What a POLARIZING experience this was. Really high highs, very low lows. Overall I think I enjoyed my time with the game more than I disliked it, but this is absolutely a one and done experience. I don't think I ever want to play it again fghgfghj

The first thing that jumped out to me was the story—it's better than any of the more recent Zelda titles that have released in the last ten years (I'm looking at you TotK). The characters are so fun and expressive, and it even gave us the best version of Link and Zelda's situationship. They are SO cute in this game, that even as a raging lesbian I can appreciate them. It also gave us Byrne—he kicks ass.

I hear a lot of people complain about them but I never had much issue with the touch controls. They were responsive and the enemies are just slow enough to get around the bit of discrepancy you'd have as opposed to having button controls. I think we need more games with silly controls, that's kind of a lost art, and it brings charm to a game.

The pan flute was fun at first, it was just a silly little instrument that you blow into the microphone to use, but then I got to the fire sanctuary. That. That right there. That's the reason I will never play this game again. The fire and sand sanctuary songs are SO finicky, it took me HOURS to complete both. Everywhere else it's fine! The first three sanctuaries? Not a problem. Using it in the overworld? Not a problem. Just. Those last two sanctuaries make my blood BOIL.

Train's fine. I didn't really see much issue with it aside from the stupid one-hit kill demon trains. (Especially that last area, jesus christ why are they FASTER than you?) But oh my god it is impossible to upgrade your train in this game? I got three parts. THREE. I DIDN'T EVEN COMPLETE A WHOLE SET. You don't even unlock the ability to customize your train until you unlock the water realm so I just didn't think you could do it! Also you don't unlock fast travel until way too late. Like it's appreciated but they're so out of the way and come in so late that I basically never got to use it.

That's another thing, this game is so backloaded with sidequests, that I did like three before making it to endgame. Once I realized that you were basically forced to marathon all the sidequests in one go if you wanted to 100% it, I lost interest. It's all bunnies and ferrying people around anyway so who cares, I'd probably just get another pearl necklace for my troubles.

I do like that you can wear the conductor's outfit tho.

Anyway this game is definitely fun and worthwhile if you're a Zelda fan—especially since it comes packaged in with Zelda's most important role in the whole series. Seriously Nintendo, why can't we play as her yet? Why is she always being sidelined as a damsel in distress? Her name is in the fucking title for god's sake.