When I was a child, there were three games that pretty much any other kid you met was guaranteed to have played: Tekken 3, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, and The House of the Dead. While the latter did not have the staying power of the other two, particularly after the rail shooter genre died out, HOTD was very impactful in its time. Alongside Resident Evil, it revived zombies in the public imagination - going so far as to inspire the likes of George A. Romero. So when I heard the news that one of my most beloved childhood games was getting a remake, I was ecstatic.

Until I watched some gameplay footage, anyway. But I believe watching a game and playing it are often two very different experiences, so here we are: I've finally played through House of the Dead Remake.

It's a pile of shit. This has to be one of the worst remakes I've ever played. Given Sega's lack of interest in reanimating this old zombie, I feel like developer MegaPixel and publisher Forever Entertainment's main interests lay in wresting some nostalgia dollars from people who grew up playing the original, because this is clearly not an attempt to introduce a classic to a new generation of fans. There simply isn't enough effort put in. Gone are the iconic character designs, the vibrant and striking colour palette, the campy fun, the well-animated violence, the punchy sound effects and the incredible soundtrack.

Instead, what we've got here is a washed-out blob of mediocrity. Everything is functional, and nothing more. The art design is hideous, with only the Hermit boss looking decent, and it's hard to even tell things apart. The fluid effects - blood, slime, water, lava - are distractingly bad and feel like they come from a pre-alpha version of the game. The guns sound like toys. They feel weak too, because the ragdoll physics are so limp compared to the hand-animated reactions of enemies in the 1996 game. I could go on and on.

The original House of the Dead had a distinct corny charm born from its lack of self-awareness. House of the Dead Remake feels like it's trying to border on parody, but it doesn't even accomplish that. For whatever odd reason, the serious parts have been made more serious and the comic parts more comic, and the end result doesn't mesh well.

The most heinous crime of all is the soundtrack. The original House of the Dead boasts some of the best arcade music in history. House of the Dead Remake's OST sounds like a YouTube musician making HOTD-inspired music, and you know how YouTube musicians are. Everything has been douched up with excessive synths and shred-metal wankery. No sense of proportion. I know, I know, Forever Entertainment didn't license the original's soundtrack and the composer's Twinkies were too soggy and bla bla bla. I also don't give a shit; I have my own problems. This soundtrack isn't bad just compared to the original, it's bad by itself. It sounds like circus music, and strengthens my feeling that no one making this remake was interested in the cohesive whole as much as their own contribution.

This is a very harsh assessment, but I feel MegaPixel's dev team were simply too immature. Talented people who are probably big fans of the original game, but have neither honed their craft nor learned about subtlety enough to have a project like this outsourced to them. The emojis in the loading screens contributed to this conclusion. [¬º-°]¬

Playing House of the Dead Remake is like drinking a soda after it's gone flat. It wears the skin of the original, but lacks the heart. 'Soul vs soulless remake' is a bit of a meme, but I feel it really applies here. The original game managed to do more with technology 25 years in the past. Go play that.

What an absolutely underrated 2d platformer. While it borrows from plenty of other platformers, it uses these influences in the best ways possible to create a very enjoyable adventure!

For 2d platforming fans, this game can be best described as a combination of Donkey Kong Country Returns and Rayman Legends. For newer players who may not have played those games, then think of this as a fun, super vibrant 2d platformer with lots of secrets to find and lots of challenging areas to cross. All the while, you play as this long tailed, cute Marsupial character (he's from an old comic series).

The game does that great thing that most games should do where the core game isn't too tough to run through but if you want the challenge, it is there after the fact. Collecting everything, going for the 100% and playing the tougher challenges is where the hardcore platforming fans will have a ton of fun.

On top of the core game, they added in a whole new dinosaur themed world that includes new and different biomes and challenges. When I started this portion of the game, I was amazed to see that they added so much more new content for free!

So on the negative side, the boss battles could've been a lot more inventive. The boss battles are basically a set of forced scrolling levels where you are trying not to let the left side of the screen catch up and get you while also chasing the boss on the right (which we've seen in many games). Each one just gets progressively harder, but I would've liked a bit more variation in the boss battles.

There were also times, very few, but they did happen, where the controls didn't feel super fluid. This was mostly in the really difficult levels after the main game. There were times where I would look at my controller in dis belief because I thought I jumped? Again, it didn't happen often but for this to happen in a level that demands super precision platformer, it was a little irritating.

Great game though, if you're a platforming fan of any kind, you have no reason to pass this one up!

Planet of Lana is a 2D platforming, stealth, puzzle game that has you play as a young boy whose village has been over taken by mysterious, scary robots. As the sole escapee from the robots, he ventures out into the wilderness to find other dangers as well. However, he is soon joined by a little cat-like creature named Mui who helps him in his adventure to find out what happened to his village.

🎮 In Planet of Lana, you’re traversing beautiful environments while being challenged by a plethora of 2d puzzles. Many of them will have you stealthing around to avoid the gaze of creatures and robots. The main boy you play as, as you might suspect, is much slower and weaker than these robots. So, you’ll be taking your time, surveying the area to make sure you don’t get spotted. Much of the success you have is thanks to your little buddy Mui, who uses his agility and mysterious alien powers to help.

🤫 I may be biased because I am a big 2D platforming fan, but this game is right down my alley. While I’m not the biggest fan of stealth-based games, this game features a very light version of the mechanic. Solving a puzzle while avoiding or even taking out a robot feels very satisfying. As a puzzle fan, the puzzles in this game were mainly pretty simple to figure out but I will say that in the latter part of the game, there were probably two that I was pretty stumped on. You’ll have to really think a bit creatively about the abilities you have at your disposal to solve some of them.

🌙 For those who are fans of Playdead games (Limbo and Inside) and you’re looking for a game in that vein, you will not be disappointed. Planet of Lana’s atmosphere might be cheerier than those games, but the concept of your village being taken by killer robots is pretty dark. Then further on in the game, it’s revealed that some of things happening to the wildlife and people of the planet is even darker.

🤔 With all that said, this game expects you to solve everything the way it wants you to. There really isn’t much room for interpretation or open thought. If you’re not a fan of solving puzzles and you get stumped a lot with this type of gameplay, you’re probably not going to feel much different about this game.

🎨 The game has a gorgeous art style. Much of it takes place during the day, out in the open. Which is interesting because when you think stealth, you think night and darkness. The game has a couple of dark environments but the majority of the game is pretty bright. Regardless of it being day or night or bright or dark, all of the environments in the game look beautiful. It has this storybook feel to it, which I really like. However, I know this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea as most are not expecting a golden book style presentation when your story is about killer robots taking your family.

🙊 I did notice that there were some sprites that stuck out like a sore thumb. You can tell in many areas of the game, the developer was clumping sprites together to form clusters of grass and bushes, so I did see instances where the edges of the sprites would stick out and look really out of place. Considering how nice the rest of the environment looks, this is unfortunate. Most may not even notice it, but it was distracting for me.

🌟 The clothes/design of the character, audio cues and his life here on this planet definitely harken back to the beginning of the Luke Skywalker saga in Star Wars. It really feels like they said “What if we had a younger Luke and he lived on a nicer planet.”

🌞 The game also seems to take place during summer and I love the summer feel of this game. Running through areas of field and grass, just jumping from rock to rock… it just feels like summer and hits really nice during this time of year. Even though there is already a bit of it, I kind of wish there was just a bit more running through fields and platforming without enemies because it’s just wholesome and enjoyable.

📖 While the story of the game was mainly about the boy finding out what happened to his village and where the robots took his people, I do wish we got a little more insight as to why it was happening. I guess it's just because the robots were evil? I don't know, but that's all we're really given as explanation.

🐈 One nit pick I have with the game is that there are times where the puzzles and platforming required Mui to jump a far distance and it was some times hard to judge if he could make that jump or not as some puzzles were based on you trying to get Mui closer to the exit when he couldn’t quite get there in the first place. It would’ve been nice to have some kind of visual indicator of the jumps he could make.

🏁 This is a great little 2D puzzle game that isn’t perfect and isn’t going to be for everyone. Some might want a darker tone with their games or perhaps less puzzle gameplay and more action. As it stands though, I thoroughly enjoyed this one and I could see myself playing through it again in the future.

My only complaint about Cacoon is that there isn't more of it to play. This surprisingly short (probably because I was having such a great time playing it) game introduces you into a uniquely strange world with some of the best puzzle solving I've seen in a game in a long time.

If you do not like puzzle games, you want to stay far away from this one. However, if you enjoy the genre, you're in for a hell of a treat. You play as a little bug person who is hatched into a strange, confusing world. The game is ambiguous with it's story and setting, but this all works out for the gameplay.

The game play is puzzles, puzzles, puzzles, boss fight, puzzles. While in the beginning, they go pretty easy on you, eventually you start collecting these different color orbs that have different abilities when you carry them on your back. However, each orb can also be dove into to find another world within. You will get to the point where you're popping in and out of 3 orbs and swapping them off of your back to solve certain puzzles and it's very impressive to see it all come together.

There are some puzzles you will breeze through but there are other puzzles that will bend your mind. All the while, you realize that the game gives you no context for anything (not even button prompts) but somehow everything in the world makes sense and is intuitive to learn. You'll have many moments (as long as you don't use a guide) where you will feel like a genius for figuring out the solution to some of these puzzles.

And did I mention boss fights!? I did! However these boss fights are all fought passively in that, your character can not natively attack or shoot, so you'll have to get creative with what the boss gives you to defeat it. I also loved that the developer some times created unique boss phases that you'll only see during certain phases of the fight. They really put a lot of love and care into this game!

This would've been a 5 star game for me, as my ONLY gripe is that the game is a little TOO ambiguous. After the long journey of completing the game, they do treat you to a cool cutscene but I still have no idea what was going on or why we were doing what we did. Maybe I don't get it? Or maybe that's how they want it. Either way, this really isn't that big of a deal, but for me, it does keep it from 5 stars.

Again, hell of a game for puzzle fans. A must play!

Fallout 4 is a massive, post-apocalyptic playground. The main story is a bit meh, but exploring the irradiated ruins of Boston, getting hooked on side quests, and building crazy settlements? Super addictive. The gunplay is solid, meeting weird characters is always entertaining, and just wandering around scavenging is strangely fun. There are definitely bugs, and it gets repetitive if you burn through the content too quickly, but if you love huge open worlds and the whole Fallout vibe, you'll easily sink hours into this one.