After marathoning every single No More Heroes game over the course of two weeks it's finally time to finish with No More Heroes III. Some people love this game and call it one of Sudas best while just as many deride it and call it an absolute sham of an experience. I'm somewhere in the middle with it however, as while it certainly does shit the bed in a lot of places, its also a pretty decent action game oozing with style.

After how rough an experience Travis Strikes Again was I had no hope for III gameplay wise but I am pleasantly surprised to say that it might have the best gameplay of the entire series. While I do miss beam customization and the grind for abilities is the worst its ever been (seriously why get rid of training), the overall feel of it and revamped mechanics makes it so fun. The slot machine being much more useful and changing up how wrestling moves work creates the fastest paced combat in the series, and the returning skills/death chips make Travis feel very versatile in combat. Another great change is the designated fights that replace levels this time around. In addition to the ATM feature of 1 returning you are also forced to do some minor skirmishes in order to fight a boss. While the locales are a bit generic I generally like this in comparison to levels because of how short and sweet they all feel, never taking too long and being pretty easy to get too in the small hubs this game has. Also this game goes balls to the walls in so many ways and I fucking love it for that, easily being the most stylish Suda 51 game with tons of fun moments throughout (FU is also a phenomenal villain that manages to be consistently entertaining). Little things like the fake intros and VN sections returning from TSA just adds to the overall experience and makes going through the journey worth it.

All that being said No More Heroes IIIs biggest sin is....the fucking visuals. Powered by Unreal Engine 4 (an engine that actually LOOKS GOOD ON SWITCH) the game manages to consistently look like a budget Wii game with character models in particular looking like acid attack victims. Its a real shame because a lot of the alien designs do look great and in the animated cutscenes they really shine but in game its rough. The overworlds also suffer this being pretty empty areas with only sparse things to do (like side jobs or the aforementioned matches). I don't hate this feature as much as others do because the hubs are super tiny but it also could've been axed and nothing would be lost. Speaking of nothing, NMH3s overall narrative is another weak point that feels like a complete clusterfuck, with many things either feeling intentionally screwed over or things just being blatantly unfinished. The assassins are hit with this the most, as a good chunk of them YOU DON'T EVEN FIGHT, being replaced with either nothing burgers (the musical chairs beast) or some odd nostalgia dumps (Kimmy Love and Henry Cooldown). After TSAs pretty solid story this feels like a massive kick in the balls that permiates throughout the 17 hour runtime, with the only saving graces being the aforementioned FU and the pretty solid characterization of Travis, who gets some great moments (like the rap with Kimmy or the entire ending). Finally the soundtrack might be the weakest in the series, with the only tracks I liked being the ramen store theme and Kimmy Loves theme.

NMH3 is a true mixed bag of a title that feels less like the satisfying continuation of a series and more of a shitpost. It does make me curious as to where Grasshopper will go with the series probably never getting a sequel due to Marvelous owning the majority of the IP. Not the worst of the series but certainly not its best outing.

6/10

NOTE:EMULATED ON DOLPHIN. THE PC PORT IS A FUCKING DISASTER DO NOT RECOMMEND.

No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle is a strange sequel. In some ways I prefer this one due to the much stronger pacing and general improvements to the gameplay. But at the same time I'd rather go back to the first game because its story wasn't so fucking boring.

Starting off strong I'd say that NMH2 gameplay wise is a remarkable improvement across the board. No shitty overworld and a lack of money required for assassinations makes the overall pace feel so much faster and I'm all for that. Combat has seen some changes too with an overall more simplified (but still just as fun) control scheme, alongside some new mechanics like Katana switching mid combat and the tension gauge. While in the original you never had much reason to change back to a previous upgrade the weapons in 2 are distinctly different from one another and benefit in different situations. Peony for example is your general crowd control tool with its extended range while the Rose Nasty is the fastest in the game allowing for better DPS. The tension gauge on the other hand acts as this games super mode, allowing Travis to go haywire on enemies which helps with a lot of the bigger fights (and some bosses if you're good at not getting hit). Another change I absolutely adored was what they did with the side jobs, as instead of drab mini-games they are instead all video game inspired and much more fun this time around. This videogame inspiration also carries over to the training which has also seen some changes. While it is a bit sad to see the combo extenders gone and the attack training can be a nightmare in the end, I still rather liked them and would say they're slightly better this time around. Also holy FUCK is the soundtrack in this one an absolute blast, with tracks like Dose Of Innocence and Philistine being absolute bangers.

It isn't all good sadly which takes us to the biggest issue with NMH2: the tone and story. While the original had some moments of humor and zaniness it was still a mostly bleak experience with a loser protagonist that challenged the player to think about all that has happened. In 2 a lot of this is thrown out the fucking window for a more light hearted and wacky experience. From fighting a giant robot controlled by a Jock and his groupies to a dream sequence with a literal anime girl, 2 is much more blatant this time around and loses a lot of charm for it. Another awful change is to Travis Touchdown, as this time around the game decides to make him the "Hero" of Santa Destroy and to be idolized by some of the assassins. To me this kinda goes against the entire point of the original and makes for an all around less memorable experience, which is not helped when the game blatantly copies things from NMH1 (the Alice fight narrative wise is just Holly Summers again). On the subject of bosses I didn't have nearly as much problems as I did previously but they're still not that good save for Kimmy,Ryuji, and Alice. Most of my issues is just how nothing a lot of them are, with most being pretty damn easy due to just how much damage you can do in the mid to late game. Not helping this is when the game decides to switch up from Travis to let you play as Shinobu WHO FUCKING SUCKS. Going from dope ass wrestling moves to a completely worthless jump kit and back to back AWFUL bosses make this section a chore to get through (atleast the Henry exclusive fight is good). People tend to rag on the final boss as well and while I do think his second phase is a fucking nightmare (mainly the walls) I didn't think it was the WORST OF ALL TIME. A much more minor flaw is the general lack of side content, with only the aforementioned side jobs and some cookie cutter revenge missions being all you get.

At the end of the day I can't really choose if I'd take NMH or Desperate Struggle. On some days I'd happily return to mowing the grass if that meant experiencing 1s more unique moments. But on some other days I just wanna watch heads roll and not care about things like grinding out money or exploring a bad open world. About on par I'd say.

7/10

NOTE:EMULATED ON DOLPHIN. THE PC PORT IS A FUCKING DISASTER DO NOT RECOMMEND.

While it is messy in a lot of places, No More Heroes 1 is an entertaining enough time thanks to its unique style and entertaining premise.

For a game that released on the Wii I was shocked as to just how well the game held up graphically. This is mainly because of how unique it looks for the console, featuring a lot of impressive shadow work and characters that really pop (though the open world can look a bit dull). Speaking of characters that's another spot where the game absolutely shines, with Travis Touchdown being a fun protagonist (who's also an absolute fucking dork) and each of the assassins being entertaining encounters (my favorite being Dr Peace). The engaging combat definitely helps in this regard, never getting repetitive due to just how satisfying it becomes, with the combination of the Katana stances and wrestling moves creating an experience that I can say is truly unique (also getting those multi kills is satisfying as all hell). Last thing to mention is the absolute banger of an OST, with special mention going to the phenomenal main theme N.M.H.

As fun as general combat can be, it's ironic to say that NMH1s biggest issue IS the bosses themselves. While they're all oozing charm and remain a highlight, actually fighting them is a mess. A combination of way too much health and some truly abysmal gimmicks (I fucking despise Holly Summers) makes getting to these bosses more a letdown than an actual reward. Out of the 10 bosses I only really enjoyed Shinobu (a satisfying duel with an amazing setting) and the true final boss Henry (an even better duel which really tests your knowledge of the game). Not helping manners is just how fucking GRINDY the game is, with a majority of the game being spent grinding money to even access these fights. In a shocking twist the actual shitty jobs weren't an issue, as most of them are really easy and don't waste much time (besides Bomb Collecting and Scorpion hunting). The bigger issue is the assassination jobs having dogshit payouts until super late in the game alongside an open world that feels absolutely terrible to navigate (get sprint ASAP). Combine that with all the upgrades and you will be forced to grind for a solid chunk of the 12 hour runtime (I would estimate about half my time was spent grinding). Last thing to note is the actual story, or moreso a lack thereof. Travis for sure grows as a character and his relationship with Sylvia does get pretty interesting near the end but besides that you are left with crumbs for a good majority. Not until the literal LAST TWO BOSSES does the game decide to dump a truckload of backstory that I honestly did not care for because of how late it occurred.

Despite those myriad of issues the first No More Heroes is still a decent time all around. Suda 51 isn't a creator I absolutely adore but I do understand why so many flock to him because of this game (and also Killer 7). A solid start to a cult franchise.

7/10