a plot hole”. I seriously think how they structure their stories needs to change because I don’t think the Yakuza writing formula they’ve had for 2 decades translates to a 100 hour JRPG. Imo the best way to enjoy the main story of these games is when you can just progress the plot freely and not be bogged down by side content or busy work. I usually save that stuff for premium adventure so the story isn’t so “start and stop”. But you can’t do that in these games because of the rpg leveling and just how the story constantly blocks you to do other shit I am currently not interested in. No RGG I don’t give a fuck about your Pokémon clone and it’s 30 minute+ forced tutorial I just want to get on with chapter 4 please.
Most of the cast has nothing to do in this game which would be fine if they didn’t force them to have boring ass drink links you need to do to make them objectively better in gameplay.
The gameplay needs massive changes going forward because Jesus Christ was I sick of the multiple grinds it imposes. The long battles they do in this game are terrible. In previous entries you’d have a long gauntlet where you’d have to fight to a location and they do this here but they constantly make you take the most out of the way route and block off better ones with excuses like “there are dudes over there!” Only to send you down an alley with 7 fights. If 9 does the same formula 8 repeated from 7 I might just drop the series. I do not want to go back to scrounging for money and being locked out of jobs till chapter 5 again. I do not want to have to do massive material grinds for good gear. I do not want to have 80% of the moves you get to be fucking useless because they aren’t an AOE and don’t deal elemental damage.
Highlights of this game is everything they do with Kiryu outside of the final chapter. Life links are overall goated outside of some implications of how no one reacting to Kiryu being alive despite you are only able to see them after Kiryu is broadcasted on national news to be alive.
There is honestly too much to talk about with this game So I’m just gonna end it by saying this: I’ll look back on the good in this game as some of the best but I never want to replay this game ever again. Also this game only makes Gaiden look even dumber and further cements it at as a $50 scam. Yokoyama fucking lied Hanawa is not important and he fucking knew that.
Mark my words that this game while currently being hailed as the best game in the series, that its perfect and other things like that will be looked back on a lot more negatively once the honeymoon phase is over, once hypebeasts move onto the next thing, once people won't freakout if you have anything negative to say about it. It won't be a hot take or "being contrarian" to think that the game is mid, super front loaded and falls apart in the end. It's fine if you do think its perfect and its your favorite game or whatever but the amount of people who lose their shit when you have anything negative to say about this game or gaiden is seriously annoying.
This game also made me get into a car accident so fuck it lol
la mejor descripcion que he visto de este juego es "big cock but no cum"
los dos malos principales son un chosto viniendo de los !!4!! ultimos juegos, la parte de kiryu empieza fuerte y luego hace cosas rarisimas en los life links que luego en el final olvida por completo, la secuencia de antes de los creditos es ??? e ichiban se vuelve un absoluto gilipollas en este juego
ojala hubiera sido lo que prometían los trailers, pero es que los trailers literalmente ya enseñaban todo lo que vale la pena ver
no se a donde iran con el futuro de la saga pero ya no me voy a volver a ilusionar como con este
los dos malos principales son un chosto viniendo de los !!4!! ultimos juegos, la parte de kiryu empieza fuerte y luego hace cosas rarisimas en los life links que luego en el final olvida por completo, la secuencia de antes de los creditos es ??? e ichiban se vuelve un absoluto gilipollas en este juego
ojala hubiera sido lo que prometían los trailers, pero es que los trailers literalmente ya enseñaban todo lo que vale la pena ver
no se a donde iran con el futuro de la saga pero ya no me voy a volver a ilusionar como con este
Trepang2
2023
Another of those games which I should theoretically love but somehow it just doesn't do it for me.
I've read multiple times that this game is like a spiritual successor to the FEAR games, but I don't think that's the case at all.
Pros:
- The gunplay feels very meaty
Cons:
- The story is laughably bad
- The "horror" is laughably bad
- The mission design is all over the place
- The hub in between the missions is completely useless and totally lifeless (a mission select menu would have been way better for this game)
- The weapon customization feels tacked on
tldr: The gunplay is fun but is not enough to carry the full game. Don't get fooled that this game is the next FEAR, it is not. Get this when it's on sale somewhere for like 10 bucks for some quick fun.
I've read multiple times that this game is like a spiritual successor to the FEAR games, but I don't think that's the case at all.
Pros:
- The gunplay feels very meaty
Cons:
- The story is laughably bad
- The "horror" is laughably bad
- The mission design is all over the place
- The hub in between the missions is completely useless and totally lifeless (a mission select menu would have been way better for this game)
- The weapon customization feels tacked on
tldr: The gunplay is fun but is not enough to carry the full game. Don't get fooled that this game is the next FEAR, it is not. Get this when it's on sale somewhere for like 10 bucks for some quick fun.
Trepang2
2023
pretty graphics and fun gunplay but the story, level design, horror elements, and difficulty settings are all over the place and not very compelling. even the movement, which does feel pretty good most of the time, has some small issues that add up to some frustrating moments on extreme difficulty - with content locked behind it. there's worse ways to spend a few hours but i'm not gonna replay
Sludge Life
2020
me ha gustao lo que he jugao, no me ha gustado el mareo de dos horas que me ha durado todo el dia despues de jugarlo
Lies of P
2023
Good:
-Great production values, good graphics.
-Surprisingly good enemy variety.
Mixed:
-Is very parry-centric, if you don't like parrying don't play it.
-is a linear game.
Bad:
-it has Elden Ring syndrome in which enemies delay their attacks too much and are hyperaggressive.
-Gemini is a redditor
-The setting is stupid, i mean, a videogame free adaptation of Pinocchio? Are you fucking kidding me!? the developers are korean for god sake, Couldn't they have made a video game about the Samhan Era? (The Three Kingdoms of Korea)
Done.
-Great production values, good graphics.
-Surprisingly good enemy variety.
Mixed:
-Is very parry-centric, if you don't like parrying don't play it.
-is a linear game.
Bad:
-it has Elden Ring syndrome in which enemies delay their attacks too much and are hyperaggressive.
-Gemini is a redditor
-The setting is stupid, i mean, a videogame free adaptation of Pinocchio? Are you fucking kidding me!? the developers are korean for god sake, Couldn't they have made a video game about the Samhan Era? (The Three Kingdoms of Korea)
Done.
tatsuya sounds like he's permanently stuck in a asmr video whenever he talks and the game gets an imaginary backloggd half star point thingy for that
Eternights
2023
The black panther for dudes who literally get no bitches and stack zero paper
