153 Reviews liked by Jayvee
MultiVersus
2024
Am I playing a video game or visiting the fucking foreign exchange? Before the tutorial is even done, MultiVersus starts throwing its different currencies at you - the gems, the battle points, the diddly-doodlies, and then fucks right off, not even bothering to teach you the controls properly. Mobile gaming and its consequences have been a fucking disaster for the human race. MultiVersus is ostensibly a Smash clone making use of WB's many phagocytosed IPs, but in reality it's a front to sell you imaginary shit you don't need as hard as possible.
This game is so utterly banal, so sterile, so bereft of personality, so devoid of character, that it sparks no joy at all. The monkey's paw curled, and I realized a huge crossover between all these characters was better left as a pipe dream. Any smidgen of a stimulus has been carefully scrubbed out, with the art style sitting cozily between corporate training video and GrubHub ad, while the music never dares to edge near the foreground. It took me a while to realize that they actually were using musical motifs appropriate to the stages and characters, just that the soundtrack was arranged to be as same-y and unexciting as possible lest the customer switch out of 'buy' mode.
As for the gameplay... it's functional. There really isn't a lot to do, and the game feels very slow, and you spend more time looking at rewards screens screaming 'CLAIM CLAIM CLAIM CLAIM' than you do actually playing. Almost none of the characters are unlocked by default, to force you to either grind for or buy them - it actually kind of shows how diluted Superman's brand has become that he's unlocked by default in a game this greedy. Guess we should accept Batman is the DC mascot now?
This is one of the most cynicism-inducing experiences I've ever had with a video game, and the second-fastest I've abandoned one. It's joever. The obvious attempts to fry your dopamine receptors don't even work anymore... Well, before I quit I did play against two people who had bought custom skins yet barely seemed to know which button did what (and I am by no means good at Smash), so maybe it does work on some folks.
This game is so utterly banal, so sterile, so bereft of personality, so devoid of character, that it sparks no joy at all. The monkey's paw curled, and I realized a huge crossover between all these characters was better left as a pipe dream. Any smidgen of a stimulus has been carefully scrubbed out, with the art style sitting cozily between corporate training video and GrubHub ad, while the music never dares to edge near the foreground. It took me a while to realize that they actually were using musical motifs appropriate to the stages and characters, just that the soundtrack was arranged to be as same-y and unexciting as possible lest the customer switch out of 'buy' mode.
As for the gameplay... it's functional. There really isn't a lot to do, and the game feels very slow, and you spend more time looking at rewards screens screaming 'CLAIM CLAIM CLAIM CLAIM' than you do actually playing. Almost none of the characters are unlocked by default, to force you to either grind for or buy them - it actually kind of shows how diluted Superman's brand has become that he's unlocked by default in a game this greedy. Guess we should accept Batman is the DC mascot now?
This is one of the most cynicism-inducing experiences I've ever had with a video game, and the second-fastest I've abandoned one. It's joever. The obvious attempts to fry your dopamine receptors don't even work anymore... Well, before I quit I did play against two people who had bought custom skins yet barely seemed to know which button did what (and I am by no means good at Smash), so maybe it does work on some folks.
Super Mario Land
1989
You can’t have a Nintendo console without having its launch game being a Mario title. Some may argue the nes was the console that started that trend but I’ll always say that the game boy was the console to solidify the Mario series as the one thing you have to have launch your console. This is also the first Mario game not to have any sort of influence from miyamoto himself and was actually the game that was going to show off the game boy’s power…until they decided to bundle in Tetris instead but that was probably a much safer option. So let’s dive into the very first Mario land game.
The story is pretty simple: Mario goes to a place known as sarasaland in the hope of saving princess daisy from the evil tatanga. The game is split into 4 worlds which each consist of 3 levels each with there usually being a boss at the end of each of the final levels. The levels themselves are very similar to the original Mario bros. You have the suspended blocks in the air, the goomba’s and koopa’s, the pipes leading to secret areas, and the power ups. However, the levels no longer end with the flag pole and instead just let Mario go into a small door, or if your feeling a little adventurous, you can do a small platforming section to get to a door above to go through a bonus minigame. These either grant you extra lives or a power up.
2 of the levels are also shooter levels which are…fine? It’s not like I have an awful grudge against them cause there are only 2 and they don’t go on for that long. As for the levels themselves they are also fine. My only real issue is that it is all way too small. I get why they made it like that, it’s a small screen and they wanted it to have similar dimensions to the original, but did they not factor in that I can’t see shit at the best of times and no night light will be able to help me see this minuscule shit.
Overall, Mario land is definitely a quirky little game boy title with some questionable design choices. Now that I think about it, Tetris was probably a pretty good choice to show off the system’s capabilities. The game is still really fun and I would probably still recommend people try it, but its sequel would definitely improve things and also bring in a new problem.
Quirky little game boy game, goated music, tiny characters, oh daisy!
The story is pretty simple: Mario goes to a place known as sarasaland in the hope of saving princess daisy from the evil tatanga. The game is split into 4 worlds which each consist of 3 levels each with there usually being a boss at the end of each of the final levels. The levels themselves are very similar to the original Mario bros. You have the suspended blocks in the air, the goomba’s and koopa’s, the pipes leading to secret areas, and the power ups. However, the levels no longer end with the flag pole and instead just let Mario go into a small door, or if your feeling a little adventurous, you can do a small platforming section to get to a door above to go through a bonus minigame. These either grant you extra lives or a power up.
2 of the levels are also shooter levels which are…fine? It’s not like I have an awful grudge against them cause there are only 2 and they don’t go on for that long. As for the levels themselves they are also fine. My only real issue is that it is all way too small. I get why they made it like that, it’s a small screen and they wanted it to have similar dimensions to the original, but did they not factor in that I can’t see shit at the best of times and no night light will be able to help me see this minuscule shit.
Overall, Mario land is definitely a quirky little game boy title with some questionable design choices. Now that I think about it, Tetris was probably a pretty good choice to show off the system’s capabilities. The game is still really fun and I would probably still recommend people try it, but its sequel would definitely improve things and also bring in a new problem.
Quirky little game boy game, goated music, tiny characters, oh daisy!
3 years later, after the relative success of Mario land 1, yokoi would return and give us a Mario land sequel we all deserved. A sequel that improved on the original in quite a few ways. Its sequel would also end up being quite a hit, with the game getting a lot more inspiration from the recent Super Mario World and going above and beyond to make the game as ambitious as possible. So let’s dive into it shall we?
So this time, Mario land 2 actually does take place in Mario land. While Mario was away, his rival Wario took over and now Mario has to take it back by finding 6 coins in 6 differently themed areas and then facing up against Wario. This was the game to introduce Wario and would end up being the precursor to that of the Wario land games, which I promise, I will get to one day.
In terms of gameplay, it takes both a few steps forward and a step back. I said it took a lot more inspiration from Super Mario World and trust me: it really does show. The sprites match that of it and the power-ups also reflect it. This time there are two: the fire flower and…a carrot…which helps you fly. The fire flower is a lot more traditional, with the carrot being very similar to things such as the tanooki suit and the cape feather. Then there are the 6 different areas which are all accessed by a world map, which is very similar to the world maps of Super Mario Bros. 3 and obviously World. The 6 worlds include the Tree zone, the space zone, the macro zone, the pumpkin zone, the turtle zone and the Mario zone with them each having different bosses and amount of levels.
After all this we finally face up to Wario in a pretty interesting final level. Personally, this is probably one of my least favourite final levels, mainly because of its random bullshit thrown everywhere. You survive a pool of lava and then whoop- looks like you got hit by a random mechanical fist. The bane of my existence. The Wario boss is also pretty annoying but it isn’t all too bad. He just uses the different power ups you used and you have to adapt to them and hopefully not die. But then, Mario finally gets his castle back, and harmony is restored.
Something quick to mention is the zoomed in camera. My problem with the first Mario land was it was way too zoomed out which would probably be tedious to play in the wrong lighting conditions. But thankfully for this game they zoomed it out! Well…maybe zoomed it out a little too far. This was the step back I was talking about earlier. The camera is a pain to deal with. The only thing you can control is what is above you and what is below you, anything to the sides you’re just gonna have to risk it and hope an enemy or spike isn’t there. I didn’t have that many problems with it but when it annoyed me, it annoyed me.
Overall, out of the 2 games I’d say Mario Land 2 is a great improvement over the original. It applies a lot more inspiration from its console counterparts whilst still doing its own thing. While it is still quite flawed in areas, I have to admit it’s a very fun time. Whether I’ll get to the Wario land games I’ll definitely see.
Quirky sequel to a quirky game boy game, music still slaps, nice sprites, cool areas, shit camera, and fuck the mechanical arms
So this time, Mario land 2 actually does take place in Mario land. While Mario was away, his rival Wario took over and now Mario has to take it back by finding 6 coins in 6 differently themed areas and then facing up against Wario. This was the game to introduce Wario and would end up being the precursor to that of the Wario land games, which I promise, I will get to one day.
In terms of gameplay, it takes both a few steps forward and a step back. I said it took a lot more inspiration from Super Mario World and trust me: it really does show. The sprites match that of it and the power-ups also reflect it. This time there are two: the fire flower and…a carrot…which helps you fly. The fire flower is a lot more traditional, with the carrot being very similar to things such as the tanooki suit and the cape feather. Then there are the 6 different areas which are all accessed by a world map, which is very similar to the world maps of Super Mario Bros. 3 and obviously World. The 6 worlds include the Tree zone, the space zone, the macro zone, the pumpkin zone, the turtle zone and the Mario zone with them each having different bosses and amount of levels.
After all this we finally face up to Wario in a pretty interesting final level. Personally, this is probably one of my least favourite final levels, mainly because of its random bullshit thrown everywhere. You survive a pool of lava and then whoop- looks like you got hit by a random mechanical fist. The bane of my existence. The Wario boss is also pretty annoying but it isn’t all too bad. He just uses the different power ups you used and you have to adapt to them and hopefully not die. But then, Mario finally gets his castle back, and harmony is restored.
Something quick to mention is the zoomed in camera. My problem with the first Mario land was it was way too zoomed out which would probably be tedious to play in the wrong lighting conditions. But thankfully for this game they zoomed it out! Well…maybe zoomed it out a little too far. This was the step back I was talking about earlier. The camera is a pain to deal with. The only thing you can control is what is above you and what is below you, anything to the sides you’re just gonna have to risk it and hope an enemy or spike isn’t there. I didn’t have that many problems with it but when it annoyed me, it annoyed me.
Overall, out of the 2 games I’d say Mario Land 2 is a great improvement over the original. It applies a lot more inspiration from its console counterparts whilst still doing its own thing. While it is still quite flawed in areas, I have to admit it’s a very fun time. Whether I’ll get to the Wario land games I’ll definitely see.
Quirky sequel to a quirky game boy game, music still slaps, nice sprites, cool areas, shit camera, and fuck the mechanical arms
Tomato Adventure
2002
So are tomatoes really fruits?
You know, I really miss alpha dream. The Mario & Luigi games are quite possibly some of my favourite RPGs. They are absolutely full to the brim with great stories, charming original characters, incredible jokes, and some of the best music to ever grace a Mario RPG. So you can probably imagine my reaction when I found out alpha dream had been forced to close due to bankruptcy. Thankfully, the series ended up being picked up again by Nintendo and recently a new game in the series was announced (with hopefully the same staff who made the games at alpha dream). But that begs the question: what about alpha dreams other series? No not that one, I meant the other game. Yes that one.
So before there was Mario and Luigi superstar saga, there was actually another RPG made by alpha dream. Yep, this game was called tomato adventure, a little game made for the game boy advance targeted towards young children. In the same vein as the Mario & Luigi games, tomato adventure is also meant to be a sort of “kids gateway into RPG’s” kinda game. In fact this game is actually the reason why Nintendo chose alpha dream to create the Mario & Luigi series in the first place so uhh…thanks tomato adventure. But this also begs the question: does the game hold up just as well as the Mario & Luigi games? Well the game was only released in Japan but thanks to the work of the legendary localiser that’s ‘tomato’ we are able to play the game in English. So let’s hop straight into it shall we and experience the alpha dream’s odd and quirky RPG.
Did I mention the story is pretty strange? So the game is set in the ketchup kingdom which is ruled by the evil king abira…who is a baby. Our protagonist: DeMille, is a young rabbit who absolutely hates tomatoes, because he doesn’t like tomatoes he is known as a ‘dropper’ and is basically sent to live with other ‘droppers’ who hate tomatoes. DeMille ends up escaping the village he is stuck in with his girlfriend patharan to look in a place known as the toy ruins. They end up not being able to find what they’re looking for and pasaran gets taken by brikky and grikky (two henchmen of abira’s) who end up using her to try and power abira’s super weapon. So with that DeMille ends up going on an adventure to try and save her. Along the way DeMille also meets other characters: Alesa (a young girl who is obsessed with Abira and joins DeMille in the hopes of meeting him), Sofubi (a tailor who wants to lose weight and decides to join the party), and Rellek (a journalist who joins the party in hopes of finding a good story to report). All of the party members have uhh…interesting motives to say the least but they are pretty funny.
As for gameplay, I actually quite like what it’s going for in a way, but the execution leaves quite a lot to be desired. As soon as you get into fight, DeMille and one other party member fight enemies using their ‘gimmicks’. These come in the form of toy like weapons that require different tasks to be performed. For instance, the yo-yo like weapon makes you have to stop a moving bar in a certain zone to get the maximum amount of damage. There are many different gimmicks with different tasks that need to be performed with some being more powerful than others. Although, you can power up these gimmicks in 2 different ways. Firstly, you can use different things called ‘cells’ to power up the gimmicks which raises their attack. Secondly, you could also just change the difficulty of the gimmicks which is a thing you can also do. This makes the damage of the gimmicks much higher but the problem is it also makes performing the gimmicks much much harder. While it does push you to put the gimmicks at a higher difficulty, they end up being super hard to perform. You even get more powerful gimmicks from the hanzo brothers as the game goes along so there’s no real point in raising the difficulty and putting cells into older gimmicks if newer ones will outperform them anyway.
There are also awe points that you can get in battle. What are they exactly? Well if you successfully perform a gimmick you’ll get awe points. Once you get enough, you can then successfully pull off a very strong attack against an enemy. However, if you fail a gimmick your awe points are gone and you have to start all over again. The amount of awe points is also linked to the difficulty of the gimmick and can you see where I’m going with this? This can be a problem because then, if you’ve put the difficulty pretty low, and you slowly get awe points, and then you lose them, you have to start all over again and it can get pretty annoying. Although the normal attacks are just fine. Something I will admit is I do like the amount of choice when it comes to gimmicks, some are exclusive to some party members but they all feel very fresh and different and you can easily pick and choose which ones you like and don’t like.
We then have the music which is pretty fine. You can tell that this game uses the exact same sound font as superstar saga because some songs sound very very similar to it. The overall quality though is just fine. I mean when there are bangers, they are pretty good, but most of the other tracks are kinda meh. Supposedly this is actually the first game the composer did work on and you can kinda tell, but if you ask me: he didn’t do too bad of a job. Also, before I forget, the visuals of the game are absolutely amazing. I don’t care what anyone says but I think it looks really nice. It feels like they aren’t afraid to make the world and areas of it really wacky sometimes. I’m happy superstar saga followed a similar style cause what they did here actually kinda impressed me.
The game ends with us finally taking down Abira and everything seems great: Alesa hasn’t gotten over Abira and is now in love with Sofubi (in the most awkward way), Sofubi has accepted that being fat is ok, Rellek is happy to be with everyone, and DeMille is finally reunited with Pasaran. So what could possibly go wro- THERES A CLIFFHANGER??? So after you do everything, the party accidentally end up in the pepper kingdom and this time Alesa is taken away by the king of the pepper kingdom: Pimara. So the party end up having to go on yet another adventure to save Alesa.
Unfortunately, the game never received a sequel or much recognition. As I mentioned before, it was a Japan only game so we never saw a release in the west, supposedly due to Nintendo considering the games audience being ‘too young’ for westerners. In Japan the game was pretty well received and sold decently well but never seemed to raise much attention. There were supposedly rumoured plans for a sequel and there was even some art found on alpha dream’s website of an updated DeMille and Pasaran but since alpha dream’s closure, and plans have probably been scrapped.
So what did I think of the game overall? I think it was a pretty nice change of pace from most RPG’s and definitely excelled in different aspects than what I was expecting. The visuals and designs of the world feel really vibrant and unique and the writing was really funny. The gameplay, whilst allowing for many possibilities, ended up kinda feeling annoying at points. But I think people should definitely give this game a go. It certainly isn’t a masterpiece but if your a fan of the Mario & Luigi games then I’d certainly recommend it. As for where the series will go I have no idea. Here’s hoping that maybe Nintendo will pick it up and be interested in making a sequel, or even a remake. Since the Mario & Luigi series did finally come back, you never know. Here’s hoping.
Unique visuals, ok gameplay, decent story, great characters, funny writing, kaizo genuinely scares me
You know, I really miss alpha dream. The Mario & Luigi games are quite possibly some of my favourite RPGs. They are absolutely full to the brim with great stories, charming original characters, incredible jokes, and some of the best music to ever grace a Mario RPG. So you can probably imagine my reaction when I found out alpha dream had been forced to close due to bankruptcy. Thankfully, the series ended up being picked up again by Nintendo and recently a new game in the series was announced (with hopefully the same staff who made the games at alpha dream). But that begs the question: what about alpha dreams other series? No not that one, I meant the other game. Yes that one.
So before there was Mario and Luigi superstar saga, there was actually another RPG made by alpha dream. Yep, this game was called tomato adventure, a little game made for the game boy advance targeted towards young children. In the same vein as the Mario & Luigi games, tomato adventure is also meant to be a sort of “kids gateway into RPG’s” kinda game. In fact this game is actually the reason why Nintendo chose alpha dream to create the Mario & Luigi series in the first place so uhh…thanks tomato adventure. But this also begs the question: does the game hold up just as well as the Mario & Luigi games? Well the game was only released in Japan but thanks to the work of the legendary localiser that’s ‘tomato’ we are able to play the game in English. So let’s hop straight into it shall we and experience the alpha dream’s odd and quirky RPG.
Did I mention the story is pretty strange? So the game is set in the ketchup kingdom which is ruled by the evil king abira…who is a baby. Our protagonist: DeMille, is a young rabbit who absolutely hates tomatoes, because he doesn’t like tomatoes he is known as a ‘dropper’ and is basically sent to live with other ‘droppers’ who hate tomatoes. DeMille ends up escaping the village he is stuck in with his girlfriend patharan to look in a place known as the toy ruins. They end up not being able to find what they’re looking for and pasaran gets taken by brikky and grikky (two henchmen of abira’s) who end up using her to try and power abira’s super weapon. So with that DeMille ends up going on an adventure to try and save her. Along the way DeMille also meets other characters: Alesa (a young girl who is obsessed with Abira and joins DeMille in the hopes of meeting him), Sofubi (a tailor who wants to lose weight and decides to join the party), and Rellek (a journalist who joins the party in hopes of finding a good story to report). All of the party members have uhh…interesting motives to say the least but they are pretty funny.
As for gameplay, I actually quite like what it’s going for in a way, but the execution leaves quite a lot to be desired. As soon as you get into fight, DeMille and one other party member fight enemies using their ‘gimmicks’. These come in the form of toy like weapons that require different tasks to be performed. For instance, the yo-yo like weapon makes you have to stop a moving bar in a certain zone to get the maximum amount of damage. There are many different gimmicks with different tasks that need to be performed with some being more powerful than others. Although, you can power up these gimmicks in 2 different ways. Firstly, you can use different things called ‘cells’ to power up the gimmicks which raises their attack. Secondly, you could also just change the difficulty of the gimmicks which is a thing you can also do. This makes the damage of the gimmicks much higher but the problem is it also makes performing the gimmicks much much harder. While it does push you to put the gimmicks at a higher difficulty, they end up being super hard to perform. You even get more powerful gimmicks from the hanzo brothers as the game goes along so there’s no real point in raising the difficulty and putting cells into older gimmicks if newer ones will outperform them anyway.
There are also awe points that you can get in battle. What are they exactly? Well if you successfully perform a gimmick you’ll get awe points. Once you get enough, you can then successfully pull off a very strong attack against an enemy. However, if you fail a gimmick your awe points are gone and you have to start all over again. The amount of awe points is also linked to the difficulty of the gimmick and can you see where I’m going with this? This can be a problem because then, if you’ve put the difficulty pretty low, and you slowly get awe points, and then you lose them, you have to start all over again and it can get pretty annoying. Although the normal attacks are just fine. Something I will admit is I do like the amount of choice when it comes to gimmicks, some are exclusive to some party members but they all feel very fresh and different and you can easily pick and choose which ones you like and don’t like.
We then have the music which is pretty fine. You can tell that this game uses the exact same sound font as superstar saga because some songs sound very very similar to it. The overall quality though is just fine. I mean when there are bangers, they are pretty good, but most of the other tracks are kinda meh. Supposedly this is actually the first game the composer did work on and you can kinda tell, but if you ask me: he didn’t do too bad of a job. Also, before I forget, the visuals of the game are absolutely amazing. I don’t care what anyone says but I think it looks really nice. It feels like they aren’t afraid to make the world and areas of it really wacky sometimes. I’m happy superstar saga followed a similar style cause what they did here actually kinda impressed me.
The game ends with us finally taking down Abira and everything seems great: Alesa hasn’t gotten over Abira and is now in love with Sofubi (in the most awkward way), Sofubi has accepted that being fat is ok, Rellek is happy to be with everyone, and DeMille is finally reunited with Pasaran. So what could possibly go wro- THERES A CLIFFHANGER??? So after you do everything, the party accidentally end up in the pepper kingdom and this time Alesa is taken away by the king of the pepper kingdom: Pimara. So the party end up having to go on yet another adventure to save Alesa.
Unfortunately, the game never received a sequel or much recognition. As I mentioned before, it was a Japan only game so we never saw a release in the west, supposedly due to Nintendo considering the games audience being ‘too young’ for westerners. In Japan the game was pretty well received and sold decently well but never seemed to raise much attention. There were supposedly rumoured plans for a sequel and there was even some art found on alpha dream’s website of an updated DeMille and Pasaran but since alpha dream’s closure, and plans have probably been scrapped.
So what did I think of the game overall? I think it was a pretty nice change of pace from most RPG’s and definitely excelled in different aspects than what I was expecting. The visuals and designs of the world feel really vibrant and unique and the writing was really funny. The gameplay, whilst allowing for many possibilities, ended up kinda feeling annoying at points. But I think people should definitely give this game a go. It certainly isn’t a masterpiece but if your a fan of the Mario & Luigi games then I’d certainly recommend it. As for where the series will go I have no idea. Here’s hoping that maybe Nintendo will pick it up and be interested in making a sequel, or even a remake. Since the Mario & Luigi series did finally come back, you never know. Here’s hoping.
Unique visuals, ok gameplay, decent story, great characters, funny writing, kaizo genuinely scares me
This is a surprisingly good port of Street Fighter IV to the 3DS, however there is also surprisingly little to talk about here. It is essentially just Street Fighter IV but on the 3DS. The main issue people tend to have with this game is the fact that your only controller happens to be a Nintendo 3DS, but after playing the mobile version of this game I'm grateful to even have a joystick at all, and it honestly doesn't feel that bad. My inputs were pretty consistent and even most combos were pretty easy to pull off. The only thing that I found slightly annoying was inputting super/ultra moves, but the ability to do special moves by tapping the touch screen completely fixes that, even if it is a little busted on characters like Gief. There is also new headache inducing 3D mode that I would never recommend playing, but otherwise this is a pretty solid port.
Nano Assault EX
2013
Nano Assault EX is a good game, just not one I'm fully capable of enjoying. Its a rather standard twin-stick shooter/Bullet hell hybrid that at has decent levels, gameplay and graphics, but there are a few fatal flaws that hold it back:
-You can't skip cut-scenes, even when returning to a level after dying. You will die a lot.
-Projectiles are way too small to see, especially on the 3DS screen.
-The 3DS nub is an AWFUL way to aim.
-Enemies are capable of spawning directly on top of you and killing you instantly.
-Though the graphics are unique, they are very repetitive and make the game feel quite bland over time.
If these few flaws were eliminated this would easily become a 4/5 game. As it is however it can still be an alright time and is best in short play sessions.
-You can't skip cut-scenes, even when returning to a level after dying. You will die a lot.
-Projectiles are way too small to see, especially on the 3DS screen.
-The 3DS nub is an AWFUL way to aim.
-Enemies are capable of spawning directly on top of you and killing you instantly.
-Though the graphics are unique, they are very repetitive and make the game feel quite bland over time.
If these few flaws were eliminated this would easily become a 4/5 game. As it is however it can still be an alright time and is best in short play sessions.
Gran Turismo 5
2010
Gran Turismo 5 is proof that effort and passion truly can be put into a realistic racing sim. That being said, man I really don't like realistic racing sims. The game looks pretty good for the PS3, but not good enough to justify the fact that it took well over two hours to install itself from its disk. There seems to be a good amount of modes, plus a huge amount of different cars and customization options to choose from, and when not simply showing off its hyper realistic graphics, the presentation is pretty good as well. The problem is that the actual gameplay is just completely uninteresting to me. The driving is not that exciting and gets old really quickly. This is a pretty big problem in a game like this where you are expected to grind to progress through the game and get unlockables. The entire game is really meant for a certain type of person who would probably play it as their only video game for a significant period of time. If played in that manner, this would probably be a pretty decent game. But as it is, it's just not for me.
Call of Duty: Ghosts
2013
Generic Call of Duty #34656457473376
Metroid Dread
2021
This review contains spoilers
Metroid Dread is without a doubt one of the best 2D platformers ever made. It perfects the classic Metroid formula while also bringing in many new twists to the gameplay to freshen up the experience. It is going to be very difficult for me to name everything amazing about this game, so forgive me if I miss one of the many things this game gets right.
Metroid Dread has some unbelievably smooth controls. Samus nearly always does exactly what you want her to do. You almost never feel like you're losing any momentum while performing any given action. The returning melee attack from Samus Returns really helps with momentum as well. Rather than having to stop and shoot if an enemy is in your way, you can simply time your melee attack correctly to get a really satisfying camera effect and keep all your speed. All of this is aided by the game's incredible animation fluidly connecting everything together. Samus never clips into any other objects, and her model never jumps around from pose to pose. Everything she does while controlled by the player looks as if it could be found within a cutscene as well.
One of the things Metroid Dread does best is fooling the player into thinking they're a genius. Despite being a metroidvania, Metroid Dread doesn't really open up that much. There are many times where there is only one set route for the player to take and get to where they need to be, but the game does a very good job hiding this. The map is so naturally designed to point the player to where they need to be at any given moment that most players will likely just take the game's intended path first. They'll feel clever about it too, because from the player's perspective they just figured out how to navigate Metroid Dread's maze of a map on their first try. It is a personal skill of mine to be able to get lost in the simplest maps imaginable while playing literally any video game, so I feel like the fact that I was never confused on where to go for more than 5 minutes, not even once, really says something about how great this game's map is.
Now for one last subject on the topic of gameplay, THIS GAME HAS AMAZING BOSSES!!! I am generally someone that struggles while playing difficult video games, but Metroid Dreads bosses had me coming back for more every single time I was defeated. Despite most of them having huge flashy attacks that seem impossible to avoid, they slowly become more and more recognisable the more you fight each boss over and over. You’ll need to be able to remain composed in frantic and crazy situations and have full knowledge of each boss's moveset if you want to have any hope of taking them down. But once you finally do, it seems hard to believe that you ever could have struggled at all in the first place. You learn so much during each fight that you feel (in a similar way to mastering navigation) like a genius after every one, despite that being (also similar to navigation) the game's exact intention.
I touched on presentation briefly before, but I'll go into more detail here. This game looks absolutely amazing. As I previously mentioned, all of the game's animations are great, but there's more to it than that. To start, the game graphically looks really excellent. Despite the map you interact with being fairly blocky and video game-ish, It always blends perfectly into the beautiful backgrounds on each map. All of the backgrounds manage to be unique in their own way through incredible lighting, wonderfully realistic weather effects, meticulously crafted environments, and a general sense of life to everywhere you visit. I have never before played a 2D game that was able to make me feel so small in such massive areas. Also, because every location on every map is so detailed, the camera can pan all over the place and never has to be restricted to a purely 2D perspective. It's another major reason this game looks so good and feels so fun to play. When fighting bosses or discovering major locations the camera can go absolutely crazy and make you feel like you're watching an action movie.
One aspect I did not feel so positively about was the story. All of the game's cutscenes look great, it was very cool to see Samus interacting with real life chozos, and It's certainly cool that the game tries to be a conclusion to the original 2D metroid storyline. The problem is that it doesn't really conclude anything. I really wish Nintendo wasn't allergic to having a full proper story in their games the way other developers do. While it's true that story isn't absolutely necessary and fun is most important, stories in games can elevate them to much higher levels than they would otherwise be able to achieve, and I feel that there was a significant amount of missed potential here. It was very disappointing for the story to end simply with the planet exploding and then 5 seconds later… credits. Samus being a metroid is cool, but what does it mean for her? What are the consequences? Why do her powers suddenly disappear at the end of the game? Why does the X parasite become loyal to her? None of it is properly explained. It feels like it all happens for the sake of an easy ending. It's disappointing both as a conclusion to the series and as a reward for beating the game's very tough final boss.
As I’m writing this I’m realizing I never wrote anything about the E.M.M.I. sequences, so I'll put that here. They are pretty horrifying and stressful at first, but similar to the bosses they begin to get predictable and avoidable over time. It is very satisfying to become more and more skilled at evading them throughout the course of the game, Especially while each new E.M.M.I. ends up being better at hunting you than the last. I’d say that they do initially succeed at creating the desired feeling of dread the game tries to give you.
Overall metroid dread is incredible. Despite my disappointment with the narrative, the game presents itself so well it's hard for me to be stuck on that one issue. The fluid gameplay, amazing boss fights, excellent level design, and great sense of atmosphere is what really makes the game for me. Here's hoping we don't have to wait another 19 years for the next 2D Metroid game.
Metroid Dread has some unbelievably smooth controls. Samus nearly always does exactly what you want her to do. You almost never feel like you're losing any momentum while performing any given action. The returning melee attack from Samus Returns really helps with momentum as well. Rather than having to stop and shoot if an enemy is in your way, you can simply time your melee attack correctly to get a really satisfying camera effect and keep all your speed. All of this is aided by the game's incredible animation fluidly connecting everything together. Samus never clips into any other objects, and her model never jumps around from pose to pose. Everything she does while controlled by the player looks as if it could be found within a cutscene as well.
One of the things Metroid Dread does best is fooling the player into thinking they're a genius. Despite being a metroidvania, Metroid Dread doesn't really open up that much. There are many times where there is only one set route for the player to take and get to where they need to be, but the game does a very good job hiding this. The map is so naturally designed to point the player to where they need to be at any given moment that most players will likely just take the game's intended path first. They'll feel clever about it too, because from the player's perspective they just figured out how to navigate Metroid Dread's maze of a map on their first try. It is a personal skill of mine to be able to get lost in the simplest maps imaginable while playing literally any video game, so I feel like the fact that I was never confused on where to go for more than 5 minutes, not even once, really says something about how great this game's map is.
Now for one last subject on the topic of gameplay, THIS GAME HAS AMAZING BOSSES!!! I am generally someone that struggles while playing difficult video games, but Metroid Dreads bosses had me coming back for more every single time I was defeated. Despite most of them having huge flashy attacks that seem impossible to avoid, they slowly become more and more recognisable the more you fight each boss over and over. You’ll need to be able to remain composed in frantic and crazy situations and have full knowledge of each boss's moveset if you want to have any hope of taking them down. But once you finally do, it seems hard to believe that you ever could have struggled at all in the first place. You learn so much during each fight that you feel (in a similar way to mastering navigation) like a genius after every one, despite that being (also similar to navigation) the game's exact intention.
I touched on presentation briefly before, but I'll go into more detail here. This game looks absolutely amazing. As I previously mentioned, all of the game's animations are great, but there's more to it than that. To start, the game graphically looks really excellent. Despite the map you interact with being fairly blocky and video game-ish, It always blends perfectly into the beautiful backgrounds on each map. All of the backgrounds manage to be unique in their own way through incredible lighting, wonderfully realistic weather effects, meticulously crafted environments, and a general sense of life to everywhere you visit. I have never before played a 2D game that was able to make me feel so small in such massive areas. Also, because every location on every map is so detailed, the camera can pan all over the place and never has to be restricted to a purely 2D perspective. It's another major reason this game looks so good and feels so fun to play. When fighting bosses or discovering major locations the camera can go absolutely crazy and make you feel like you're watching an action movie.
One aspect I did not feel so positively about was the story. All of the game's cutscenes look great, it was very cool to see Samus interacting with real life chozos, and It's certainly cool that the game tries to be a conclusion to the original 2D metroid storyline. The problem is that it doesn't really conclude anything. I really wish Nintendo wasn't allergic to having a full proper story in their games the way other developers do. While it's true that story isn't absolutely necessary and fun is most important, stories in games can elevate them to much higher levels than they would otherwise be able to achieve, and I feel that there was a significant amount of missed potential here. It was very disappointing for the story to end simply with the planet exploding and then 5 seconds later… credits. Samus being a metroid is cool, but what does it mean for her? What are the consequences? Why do her powers suddenly disappear at the end of the game? Why does the X parasite become loyal to her? None of it is properly explained. It feels like it all happens for the sake of an easy ending. It's disappointing both as a conclusion to the series and as a reward for beating the game's very tough final boss.
As I’m writing this I’m realizing I never wrote anything about the E.M.M.I. sequences, so I'll put that here. They are pretty horrifying and stressful at first, but similar to the bosses they begin to get predictable and avoidable over time. It is very satisfying to become more and more skilled at evading them throughout the course of the game, Especially while each new E.M.M.I. ends up being better at hunting you than the last. I’d say that they do initially succeed at creating the desired feeling of dread the game tries to give you.
Overall metroid dread is incredible. Despite my disappointment with the narrative, the game presents itself so well it's hard for me to be stuck on that one issue. The fluid gameplay, amazing boss fights, excellent level design, and great sense of atmosphere is what really makes the game for me. Here's hoping we don't have to wait another 19 years for the next 2D Metroid game.
Dragster
1980
É ok. Bom gamefeel e dá para perder um bom tempo tentando conseguir tempos cada vez menores.
Space Invaders
1980
Surpreendentemente, não é um port meia boca. Muito pelo contrário, é uma ótima versão do game, viciante como só Space Invaders pode ser, e com algumas dificuldades extra que não estavam no Arcade. Pode não parecer tão bom, nem soar tão bom, mas a sensação é a mesma. Space Invaders, no conforto de casa. Em 1980, isso deveria ser insano e, por si só, valeria o investimento no Atari 2600.
Street Fighter II
1995
Surprisingly, this wasn't as bad as I was expecting! The sprites shake alot, it's weirdly easy and there are only 2 buttons, but damn bro I would be lying if I said I didn't have a bit of fun. A really impressive port for the Game Boy of all things.
Doom
1993
I've played through the first episode of Doom many times in the past, but have never truly gave it a chance until now, and yeah, it's just as good as everyone says it is.
Even 31 years later, Doom is still just as atmospheric, labyrinthine, and fun as it was in 1993. Hell, it's even a bit scary at times, especially in Episode 3.
It has stood the test of time brilliantly.
fuck limbo though, all my homies hate limbo
Even 31 years later, Doom is still just as atmospheric, labyrinthine, and fun as it was in 1993. Hell, it's even a bit scary at times, especially in Episode 3.
It has stood the test of time brilliantly.
fuck limbo though, all my homies hate limbo
The Legend of Zelda
1986
The one that started it all. The Backloggd-buddies @QuentTheSlayer @Phantasm and @Ptcremisi and I are partaking in a Zelda marathon organized by @NOWITSREYNTIME17.We are going through each mainline game in The Legend of Zelda franchise one by one and at the end of our playthrough we'll write a review on the game. I've always wanted to participate in a 'bookclub-esque' activity but with videogames and this is the perfect way to do it. If you are interested in reading in reading their reviews, here are the links to their pages:
Quent's review
NOWITSREYNTIME's review
Ptcremisi's review
I will be adding the other reviews once they become available.
Allow me to reminisce a bit first.
I first played a version of this game on my brother's PC sometime in the 90's probably. Much later I found out that I played the SatellaView version. I played a bit of this game as part of the Zelda Collection for GameCube. After that I bought the GBA version. I never got remotely far in any of my playthroughs but I did have a good time with trying to progress. But in all of my playthroughs, the cryptic nature of the game got the better of me. I almost never want to make use of guides for videogames because 'getting stuck' in a videogame is part of the fun for me.
The game starts and we're greeted by a pretty spiffy title screen. The logo is bright and colorful and beneath there's a waterfall going down, very cool. It's accompanied by the first rendition of the Legend of Zelda theme, of course the most iconic piece of music in the entire franchise. There's a title crawl that explains the story, really helpful. We're basically out to save the princess from the big bad.
Fun fact, Nintendo originally wanted to use Maurice Ravel's Bolero for the title screen but found out rather late in development that this music piece was not in the public domain yet. If they wanted to include it they had to wait an entire month to release the game and that wasn't happening so the composer basically pulled an all-nighter and churned out this gem of a theme song.
So we push start, pick a save file, name our character and we're off to the races. We're thrust into the land of Hyrule. We can go left, right or up but there's also a cave we can enter. Of course we enter the cave. We get the sword from the old man but we have to keep it a secret.
And now we go! The game begins! Go save the princess! Just do it! Where do we go? Figure it out!
So unless you know what you're doing or are playing this game with the help of a guide, you're lost. You have a big open world to explore, in the top left corner there's a map that basically tells you nothing except where you precisely are in the world. There are 8 dungeons, called levels in this game, all of them have a number so there's a way to tackle them chronologically. There are plentiful secrets in this game, a select few Heart Containers to find to expand your health, Warp Points, rupee stashes etc. But alas unless you have a guide you'll probably won't be able to find these goodies. Most of these collectables are hidden in walls that you have to bomb or underneath bushes (or are they trees?) that you have to burn but there are little to no contextual clues in the game as to which bushes or walls you have to burn or bomb respectively.
That is not to say that the developers didn't at least try. Sometimes rocks or statues with staircases beneath them that are conspicuously placed in a way that beg you to explore a bit.
Sure there are lot of instances of "how the hell was I supposed to figure that out by myself". But it's important to not get lost in these feelings of frustration. The first Legend of Zelda has a lot more to offer the player than simply granting them a glimpse of a bygone era in gaming or being viewed as a crusty old time capsule of a popular franchise. For a game that is so old, difficult and to be frank, obtuse, it still offers a sense of childlike wonder and curiosity. It's also the introduction of classic Zelda's addictive gameplay, something we'll discuss further in a bit.
It's important to mention that the developers were onto something here with this level of exploration but it would take a couple of years and a brand new console before these ideas would come into fruition in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past for the Super Nintendo.
So by now I think I've made it clear that you need a guide in order to progress and finish this game. It's a "guide game" but not necessarily in the derogatory sense. Back when this game came out, they had old-fashioned guides and manuals to help players with this game. It's basically a part of the experience so there's no shame in using a guide. The videogame 'Tunic' tries to drive this point home by being a game that's clearly being inspired by The Legend of Zelda and you have to collect pieces of a manual in order to make sense of the game's rather cryptic nature.
If we're talking about gameplay, it's the first time we're introduced to the Zelda-formula. Explore the land, tackle dungeons, collect items which you can use for combat and/or explore. The whole world is basically at your feet but the more upgrades you collect, the more the world opens up to you. It's a really fun gameplay-loop and it remains incredibly satisfying to progress despite the fact that the game is showing its age.
Of course we have enemies to fight. The main attack you have is a forward stab, enemies are sometimes quick, nimble and unpredictable so be careful when and how you attack. There's quite a bit of delay between attacks so every sword stab matters more than you think. You can acquire a lot of upgrades like extra Hearts so you can take more hits, better armor, deadlier swords and health potions. Even though these are optional, you're going to need these, trust me.
You really need to prepare for the journey or else, get ready to get your shit kicked in. By the time you've reached Level 6 the game doesn't fuck around anymore. Enemies begin to swarm you in large numbers and hit like trucks. The game starts nice and easy before becoming absolutely relentless in its difficulty. Maybe I'm not a True Gamer™ but these difficulty spikes really threw me for a loop for some reason. It's to be expected of course, it's a game from 1987 and videogames were extremely difficult back then, be it for the sake of padding the game for home consoles or for gobbling up your quarters in the arcade. Anyways, read the guide and get these upgrades as soon as they become available.
As for the music, what's there to say, it's all so iconic. We got the title theme, the overworld theme, the treasure jingle, sound effects and compositions that are still being used to this day in Zelda games. Yeah it's archaic, sure, but it still manages to set itself apart from other NES soundtracks and you really get the feeling that you're setting off on a grand ol' adventure.
Would I recommend this game to any? Not necessarily, unless you have an interest in the Zelda-franchise and want to discover its history. Maybe you have an interest in game design and you want to know how things worked back in the day. Maybe you like the idea of working through a game with a guide or maybe by other means, like playing this game with friends and working through it thanks to each other's help.
For me personally, I always wanted to finish the first game of a franchise that I absolutely adore. And this marathon gave me plenty of reason to finally do it. And I'm glad I did but I'm also content that it's finally over. Now unto another game I tried multiple times but never finished: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link!
(I'm going to be so fucking relieved when we get to Link to the Past.)
Quent's review
NOWITSREYNTIME's review
Ptcremisi's review
I will be adding the other reviews once they become available.
Allow me to reminisce a bit first.
I first played a version of this game on my brother's PC sometime in the 90's probably. Much later I found out that I played the SatellaView version. I played a bit of this game as part of the Zelda Collection for GameCube. After that I bought the GBA version. I never got remotely far in any of my playthroughs but I did have a good time with trying to progress. But in all of my playthroughs, the cryptic nature of the game got the better of me. I almost never want to make use of guides for videogames because 'getting stuck' in a videogame is part of the fun for me.
The game starts and we're greeted by a pretty spiffy title screen. The logo is bright and colorful and beneath there's a waterfall going down, very cool. It's accompanied by the first rendition of the Legend of Zelda theme, of course the most iconic piece of music in the entire franchise. There's a title crawl that explains the story, really helpful. We're basically out to save the princess from the big bad.
Fun fact, Nintendo originally wanted to use Maurice Ravel's Bolero for the title screen but found out rather late in development that this music piece was not in the public domain yet. If they wanted to include it they had to wait an entire month to release the game and that wasn't happening so the composer basically pulled an all-nighter and churned out this gem of a theme song.
So we push start, pick a save file, name our character and we're off to the races. We're thrust into the land of Hyrule. We can go left, right or up but there's also a cave we can enter. Of course we enter the cave. We get the sword from the old man but we have to keep it a secret.
And now we go! The game begins! Go save the princess! Just do it! Where do we go? Figure it out!
So unless you know what you're doing or are playing this game with the help of a guide, you're lost. You have a big open world to explore, in the top left corner there's a map that basically tells you nothing except where you precisely are in the world. There are 8 dungeons, called levels in this game, all of them have a number so there's a way to tackle them chronologically. There are plentiful secrets in this game, a select few Heart Containers to find to expand your health, Warp Points, rupee stashes etc. But alas unless you have a guide you'll probably won't be able to find these goodies. Most of these collectables are hidden in walls that you have to bomb or underneath bushes (or are they trees?) that you have to burn but there are little to no contextual clues in the game as to which bushes or walls you have to burn or bomb respectively.
That is not to say that the developers didn't at least try. Sometimes rocks or statues with staircases beneath them that are conspicuously placed in a way that beg you to explore a bit.
Sure there are lot of instances of "how the hell was I supposed to figure that out by myself". But it's important to not get lost in these feelings of frustration. The first Legend of Zelda has a lot more to offer the player than simply granting them a glimpse of a bygone era in gaming or being viewed as a crusty old time capsule of a popular franchise. For a game that is so old, difficult and to be frank, obtuse, it still offers a sense of childlike wonder and curiosity. It's also the introduction of classic Zelda's addictive gameplay, something we'll discuss further in a bit.
It's important to mention that the developers were onto something here with this level of exploration but it would take a couple of years and a brand new console before these ideas would come into fruition in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past for the Super Nintendo.
So by now I think I've made it clear that you need a guide in order to progress and finish this game. It's a "guide game" but not necessarily in the derogatory sense. Back when this game came out, they had old-fashioned guides and manuals to help players with this game. It's basically a part of the experience so there's no shame in using a guide. The videogame 'Tunic' tries to drive this point home by being a game that's clearly being inspired by The Legend of Zelda and you have to collect pieces of a manual in order to make sense of the game's rather cryptic nature.
If we're talking about gameplay, it's the first time we're introduced to the Zelda-formula. Explore the land, tackle dungeons, collect items which you can use for combat and/or explore. The whole world is basically at your feet but the more upgrades you collect, the more the world opens up to you. It's a really fun gameplay-loop and it remains incredibly satisfying to progress despite the fact that the game is showing its age.
Of course we have enemies to fight. The main attack you have is a forward stab, enemies are sometimes quick, nimble and unpredictable so be careful when and how you attack. There's quite a bit of delay between attacks so every sword stab matters more than you think. You can acquire a lot of upgrades like extra Hearts so you can take more hits, better armor, deadlier swords and health potions. Even though these are optional, you're going to need these, trust me.
You really need to prepare for the journey or else, get ready to get your shit kicked in. By the time you've reached Level 6 the game doesn't fuck around anymore. Enemies begin to swarm you in large numbers and hit like trucks. The game starts nice and easy before becoming absolutely relentless in its difficulty. Maybe I'm not a True Gamer™ but these difficulty spikes really threw me for a loop for some reason. It's to be expected of course, it's a game from 1987 and videogames were extremely difficult back then, be it for the sake of padding the game for home consoles or for gobbling up your quarters in the arcade. Anyways, read the guide and get these upgrades as soon as they become available.
As for the music, what's there to say, it's all so iconic. We got the title theme, the overworld theme, the treasure jingle, sound effects and compositions that are still being used to this day in Zelda games. Yeah it's archaic, sure, but it still manages to set itself apart from other NES soundtracks and you really get the feeling that you're setting off on a grand ol' adventure.
Would I recommend this game to any? Not necessarily, unless you have an interest in the Zelda-franchise and want to discover its history. Maybe you have an interest in game design and you want to know how things worked back in the day. Maybe you like the idea of working through a game with a guide or maybe by other means, like playing this game with friends and working through it thanks to each other's help.
For me personally, I always wanted to finish the first game of a franchise that I absolutely adore. And this marathon gave me plenty of reason to finally do it. And I'm glad I did but I'm also content that it's finally over. Now unto another game I tried multiple times but never finished: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link!
(I'm going to be so fucking relieved when we get to Link to the Past.)
I'm not going to mince words here, this is by far one of the worst, most frustrating games I've ever played. There are plenty of NES games that have stood the test of time and remain playable and fun till this day, still regarded as classics of the medium.
This game isn't one of them.
This is cock and ball torture.
The biggest problem this game has is it's enemy design. Enemies hit hard, fast and randomly, seldomly giving you a chance to get a clean strike on them. You'll almost never escape an encounter unscathed.
I had a brief moment in the game were I was enjoying myself, having just finished the first Palace and gaining my first item, the candle. Now I could finally explore dark caves! Then I got to Death Mountain, probably the hardest section in the game and the frustration began anew. Even though you'll progress and "grow stronger", you never feel like you're well- equiped for the journey ahead.
Glad this one's over with.
This game isn't one of them.
This is cock and ball torture.
The biggest problem this game has is it's enemy design. Enemies hit hard, fast and randomly, seldomly giving you a chance to get a clean strike on them. You'll almost never escape an encounter unscathed.
I had a brief moment in the game were I was enjoying myself, having just finished the first Palace and gaining my first item, the candle. Now I could finally explore dark caves! Then I got to Death Mountain, probably the hardest section in the game and the frustration began anew. Even though you'll progress and "grow stronger", you never feel like you're well- equiped for the journey ahead.
Glad this one's over with.