PitSolitayrh
1995
That level with dead ends is quite the unexpected surprise! Keep it expected next time 🗣️ 🗣️ that fish mad chill tho I didn't know he was chill like that damn 🚬 and there's Coo who... honestly he cheesed the game for me, him and the cutter ability? Damn we are witnessing a genocide my friends. Then, we have Rick... yeah big hamster, pet hamsters can die if you fart too loud so this one was doomed from the beginning. Still that makes 28 unique moves for Kirby, we are truly gaming. I still know how to count, too. Is it really the "power" of friendship if you're limiting your movements ? No, no... think of waiting with your friends at the bus stop to keep them company. I am flabbergasted by this star shit though wtf is this shit? They're still here until Kirby 64? It feels like Mandela effect that I never knew about Kirby thinking he's Mario without shame.
This is more fitting as baby's first platformer compared to Dream Land and Adventure, you're not an useless pack of meat when you float for starters! And yeah it's a spring breeze. Get your acquaintances hooked on Kirby with this one simple trick (they won't)! Playing the DL2 DX pack, this is as beautiful as it gets! But do not forget my brother in christ, the fog is coming. When you get the ending and the game would rather credit its critters before its developers, thats the typa shit that tells you something malicious is brewing. That Dark Matter fella is sweet stuff compared to DL3 and 64, still you'll have to "avada kedavra!!" his ass like your star rod is a semi-auto.
With all this commotion, did you notice this game lacked the invincibility candy? I want to complain even if I didnt notice it. Grrrrrrr!! Well I tried. Why complain about things that actually need complaining? Give that man a [TRUE...]! Will the homies hop on Dream Land 2 if they knew it was peak and had soul? This makes excellent bait for the average Backloggdian. Unfortunately, the level design seems to have suffered from having to compete with Dream Land. It's in the dictionary next to the definition of "short term memory loss". But it doesn't mean they're not fun! (except the aforementioned dead ends segment) because, see, it's got a good rating here. My stamp of approval should tell you enough, too bad I'm mentally unwell and cannot be trusted as such.
This is more fitting as baby's first platformer compared to Dream Land and Adventure, you're not an useless pack of meat when you float for starters! And yeah it's a spring breeze. Get your acquaintances hooked on Kirby with this one simple trick (they won't)! Playing the DL2 DX pack, this is as beautiful as it gets! But do not forget my brother in christ, the fog is coming. When you get the ending and the game would rather credit its critters before its developers, thats the typa shit that tells you something malicious is brewing. That Dark Matter fella is sweet stuff compared to DL3 and 64, still you'll have to "avada kedavra!!" his ass like your star rod is a semi-auto.
With all this commotion, did you notice this game lacked the invincibility candy? I want to complain even if I didnt notice it. Grrrrrrr!! Well I tried. Why complain about things that actually need complaining? Give that man a [TRUE...]! Will the homies hop on Dream Land 2 if they knew it was peak and had soul? This makes excellent bait for the average Backloggdian. Unfortunately, the level design seems to have suffered from having to compete with Dream Land. It's in the dictionary next to the definition of "short term memory loss". But it doesn't mean they're not fun! (except the aforementioned dead ends segment) because, see, it's got a good rating here. My stamp of approval should tell you enough, too bad I'm mentally unwell and cannot be trusted as such.
2010
Chat is this real?? With this second entry, do we have a great time in our hands? It took so long! (0 further console generations) we get new insights into a world of politics, with charismatic new faces and dialogue that still hits as hard, and gamers are invited to go outside touch seagrass for the first time 🥶😱😱 go yonder as you play a force of nature. Playing a game as an enemy type has its perks ngl there is so much soul in that. You're no Big but you're still Daddy, with your very own Little-Not-Sister-Not-Little to scrounge up. Which leaves me puzzled as to why there's still the option to harvest little sisters, the way I'm treatin Delta like "he don't bite tho" i aint no pitbull sugar mama I sweaaaaar
Eke out a living with the sweetness of violence, for the first step to salvation is through the game's big arsenal. Thanking whoever made weapons and plasmids a dual-wielding bundle, next time I play a Pokémon Nuzlocke i'll name one of the critters after you. Huh speaking of critters, I guess I need to talk about new enemy types, Big Sisters and Big Uncles. Ok, not uncle but the big splicers. Who aren't splicing. They're lame who cares atleast we got sisters now and new daddies to toy with (pause). Any family tree is fraught with drama, gang.
Weapons? Well there's a hacking tool, hacking has been improved, it seems easy until you realise that actions have consequences ; game doesn't pause and your life is in very real danger. What else improved? Well, photos methinks, they're videos now. Outside of the lore implications of this technological marvel, it's also less punishing. Delta is loaded to the brim, most of the weapons are the same as good ol' BioShock but reskinned to fit la creatura, it's harder to run out of ressources to my mixed reception, I'm alluding to running out of special ammo effective against armored enemies or french enemies or other types like that, this doesn't seem to happen ever.
Eke out a living with the sweetness of violence, for the first step to salvation is through the game's big arsenal. Thanking whoever made weapons and plasmids a dual-wielding bundle, next time I play a Pokémon Nuzlocke i'll name one of the critters after you. Huh speaking of critters, I guess I need to talk about new enemy types, Big Sisters and Big Uncles. Ok, not uncle but the big splicers. Who aren't splicing. They're lame who cares atleast we got sisters now and new daddies to toy with (pause). Any family tree is fraught with drama, gang.
Weapons? Well there's a hacking tool, hacking has been improved, it seems easy until you realise that actions have consequences ; game doesn't pause and your life is in very real danger. What else improved? Well, photos methinks, they're videos now. Outside of the lore implications of this technological marvel, it's also less punishing. Delta is loaded to the brim, most of the weapons are the same as good ol' BioShock but reskinned to fit la creatura, it's harder to run out of ressources to my mixed reception, I'm alluding to running out of special ammo effective against armored enemies or french enemies or other types like that, this doesn't seem to happen ever.
1994
When you really, really think about it, this is better than the sum of its part! I mean, it's some goofy nae nae golf game, but with the Kirby sauce! what ok so this game is kinda lit my brothers in christ, Kirby never misses an opportunity to suck EXCEPT he did, yup very sadge and all for the sake of violence, bumping into his foes like accidentally bumping into Senpai and sliding a date invite into the apology UwU enough of that just wanna say it's great how well the abilities fit into the mix. Despite Sakurai not working on this one, the abilities are still unbalanced! That U.F.O. Kirby said fuck off i'm headin out to do a side quest 💀 I didn't realize I could drive him the first time. We got Air Ride at home gentlemen.
The last level is the easiest and you're just given a buffet of abilities, while you skillfully mash that button of mass destruction. We gettin a hole in one with this one and with this hole 🗣️🗣️ HAL said "Special Tee Shot who???" but I gotta say, we all wanted Kirby to become ฿̶̘̪̖͇̼̫͇̣̰̏̈̏̔̀̎̇̓̾̚͜͝₳̶̢̧̘̝̟̻̔̍͘͠Ⱡ̷̮̼̅̇̓́̐̅̓Ⱡ̵͈͓̼͕̘̦͍̝͗͒̃̓͊͗̎̌͘͠ again, right? It can be a challenge in its own right to know where tf kinda direction Kirb is going in that 3D space. Where are we, some kind of Dream Course?? Well, the backgrounds do look pretty dreamy as always. Not too shabby, not too shabby... now draw Kirby naked in them! Oh, hold up.
Eight courses, eight levels in them, now that's a lot of holes 😳 notice how similar his story is to Sisyphus once you end up at the bottom of an hill? This game definitely has "ahah laugh at this user" moments like these, but it's definitely easy-going and casual. Whomstever worked on this shit your crunch work hours paid off!! I think it's funny when you use the "snail" technique and do snail pattern, that's the true "fuck it we ball" energy right there. Though once again, Dedede gets absolutely demolished in a spin-off. It took Avalanche for him to get serious'd!
A spin-off that, when you figure it out, runs like clockwork, but you don't have to figure it out! That's what all true warriors strive for. It even has multiplayer! I cannot criticize Dream's Course <--- just did
The last level is the easiest and you're just given a buffet of abilities, while you skillfully mash that button of mass destruction. We gettin a hole in one with this one and with this hole 🗣️🗣️ HAL said "Special Tee Shot who???" but I gotta say, we all wanted Kirby to become ฿̶̘̪̖͇̼̫͇̣̰̏̈̏̔̀̎̇̓̾̚͜͝₳̶̢̧̘̝̟̻̔̍͘͠Ⱡ̷̮̼̅̇̓́̐̅̓Ⱡ̵͈͓̼͕̘̦͍̝͗͒̃̓͊͗̎̌͘͠ again, right? It can be a challenge in its own right to know where tf kinda direction Kirb is going in that 3D space. Where are we, some kind of Dream Course?? Well, the backgrounds do look pretty dreamy as always. Not too shabby, not too shabby... now draw Kirby naked in them! Oh, hold up.
Eight courses, eight levels in them, now that's a lot of holes 😳 notice how similar his story is to Sisyphus once you end up at the bottom of an hill? This game definitely has "ahah laugh at this user" moments like these, but it's definitely easy-going and casual. Whomstever worked on this shit your crunch work hours paid off!! I think it's funny when you use the "snail" technique and do snail pattern, that's the true "fuck it we ball" energy right there. Though once again, Dedede gets absolutely demolished in a spin-off. It took Avalanche for him to get serious'd!
A spin-off that, when you figure it out, runs like clockwork, but you don't have to figure it out! That's what all true warriors strive for. It even has multiplayer! I cannot criticize Dream's Course <--- just did
2022
Another game that don't make no sense. Mans gotta have his own assets tho. This lacks a little something called everything, and that crank SFX felt personal, but props where it's due, um, you can choose your gender. That is pretty crazy 🤯 You can also warm up in a fire and come out looking like a wendigo. That is pretty fucked up 🤯 be like going into a swamp and coming out like Shrek. I'm exercising my Amendment right to change the subject, not American but I really need that right ong, so...
This looks and sounds... otherworldly. By which I mean, this should stay in another world. This clash between unstoppable force and immovable object is exactly what we're expecting to expect from the premise, only you are an object and quite movable if I do say so myself. The rich ate the poor and you're quite to their taste 💦 they got your house and turned it into a maze of a manor just for you, how delightful! A fitting residence for your humble God of Poverty.
The Sink Gods, hallway for the Sinking man, the game that dared to ask if it's better to cum in the sink or sink in the cum. Heh. Honestly, the second one- wait nonono, I meaan the HUB yes the hub, you have an hub, you do some padding shit for 10 seconds and go to the next level to meet a divinity. Or not! Psyche! Ahah btw there's an epilogue episode with a voiced preamble and mass murder, like as soon as a head comes off the game's over, no credits or nothing. Scary asf 😨
The last straw on the camel's back is that I need to actually talk about the gameplay. The Sinking man is actually the Thinking man, against all odds! Or better yet, a woman, or NB or genderfluid but whoever you are will be thinking and solving puzzles like you're 🤓 No higher beings in the Seven Kingdoms will give you any feedback, it is pretty chill to solve everything so no worries. But remember if you get a sword: You can't put it back! You're no sword swallower unless it's an euphemism! Put it in a goofy ahh hole or its two siblings!
That's the only part that had me confused, I thought the game bugged out to not much surprise since it's built like a house of cards, except I've only come across one bug in this dog gone Earth involving a text not going away. My mark of shame. If your name's Mark, I wasn't actually talking about you. Sorry pal. One man's trash is another man's trash 😔
This looks and sounds... otherworldly. By which I mean, this should stay in another world. This clash between unstoppable force and immovable object is exactly what we're expecting to expect from the premise, only you are an object and quite movable if I do say so myself. The rich ate the poor and you're quite to their taste 💦 they got your house and turned it into a maze of a manor just for you, how delightful! A fitting residence for your humble God of Poverty.
The Sink Gods, hallway for the Sinking man, the game that dared to ask if it's better to cum in the sink or sink in the cum. Heh. Honestly, the second one- wait nonono, I meaan the HUB yes the hub, you have an hub, you do some padding shit for 10 seconds and go to the next level to meet a divinity. Or not! Psyche! Ahah btw there's an epilogue episode with a voiced preamble and mass murder, like as soon as a head comes off the game's over, no credits or nothing. Scary asf 😨
The last straw on the camel's back is that I need to actually talk about the gameplay. The Sinking man is actually the Thinking man, against all odds! Or better yet, a woman, or NB or genderfluid but whoever you are will be thinking and solving puzzles like you're 🤓 No higher beings in the Seven Kingdoms will give you any feedback, it is pretty chill to solve everything so no worries. But remember if you get a sword: You can't put it back! You're no sword swallower unless it's an euphemism! Put it in a goofy ahh hole or its two siblings!
That's the only part that had me confused, I thought the game bugged out to not much surprise since it's built like a house of cards, except I've only come across one bug in this dog gone Earth involving a text not going away. My mark of shame. If your name's Mark, I wasn't actually talking about you. Sorry pal. One man's trash is another man's trash 😔
1995
They did it. They made it. Poyo Poyo. A bastard child, much like its brethren Doctor Robotik Lean Bean Machean, yes my dyslexic ass is smashing records tonight. But... That's it, it is Poyo Poyo and there is nothing more to its meat. I tought the Kirby series was allergic to low quality products, yet here we are. That's the part where Kirby smoked that hooka indubitably cuz you seein how much lip he's givin them?? That is not the poyo I raised. He's callin them cunts and everythin 😭 we finally got the American Kirby from all those US box arts. May God bless us all he is yappin kinda E for everyone.
So, pretty much everything I say about Super Puyo Puyo would apply to this (as of yet, have not said anything about Super Puyo Puyo). They're scared half to death of giving us cutesy stuff so they'd rather reskin it for overseas audience with Kirby... I'm probably not the only one having trouble with the logic. Putting so much ressources into a lost cause when the solution is RIGHT THERE. I do admit the... forest background... is better than some minerals? Hank would kill me for this. This cabrón called an avalanche on all of them or what, that sounds like an hardcore term for such a calming experience OH MY GOLLY I'M BEING BURIED ALIVE IN SLIME
The gang is all here. I don't always recognize their names through the Super Nintendo Entertainment System sound chip, and for us zoomers this is gonna sound a whole lot like the Wii Remote yapping in Smash Bros. Brawl. They should have replaced the colors while they were at it, where's the pink slime? Despite all its faults, this game still remains a cult abomination, a stain in Kirby's rapper career. What says a lot about me is that, much like not knowing I could crouch in RE4 to avoid attacks, I did not know I could see the next bundle of slime to fall. Rest in power brain 👑👑👊 wowie, I wish an actually unique Kirby game with Tetris-like elements happens to fall on my laps soon. Kid named Star Stacker:
So, pretty much everything I say about Super Puyo Puyo would apply to this (as of yet, have not said anything about Super Puyo Puyo). They're scared half to death of giving us cutesy stuff so they'd rather reskin it for overseas audience with Kirby... I'm probably not the only one having trouble with the logic. Putting so much ressources into a lost cause when the solution is RIGHT THERE. I do admit the... forest background... is better than some minerals? Hank would kill me for this. This cabrón called an avalanche on all of them or what, that sounds like an hardcore term for such a calming experience OH MY GOLLY I'M BEING BURIED ALIVE IN SLIME
The gang is all here. I don't always recognize their names through the Super Nintendo Entertainment System sound chip, and for us zoomers this is gonna sound a whole lot like the Wii Remote yapping in Smash Bros. Brawl. They should have replaced the colors while they were at it, where's the pink slime? Despite all its faults, this game still remains a cult abomination, a stain in Kirby's rapper career. What says a lot about me is that, much like not knowing I could crouch in RE4 to avoid attacks, I did not know I could see the next bundle of slime to fall. Rest in power brain 👑👑👊 wowie, I wish an actually unique Kirby game with Tetris-like elements happens to fall on my laps soon. Kid named Star Stacker:
2014
Errrm what the scallop! Did Mario make this? It's Made In Italy. The thing only has one purpose in this destitute world, and that is to watch you slide numbers and make big number. Is there merit in this? It's not that fun, even with secret ninjutsu tips you can get on the Internet. If I was on a plane and it crashed and fucking exploded, I would not think about this game at all during my final breaths. Maybe if there were 2048 passengers I probably would chuckle a bit, then again I'd probably be sleeping or some shit.
Now, the game has crazy mods that overhaul everything, it's like Skyrim! Anybody can do it even. Look up the plethora of clones that exist, some may shock you, some may whelm you, some may goad you further in the pursuit of knowledge regarding Obama's last name, but don't forget that the soup is cold and the salad is hot if it's a school lunch. Plus, isn't it better to replace the numbers by cooler things like cool cars because otherwise, you are very nerdy for playing 2048 i aint ngl imagine going "I reached a high score of 131072 🤓🤓" instead of "I reached nirvana on the highway to hell" have some self-respect you nincompoop. What would brock obama say if he saw all that "i suck dick and huuuuuh i eat pussy too" damn he's bisexual thats crazy alhamdulillah hope he enjoys the 2048 mating technique 👏
Are you telling me a high number happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Gabriele Cirulli! He slided in a chain of numbers that happens to be my IP address and he gets to be a lauded game designer? What a joke! I do respect the hustle though. There's a spin on the formula not available for logging on Backloggd called Nextagon and that one was cool huuuuuh I'm exhausting my options here, can I discuss the game without anymore ad hominems? How about the fact the game promotes incest values by only allowing us to pair twin numbers together! This wouldn't fly even in the joint. i delet myself. bye
Now, the game has crazy mods that overhaul everything, it's like Skyrim! Anybody can do it even. Look up the plethora of clones that exist, some may shock you, some may whelm you, some may goad you further in the pursuit of knowledge regarding Obama's last name, but don't forget that the soup is cold and the salad is hot if it's a school lunch. Plus, isn't it better to replace the numbers by cooler things like cool cars because otherwise, you are very nerdy for playing 2048 i aint ngl imagine going "I reached a high score of 131072 🤓🤓" instead of "I reached nirvana on the highway to hell" have some self-respect you nincompoop. What would brock obama say if he saw all that "i suck dick and huuuuuh i eat pussy too" damn he's bisexual thats crazy alhamdulillah hope he enjoys the 2048 mating technique 👏
Are you telling me a high number happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Gabriele Cirulli! He slided in a chain of numbers that happens to be my IP address and he gets to be a lauded game designer? What a joke! I do respect the hustle though. There's a spin on the formula not available for logging on Backloggd called Nextagon and that one was cool huuuuuh I'm exhausting my options here, can I discuss the game without anymore ad hominems? How about the fact the game promotes incest values by only allowing us to pair twin numbers together! This wouldn't fly even in the joint. i delet myself. bye
1986
I hope this flopped and they didn't make any other entries, that'd be worth a laugh! I havent had any playing this. This mf Simon with his perfectly chiseled chin and wealthiest caveman in the cave rizz can't whip worth a damn. Is he asexual? Why does he think he's him? Call it y = b^x the way shit went off the rails so fast, what a difficulty curve folks. You have to be there to see it. There's not really a specific enemy to make fun of so I won't focus on that aspect. Except Dracula on steroids but those were different times, the basement dweller community has foregiven Dracula.
Let's breakdown how the game plays. There are no input cancels obviously this ain't no Tekken, once you jump you are vulnerable for around 1 second and to approximately 33 threats, you can only walk and slightly crouch, not to mention (I'll mention) the whip having more screentime where it doesnt hit once you press the destroy foes button. So basically you're dead on arrival. Also, sometimes you get hit by a projectile thats been destroyed or a mf who already vaporized. Shit that should only happen in Mexico and I don't wager Simon is having his pilgrimage there.
I've warmed up, but huh no physical activity to follow because I need to say good things about this decent game. The night is dark and the path is.. not always clear, especially stage 17 with those gears but it all looks great. Dracula looks like his breath smells of garlic which makes me worry about his health being a vampire and all, but I won't judge him if he stepped out the hospital just to whoop my ass he's just that guy. Not gonna lie I had to use save states between every hit because I didn't trust myself enough and I was playing the game on break I wanted to finish it today at least (as in friday 22nd march, I'm actually reviewing it on the day I finish a game which I usually never do and condone! But we do this ig)
Let's breakdown how the game plays. There are no input cancels obviously this ain't no Tekken, once you jump you are vulnerable for around 1 second and to approximately 33 threats, you can only walk and slightly crouch, not to mention (I'll mention) the whip having more screentime where it doesnt hit once you press the destroy foes button. So basically you're dead on arrival. Also, sometimes you get hit by a projectile thats been destroyed or a mf who already vaporized. Shit that should only happen in Mexico and I don't wager Simon is having his pilgrimage there.
I've warmed up, but huh no physical activity to follow because I need to say good things about this decent game. The night is dark and the path is.. not always clear, especially stage 17 with those gears but it all looks great. Dracula looks like his breath smells of garlic which makes me worry about his health being a vampire and all, but I won't judge him if he stepped out the hospital just to whoop my ass he's just that guy. Not gonna lie I had to use save states between every hit because I didn't trust myself enough and I was playing the game on break I wanted to finish it today at least (as in friday 22nd march, I'm actually reviewing it on the day I finish a game which I usually never do and condone! But we do this ig)
Oh please, pleaaaase bonk me on the head. Okay, it's not as bad as it looks I swear. Big boobies sure, no nudity also for sure! I'm not scratching the bottom of the barrel yet, and you're wondering why this is in your feed. Ok so it's gonna be a doozy but here's roughly what happened: I wanted to play a sex game since it's one of the only types of games I haven't had the pleasure to play yet, I scroll through a bunch and decide it's not the time yet (they're scary). Lo and behold, skip a few hours and I'm looking for cracked copy of Journey for my bestie (i dont want to make her pay games just to play with me) and there it is, obviously. I recognize it, check through Steam yada yada, one of the top tags is "cute" and the price is at its highest sale that settles it I'll play through this.
Seems I cooked up a long excuse for why I have played this. Don't worry, I won't go to such lengths for the gay porn game I have in my radar. It's quite easy, dont last too long, but when it gets harder it's very fair! It's too basic to really get a higher score, although unphotoshopping a picture is quite unique from what I'd done so far. They're risque, but they probably would look like normal pictures if she had normal proportions. That'd be less bang for the buck (flat women we love u)! Now go get that bag gurl. We goin through the 4 seasons stay fresh all year long.
What baffling decision however, is that there's no romance? Rina and even your invisible self-insert with your name go far to make sure the other knows there's nothing more than a deep friendship here. It's not that I am against it, but that's not what I expected for the target demographic. It dont have the sex gentlemen, maybe we ought to play Bald Gate III. Anyways look at that white woman she made me pay to edit photos I will never forget that night.
Seems I cooked up a long excuse for why I have played this. Don't worry, I won't go to such lengths for the gay porn game I have in my radar. It's quite easy, dont last too long, but when it gets harder it's very fair! It's too basic to really get a higher score, although unphotoshopping a picture is quite unique from what I'd done so far. They're risque, but they probably would look like normal pictures if she had normal proportions. That'd be less bang for the buck (flat women we love u)! Now go get that bag gurl. We goin through the 4 seasons stay fresh all year long.
What baffling decision however, is that there's no romance? Rina and even your invisible self-insert with your name go far to make sure the other knows there's nothing more than a deep friendship here. It's not that I am against it, but that's not what I expected for the target demographic. It dont have the sex gentlemen, maybe we ought to play Bald Gate III. Anyways look at that white woman she made me pay to edit photos I will never forget that night.
2024
profound air sucking DOOOOOOOOOOG!! That's my dog, except it's not the same breed, and huuh it's not my dog BUT he gets away with chicaneries as easily. So, the massive dad takes his kids to Belize, I think that's the story I can't read japanese (trial & error to find the language settings goes hard) and mom is in an highly comative state. That's a recipe for disaster. Here come dat boi, literal mud sponge marking his territory in the filthiest of ways. Press Reload button to reload and press Fire button to fire that's the gameplay loop, which actually is great foreshadowing of the minigun hat- what?? Psalm 37:13 - But the lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming.
Little thing gets pampered with collectibles every 5 seconds, I know he's cute but that is a bit excessive. Dogs have that TikTok attention span tho and he can't get outside so he needs to be rewarded for doing tricks, which is more of a prank gone wrong in this case, which moreso went as planned, anyways there are a few environmental puzzles mostly for the sake of it, this game is very short it clocks in below an hour but in dog years its like 7 hours, I don't know why I said that when I was talking about the puzzles, they're pretty fun and obvious, that's about it.
Okay I don't know how high Pomeranians can jump, clearly this one is weighed down by all the mud so I cut him some slack, but he can barely go above a chair. I don't think I've seen a dog jump straight onto a table so that's probably for the best, my own dog cant even climb chairs but he does jump on beds. Closing parenthesis it's cool to see what the new employees could do as a quick project, it really feels like a game made by japanese devs, not so sure abt the Namco identity, unless the 300 pomerillions in damage property are a subtle reference to Blue Protocol. Bravo!
Little thing gets pampered with collectibles every 5 seconds, I know he's cute but that is a bit excessive. Dogs have that TikTok attention span tho and he can't get outside so he needs to be rewarded for doing tricks, which is more of a prank gone wrong in this case, which moreso went as planned, anyways there are a few environmental puzzles mostly for the sake of it, this game is very short it clocks in below an hour but in dog years its like 7 hours, I don't know why I said that when I was talking about the puzzles, they're pretty fun and obvious, that's about it.
Okay I don't know how high Pomeranians can jump, clearly this one is weighed down by all the mud so I cut him some slack, but he can barely go above a chair. I don't think I've seen a dog jump straight onto a table so that's probably for the best, my own dog cant even climb chairs but he does jump on beds. Closing parenthesis it's cool to see what the new employees could do as a quick project, it really feels like a game made by japanese devs, not so sure abt the Namco identity, unless the 300 pomerillions in damage property are a subtle reference to Blue Protocol. Bravo!
2017
Damn I be on heat- I mean, on fire in that mech, look at me roll up to the crib fully decked out, no survivors left. That's the most basic roguelike to ever roguelike with a morsel of artstyle, there may as well be a full bearded bear or the cuntiest hoe under that suit but that be left in the imagination. I approve of this mission consisting in invading ships and cleaning deck, although the main objective really be neutralizing the brain of the ship (literal brain), in and out as they say. Furthermore we can only sweep the enemies because the ships don't seem to have floors while ours do. It's not high maintenance to have a ground to walk on in space, is there?
And so wake me up inside, bcuz I sleep. It's not really the best game out there, it does its job but it's minimum wage. There are a few weapons of Mass Destruction and a few enemies of la muerte pero no tenemos mucho stuff to differentiate each run. There's Fog of War maps? And varying ways to not have the player go straight to the finish line, including a brain that teleports (insert skull emoji). We are not cutting corners, just dashing in hallways.
Btw idk about doin it solo, but playing with someone reveals just how cluttered the screen gets, at which point I don't even see what's happening, this is the real Fog of War. All that just to be cut loose by a basketballer sized toad. Can't I just book a voyage across this exceptionally empty galaxy? Would you grant me the honor of seeing a character worth a damn? Didn't think so.
And so wake me up inside, bcuz I sleep. It's not really the best game out there, it does its job but it's minimum wage. There are a few weapons of Mass Destruction and a few enemies of la muerte pero no tenemos mucho stuff to differentiate each run. There's Fog of War maps? And varying ways to not have the player go straight to the finish line, including a brain that teleports (insert skull emoji). We are not cutting corners, just dashing in hallways.
Btw idk about doin it solo, but playing with someone reveals just how cluttered the screen gets, at which point I don't even see what's happening, this is the real Fog of War. All that just to be cut loose by a basketballer sized toad. Can't I just book a voyage across this exceptionally empty galaxy? Would you grant me the honor of seeing a character worth a damn? Didn't think so.
1993
I have become a marketable ball plushie ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅHH yea he looks so soft and squishable so it was bound to happen, still it only took one spin-off the set the record straight. Kirby has done a lot of things after this, but for the first venture it is some pinball! You know it's pinball it's in the yucking name. Playing Kirby is like smoking in the non-smoking area so it's not your average pinball. Frame 1 and you're already firing Kirby in a cannon into one of the three levels there are. Now there's a left, center and right one so if this was Life Is Strange your choice would impact your political EXP bar I just made up, hmm yea the crux of the matter is that these levels have their own gimmicks to them and you get to fight Kracko, Poppy and Wispy (in-game typo, I know bro is so mad).
What happens is, you have to use your pinball skills to reach the highest floors where the boss is, honestly I'd just take the elevator but Kirby is not as weak-willed as me and I need to accept that. Kirby has no life (so me), which means bosses just restort to cucking the flippers until I relent, which I don't. Because if I did, I'd have to see this mf fall all the way down and I can't have that especially because the transition between screens is disorienting and I'd lose sight of who I am, where I am, why I am. If I do make it to the basement, scare unfolds like any good horror game: the springboard mechanic. It's like the bonus minigame in most Kirbys where you press A at the right time, but eventually Kirby's Pinball Land puts you in an unwinnable scenario. They still let you try tho but it's been an honor gents.
Among these bosses, the easiest might unironically be Dedede. No I haven't mentioned him but come on, he can't not be the final boss. He basically lets you hit whaaat 😳 I mean he has a phase where he locks into you like you have HP and he dont (its the opposite) which gives me flashbacks of me doing that as a kid in certain games tryna brute force everythang. After I've beaten him I can continue playing for a higher score, no I don't think I will. The bosses are familiar and so are their patterns, although you're gonna die at first when you don't know they're going for the damn flippers. Kracko and Poppy have chosen the path of cowardice and tag team on you with Kracko Jr. and... another Poppy Sr. The latter was the hardest to fold and dominate all over... It was kinda goofy to make Kirby warp between the two borders of the screen, he'll get airsick but it makes the fights easier I think just they take longer because you have the stop the pink bullet you're controlling.
I don't think I have grasped every gimmick to get warp stars, but I won the game and the winner writes history so I will choose to ignore them. Hitting a cloud to make it rain so a giant Kirby puts out an umbrella so it can propulse you to new heights, like at this point just ask Kirby Sr. there are no lore reasons for him telling you to suck it up and do it yourself. Furthermore... Kirby can't suck in this game! Is Kirby Sr. on sum crack? Why is there another Kirby in the first place. My noggin goin places rn.
What happens is, you have to use your pinball skills to reach the highest floors where the boss is, honestly I'd just take the elevator but Kirby is not as weak-willed as me and I need to accept that. Kirby has no life (so me), which means bosses just restort to cucking the flippers until I relent, which I don't. Because if I did, I'd have to see this mf fall all the way down and I can't have that especially because the transition between screens is disorienting and I'd lose sight of who I am, where I am, why I am. If I do make it to the basement, scare unfolds like any good horror game: the springboard mechanic. It's like the bonus minigame in most Kirbys where you press A at the right time, but eventually Kirby's Pinball Land puts you in an unwinnable scenario. They still let you try tho but it's been an honor gents.
Among these bosses, the easiest might unironically be Dedede. No I haven't mentioned him but come on, he can't not be the final boss. He basically lets you hit whaaat 😳 I mean he has a phase where he locks into you like you have HP and he dont (its the opposite) which gives me flashbacks of me doing that as a kid in certain games tryna brute force everythang. After I've beaten him I can continue playing for a higher score, no I don't think I will. The bosses are familiar and so are their patterns, although you're gonna die at first when you don't know they're going for the damn flippers. Kracko and Poppy have chosen the path of cowardice and tag team on you with Kracko Jr. and... another Poppy Sr. The latter was the hardest to fold and dominate all over... It was kinda goofy to make Kirby warp between the two borders of the screen, he'll get airsick but it makes the fights easier I think just they take longer because you have the stop the pink bullet you're controlling.
I don't think I have grasped every gimmick to get warp stars, but I won the game and the winner writes history so I will choose to ignore them. Hitting a cloud to make it rain so a giant Kirby puts out an umbrella so it can propulse you to new heights, like at this point just ask Kirby Sr. there are no lore reasons for him telling you to suck it up and do it yourself. Furthermore... Kirby can't suck in this game! Is Kirby Sr. on sum crack? Why is there another Kirby in the first place. My noggin goin places rn.
2016
Those ribbit ribbit makers are speaking my language (facts). Another game for couples to test out before commiting to living in the same house because this is gonna be hella informative. What do you think our simian ancestors think watching us digitally act as the tree climbers we used to be? These thoughts are racing in my head but they better drift off cuz the race is on for real; Frog Climbers, as the name implies, sees us picking one of a handful of frog skins (pause) and us poor players will have to tweak our entire cerebral activity to learn the good patterns in order not to fumble the climb.
I mean look at them goooo I mean isn't that such a silly game?? I dont know how long it took to make, there's not a bucketful of content and it boils down to using two buttons and directional sticks smartly in order to reach new heights. You get squished sometimes but it's fine you're in one piece (it's reaaaaaaaal) There's no tutorial section but one of the most impressive part of the game is how you both need to fumble your way through a few rocks until the countdown starts and the race truly begins. They engineerd the shit outta this. Even a man at its lowest may learn the ropes of this healthy competition with no animal abuse and turn his life around.
You quickly grasp how to climb the hell outta the most complex of the three maps, also you can respawn in a better position in some situations, encouraging suicidal thoughts is ill-advised not to mention how this affects the gameplay. It's not even used for catch-up, and is only detrimental if two Le Froge experts were to battle it out for the umpteeth time. These sticky hands are going somewhere thanks to you. I just don't think I'll remember it in a few weeks.
I mean look at them goooo I mean isn't that such a silly game?? I dont know how long it took to make, there's not a bucketful of content and it boils down to using two buttons and directional sticks smartly in order to reach new heights. You get squished sometimes but it's fine you're in one piece (it's reaaaaaaaal) There's no tutorial section but one of the most impressive part of the game is how you both need to fumble your way through a few rocks until the countdown starts and the race truly begins. They engineerd the shit outta this. Even a man at its lowest may learn the ropes of this healthy competition with no animal abuse and turn his life around.
You quickly grasp how to climb the hell outta the most complex of the three maps, also you can respawn in a better position in some situations, encouraging suicidal thoughts is ill-advised not to mention how this affects the gameplay. It's not even used for catch-up, and is only detrimental if two Le Froge experts were to battle it out for the umpteeth time. These sticky hands are going somewhere thanks to you. I just don't think I'll remember it in a few weeks.
Evil Pit be like:
I used to despise this game, and as I grew up, I'm proud to say it's as dogwash as I remember. To not much surprise, I used to think this did not look realistic at all, being a N64 title. I don't know why anyone would subject themselves to a 2.5D platformer in its genesis generation no questions asked, but that's why I be asking questions. This game is hard, but manages to not be the littlest bit complex, which is kinda unimpressive. I do not strive for this level of level design if I ever made a game.
The ugly hand-drawn backgrounds aged poorly. Not a shred of marvel in them I tell you, this gives ummm not whimsical. In a similar fashion, I don't like what I'm hearing! The music, sound effects and voice clips are things I do not still remember years laters. The game fucks, but the sex sucks!! Why are these characters sending me on fetch quests?? This is tedious and definitely not cute. Your children are indoctrinated with bad game design.
I'll admit, Owl gatekeeping your progress is a silver lining. Too bad we get to kick his derrière in a minigame. And naturally, we need to talk about the world map. If there was an oscar for "most boring world map design", this one would sweep the competition. Every level is as unstylish as the previous, every enemy as uncool. The atmosphere is matched and the gliding mechanic is a bad find. The lion community has not forgiven Tigger's Honey Hunt.
Good Pit be like:
hmmm hell yeah this was my junk food.
I used to despise this game, and as I grew up, I'm proud to say it's as dogwash as I remember. To not much surprise, I used to think this did not look realistic at all, being a N64 title. I don't know why anyone would subject themselves to a 2.5D platformer in its genesis generation no questions asked, but that's why I be asking questions. This game is hard, but manages to not be the littlest bit complex, which is kinda unimpressive. I do not strive for this level of level design if I ever made a game.
The ugly hand-drawn backgrounds aged poorly. Not a shred of marvel in them I tell you, this gives ummm not whimsical. In a similar fashion, I don't like what I'm hearing! The music, sound effects and voice clips are things I do not still remember years laters. The game fucks, but the sex sucks!! Why are these characters sending me on fetch quests?? This is tedious and definitely not cute. Your children are indoctrinated with bad game design.
I'll admit, Owl gatekeeping your progress is a silver lining. Too bad we get to kick his derrière in a minigame. And naturally, we need to talk about the world map. If there was an oscar for "most boring world map design", this one would sweep the competition. Every level is as unstylish as the previous, every enemy as uncool. The atmosphere is matched and the gliding mechanic is a bad find. The lion community has not forgiven Tigger's Honey Hunt.
Good Pit be like:
hmmm hell yeah this was my junk food.
She slowly walks up to me, emanating gatekeep girlboss gaslight energy from every step taken, deliberately. Once she makes sure I am within whispering vicinity, she utters those words
"Makoto get strapped or get clapped"
Ayo Kyoko I will never forget you manhandles an uncontrollable tear frenzy
I'm not the brightest bulb in the room, but neither are they. Do they deserve death for this reason? No!! Hence why this is a series of hopium and copium, and this is the train's first stop. Still kinda funny, these executions really have "mods kill this guy" energy to them. Everything is so over-the-top in its writing and presentation that it's very difficult to be whelmed. You gotta have an opinion on this game. Some people were FNAF kids and I guess I was a Dangan kid... a late bloomer though I was already 15, and since then the only game that came out was a beach episode cashgrab coming out in winter.
I won't sugarcoat it, this is W writing. It's absurd, it's complex, it hits you when it needs to. Kodaka's style is something special. He knows how to blueball his audience and you're still in his grasp. The protagonist Big Mac is a template compared to the others, the whole cast has grounded designs and less complex personalities but they bounce off eachother due to the story's nature, and it's a delight to see. A battle royale with emphasis on relationships and deductions is like, best template ever! So many quality fangames are being made for this reason. Very few are actually completed, people don't see the labor needed for the whole package, meanwhile Kodaka made a sequel in 2 years the mad lad.
Uh oh, someone died. You better not have been watching Shrek 2 in the projector room or you won't have an alibi! The main course is, naturally, the class trials hosted by horror-mascot-before-mascot-horror-games-existed Monokuma! Fun fact: he's feeling white. These transracial statements don't surprise me, he's never been one for being likeable. Gather round fellas, the council has decided- wait, you're part of it. Democracy sucks it should be an authoritarian Kirigiri government but Big Mac needs to grow a spine and somehow outsmart Byakuya, whose face is shown next to "sigma male alpha chad" in Urban Dictionary. No seriously, he faces off an entire country in the novels it's wild. My favorite character is and will still be Sakura, I trust I won't have to explain this one. But, really I only dislike Celeste. She's hyped up to be a whole lot of nothing in the end that can't live up to expectations. The VA's shoulders must be sore by now.
"Makoto get strapped or get clapped"
Ayo Kyoko I will never forget you manhandles an uncontrollable tear frenzy
I'm not the brightest bulb in the room, but neither are they. Do they deserve death for this reason? No!! Hence why this is a series of hopium and copium, and this is the train's first stop. Still kinda funny, these executions really have "mods kill this guy" energy to them. Everything is so over-the-top in its writing and presentation that it's very difficult to be whelmed. You gotta have an opinion on this game. Some people were FNAF kids and I guess I was a Dangan kid... a late bloomer though I was already 15, and since then the only game that came out was a beach episode cashgrab coming out in winter.
I won't sugarcoat it, this is W writing. It's absurd, it's complex, it hits you when it needs to. Kodaka's style is something special. He knows how to blueball his audience and you're still in his grasp. The protagonist Big Mac is a template compared to the others, the whole cast has grounded designs and less complex personalities but they bounce off eachother due to the story's nature, and it's a delight to see. A battle royale with emphasis on relationships and deductions is like, best template ever! So many quality fangames are being made for this reason. Very few are actually completed, people don't see the labor needed for the whole package, meanwhile Kodaka made a sequel in 2 years the mad lad.
Uh oh, someone died. You better not have been watching Shrek 2 in the projector room or you won't have an alibi! The main course is, naturally, the class trials hosted by horror-mascot-before-mascot-horror-games-existed Monokuma! Fun fact: he's feeling white. These transracial statements don't surprise me, he's never been one for being likeable. Gather round fellas, the council has decided- wait, you're part of it. Democracy sucks it should be an authoritarian Kirigiri government but Big Mac needs to grow a spine and somehow outsmart Byakuya, whose face is shown next to "sigma male alpha chad" in Urban Dictionary. No seriously, he faces off an entire country in the novels it's wild. My favorite character is and will still be Sakura, I trust I won't have to explain this one. But, really I only dislike Celeste. She's hyped up to be a whole lot of nothing in the end that can't live up to expectations. The VA's shoulders must be sore by now.
2002
I will only say it once: this game da bomb! this game da bomb! this game da bomb! Hey, I'm still conforming, I simply used the same rune three times. The spell it does is make a banger review, sit and watch. I can already see what all the fuss is about: "9 in 10 goblins recommend this product! Try it out NOW!" call it the fire spell the way I'm 🔥
As it turns out, I did play Libertatis. It was as advertised on the box but hmmm you know what I got stuck between a locked door and a stinky daddy orc. Shots were not fired because I didn't want to and furthermore I knew how to go into creative mode and wedaddle skedaddle my way to safety, and now that I think about it, I had nothing to shoot. I put all my points into ranged specialist and of course the game has like, two bows. They need sunlight to grow, maybe? Can't be the developers cucking me..
You can name your saves!!! You best believe I used totally nondescript names totally in sync with the current totally situation. Cooked whole lotta bread. Made mad number of potions. I'm a prepper man, you best believe I am that guy. Small roadblock is my character looking like a hobo with a bowlcut, but idk it was the best option. Doesnt matter because the lore still says I'm the Holy Moly or something of the sort.
It's not that cryptic? Honestly games back then were kinda like that but the one game taking place in the crypts was spared of that. We have another emblematic feature in voice-acting bordering text-to-speech. I wonder what happened to the guy at the beginning, has anybody seen this man? We take care of too many missing daughters and we neglect our grown men. I know this is not the future Karl Marx wanted. Negative points for including a monarchy ig.
As it turns out, I did play Libertatis. It was as advertised on the box but hmmm you know what I got stuck between a locked door and a stinky daddy orc. Shots were not fired because I didn't want to and furthermore I knew how to go into creative mode and wedaddle skedaddle my way to safety, and now that I think about it, I had nothing to shoot. I put all my points into ranged specialist and of course the game has like, two bows. They need sunlight to grow, maybe? Can't be the developers cucking me..
You can name your saves!!! You best believe I used totally nondescript names totally in sync with the current totally situation. Cooked whole lotta bread. Made mad number of potions. I'm a prepper man, you best believe I am that guy. Small roadblock is my character looking like a hobo with a bowlcut, but idk it was the best option. Doesnt matter because the lore still says I'm the Holy Moly or something of the sort.
It's not that cryptic? Honestly games back then were kinda like that but the one game taking place in the crypts was spared of that. We have another emblematic feature in voice-acting bordering text-to-speech. I wonder what happened to the guy at the beginning, has anybody seen this man? We take care of too many missing daughters and we neglect our grown men. I know this is not the future Karl Marx wanted. Negative points for including a monarchy ig.