Imagine making a satellite designed to drop giant death spikes in urban areas with the force of a nuclear bomb in order to bypass the Geneva Convention's policies on Nuclear Weapons, and then still trying to play the victim when when your inevitable hubris does you in.

I've played this game for over 400 hours, and while I still don't know much about the story, I do know one thing.

Malenia, certainly is the Blade of Miquella.

The greatest Anti-HIV PSA ever created.

It's Minecraft.

You know I'm starting to think those Nazi fellas aren't exactly the best people. Don't know though, maybe I'll form a more concise opinion after I play the next 10 World War 2 shooters.

I just wanted to get some ramen and that cunt in the snakeskin jacket ambushed me from beneath the fucking ground. This is the 30th time today that this has happened.

It's like they always say, sometimes life is a Romania and you are an unstolen wallet.

I don''t need sex, because Dark Souls fucks me in the ass everyday.

Definitively one of the Call of Duty games of all time.

Jimmy Zelinski: Hey you know what this perfectly cromulent and functionally designed map needs? A bunch of bullshit that makes it unbearable to play!
See also: Napalm Zombies in Shangri-La, Space Monkeys on Ascension, Pentagon Thief in Five.

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If you're like me, you have most certainly died more than twice.

Local New Yorker sprays sticky white stuff all over buildings, attempts to climb on walls.
In other news, Spider-Man saves the city again.

The only reason you bought Black Ops 3.

AHAHAHA! NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO THE KENNEDY'S!