God shed a single tear when he laid eyes on this game. I can't even think of how proud everyone involved with this production must be of their work, this is one of the most beautiful games ever made.

Also set your system to 480p if you're playing on PS3, the game is way too clean in higher resolutions. Don't play the PS4 remake, it's the epitome of bastardized "shiny graphexxxxxx" remakes that lack the heart and soul of the original, not to mention any integrity. It's a shame I have to give an asterisk to games like this that can't be bothered to be properly preserved in remakes by just including the original untouched but there's no changing it now. Oh well. Anyways, play video game!

Okay... what the fuck is this? Basically Tecmo saw it necessary to remake Dead or Alive 2, which is a game that could already pass for a 6th generation release, with the graphics engine of a newer game. But, like, this isn't even really a remake. There was a cutscene they tried to redo but the stage it was in is completely different from the original. It's just so odd. This doesn't feel much like DOA2 at all. The character roster is the same I think, but everything else is basically a new game. As a game on it's own, this is pretty great. I just really wish they'd label it as something else. I'm guessing this was mainly made for the online component, so it should've been called "Dead or Alive Online" or something, because as-is this is pretty misleading. All it really does is turn off players who don't usually like remakes.

Also that new opening made me laugh out loud. Whoever decided to play the Dream On song over a melodramatic scene of anime lolis deserves a serious raise.

That ending reminded me of my uncle's wedding video...




































































































they were divorced three weeks later

It's been forever since I've played most of the X games and I've hardly touched the PS2 ones so I decided to play through the whole series. The whole experience has been very interesting, X1, X2, and X4 are some of my favorite games but having hardly played the others it was fascinating to see where the series went. It's just... I haven't yet internalized the fact that I'm playing the next game...

you know maybe I should call this off actually I'm getting a little exhausted. like maybe I should go on vacation or something or see a doctor or something just spitballing. I mean maybe my PS2 isn't working so I can't play it I mean I could always not play the game you know that sounds nice I mean like I can try alcohol that seems like fun maybe

What the flying fuck happened? I don't just mean that in reference to this game in particular, though that is also an interesting question. No, I'm moreso referring to the Mega Man X series in general. How the hell do you go from a perfectly solid, stable, and polished game to... this. No matter what you're real thoughts on Mega Man X4 are, I don't think that you can deny that it is a refined product that is worthy of it's namesake. X5 isn't quite as solid but it is still a fine game, at least in my opinion. And more importantly to this topic, it is a functioning video game that someone can enjoy within reasonable conditions.

Then, somehow, the next game immediately takes a nosedive into the toilet, down the pipes, and into the sewer. I won't go on about X6 because, well, it is still clearly in the same lines as the previous games. It's bad, don't get me wrong, but it seems like a fluke that happened due to poor management and rushed development. The core of the experience isn't completely terrible, it still shares the same base mechanics and appeal from the previous games. A really dedicated fan could find enjoyment in it.

Then, somehow, they made a game completely devoid of anything that made the original X games good. Mega Man X7 doesn't feel like a real game, it's like some made-up fakey fake joke that was made to implant the words "Burn To The Ground!" into your brain. I'm serious when I saw that this is probably one of the worst games of the century and I have no qualms saying so. I struggle to even call this a game! It's like an anti-game, like it isn't supposed to function. This is an action platformer where you don't have to platform and you can just walk past the enemies. This isn't a game! You can literally walk past all of the fucking enemies! You know how defeated enemies in Mario 64 will drop coins, thus encouraging you to fight them? This game doesn't do that! It doesn't do anything to make you want to fight enemies.

The levels in this game feel like they just took a level from a 2D Mega Man game and plopped it into 3D. That means you can literally walk past everything! Saying even that is way too generous because there is not a single thing in X7 that comes close to its predecessors. You know how platform games have you platform on things? Like, you are asked to overcome obstacles in the stage to proceed? This game doesn't have that, it DOESN'T HAVE THAT! It is a game of walking forward and doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. There is nothing, not a single thing at all X7 does well outside of maybe an alright soundtrack. What is there to enjoy about this game?????

I was planning on writing a funny review where I like make allusions to classic literature and make some profound statement on video games or whatever, but then I played the game and realized that would be literally impossible because there's no material for that in the game itself. The reason a game like this pisses me off so much is that there is no excuse for it to be garbage since there was six previous titles to pull from. X8 better be a fucking gift from god because I have no idea how any series could ever, EVER bounce back from this. And no, I'm not finishing the game and probably never will. Jesus Christ, why is this game so terrible?

I get why people who are super into planning their routes and stuff through Mega Man games might not like X8 but it's going for something different than it's predecessors. Take the game for what it is and you'll find a genuinely great game with a lot to appreciate. I'm serious, this game is actually pretty awesome and is full of cool stuff. There were so many times I went "wow, what a smart idea," or "what a challenging section," or "this game is fucking cool!" X8 is different from the previous games but in a good way! I really enjoyed my time here and it's a damn shame that a title that tried so hard is stuck between the sticky tentacles of the previous two or three games. Go in with an open mind and you might find a new favorite.

Arcade-perfect Perfection. Probably. I'm assuming that this is the best one for like the competitive players and all that but honestly most of my enjoyment came from the sheer absurdity of the game. Like, there's this intense music playing while a demon or something gets his ass beat by little red riding hood with grenades. On a train that has a mouth. Oh, of course the train is piloted by a skeleton. Truly every frame is a painting. Is it supposed to be this funny or am I an asshole? It's all pure fun, and cooler than Street Fighter could ever be.

Bill Murray
and then there's Ernie Hudson
Dan Aykroyd
and Harold Ramis
They were the Ghostbusters
but now they are no longer busting ghooooosts
They are now doing

porno

Bill Murray
he is in the porno
He is screwing the ghost
And sometimes he fucked
It's a movie

congrats microsoft for making this really cool and forward-thinking Custom Soundtracks feature on the Xbox, then making the only way to transfer files desktop is with shitty music app that for some reason requires Windows Media Player 9 on the computer (spoiler alert: I can't install Media Player 9 on Windows 10).

I'm aware I could also rip them from a CD but my disc drive doesn't work anymore.

This makes me angrier than it should.

Chicken_nugget attacked a teamate.

Terrorists Win.

okay real question here: why am I, the killer person, buying weapons? Does the story explain this? I am a terrorist. Like, why am I here if I'm not already armed? MY JOB IS TO KILL PEOPLE. Isn't it? If there's any terrorists on Backloggd, please let me know if you have to purchase your weapons on-the-spot when you're doing the whole "terrorism" thing, I'd love to hear about it.