Platanoking
There is only one video game that has ever made me genuinely fucking cry at an assortment of pixels on a screen.
This game could’ve come out in 2028 and still be cutting edge. What an accomplishment.
This game could’ve come out in 2028 and still be cutting edge. What an accomplishment.
2013
Maybe 11+ years of this being the only GTA title while Rockstar turns Online into an incomprehensible money machine has soured our collective view on GTA V, but I just don’t think it matches the heights of any of Rockstars big titles that came before or after it.
Sure, Trevor is wild and entertaining and Franklin is likeable and the dialogues are funny but story wise GTA V just feels like an early 2000s action comedy with none of the real impact of a RDR2 or GTA IV or even San Andreas (a game which did a much better job balancing comic relief with serious themes). It doesn’t really have anything to say and feels like a huge step back for a studio that is best at crafting profound and deeply emotional narratives with complex characters. Even the satire is weak and juvenile; GTA IV’s vicious critique of American capitalism reduced to a series of South Park-esque edge and sex jokes. I know that emulating action movies such as Heat was Rockstar’s intent, but the narrative leans so far into the comic and edgy that it completely neuters the feelings of stakes and consequences.
The gameplay itself is very good, however. Heists are a ton of fun to plan and execute, and the set pieces are excellent, but the mechanic could be fleshed out more. Unfortunately, GTA V does run into the recent trappings of overly linear missions that railroad players into a predetermined set of actions; a real missed opportunity considering the ability to switch characters. The driving and shooting are fun; my personal hot take is that I enjoy GTA V’s arcade style driving, better suited for car-centric SoCal, more than GTA IV’s more realistic physics and handling. In spite of a few flaws I overall found most missions and side content to be fun and engaging. Presentation wise, there isn’t anyone who comes close to Rockstar, and the soundtrack is absolutely amazing. IIRC this is the first GTA with ambient sountrack during combat and missions, and it works amazingly in making set pieces feel grandoise, thrilling, and cinematic.
GTA V’s best attribute is the world; its the best recreation of a real city in any game ever, to the point where driving in LA you will find many locations re-created precisely. I didn’t consider the countryside to be as disappointing as many, and found the many activites such as jetski races, underwater exploration, and drug runs to be a fun an engaging break from the bustle of Los Santos. One major flaw in this world however, one that’s more than likely the result of technical limitations on the PS3/360, is the lack of depth and enterable locations compared to previous GTAs, making the world feel more shallow.
GTA V comes from a studio whose biggest strength is the narrative, making it probably Rockstar’s worst game. Rockstar’s worst game, however, is still better than 90% of games out there thanks to the excellent core gameplay and polish.
Sure, Trevor is wild and entertaining and Franklin is likeable and the dialogues are funny but story wise GTA V just feels like an early 2000s action comedy with none of the real impact of a RDR2 or GTA IV or even San Andreas (a game which did a much better job balancing comic relief with serious themes). It doesn’t really have anything to say and feels like a huge step back for a studio that is best at crafting profound and deeply emotional narratives with complex characters. Even the satire is weak and juvenile; GTA IV’s vicious critique of American capitalism reduced to a series of South Park-esque edge and sex jokes. I know that emulating action movies such as Heat was Rockstar’s intent, but the narrative leans so far into the comic and edgy that it completely neuters the feelings of stakes and consequences.
The gameplay itself is very good, however. Heists are a ton of fun to plan and execute, and the set pieces are excellent, but the mechanic could be fleshed out more. Unfortunately, GTA V does run into the recent trappings of overly linear missions that railroad players into a predetermined set of actions; a real missed opportunity considering the ability to switch characters. The driving and shooting are fun; my personal hot take is that I enjoy GTA V’s arcade style driving, better suited for car-centric SoCal, more than GTA IV’s more realistic physics and handling. In spite of a few flaws I overall found most missions and side content to be fun and engaging. Presentation wise, there isn’t anyone who comes close to Rockstar, and the soundtrack is absolutely amazing. IIRC this is the first GTA with ambient sountrack during combat and missions, and it works amazingly in making set pieces feel grandoise, thrilling, and cinematic.
GTA V’s best attribute is the world; its the best recreation of a real city in any game ever, to the point where driving in LA you will find many locations re-created precisely. I didn’t consider the countryside to be as disappointing as many, and found the many activites such as jetski races, underwater exploration, and drug runs to be a fun an engaging break from the bustle of Los Santos. One major flaw in this world however, one that’s more than likely the result of technical limitations on the PS3/360, is the lack of depth and enterable locations compared to previous GTAs, making the world feel more shallow.
GTA V comes from a studio whose biggest strength is the narrative, making it probably Rockstar’s worst game. Rockstar’s worst game, however, is still better than 90% of games out there thanks to the excellent core gameplay and polish.
2020
This regards 1.0 only; I haven’t played 2.0 yet. 2.0 will probably fix a lot of the issues regarding the skill tree and playstyle for me, but I can’t really speak on it.
I first played this game on PS4. Wow, what a buggy piece of shit. I still enjoyed it enough to grind through 80 non-functional hours and beat the overall solid main story.
Cyberpunk 1.0 had some really fantastic pieces of a game that just needed more time in the oven. I think my biggest problems with it are the reduction of pre-Act 1 montage, awful gringo Spanish, and the Ubisoft-esque filler content like gang hideouts and vigilante missions that appear far too often in place of better side content. For that reason Night City sometimes lacks the lively feeling of a world like Rockstar’s or (pre 2015) Bethesda. Regardless, for the incredibly ambitious scale, messy development, and borderline abusive practices of executives, its impressive what CDPR was able to pull off here. Revisiting a functioning Night City on PC in 2023 (pre-update) I very much enjoyed my time. I can’t wait to revisit 2.0/Phantom Liberty and play something more akin to the original vision of the game.
I first played this game on PS4. Wow, what a buggy piece of shit. I still enjoyed it enough to grind through 80 non-functional hours and beat the overall solid main story.
Cyberpunk 1.0 had some really fantastic pieces of a game that just needed more time in the oven. I think my biggest problems with it are the reduction of pre-Act 1 montage, awful gringo Spanish, and the Ubisoft-esque filler content like gang hideouts and vigilante missions that appear far too often in place of better side content. For that reason Night City sometimes lacks the lively feeling of a world like Rockstar’s or (pre 2015) Bethesda. Regardless, for the incredibly ambitious scale, messy development, and borderline abusive practices of executives, its impressive what CDPR was able to pull off here. Revisiting a functioning Night City on PC in 2023 (pre-update) I very much enjoyed my time. I can’t wait to revisit 2.0/Phantom Liberty and play something more akin to the original vision of the game.
2023
I gave it 4 stars at first, but like most Starfield players, I’ve hit that wall at 60-80 hours where one realizes that Bethesda isn’t putting out anything close to Skyrim again.
I truly wanted to love this game so so bad. I was hyped into the stratosphere for Starfield. I didn’t stop talking about it for three months, I preordered the Premium edition, I even built a PC to enjoy 60 fps! (I maxed out at 50 on medium settings) For the first 60 hours I was engrossed, and feverently defended the game against the legions of haters. All this time, little sentence grew in my thoughts until I could no longer hear anything else: “that’s it?”
There’s a difference between other Bethesda game’s warts, and Starfield’s genuinely baffling decisions. No land vehicles is a….choice. Not being able to fly planet to planet completely kills the entire point of an otherwise solid space component. Imagine how much fun it would be to fly around, running into space pirates, random encounters, and abandoned starships? Nope, instead we have a series of loading screens. All the handcrafted content, much of which is genuinely good, is spread too far and wide and already discovered for you on the map. Exploring and finding cool shit is 95% of Bethesda’s magic and its been reduced to a series of clicks and loading screens.
It just makes no sense. Flying to barren planets and finding the same 3 labs and resource stations became a chore. I think the breaking point for me was joining the Crimson Fleet and finding every procedurally CF base friendly, providing no piracy missions or merchants or anything but the same 4 lines of corny dialouge, completely negating the entire point of more than half the dungeons!! Systems like weapon and spacesuit modding, and companions, which were so good in Fallout 4, are a complete shell of what they were. They had something going there with environmental conditions forcing you to adapt spacesuits and equipment, until Todd Howard decided to make it a “feeling” thing instead of an actual gameplay mechanic with substance. (Seriously, just listen to his interview). The entire UI. All of it. Just baffling stuff.
The worldbuilding is fine I guess, but lacking compared to Skyrim. Its a shame Bethesda focuses on dry ass Constellation and didn’t expand on their more interesting elements. For a space game, the lack of cool areas like black holes and crazy weather conditions and geographical features is jarring. There’s a serious lack of enemy variety or enviornmental storytelling. And where the fuck is House Varunn? They just fucked off to some planet you can’t go to? There’s a system called Serpentis, are they there? Or at least some ruins indicating their previous presence as a significant enough military power to launch wars? Nope, just the same procgen junk. The coolest and most interesting faction by far, reduced to a footnote. What a shame.
And the frustrating thing is there’s genuine good content here. The Vanguard questline is easily the best Bethesda has ever done. The skill tree actually encourages roleplaying and is a huge upgrade over whatever the hell Fallout 4 was supposed to be. Some locations like the zero g abandoned casino were a blast to explore. The gravity physics are fantastic and combined with boost packs, powers, and explosive chemical/incendiary/liquid NO2 items scattered around give you a variety of fun approaches to combat. The weapons from design to feel are fantastic. The shipbuilder is incredible. But like a dry sandwich with a smittering of chipotle mayo and modly cheese, Bethesda spread this deliciousness way too thin across all 1000 planets and juxaposed it with horribly half baked systems, shit AI, hit or miss quests, and an outright regression on flaws that have persisted since Oblivion.
Maybe I’ll come back to this when an arsenal of mods and DLC make it a fun timesink but as of now I can’t help but stomach the bitter dissapointment of watching one of my all time favorite developers fall behind the times. It’s like watching Kobe in 2015: a childhood hero washed up, the game passing him by with each second.
I truly wanted to love this game so so bad. I was hyped into the stratosphere for Starfield. I didn’t stop talking about it for three months, I preordered the Premium edition, I even built a PC to enjoy 60 fps! (I maxed out at 50 on medium settings) For the first 60 hours I was engrossed, and feverently defended the game against the legions of haters. All this time, little sentence grew in my thoughts until I could no longer hear anything else: “that’s it?”
There’s a difference between other Bethesda game’s warts, and Starfield’s genuinely baffling decisions. No land vehicles is a….choice. Not being able to fly planet to planet completely kills the entire point of an otherwise solid space component. Imagine how much fun it would be to fly around, running into space pirates, random encounters, and abandoned starships? Nope, instead we have a series of loading screens. All the handcrafted content, much of which is genuinely good, is spread too far and wide and already discovered for you on the map. Exploring and finding cool shit is 95% of Bethesda’s magic and its been reduced to a series of clicks and loading screens.
It just makes no sense. Flying to barren planets and finding the same 3 labs and resource stations became a chore. I think the breaking point for me was joining the Crimson Fleet and finding every procedurally CF base friendly, providing no piracy missions or merchants or anything but the same 4 lines of corny dialouge, completely negating the entire point of more than half the dungeons!! Systems like weapon and spacesuit modding, and companions, which were so good in Fallout 4, are a complete shell of what they were. They had something going there with environmental conditions forcing you to adapt spacesuits and equipment, until Todd Howard decided to make it a “feeling” thing instead of an actual gameplay mechanic with substance. (Seriously, just listen to his interview). The entire UI. All of it. Just baffling stuff.
The worldbuilding is fine I guess, but lacking compared to Skyrim. Its a shame Bethesda focuses on dry ass Constellation and didn’t expand on their more interesting elements. For a space game, the lack of cool areas like black holes and crazy weather conditions and geographical features is jarring. There’s a serious lack of enemy variety or enviornmental storytelling. And where the fuck is House Varunn? They just fucked off to some planet you can’t go to? There’s a system called Serpentis, are they there? Or at least some ruins indicating their previous presence as a significant enough military power to launch wars? Nope, just the same procgen junk. The coolest and most interesting faction by far, reduced to a footnote. What a shame.
And the frustrating thing is there’s genuine good content here. The Vanguard questline is easily the best Bethesda has ever done. The skill tree actually encourages roleplaying and is a huge upgrade over whatever the hell Fallout 4 was supposed to be. Some locations like the zero g abandoned casino were a blast to explore. The gravity physics are fantastic and combined with boost packs, powers, and explosive chemical/incendiary/liquid NO2 items scattered around give you a variety of fun approaches to combat. The weapons from design to feel are fantastic. The shipbuilder is incredible. But like a dry sandwich with a smittering of chipotle mayo and modly cheese, Bethesda spread this deliciousness way too thin across all 1000 planets and juxaposed it with horribly half baked systems, shit AI, hit or miss quests, and an outright regression on flaws that have persisted since Oblivion.
Maybe I’ll come back to this when an arsenal of mods and DLC make it a fun timesink but as of now I can’t help but stomach the bitter dissapointment of watching one of my all time favorite developers fall behind the times. It’s like watching Kobe in 2015: a childhood hero washed up, the game passing him by with each second.
2007
Idk what black magic Nintendo used to make this masterpiece run on a Wii but I fucking need some. Every part of this game is beautiful and so incredibly well-designed it should be in a museum.
Haven’t finished yet, so far it’s pretty good. It takes a while to get going but after climbing the Wall, the game really picks up.
I absolutely love the customization, boss designs, and combat mechanics, even if I can’t figure out how to use non-lightweight builds for the life of me. Having never played an AC game before, it seems like a callback to challenging linear 2000s action games in the best way. Fromsoft really doesn’t dissapoint.
I absolutely love the customization, boss designs, and combat mechanics, even if I can’t figure out how to use non-lightweight builds for the life of me. Having never played an AC game before, it seems like a callback to challenging linear 2000s action games in the best way. Fromsoft really doesn’t dissapoint.
I just can’t.
Maybe the story is worth the unbelievable amount of hype, but Jesus Christ the combat is so awful I can’t get past 25 hours.
Imagine Dark Souls but your character is stuck in mud, has no viable ranged or magic attacks, no stealth options, weapons have no weight or impact, and fights have none of the challenge that makes Souls so exhilarating. It sucks. Fucking Oblivion combat was better.
Maybe the story is worth the unbelievable amount of hype, but Jesus Christ the combat is so awful I can’t get past 25 hours.
Imagine Dark Souls but your character is stuck in mud, has no viable ranged or magic attacks, no stealth options, weapons have no weight or impact, and fights have none of the challenge that makes Souls so exhilarating. It sucks. Fucking Oblivion combat was better.
2020
Goddamn this game is beautiful. The art style is absolutely breathtaking. The vistas are so serene and peaceful you forget that you’re playing a game where the objective is to butcher an invading army.
This is a definitely a game where the strengths outweigh its apparent flaws (crappy AI, mediocre and repetitive side content). The combat mechanics are fun and varied, but the true strength of GOT is the narratives. Both the main story and character quests are all emotionally powerful and deeply satisfying.
This is a definitely a game where the strengths outweigh its apparent flaws (crappy AI, mediocre and repetitive side content). The combat mechanics are fun and varied, but the true strength of GOT is the narratives. Both the main story and character quests are all emotionally powerful and deeply satisfying.
2022
Had the morbid curiosity to check out the latest incarnation of this accursed franchise after seeing this title on gamepass. Got 11 games into a season when Daniel Jones get strip sacked. Literally EVERY PLAYER on my team is locked into a blocking animation and can't move. I am helpless as Demarcus Lawrence (who is somehow the next incarnation of Reggie White every fucking game) returns it for a touchdown.
Next drive. I throw a 50/50 jump ball to Isaiah Hodgins, who is one-on-one with a shorter CB. The ball TELEPORTS THROUGH THE WIDEOUT right into the corner's hands. Interception. I spike my controller into my bed, ragequit, uninstall, and curse EA and the Dallas Cowboys with my exasperated, dying breath.
Next drive. I throw a 50/50 jump ball to Isaiah Hodgins, who is one-on-one with a shorter CB. The ball TELEPORTS THROUGH THE WIDEOUT right into the corner's hands. Interception. I spike my controller into my bed, ragequit, uninstall, and curse EA and the Dallas Cowboys with my exasperated, dying breath.
2022
A masterpiece in open world design, combat, exploration, and visual storytelling. This is Fromsoft at the absolute height of their power- and it is GLORIOUS to behold.
2021
This game is the epitome of "unrealized potential".
The best core gameplay in the series. (or at least, since Halo 3). Fun shooting and movement that marries modern FPS with the classic Halo feel. An open sandbox that lets you approach the campaign missions in unique ways reminiscent of the original trilogy's best. An excellent soundtrack. The fun-as-hell grappling hook. It begs the question; where the fuck is the content?
Battlefield is an utter ruin and Call of Duty has gotten progressively worse with every entry and the multiplayer had 225,000 concurrent players at launch. How in the world did you fuck this up 343?
The best core gameplay in the series. (or at least, since Halo 3). Fun shooting and movement that marries modern FPS with the classic Halo feel. An open sandbox that lets you approach the campaign missions in unique ways reminiscent of the original trilogy's best. An excellent soundtrack. The fun-as-hell grappling hook. It begs the question; where the fuck is the content?
Battlefield is an utter ruin and Call of Duty has gotten progressively worse with every entry and the multiplayer had 225,000 concurrent players at launch. How in the world did you fuck this up 343?
I will write a full review once I beat the game, but Sekiro probably has the single best combat system of any game ever, hands-down.
Using the magic powers of hindsight and post-Fallout 76 Bethesda hate, the gaming community has come together to scorn and mock its once celebrated golden child. In 2023, Skyrim is a buggy, overrated mess, with a terribly dated combat system and mediocre main questline. In 2013, we didn't have the time to analyze and nitpick Skyrim's flaws- because we were too busy falling in love with it.
Like many gamers, Skyrim was my first true gaming love, and it was love at first sight. Nearly a decade later and very few games can capture the majesty and splendor of Skyrim's lush landscapes, accompanied by an rich soundtrack that instantly transports you into the wilds. From verdant forests to icy peaks to foreboding Dwemer ruins, Skyrim is a masterpiece in art design and immersive world building. Every inch feels...alive, a rarity for even the greatest of video games.
The freedom in this world is of course, unparalleled. We all know the sensation of boundless possibility, of travelling to complete one quest and finding yourself peering into every nook and cranny along the way. There are endless ways to approach exploration and combat, and as dull as the melee combat is, I'll admit that the stealth and magic mechanics are still gleefully fun even without mods. It's still a blast cloaking yourself with Ebony Mail (complete with cool shadow effects!) and slitting the throats of an entire bandit camp unnoticed, or baiting enemies into walking into explosive runes, or eviscerating them with shouts. The dungeons and cities and POI are rich, packed with detail, and unique in design and attractions.
Skyrim critics often target the quests and writing- which can be lackluster, if all you play is the main quest (outside of the masterpiece that is Diplomatic Immunity) and the Companions. There are too many iconic side quests to count- No One Escapes Cidihnia Mine, Blood On The Ice, Lost To The Ages, The Wolf Queen Awakened, The Raid, Forbidden Legend, pretty much every Daedric quest- that each tell wonderful stories that bring Skyrim to life while offering fun and unique gameplay options. The Dark Brotherhood questline is my particular favorite- what other game gives you the thrill of whacking the Emperor's imposter, and then killing the Emperor again? This is to say nothing of Dawnguard or Dragonborn, probably the two best DLCs of any game ever made.
Many gamers claim that Skyrim aged poorly, but in an era of broken and incomplete and shallow titles I'd argue there are few games that have aged so well. I have over 2000 hours and counting in vanilla Skyrim alone- what other title gives so much bang for your buck? 11 years later, this is still the best $60 I ever spent.
Like many gamers, Skyrim was my first true gaming love, and it was love at first sight. Nearly a decade later and very few games can capture the majesty and splendor of Skyrim's lush landscapes, accompanied by an rich soundtrack that instantly transports you into the wilds. From verdant forests to icy peaks to foreboding Dwemer ruins, Skyrim is a masterpiece in art design and immersive world building. Every inch feels...alive, a rarity for even the greatest of video games.
The freedom in this world is of course, unparalleled. We all know the sensation of boundless possibility, of travelling to complete one quest and finding yourself peering into every nook and cranny along the way. There are endless ways to approach exploration and combat, and as dull as the melee combat is, I'll admit that the stealth and magic mechanics are still gleefully fun even without mods. It's still a blast cloaking yourself with Ebony Mail (complete with cool shadow effects!) and slitting the throats of an entire bandit camp unnoticed, or baiting enemies into walking into explosive runes, or eviscerating them with shouts. The dungeons and cities and POI are rich, packed with detail, and unique in design and attractions.
Skyrim critics often target the quests and writing- which can be lackluster, if all you play is the main quest (outside of the masterpiece that is Diplomatic Immunity) and the Companions. There are too many iconic side quests to count- No One Escapes Cidihnia Mine, Blood On The Ice, Lost To The Ages, The Wolf Queen Awakened, The Raid, Forbidden Legend, pretty much every Daedric quest- that each tell wonderful stories that bring Skyrim to life while offering fun and unique gameplay options. The Dark Brotherhood questline is my particular favorite- what other game gives you the thrill of whacking the Emperor's imposter, and then killing the Emperor again? This is to say nothing of Dawnguard or Dragonborn, probably the two best DLCs of any game ever made.
Many gamers claim that Skyrim aged poorly, but in an era of broken and incomplete and shallow titles I'd argue there are few games that have aged so well. I have over 2000 hours and counting in vanilla Skyrim alone- what other title gives so much bang for your buck? 11 years later, this is still the best $60 I ever spent.