TheQuietGamer
You know what one of the worst things to happen to gaming is? The internet. It's also arguably one of the worst things to happen to humanity in general, but that's a rant for another day. Between YouTubers and video game journalism sites spewing wildly exaggerated praises or criticisms in their write-ups for views, it’s led to a culture where certain titles either get hyper-glorified or mercilessly crapped on for no real reason and with no room for anyone to safely argue against whatever the general consensus may be for fear of reprisal. The Twin Snakes, a remake of the PS1 classic with mechanics added in from its sequel, hasn’t suffered as much from this as others, but there’s still a pretty vocal group out there actively pretending this is some absolute travesty and I really don’t understand why. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard their complaints. I just think they’re absurdly overblown.
My theory is that it’s all the result of a sort of snowball effect. Where years of people making perfectly reasonable deductions in online forums and comment sections about areas where the game came up short or could have been better has been regurgitated by the likes of video essayists (shout out to ProudLittleSeal for teaching me that term) in an overstated manner; leading to a hive mind cult that believes and is determined to convince everyone this is an insult to the original’s legacy. It’s not. It honestly wouldn’t bother me if they weren’t so unwilling to let anybody think otherwise, but I swear every time I’ve witnessed someone bring TTS up in a positive light one of its detractors goes out of their way to basically tell them how incorrect their opinion apparently is. Ridiculous, and because that annoys me going to be taking what may be a somewhat similarly antagonistic approach for this review as I discuss the various complaints from its critics and put my own two cents on why I disagree with them out there. Which will be interesting to do since it’s not like they’re stating anything explicitly untrue, merely exaggerated in my opinion.
The most common grievance I’ve seen leveled against this is that the variety of newly implemented gameplay features (first-person aiming, hanging off ledges, ect.) and items (tranquilizer gun, PGS1-T,…) actively break the experience by removing any difficulty from the majority of scenarios. Now, they certainly make things easier and there’s a case to be made that the Revolver Ocelot fight was cheapened as a result of the better aiming system, but I feel as though the brighter enemy AI and their ability to replenish their ranks counteracts your increased amount of capabilities a bit. I also think most don’t realize the challenge they remember from the originator was more a factor of its age than anything. The adventure here is less demanding due to the fact that all was introduced modernizes it so you’re no longer fighting (as much) against an aging design. They’ve made the actual act of playing the first Solid more natural, which is exactly what a remake is supposed to do. It’s not that the opposition was neutered, things are simply no longer as dated. Consequently, the whole narrative about these changes being for the worse doesn’t hold any water in my mind.
However, an area of its denigrators’ frustration I can partially agree with is related to the storytelling. Yet, just not for the reason most commonly cited. That stuff about the cutscenes aping the action of the early 2000s movies that were popular at the time somehow ruining the plot? Not buying it. I get the argument that the altered soundtrack robs the writing and world as a whole of some atmosphere, but my guys and gals are we REALLY moaning over an element of a MGS outing being absurd?! For me the more pressing issue (outside of them removing the sexy camera angles focusing on Sniper Wolf’s body in the torture room scenes) is the re-recorded voice acting. They got nearly the entire cast to return, but either through bad direction or a lack of enthusiasm for the project their performances are phoned in, flat, and suffering from a reduced sense of emotion. It’s still the same great tale of memorable twists and fourth wall breaking moments that have been slightly modified to better fit the GameCube, it only no longer hits as hard thanks to that unfortunate flaw.
As significant as the plot was to Solid’s acclaim back in the day, its weaker delivery here isn’t enough to make me to resent this update when the gameplay improvements are so strong. The question then becomes would I recommend this over the previous iteration? That’s where things get a little complicated, since the answer is no I wouldn’t. Not on account of me viewing it as a kind of adulteration, rather concerns with the modern price of entry. On top of the 1998 release’s retro polygonal graphics and clunky mechanics remaining an huge part of why it continues to be incredibly dang charming after all these years, this version is evidently something of a collectors item nowadays. Meaning that secondhand copies can go for stupidly high. You could honestly grab the PS1 discs and the console itself together for cheaper in most instances.
If you truly don’t care what you pay though, this is still a perfectly viable and acceptable way to get your hands on Hideo Kojima’s borderline masterpiece. The hatred and negativity you’ll find for it from a very outspoken portion of the Metal Gear community is unjustified and hyperbolic. Not to mention rapidly becoming harder and harder to take seriously each passing day in our current era of remakes. I mean, I don’t see anyone upset about RE 4 2023 smoothing out the survival-horror classic and enhancing its playability. Perhaps not the most fitting comparison and it’s tough to warrant why this take would prove valuable to those already familiar with the game in its prior format, but is also perhaps more apt than many would care to admit. Regardless, my ultimate goal has been to express why I believe the views of a group that are attempting to strip this title of its merits are excessive and overly pedantic, which if I haven’t been able to do that by now then no amount of further typing or elaboration is going to help me. So in closing, all I have to say is don’t buy into the opprobrium, ‘cause bad this ain’t.
8.5/10
My theory is that it’s all the result of a sort of snowball effect. Where years of people making perfectly reasonable deductions in online forums and comment sections about areas where the game came up short or could have been better has been regurgitated by the likes of video essayists (shout out to ProudLittleSeal for teaching me that term) in an overstated manner; leading to a hive mind cult that believes and is determined to convince everyone this is an insult to the original’s legacy. It’s not. It honestly wouldn’t bother me if they weren’t so unwilling to let anybody think otherwise, but I swear every time I’ve witnessed someone bring TTS up in a positive light one of its detractors goes out of their way to basically tell them how incorrect their opinion apparently is. Ridiculous, and because that annoys me going to be taking what may be a somewhat similarly antagonistic approach for this review as I discuss the various complaints from its critics and put my own two cents on why I disagree with them out there. Which will be interesting to do since it’s not like they’re stating anything explicitly untrue, merely exaggerated in my opinion.
The most common grievance I’ve seen leveled against this is that the variety of newly implemented gameplay features (first-person aiming, hanging off ledges, ect.) and items (tranquilizer gun, PGS1-T,…) actively break the experience by removing any difficulty from the majority of scenarios. Now, they certainly make things easier and there’s a case to be made that the Revolver Ocelot fight was cheapened as a result of the better aiming system, but I feel as though the brighter enemy AI and their ability to replenish their ranks counteracts your increased amount of capabilities a bit. I also think most don’t realize the challenge they remember from the originator was more a factor of its age than anything. The adventure here is less demanding due to the fact that all was introduced modernizes it so you’re no longer fighting (as much) against an aging design. They’ve made the actual act of playing the first Solid more natural, which is exactly what a remake is supposed to do. It’s not that the opposition was neutered, things are simply no longer as dated. Consequently, the whole narrative about these changes being for the worse doesn’t hold any water in my mind.
However, an area of its denigrators’ frustration I can partially agree with is related to the storytelling. Yet, just not for the reason most commonly cited. That stuff about the cutscenes aping the action of the early 2000s movies that were popular at the time somehow ruining the plot? Not buying it. I get the argument that the altered soundtrack robs the writing and world as a whole of some atmosphere, but my guys and gals are we REALLY moaning over an element of a MGS outing being absurd?! For me the more pressing issue (outside of them removing the sexy camera angles focusing on Sniper Wolf’s body in the torture room scenes) is the re-recorded voice acting. They got nearly the entire cast to return, but either through bad direction or a lack of enthusiasm for the project their performances are phoned in, flat, and suffering from a reduced sense of emotion. It’s still the same great tale of memorable twists and fourth wall breaking moments that have been slightly modified to better fit the GameCube, it only no longer hits as hard thanks to that unfortunate flaw.
As significant as the plot was to Solid’s acclaim back in the day, its weaker delivery here isn’t enough to make me to resent this update when the gameplay improvements are so strong. The question then becomes would I recommend this over the previous iteration? That’s where things get a little complicated, since the answer is no I wouldn’t. Not on account of me viewing it as a kind of adulteration, rather concerns with the modern price of entry. On top of the 1998 release’s retro polygonal graphics and clunky mechanics remaining an huge part of why it continues to be incredibly dang charming after all these years, this version is evidently something of a collectors item nowadays. Meaning that secondhand copies can go for stupidly high. You could honestly grab the PS1 discs and the console itself together for cheaper in most instances.
If you truly don’t care what you pay though, this is still a perfectly viable and acceptable way to get your hands on Hideo Kojima’s borderline masterpiece. The hatred and negativity you’ll find for it from a very outspoken portion of the Metal Gear community is unjustified and hyperbolic. Not to mention rapidly becoming harder and harder to take seriously each passing day in our current era of remakes. I mean, I don’t see anyone upset about RE 4 2023 smoothing out the survival-horror classic and enhancing its playability. Perhaps not the most fitting comparison and it’s tough to warrant why this take would prove valuable to those already familiar with the game in its prior format, but is also perhaps more apt than many would care to admit. Regardless, my ultimate goal has been to express why I believe the views of a group that are attempting to strip this title of its merits are excessive and overly pedantic, which if I haven’t been able to do that by now then no amount of further typing or elaboration is going to help me. So in closing, all I have to say is don’t buy into the opprobrium, ‘cause bad this ain’t.
8.5/10
1990
Y'all listen up. I'm about to set the record straight. There's a lot of negativity for this game out there and a lot of blatant lies being spread about it. I’m not going to name any names, but I’ve seen people calling this a “Contra rip-off” or saying stuff like “the stealth is gone” (tell me you haven’t played Snake’s Revenge, without telling me you haven’t played Snake’s Revenge). Statements that are just factually untrue. Why though? Why is it hated to the degree that there are individuals willing to stoop as low as fabricated slander in an effort to discredit it? Well, to put it more crudely than I typically would, the only explanation I can come up with is that there’s some serious Kojima nutridding going on because this is easily, without a doubt, and by no small margin the BEST Metal Gear of its era.
You see, ol’ Hideo didn’t actually have anything to do with this. If you’ll recall, there was a port of the 1987 original MSX2 title made for the NES later that same year by a smaller studio. It was an edited, cutback version, but apparently performed strongly enough on the Western market for Konami to commission a sequel from those same people. Turns out this didn’t sit well with everyone involved, as it’s since been reported that one member of the team told the franchise’s true creator about its existence after it entered development, which inspired him to create Solid Snake and the rest of the mainline entries that followed. Yet, while this may not be the “official,” canonically recognized follow-up, it’s clear that the crew at Ultra Games learned a lot about what could and needed to be improved in its predecessor as they worked on its home console release; leading to them crafting the superior option here.
But before I get into that, I want to address these absolutely ASININE Contra comparisons (tell me you haven’t played Contra, without telling me you haven’t played Contra). Fools are spouting this nonsense because there’s the occasional 2D section. At no point though are you running and gunning through them and their level design is more akin to that of Zelda II’s than the shooter-platformer’s. To be clear, you technically can try to play these segments like a traditional action game, the same way you can technically try to play any MG like a traditional action game. You’re just setting yourself up for more frustration and pain than necessary if you do thanks to the amount of enemies that spawn in and the precious supplies you’ll use up disposing of them. So the goal in these parts continues to be: DON’T. GET. SEEN.
The rest of the adventure is the isometric stealth you’d expect and my gosh is it fantastic. You know what the worst aspect of that first installment is? Having to regularly backtrack across long stretches of previously visited locations with basically no direction. Snake’s Revenge does away with all that in favor of a more linear sense of progression that always has you going forward and never back, not entirely unlike how the later Ghost Babel would break itself up into stages (a case of real recognizing real in the development community?). So no longer after finding key card #7 will you have to leave the roof of building no. 3 to see if it maybe opens one of the six locked doors on the second floor of building no. 1 that you couldn’t enter 2 hours prior, for example. It makes a world of difference. Now you can just enjoy the core gameplay without feeling lost or confused by an overly cryptic structure. Even better is that none of the depth has been sacrificed in the process. You’re still required to make smart use of the tools at your disposal to figure out how to overcome a constant stream of clever, challenging new obstacles and that are steadily introduced.
I like this better than the actual Metal Gear 2. Right down to the presentation. The bright, colorful graphics have more pop to them and the music slaps. Not everything is perfect. It can be seriously difficult at points with imaginative bosses that deliver relentless assaults of heavy firepower, a final stretch filled with bottomless pit traps that will kill you as soon as you enter a room (thank goodness for the better checkpoint system), and a brutal timed concluding battle against the iconic bipedal tank where you have to direct remote controlled rockets through tight vent corners that close randomly to hit a small weak point on the machine’s face. All for an extremely underwhelming ending. That being said, Ultra Games saw the flaws in the OGs formula and legitimately refined it. Even the man Hideo Kojima himself has come out and paid this unfairly maligned gem compliments on two occasions years later. When that’s the case you know its detractors (who I’d wager truly haven’t ever touched this) are merely a bunch of fanboys and girls too blindly devoted to see or concede that their gaming messiah was bested at, literally, his own game.
9/10
You see, ol’ Hideo didn’t actually have anything to do with this. If you’ll recall, there was a port of the 1987 original MSX2 title made for the NES later that same year by a smaller studio. It was an edited, cutback version, but apparently performed strongly enough on the Western market for Konami to commission a sequel from those same people. Turns out this didn’t sit well with everyone involved, as it’s since been reported that one member of the team told the franchise’s true creator about its existence after it entered development, which inspired him to create Solid Snake and the rest of the mainline entries that followed. Yet, while this may not be the “official,” canonically recognized follow-up, it’s clear that the crew at Ultra Games learned a lot about what could and needed to be improved in its predecessor as they worked on its home console release; leading to them crafting the superior option here.
But before I get into that, I want to address these absolutely ASININE Contra comparisons (tell me you haven’t played Contra, without telling me you haven’t played Contra). Fools are spouting this nonsense because there’s the occasional 2D section. At no point though are you running and gunning through them and their level design is more akin to that of Zelda II’s than the shooter-platformer’s. To be clear, you technically can try to play these segments like a traditional action game, the same way you can technically try to play any MG like a traditional action game. You’re just setting yourself up for more frustration and pain than necessary if you do thanks to the amount of enemies that spawn in and the precious supplies you’ll use up disposing of them. So the goal in these parts continues to be: DON’T. GET. SEEN.
The rest of the adventure is the isometric stealth you’d expect and my gosh is it fantastic. You know what the worst aspect of that first installment is? Having to regularly backtrack across long stretches of previously visited locations with basically no direction. Snake’s Revenge does away with all that in favor of a more linear sense of progression that always has you going forward and never back, not entirely unlike how the later Ghost Babel would break itself up into stages (a case of real recognizing real in the development community?). So no longer after finding key card #7 will you have to leave the roof of building no. 3 to see if it maybe opens one of the six locked doors on the second floor of building no. 1 that you couldn’t enter 2 hours prior, for example. It makes a world of difference. Now you can just enjoy the core gameplay without feeling lost or confused by an overly cryptic structure. Even better is that none of the depth has been sacrificed in the process. You’re still required to make smart use of the tools at your disposal to figure out how to overcome a constant stream of clever, challenging new obstacles and that are steadily introduced.
I like this better than the actual Metal Gear 2. Right down to the presentation. The bright, colorful graphics have more pop to them and the music slaps. Not everything is perfect. It can be seriously difficult at points with imaginative bosses that deliver relentless assaults of heavy firepower, a final stretch filled with bottomless pit traps that will kill you as soon as you enter a room (thank goodness for the better checkpoint system), and a brutal timed concluding battle against the iconic bipedal tank where you have to direct remote controlled rockets through tight vent corners that close randomly to hit a small weak point on the machine’s face. All for an extremely underwhelming ending. That being said, Ultra Games saw the flaws in the OGs formula and legitimately refined it. Even the man Hideo Kojima himself has come out and paid this unfairly maligned gem compliments on two occasions years later. When that’s the case you know its detractors (who I’d wager truly haven’t ever touched this) are merely a bunch of fanboys and girls too blindly devoted to see or concede that their gaming messiah was bested at, literally, his own game.
9/10
2016
A Five Nights at Freddy's themed homage to JRPGs. While I fully believe the horror property’s skin was only slapped on this to drum up interest due to the even more abstract and barebones than usual storytelling that gets a little too caught up in meta self-awareness rather than developing a legitimate narrative, franchise creator Scott Cawthon did at least make it to tie into FNaF 4 in an interesting manner so that it has a bit of lore significance. Plus, it plays off of the franchise’s penchant for multiple endings and hidden secrets in novel ways to give players slightly more to do than merely engage in nonstop turn-based battles. You’re actively encouraged to investigate anything that may look out of place to uncover concealed paths through objects that aren’t as solid as they at first may seem or faux “glitches” that let you reach new areas through unconventional means to obtain powerful items.
Otherwise, it’s a constant onslaught of random encounters as you try to find your way through a variety of different zones and amass a collection of familiar animatronics to fill your party with. It can get pretty monotonous, but World does put a unique spin on its combat. When it’s time for you to select a move for one of your characters the rotation of who gets to go next never pauses. Meaning that if you take too long to make a decision your enemies’ turn will loop back around, skipping over the other three members of your team, before you even fire off your first attack, buff, or debuff. It’s a clever method of keeping you engaged in the action by forcing you to react quickly so that you’re capitalizing on that brief window of opportunity to do as much damage as possible prior to your foes’ assault. It isn’t able to prevent fights from becoming repetitive early on thanks to how you’re thrown into one every few seconds, however. So despite being a relatively short experience, I had to play it in short bursts between other titles over the course of a few months to keep the adventure from growing too mind-numbing to finish.
Yet, where I think the game’s biggest shortcoming lies is in failing to make its entire roster of nightmarish mascots useful. With a cast of 48 recognizable unlockable faces it’s only natural that some would prove more valuable than or overly similar to others, but here the vast majority of them are steadily made more irrelevant as specific abilities are blatantly required to be able to defeat the later bosses. There are a handful of skill chips and purchasable “bytes” (small robot support companions) that can give you said abilities to grant a touch more flexibility in regard to what/who all you need to bring with you into these clashes, but it’s still disappointing to see your options for a genuinely effective squad lineup shrink the further in you go. Especially since the RNG that determines when you get the chance to acquire the necessary heavy hitters could leave you feeling high and dry upon reaching these sections.
All things considered, this is a serviceable diversion for the series’ fans that’s admittedly hardly necessary and something I probably wouldn’t be rating this highly were it not completely free. It’s lacking the same depth under its simplistic surface that the scary main entries have, but is in a lot of ways a bigger overall package that offers more for the dedicated to uncover. As such, I can see the hardcore Fazbear devotees out there putting far more hours into this than a normal playthrough would take, and stands as one of the more enjoyable, if also somewhat middling installments I’ve played thus far.
7/10
Otherwise, it’s a constant onslaught of random encounters as you try to find your way through a variety of different zones and amass a collection of familiar animatronics to fill your party with. It can get pretty monotonous, but World does put a unique spin on its combat. When it’s time for you to select a move for one of your characters the rotation of who gets to go next never pauses. Meaning that if you take too long to make a decision your enemies’ turn will loop back around, skipping over the other three members of your team, before you even fire off your first attack, buff, or debuff. It’s a clever method of keeping you engaged in the action by forcing you to react quickly so that you’re capitalizing on that brief window of opportunity to do as much damage as possible prior to your foes’ assault. It isn’t able to prevent fights from becoming repetitive early on thanks to how you’re thrown into one every few seconds, however. So despite being a relatively short experience, I had to play it in short bursts between other titles over the course of a few months to keep the adventure from growing too mind-numbing to finish.
Yet, where I think the game’s biggest shortcoming lies is in failing to make its entire roster of nightmarish mascots useful. With a cast of 48 recognizable unlockable faces it’s only natural that some would prove more valuable than or overly similar to others, but here the vast majority of them are steadily made more irrelevant as specific abilities are blatantly required to be able to defeat the later bosses. There are a handful of skill chips and purchasable “bytes” (small robot support companions) that can give you said abilities to grant a touch more flexibility in regard to what/who all you need to bring with you into these clashes, but it’s still disappointing to see your options for a genuinely effective squad lineup shrink the further in you go. Especially since the RNG that determines when you get the chance to acquire the necessary heavy hitters could leave you feeling high and dry upon reaching these sections.
All things considered, this is a serviceable diversion for the series’ fans that’s admittedly hardly necessary and something I probably wouldn’t be rating this highly were it not completely free. It’s lacking the same depth under its simplistic surface that the scary main entries have, but is in a lot of ways a bigger overall package that offers more for the dedicated to uncover. As such, I can see the hardcore Fazbear devotees out there putting far more hours into this than a normal playthrough would take, and stands as one of the more enjoyable, if also somewhat middling installments I’ve played thus far.
7/10
1987
You may be struggling to imagine that there would be anything interesting to talk about in regard to a NES port for the original Metal Gear, and under normal circumstances you’d probably be right. This version is not a totally unremarkable footnote for the franchise, however. In part because said franchise might have never even existed without it (more on that in a bit…), but also due to just how much is actually changed from the MSX2 release.
Now, obviously it was going to be hard to squeeze a computer game onto Nintendo’s first home console released outside of Japan. A fact that resulted in certain bosses being removed (such as the actual freaking Metal Gear itself) and being replaced with simpler ones, on top of minor alterations to the occasional level design. Some of the differences are plain bizarre though. Like, why they went out of their way to create an entirely new opening sequence where you parachute into a jungle or turn the basements of a couple buildings into their own separate bases that you have to traverse a confusing outdoor environment of repeated screens that wasn’t present before in order to reach. The latter of which, paired with the checkpoint system now respawning you at set places based on your ranking instead of whatever elevator you last left, causes you to spend more time lost and perplexed than you already would have.
Fortunately, and perhaps shockingly, not every modification was for the worse. A few legitimately make aspects of the adventure easier, believe it or not. For example, after defeating “Shotmaker/Shotgunner” on the MSX system you’d be thrown into a giant maze where you’d be expected to punch random walls to find hidden rooms containing crucial tools, but here you’re greeted by a normal hallway where the objects you seek are locked behind typical doors. There’s still plenty of wall-punching later on, but this decision removes a lot of frustration from the early portion. You also no longer lose your items when you die, slightly lessening the sting of the aforementioned checkpoint woes and reducing the number of steps you’ll have to retrace following an untimely demise.
Overall, I’d say its distinguishing features are about 50/50 in terms of quality. For every translation issue or enemies not dropping the rare consumable upon death, you get scorpions that are easier to avoid and the ability to open secret passages without the use of precious explosives. As a result, they don’t necessarily make this any better or poorer than Kojima’s handcrafted take in my opinion. So which would I recommend then? Honestly, I’m the type who couldn’t suggest playing Metal Gear in either form, as it’s not a terribly enjoyable game no matter how you slice it thanks to its frustratingly cryptic structure and vague sense of direction (if interested, you can read this review for more on that). Yet, if you’re simply determined to I see no reason to pick this option over the official one. Why not go with the canonically recognized of the two after all?
Consequently, it’s easy to look at this for what it is, largely the exact same game with a handful of questionable unique characteristics, and dismiss it as altogether unworthy of note. Especially considering the “real” MG has since been localized and is fairly effortless to get your hands on today. Although without it the property might not have reached the Solid heights it is currently known for, so I’d argue it’s about as important as any other entry. Konami’s decision to commission Ultra Games, the devs responsible for bringing the title over to the NES, to create their own sequel is what inspired Hideo to give birth to his true follow-up and the resulting massively successful series. Therefore, while it might not be necessary or fun to go and dig up a copy for yourself, it’s pretty historically significant regardless.
5/10
Now, obviously it was going to be hard to squeeze a computer game onto Nintendo’s first home console released outside of Japan. A fact that resulted in certain bosses being removed (such as the actual freaking Metal Gear itself) and being replaced with simpler ones, on top of minor alterations to the occasional level design. Some of the differences are plain bizarre though. Like, why they went out of their way to create an entirely new opening sequence where you parachute into a jungle or turn the basements of a couple buildings into their own separate bases that you have to traverse a confusing outdoor environment of repeated screens that wasn’t present before in order to reach. The latter of which, paired with the checkpoint system now respawning you at set places based on your ranking instead of whatever elevator you last left, causes you to spend more time lost and perplexed than you already would have.
Fortunately, and perhaps shockingly, not every modification was for the worse. A few legitimately make aspects of the adventure easier, believe it or not. For example, after defeating “Shotmaker/Shotgunner” on the MSX system you’d be thrown into a giant maze where you’d be expected to punch random walls to find hidden rooms containing crucial tools, but here you’re greeted by a normal hallway where the objects you seek are locked behind typical doors. There’s still plenty of wall-punching later on, but this decision removes a lot of frustration from the early portion. You also no longer lose your items when you die, slightly lessening the sting of the aforementioned checkpoint woes and reducing the number of steps you’ll have to retrace following an untimely demise.
Overall, I’d say its distinguishing features are about 50/50 in terms of quality. For every translation issue or enemies not dropping the rare consumable upon death, you get scorpions that are easier to avoid and the ability to open secret passages without the use of precious explosives. As a result, they don’t necessarily make this any better or poorer than Kojima’s handcrafted take in my opinion. So which would I recommend then? Honestly, I’m the type who couldn’t suggest playing Metal Gear in either form, as it’s not a terribly enjoyable game no matter how you slice it thanks to its frustratingly cryptic structure and vague sense of direction (if interested, you can read this review for more on that). Yet, if you’re simply determined to I see no reason to pick this option over the official one. Why not go with the canonically recognized of the two after all?
Consequently, it’s easy to look at this for what it is, largely the exact same game with a handful of questionable unique characteristics, and dismiss it as altogether unworthy of note. Especially considering the “real” MG has since been localized and is fairly effortless to get your hands on today. Although without it the property might not have reached the Solid heights it is currently known for, so I’d argue it’s about as important as any other entry. Konami’s decision to commission Ultra Games, the devs responsible for bringing the title over to the NES, to create their own sequel is what inspired Hideo to give birth to his true follow-up and the resulting massively successful series. Therefore, while it might not be necessary or fun to go and dig up a copy for yourself, it’s pretty historically significant regardless.
5/10
2021
One almost has to feel sorry for 343 Industries. Ever since being handed the keys to Microsoft’s flagship franchise, the developer has really struggled with proving to the fanbase that they were Bungie’s rightful successors and truly know what they’re doing with the property, while also putting their own stamp on it. Halo 4 was well-received at launch and showed they at least understood what a Halo game should be, but quickly kind of faded from the collective memory of even those like myself who loved it when it first came out due to it being too similar to what came before. Guardians meanwhile, where they tried to take a more original approach, may be the most disliked entry in the entire series, spin-offs included. Perhaps that is what led to Infinite, which adopts an open-world structure, not because its makers had anything unique or innovative to bring to the table, but it being the safe route everyone is taking these days.
If I wasn’t familiar with Halo’s iconic alien and weapon designs in advance, you could have told me this was some new Far Cry set in space and I probably would have believed you. 343 brings all of this stuff like grappling hooks, upgradable equipment, boss battles (which are usually just bullet spongier versions of already bullet spongy regular foes), and enemy strongholds into the mix without any of the brand’s established personality to set it apart from the pack. As a result it sort of feels as if you’ve already played this before, and that’s because in a way you have. I honestly appreciate something along the lines of Spartan Assault more, as that managed to bring the brand’s distinctive essence over when it swapped genres.
Now, right out of the gate I’ve no doubt made it sound as if I hate this, yet that’s not quite the case. However derivative its formula is, it remains nonetheless engaging. I still found myself driven to acquire each base, rescue all of the captured marine squads, and generally just hunt down every little icon I could see on the map to complete as much as possible. It’s a satisfying process thanks to how you’re rewarded with an increased UNSC presence on “Installation 07” and a variety of steadily unlocked new toys such as guns and vehicles you can call in at any liberated outpost (it would have been nice if the pilot had the ability to drop things off to you anywhere so long as you aren’t in combat, but hey we can’t have everything). There’s a genuine sense that your efforts are rebuilding a friendly military force on a hostile world. I wish it had all actually tied into the story however, as the detached nature of these side-excursions has left the player community theorizing that Master Chief canonically never did these optional activities. Which, especially if true, causes their inclusion to come off as slightly hollow.
As for the writing, after the plot of their previous outing was universally panned 343 decided to completely change directions here via a soft reboot that basically retcons everything they had concocted prior and does almost entirely its own separate thing. Cortana and her “Created” army? Defeated offscreen (no, seriously). The Covenant? Unaccounted for. The Prometheans? Also MIA. Spartan Locke? Presumed dead. Infinite picks up literally right in the middle of a battle with a new(ish) faction called “The Banished” who you might remember from Wars 2 and largely more or less pretends all that other stuff didn’t happen. It feels as though there’s a game or two missing between this and Guardians that would have explained these developments. We do ultimately witness the necessary closure to the whole Cortana betrayal arc, the one thread they wouldn’t have been able to get away with ignoring, but the tale is needlessly confusing regardless, leaving you with questions that I’d bet 343 has NO intentions of ever answering. The perfect example of why the Halo TV show deviating so heavily from the source material is far from the affront its detractors proclaim it to be. The sole redeeming aspect is that Chief’s inner turmoil has given him some humanity. It’s simply a shame it came at the expense of his longtime AI companion who they brutally character assassinated and have since tried to replace here with a pair of annoying wannabe sidekicks. One of whom does nothing outside of whining nonstop and the other that essentially acts as an insultingly naive, childish version of her (but my LAAWWD is she caked up!).
I think it’s worth mentioning that if you decide to buy this all you’ll be paying for is the campaign as the multiplayer portion was released free-to-play and is available by itself as a separate download. Naturally, this means there’s battle pass bullcrap, and as much as I typically can’t stand that sort of dreck I will give them credit for not letting the passes expire. Whenever the next “season” rolls around the preceding one doesn’t go anywhere so those rewards don’t become forever unavailable to those jumping on late. You can even switch between whichever you want to grind at will. A nice touch. Admittedly, I’ve never been the biggest fan of Halo’s competitive half so do with the following information what you will, but I don’t think I’ll be joining matches again anytime soon. The lengthier than average time-to-kill, wildly varying effectiveness of weapons, and constant race to get the most powerful items first when they spawn strikes me as weirdly dated. Consequently, most of my time was spent in Tactical Slayer where the removal of shields and limit to a specific gun class increases both the pace and stakes while leveling the playing field. I also tended to stick with the Community Creations playlist as the smaller maps created by the fans are in my opinion better than the ones from the devs themselves (Forge is alive and well!). Brutal. Despite all I’ve wrote in this paragraph, I am willing to concede that in the end my complaints could merely be a matter of personal taste as opposed to legitimate fault, and what’s offered is a legitimate alternative to CoD/Battlefield.
While this review has been of the more critical nature, I did enjoy the weeks I’ve spent with this package. It’s just seeing the series most responsible for getting me into gaming stripped of so much of its distinguishing identity in this manner hurts a bit. The traditional linear stages were my favorite part, because even with the repetitive level design it’s where Infinite carries the same vibe and style that caused me to fall in love with the majority of its predecessors. Hence, I can’t recommend this if you’re looking for the next great Halo experience, but rather yet another solid open-world FPS. To conclude, I’ll say that with reports of trouble going on behind the scenes at Microsoft/Xbox currently and the doomsayers prophesying this to be the end of the sci-fi juggernaut, if they are in fact correct (not likely) it may not be the triumphant bang we all wanted the ride that started back in 2001 to go out on, but it is at least significantly grander than a whimper.
8/10
If I wasn’t familiar with Halo’s iconic alien and weapon designs in advance, you could have told me this was some new Far Cry set in space and I probably would have believed you. 343 brings all of this stuff like grappling hooks, upgradable equipment, boss battles (which are usually just bullet spongier versions of already bullet spongy regular foes), and enemy strongholds into the mix without any of the brand’s established personality to set it apart from the pack. As a result it sort of feels as if you’ve already played this before, and that’s because in a way you have. I honestly appreciate something along the lines of Spartan Assault more, as that managed to bring the brand’s distinctive essence over when it swapped genres.
Now, right out of the gate I’ve no doubt made it sound as if I hate this, yet that’s not quite the case. However derivative its formula is, it remains nonetheless engaging. I still found myself driven to acquire each base, rescue all of the captured marine squads, and generally just hunt down every little icon I could see on the map to complete as much as possible. It’s a satisfying process thanks to how you’re rewarded with an increased UNSC presence on “Installation 07” and a variety of steadily unlocked new toys such as guns and vehicles you can call in at any liberated outpost (it would have been nice if the pilot had the ability to drop things off to you anywhere so long as you aren’t in combat, but hey we can’t have everything). There’s a genuine sense that your efforts are rebuilding a friendly military force on a hostile world. I wish it had all actually tied into the story however, as the detached nature of these side-excursions has left the player community theorizing that Master Chief canonically never did these optional activities. Which, especially if true, causes their inclusion to come off as slightly hollow.
As for the writing, after the plot of their previous outing was universally panned 343 decided to completely change directions here via a soft reboot that basically retcons everything they had concocted prior and does almost entirely its own separate thing. Cortana and her “Created” army? Defeated offscreen (no, seriously). The Covenant? Unaccounted for. The Prometheans? Also MIA. Spartan Locke? Presumed dead. Infinite picks up literally right in the middle of a battle with a new(ish) faction called “The Banished” who you might remember from Wars 2 and largely more or less pretends all that other stuff didn’t happen. It feels as though there’s a game or two missing between this and Guardians that would have explained these developments. We do ultimately witness the necessary closure to the whole Cortana betrayal arc, the one thread they wouldn’t have been able to get away with ignoring, but the tale is needlessly confusing regardless, leaving you with questions that I’d bet 343 has NO intentions of ever answering. The perfect example of why the Halo TV show deviating so heavily from the source material is far from the affront its detractors proclaim it to be. The sole redeeming aspect is that Chief’s inner turmoil has given him some humanity. It’s simply a shame it came at the expense of his longtime AI companion who they brutally character assassinated and have since tried to replace here with a pair of annoying wannabe sidekicks. One of whom does nothing outside of whining nonstop and the other that essentially acts as an insultingly naive, childish version of her (but my LAAWWD is she caked up!).
I think it’s worth mentioning that if you decide to buy this all you’ll be paying for is the campaign as the multiplayer portion was released free-to-play and is available by itself as a separate download. Naturally, this means there’s battle pass bullcrap, and as much as I typically can’t stand that sort of dreck I will give them credit for not letting the passes expire. Whenever the next “season” rolls around the preceding one doesn’t go anywhere so those rewards don’t become forever unavailable to those jumping on late. You can even switch between whichever you want to grind at will. A nice touch. Admittedly, I’ve never been the biggest fan of Halo’s competitive half so do with the following information what you will, but I don’t think I’ll be joining matches again anytime soon. The lengthier than average time-to-kill, wildly varying effectiveness of weapons, and constant race to get the most powerful items first when they spawn strikes me as weirdly dated. Consequently, most of my time was spent in Tactical Slayer where the removal of shields and limit to a specific gun class increases both the pace and stakes while leveling the playing field. I also tended to stick with the Community Creations playlist as the smaller maps created by the fans are in my opinion better than the ones from the devs themselves (Forge is alive and well!). Brutal. Despite all I’ve wrote in this paragraph, I am willing to concede that in the end my complaints could merely be a matter of personal taste as opposed to legitimate fault, and what’s offered is a legitimate alternative to CoD/Battlefield.
While this review has been of the more critical nature, I did enjoy the weeks I’ve spent with this package. It’s just seeing the series most responsible for getting me into gaming stripped of so much of its distinguishing identity in this manner hurts a bit. The traditional linear stages were my favorite part, because even with the repetitive level design it’s where Infinite carries the same vibe and style that caused me to fall in love with the majority of its predecessors. Hence, I can’t recommend this if you’re looking for the next great Halo experience, but rather yet another solid open-world FPS. To conclude, I’ll say that with reports of trouble going on behind the scenes at Microsoft/Xbox currently and the doomsayers prophesying this to be the end of the sci-fi juggernaut, if they are in fact correct (not likely) it may not be the triumphant bang we all wanted the ride that started back in 2001 to go out on, but it is at least significantly grander than a whimper.
8/10
Unfortunately, we live in a time where high-profile games launching in terrible states riddled with bugs, glitches, or a host of other problems is the tragic norm. It’s why I’ve gone from buying cool new titles day 1 to waiting until a few months after their release before picking them up. While it always remains a black mark on their record, thanks to the magic of online patching devs can continue to support and maybe even salvage the reputation of their product long after it’s been sold to customers. We’ve seen public perception turn completely around for quite a few noteworthy names as a result of this. No Man’s Sky went from being a massive disappointment to a celebrated hit, DICE’s Battlefront II became fairly respected by the Star Wars community, and it’s like a lot of that crap with Cyberpunk 2077 never happened at all. That sort of thing hasn’t occurred yet for this compilation, which is a shame because, on Switch at least, it’s in fantastic shape now.
So this package is a trilogy of remasters for three of the most iconic entries in the GTA franchise, each from the PS2 era, with some new features added in to help modernize them a bit. Multiple control options for shooting, a weapon selection wheel that allows you to swap to specific guns easily on the fly, better vehicle handling, maps you can place markers on, and stuff like checkpoints aren’t significant enough changes to make these titles feel like radically different experiences, but are wonderful quality of life improvements that make them more playable than ever by removing a lot of their old frustrations. Not having to respawn at hospitals and buy my entire arsenal all over again after dying in a story mission for example, greatly increased the overall amount of enjoyment I got out of this.
Why the hate then? If this collection does in fact include superior versions of these retro hits, why has the reception for it been so negative? Well, the answer is it came out with roughly the same level of technical polish as Fallout 76 and a certain aforementioned CD Projekt Red adventure did. It’s really hard to enjoy something that functions about as well as a cat in a swimming pool. Luckily, it’s come a LONG way. I’ve played through this entire trio beginning to end and encountered very few issues. The ones I did were primarily visual, and extremely minor at that. Stuff like building textures a second to fully load in. Not ideal, but totally manageable and far from game-breaking. The new cartoonish graphical style also wasn’t received terribly fondly either, and while character models in San Andreas can look quite… odd, upon viewing old walkthroughs on YouTube it’s not that different from the originals so I’m left a little confused by the complaints in regard to this aspect.
With the requisite cleaning up of its more egregious faults having taken place, I believe this much maligned offering is due for a serious re-evaluation from the general public. No longer will you be assaulted by a constant bombardment of developer negligence, and that paired with assortment of new features has made it so in my mind there is currently no better option for playing these classics. You can now witness these important pieces of the open-world genre’s and the medium as a whole's history without needing to contend with the majority of the more irritatingly outdated qualities of their design you’ll find in their prior iterations. Allowing it to live up to its designation as the “Definitive” choice. Therefore, yeah everyone, I say give it the second chance it deserves.
9/10
So this package is a trilogy of remasters for three of the most iconic entries in the GTA franchise, each from the PS2 era, with some new features added in to help modernize them a bit. Multiple control options for shooting, a weapon selection wheel that allows you to swap to specific guns easily on the fly, better vehicle handling, maps you can place markers on, and stuff like checkpoints aren’t significant enough changes to make these titles feel like radically different experiences, but are wonderful quality of life improvements that make them more playable than ever by removing a lot of their old frustrations. Not having to respawn at hospitals and buy my entire arsenal all over again after dying in a story mission for example, greatly increased the overall amount of enjoyment I got out of this.
Why the hate then? If this collection does in fact include superior versions of these retro hits, why has the reception for it been so negative? Well, the answer is it came out with roughly the same level of technical polish as Fallout 76 and a certain aforementioned CD Projekt Red adventure did. It’s really hard to enjoy something that functions about as well as a cat in a swimming pool. Luckily, it’s come a LONG way. I’ve played through this entire trio beginning to end and encountered very few issues. The ones I did were primarily visual, and extremely minor at that. Stuff like building textures a second to fully load in. Not ideal, but totally manageable and far from game-breaking. The new cartoonish graphical style also wasn’t received terribly fondly either, and while character models in San Andreas can look quite… odd, upon viewing old walkthroughs on YouTube it’s not that different from the originals so I’m left a little confused by the complaints in regard to this aspect.
With the requisite cleaning up of its more egregious faults having taken place, I believe this much maligned offering is due for a serious re-evaluation from the general public. No longer will you be assaulted by a constant bombardment of developer negligence, and that paired with assortment of new features has made it so in my mind there is currently no better option for playing these classics. You can now witness these important pieces of the open-world genre’s and the medium as a whole's history without needing to contend with the majority of the more irritatingly outdated qualities of their design you’ll find in their prior iterations. Allowing it to live up to its designation as the “Definitive” choice. Therefore, yeah everyone, I say give it the second chance it deserves.
9/10
After months of playing on and off I have finally finished what many consider to be the best Grand Theft Auto. While not my personal favorite by any means, I can definitely see why people would feel that way. This is easily much more expansive and imaginative than any other entry I’ve experienced thus far. What starts off as a seemingly grounded “get out of the hood” tale goes in some surprisingly over-the-top directions as you’ll be engaging in turf battles with rival gangs one minute and raiding secret military bases to add stuff like a permanent jet pack to your arsenal the next. Its willingness to embrace a reasonable amount of absurdity without diving too far into full-on Saints Row territory is something I wish the series had stuck with for the later installments.
Initially, I wasn’t onboard with the whole “thug life,” ghetto gangbanger angle as the dialogue is all “n-word this, f-bomb that” and it gets exhausting to listen to very fast. I’ll never understand Western culture’s (America in particular) obsession with such vulgar, profanity-heavy speech. On top of the plot quickly switching gears to become a more traditional GTA affair though, Rockstar really managed to find the humanity underneath. The protagonist is just a guy trying to be there for and help his family/friends, who you’ll eventually realize when you get right down to it have each adopted this lifestyle to try and bring themselves a feeling of importance or power that they couldn’t find in their typical day-to-day. Not entirely unlike why ol’ Walter White began cooking meth in Breaking Bad.
The writing in general was ahead of its time in areas as well. For example, on the satirical side you have stuff like how “OG Loc” was basically a parody of SoundCloud rappers roughly four years before the platform was even a thing. I’m more referring to its cultural significance in this case, however. This is the story of a black man having crazy adventures with eccentric characters, owning businesses, taking on wild requests from the government, and scoring girlfriends all across the map. It’s the ultimate male fantasy a minority group can see play out through someone of their skin color, which wasn’t as common back then and especially not in such a mainstream manner. What’s more is that it comes from an era when developers could do this type of thing and the final product not be tainted with a disingenuous, self-congratulatory air that makes it clear they only did it for a pat on the back and some progressive brownie points.
Now, with the gameplay it may not look very different from the prior PS2 outings at first glance, but there were actually a lot of creative, experimental new ideas introduced here that honestly make it a little hard to believe there isn’t a IV in the title. Stealth mechanics, a Skyrim-esque RPG system where you level up skills by performing actions related to them, and the ability for your body type to radically change depending on if you lift weights or don’t watch your diet straight out of Fable. Being required to eat regularly is pointless, but it is truly strange that the majority, if not all, of these features haven’t been seen in the property since, at least not as of this review. You could definitely argue the necessity of several, but nevertheless they are one of the aspects that help give the game a vibe that distinguishes it from its siblings.
The real star of the show though is undoubtedly the mission variety. Whether it’s a hostage rescue that culminates in a katana duel on the bridge of a freighter or a citywide car chase behind the wheel of a go-kart, jobs are regularly punctuated by exciting, memorable set pieces that prevent you from ever knowing what to expect next and provide plenty of water cooler moments to talk about with your gaming buddies. Like the RC war with toy helicopters or the bank robbery alongside a familiar psychotic Latina that goes disastrously wrong, for instance. There is still the usual Rockstar bullcrap to be found such as uneven difficulty, being forced to complete tedious tasks (pilot school), and them evidently going out of their way to make the flight controls worse, but those annoyances aren’t able to totally derail the fun.
What’s more is that thanks to this “Definitive Edition” the package is more playable than ever. Out of the three installments to receive this remaster treatment, San Andreas was the one I was the most worried about beforehand. It is unmistakably the biggest of the bunch and based on what I saw the other two weren’t featured anywhere near as prominently in the glitch compilations that flooded YouTube following the trilogy’s release. Thankfully, just as the hits it comes bundled with I uncovered no significant issues. There were minor visual bugs including NPCs driving through me during cutscenes or textures taking a second to load upon exiting one that popped up every once in a while, but they were incredibly rare. In all honesty, I encountered less here than I did in Vice City: DE.
Unfortunately, it does suffer the worst from the new graphics. The cartoonish style has been a big point of contention with this compilation, but I personally haven’t had a problem with it until now. Faces can look bizarre, CJ’s head is a different tone than the rest of his body, and limbs tend to do weird things whenever the cinematics get particularly animated. It is indisputably ugly, yet that won’t stop me from declaring this as the best option for revisiting or trying this grand crime-thriller epic out for the first time, if strictly for the inclusion of checkpoints alone. Which unlike its peers are spread throughout multiple stages of the levels rather than solely at the very beginning. So if this iconic piece of gaming history is on your radar, and to be clear it absolutely should be, then I can’t recommend enough that this be the version you choose.
9/10
Initially, I wasn’t onboard with the whole “thug life,” ghetto gangbanger angle as the dialogue is all “n-word this, f-bomb that” and it gets exhausting to listen to very fast. I’ll never understand Western culture’s (America in particular) obsession with such vulgar, profanity-heavy speech. On top of the plot quickly switching gears to become a more traditional GTA affair though, Rockstar really managed to find the humanity underneath. The protagonist is just a guy trying to be there for and help his family/friends, who you’ll eventually realize when you get right down to it have each adopted this lifestyle to try and bring themselves a feeling of importance or power that they couldn’t find in their typical day-to-day. Not entirely unlike why ol’ Walter White began cooking meth in Breaking Bad.
The writing in general was ahead of its time in areas as well. For example, on the satirical side you have stuff like how “OG Loc” was basically a parody of SoundCloud rappers roughly four years before the platform was even a thing. I’m more referring to its cultural significance in this case, however. This is the story of a black man having crazy adventures with eccentric characters, owning businesses, taking on wild requests from the government, and scoring girlfriends all across the map. It’s the ultimate male fantasy a minority group can see play out through someone of their skin color, which wasn’t as common back then and especially not in such a mainstream manner. What’s more is that it comes from an era when developers could do this type of thing and the final product not be tainted with a disingenuous, self-congratulatory air that makes it clear they only did it for a pat on the back and some progressive brownie points.
Now, with the gameplay it may not look very different from the prior PS2 outings at first glance, but there were actually a lot of creative, experimental new ideas introduced here that honestly make it a little hard to believe there isn’t a IV in the title. Stealth mechanics, a Skyrim-esque RPG system where you level up skills by performing actions related to them, and the ability for your body type to radically change depending on if you lift weights or don’t watch your diet straight out of Fable. Being required to eat regularly is pointless, but it is truly strange that the majority, if not all, of these features haven’t been seen in the property since, at least not as of this review. You could definitely argue the necessity of several, but nevertheless they are one of the aspects that help give the game a vibe that distinguishes it from its siblings.
The real star of the show though is undoubtedly the mission variety. Whether it’s a hostage rescue that culminates in a katana duel on the bridge of a freighter or a citywide car chase behind the wheel of a go-kart, jobs are regularly punctuated by exciting, memorable set pieces that prevent you from ever knowing what to expect next and provide plenty of water cooler moments to talk about with your gaming buddies. Like the RC war with toy helicopters or the bank robbery alongside a familiar psychotic Latina that goes disastrously wrong, for instance. There is still the usual Rockstar bullcrap to be found such as uneven difficulty, being forced to complete tedious tasks (pilot school), and them evidently going out of their way to make the flight controls worse, but those annoyances aren’t able to totally derail the fun.
What’s more is that thanks to this “Definitive Edition” the package is more playable than ever. Out of the three installments to receive this remaster treatment, San Andreas was the one I was the most worried about beforehand. It is unmistakably the biggest of the bunch and based on what I saw the other two weren’t featured anywhere near as prominently in the glitch compilations that flooded YouTube following the trilogy’s release. Thankfully, just as the hits it comes bundled with I uncovered no significant issues. There were minor visual bugs including NPCs driving through me during cutscenes or textures taking a second to load upon exiting one that popped up every once in a while, but they were incredibly rare. In all honesty, I encountered less here than I did in Vice City: DE.
Unfortunately, it does suffer the worst from the new graphics. The cartoonish style has been a big point of contention with this compilation, but I personally haven’t had a problem with it until now. Faces can look bizarre, CJ’s head is a different tone than the rest of his body, and limbs tend to do weird things whenever the cinematics get particularly animated. It is indisputably ugly, yet that won’t stop me from declaring this as the best option for revisiting or trying this grand crime-thriller epic out for the first time, if strictly for the inclusion of checkpoints alone. Which unlike its peers are spread throughout multiple stages of the levels rather than solely at the very beginning. So if this iconic piece of gaming history is on your radar, and to be clear it absolutely should be, then I can’t recommend enough that this be the version you choose.
9/10
2010
To this day some of my fondest gaming memories have come from the Nintendo Wii. It might not have been a graphical powerhouse, but its motion controls were something special and their novelty paired with the accessibility and charm that so much of its library possessed made it the only console I could ever get the whole family together to play. Even my grandmother loved the thing! For years I haven’t seen anything that’s had quite the same ability to pull in the casual crowd the way the latest big PlayStation release will the hardcore. At least not until I got online recently, saw that people are selling their old Kinects for pretty cheap, decided to pick up one up for myself to finally check out the, like, three games on it that I was actually curious about, and got this title that I originally wasn’t even interested in bundled with it.
In case you couldn’t tell from the name, this is essentially the Xbox 360 peripheral’s equivalent of Wii Sports. Which is to say it’s a compilation of easily recognizable, popular recreational activities designed specifically to show off the hardware’s unique movement sensing/tracking capabilities. Something I think it does remarkably well! I was legitimately blown away by how accurately it could detect my actions, making every punch thrown in boxing or spike in volleyball feel reliable and precise. A far cry from what the failed Microsoft accessory’s disastrous reputation had led me to expect going into this, and that fact alongside how just about everyone will already know how each of the included amusements are supposed to be played makes the act of jumping in and immediately enjoying yourself completely effortless.
As much fun as it is to play this by yourself, and trust me it’s a blast thanks to multiple AI difficulty levels, the package’s true value only comes out when you get other people involved. That won’t be hard to do either as any bystander’s curiosity will naturally be piqued upon witnessing you clear a 7-10 split or deliver the perfect backhand topspin without a controller of some sort anywhere on your person, and have them wanting to try it out for themselves. It leads to the best kind of friendly competition, where you can delight just as much in watching your opponent’s turn as when yours finally comes back around thanks to how amusing it can be to see everyone put their all into trying to win as they steadily get more invested.
I think a smaller, but no less significant reason this is so entertaining comes in part from who developed it as well. Rare Ltd., the studio behind hits like Banjo-Kazooie and the Donkey Kong Country trilogy, were responsible for creating this and that pedigree can certainly be felt. On top of simply being incredibly well made, little touches like how you can conduct a crowd’s cheers in a stadium on one of the main menus with a wave of your arms or the snippets of licensed music that can be heard whenever you do something cool enough to be worthy of a video replay that may seem a touch superfluous at first only serve make the experience all the sweeter. Plus, they also inject a level of the British juggernaut’s personality that was, not altogether missing, but somewhat muted in their other Xbox offerings I’ve played.
It all comes together to form a game that I’m just as likely to break out at a party as I am to return to on my own for hours at a time. Free from the need of an input device beyond the camera itself, the Kinect can require a lot more physicality from you than even modern day VR technology does. Here you’ll be asked to run or jump in place, and it can make for a pretty engaging workout if you want it to be. Not to mention, included alongside the typical variety of sports are a bunch of minigames that change up the rules in creative ways, or in the case of Track & Field separate the events off individually so you don’t have to go through the whole gauntlet of them all at once. My absolute favorite aspect though is how it manages to transport me back to an era when I used to play similar themed collections with my friends or relatives, and in a manner completely devoid of wrist straps and waggle. I have yet no idea if the rest of what I’ve bought for this willfully nearly forgotten piece of the 360’s history will be as good, but whatever the case this gem alone has made me more than happy with my purchasing decision.
9/10
In case you couldn’t tell from the name, this is essentially the Xbox 360 peripheral’s equivalent of Wii Sports. Which is to say it’s a compilation of easily recognizable, popular recreational activities designed specifically to show off the hardware’s unique movement sensing/tracking capabilities. Something I think it does remarkably well! I was legitimately blown away by how accurately it could detect my actions, making every punch thrown in boxing or spike in volleyball feel reliable and precise. A far cry from what the failed Microsoft accessory’s disastrous reputation had led me to expect going into this, and that fact alongside how just about everyone will already know how each of the included amusements are supposed to be played makes the act of jumping in and immediately enjoying yourself completely effortless.
As much fun as it is to play this by yourself, and trust me it’s a blast thanks to multiple AI difficulty levels, the package’s true value only comes out when you get other people involved. That won’t be hard to do either as any bystander’s curiosity will naturally be piqued upon witnessing you clear a 7-10 split or deliver the perfect backhand topspin without a controller of some sort anywhere on your person, and have them wanting to try it out for themselves. It leads to the best kind of friendly competition, where you can delight just as much in watching your opponent’s turn as when yours finally comes back around thanks to how amusing it can be to see everyone put their all into trying to win as they steadily get more invested.
I think a smaller, but no less significant reason this is so entertaining comes in part from who developed it as well. Rare Ltd., the studio behind hits like Banjo-Kazooie and the Donkey Kong Country trilogy, were responsible for creating this and that pedigree can certainly be felt. On top of simply being incredibly well made, little touches like how you can conduct a crowd’s cheers in a stadium on one of the main menus with a wave of your arms or the snippets of licensed music that can be heard whenever you do something cool enough to be worthy of a video replay that may seem a touch superfluous at first only serve make the experience all the sweeter. Plus, they also inject a level of the British juggernaut’s personality that was, not altogether missing, but somewhat muted in their other Xbox offerings I’ve played.
It all comes together to form a game that I’m just as likely to break out at a party as I am to return to on my own for hours at a time. Free from the need of an input device beyond the camera itself, the Kinect can require a lot more physicality from you than even modern day VR technology does. Here you’ll be asked to run or jump in place, and it can make for a pretty engaging workout if you want it to be. Not to mention, included alongside the typical variety of sports are a bunch of minigames that change up the rules in creative ways, or in the case of Track & Field separate the events off individually so you don’t have to go through the whole gauntlet of them all at once. My absolute favorite aspect though is how it manages to transport me back to an era when I used to play similar themed collections with my friends or relatives, and in a manner completely devoid of wrist straps and waggle. I have yet no idea if the rest of what I’ve bought for this willfully nearly forgotten piece of the 360’s history will be as good, but whatever the case this gem alone has made me more than happy with my purchasing decision.
9/10
I was originally going to review a different game this weekend, but after randomly stumbling across the existence of this last night I knew I had to play it instead. Because seriously, WTF(ladoodle) lol? Look at that name! It sounds like it would be some fan meme crap, but it’s actually officially licensed by Sega! I was honestly so baffled until I remembered what day it was and realized this had to be some sort of early April Fools’ Day joke. To my surprise though, that only turned out to be half-true.
Let’s get this out of the way, the title is total clickbait. Nothing crazy, ridiculous, or lore breaking happens. It all plays very safely to be as canon-friendly as possible. While it’s a little disappointing that they didn’t just go full nonsense with this like I, probably foolishly, hoped they would, I still ended up having a good time with it. It’s a cute, charming, and legitimately funny visual novel that somehow manages to unironically be one of the better Sonic games I’ve played. The people behind it seriously tried to make a worthwhile addition to the franchise and they totally succeeded!
Overall, it’s pretty short clocking in at a couple of hours at most and the lack of any alternate endings means there’s no real reason to ever replay it once you’re finished outside of a quick refresher in a few years down the line. There are also some gameplay segments that consist of more than merely clicking through text scattered throughout. These are honestly pretty terrible. You’re basically just guiding Sonic down short tracks infinite runner style, dodging obstacles and trying to collect a set amount of rings before reaching the end. They suck because the keyboard controls leave a little to be desired in terms of precision and I resorted to using one of the assist features to lower the ring requirements around the midpoint of the adventure simply to hurry up and get past these parts as quickly as possible.
Ultimately however, these problems are largely offset by the fact that this was released completely for free. It’s a generous holiday gift that’s far better than it has any right to be. You can feel the care, effort, and quality that was put into it by the development team, who were clearly genuinely excited for the project (they thank Sega in the credits for letting them make it). I would truly love it if they would do more of these small, experimental surprise treats every once in a while, even if I have to pay for them here and there. There’s no reason for Sonic fans or the simply curious in general to not check this out.
GOTY 2023
8/10
Let’s get this out of the way, the title is total clickbait. Nothing crazy, ridiculous, or lore breaking happens. It all plays very safely to be as canon-friendly as possible. While it’s a little disappointing that they didn’t just go full nonsense with this like I, probably foolishly, hoped they would, I still ended up having a good time with it. It’s a cute, charming, and legitimately funny visual novel that somehow manages to unironically be one of the better Sonic games I’ve played. The people behind it seriously tried to make a worthwhile addition to the franchise and they totally succeeded!
Overall, it’s pretty short clocking in at a couple of hours at most and the lack of any alternate endings means there’s no real reason to ever replay it once you’re finished outside of a quick refresher in a few years down the line. There are also some gameplay segments that consist of more than merely clicking through text scattered throughout. These are honestly pretty terrible. You’re basically just guiding Sonic down short tracks infinite runner style, dodging obstacles and trying to collect a set amount of rings before reaching the end. They suck because the keyboard controls leave a little to be desired in terms of precision and I resorted to using one of the assist features to lower the ring requirements around the midpoint of the adventure simply to hurry up and get past these parts as quickly as possible.
Ultimately however, these problems are largely offset by the fact that this was released completely for free. It’s a generous holiday gift that’s far better than it has any right to be. You can feel the care, effort, and quality that was put into it by the development team, who were clearly genuinely excited for the project (they thank Sega in the credits for letting them make it). I would truly love it if they would do more of these small, experimental surprise treats every once in a while, even if I have to pay for them here and there. There’s no reason for Sonic fans or the simply curious in general to not check this out.
8/10
I enter another gore-streaked room. The door seals behind me and alarms blare while a voice on the PA system declares that a “hazardous anomaly” has been detected. Within seconds I’m surrounded on all sides. While I carefully plan out each shot to dismember the undead monstrosities that are quickly closing in on me a single thought enters my mind: “this is just like the Xbox 360 game!”
Few, if any, other offerings have delivered on the full potential of mobile gaming the way IronMonkey’s Dead Space did. It provided an experience nearly identical to that of which you can find on home consoles with only minor cutbacks. Perhaps it was a bit unrealistic, maybe even unreasonable, to expect the same thing from their follow up for the Mass Effect franchise. Because rather than a miniature RPG available on the go, what we got is a Gears of War-style third-person cover shooter. One that, while impressive for the hardware, fails to live up to the quality of the rest of the brand.
There are hints of the moral decision making that define its bigger siblings and will lead to a couple different endings. Almost exclusively in the form of choosing to execute that random NPC you stumbled across in a side room or not. I played through this twice to see both outcomes (as well as try out each control scheme). Neither is terribly satisfying, and oddly enough the renegade one feels like the more merciful of the two, but that’s because there’s not much going on here narratively at all. Somewhat wasting the great voice acting and sound design.
As for the action, I was surprised by how well the touchscreen controls work, encountering solely slight quibbles with weapon swapping and using biotic abilities. Level design is rather mediocre (but looks great!) and it wasn’t until I got enough credits to buy some new guns, upgrades, and biotics that battles went from being pretty dull to moderately amusing, but the arcade-esque ranking system which challenges you to use your entire arsenal so as to not kill foes in the same way more than once in a row adds a bit of life to the mix and there’s one really cool boss here.
It helps to make for a title I could see myself playing in a waiting room for a brainless distraction or something, but can’t really say is worth fans of the series going through the effort to uncover. Especially since it’s hard to find a working .apk with the necessary data that doesn’t still say it requires an additional download from a server that (understandably) appears to not be active anymore. IronMonkey definitely put on another display of technological wizardry, but even back in its day the biggest reason to play this was that completing it would grant you a few supplementary assets to help boost your “Galactic Readiness” score in ME 3, which naturally isn’t an exciting prospect anymore. Still, despite being a totally skippable side entry for the property I would rather go back to paying roughly 7 bucks for stuff like this than continue shoveling through the constant array of greedy, cookie-cutter “F2P” crap that act as the norm nowadays.
6/10
Few, if any, other offerings have delivered on the full potential of mobile gaming the way IronMonkey’s Dead Space did. It provided an experience nearly identical to that of which you can find on home consoles with only minor cutbacks. Perhaps it was a bit unrealistic, maybe even unreasonable, to expect the same thing from their follow up for the Mass Effect franchise. Because rather than a miniature RPG available on the go, what we got is a Gears of War-style third-person cover shooter. One that, while impressive for the hardware, fails to live up to the quality of the rest of the brand.
There are hints of the moral decision making that define its bigger siblings and will lead to a couple different endings. Almost exclusively in the form of choosing to execute that random NPC you stumbled across in a side room or not. I played through this twice to see both outcomes (as well as try out each control scheme). Neither is terribly satisfying, and oddly enough the renegade one feels like the more merciful of the two, but that’s because there’s not much going on here narratively at all. Somewhat wasting the great voice acting and sound design.
As for the action, I was surprised by how well the touchscreen controls work, encountering solely slight quibbles with weapon swapping and using biotic abilities. Level design is rather mediocre (but looks great!) and it wasn’t until I got enough credits to buy some new guns, upgrades, and biotics that battles went from being pretty dull to moderately amusing, but the arcade-esque ranking system which challenges you to use your entire arsenal so as to not kill foes in the same way more than once in a row adds a bit of life to the mix and there’s one really cool boss here.
It helps to make for a title I could see myself playing in a waiting room for a brainless distraction or something, but can’t really say is worth fans of the series going through the effort to uncover. Especially since it’s hard to find a working .apk with the necessary data that doesn’t still say it requires an additional download from a server that (understandably) appears to not be active anymore. IronMonkey definitely put on another display of technological wizardry, but even back in its day the biggest reason to play this was that completing it would grant you a few supplementary assets to help boost your “Galactic Readiness” score in ME 3, which naturally isn’t an exciting prospect anymore. Still, despite being a totally skippable side entry for the property I would rather go back to paying roughly 7 bucks for stuff like this than continue shoveling through the constant array of greedy, cookie-cutter “F2P” crap that act as the norm nowadays.
6/10
It would be easy to look at the negative reputation this title has and dismiss it as another one of the more insignificant, ignorable chapters in the wall-crawler’s long gaming history. Especially since Marvel’s Spider-Man released and set a new high bar for the level of quality players now expect from the hero’s open-world adventures. Writing it off entirely would be a mistake however, as after having played this for myself I can say with the utmost certainty that it was without a doubt the biggest source of inspiration for the 2018 hit. More on that in a bit though…
It’s almost hard to believe that developer Beenox could go from making one of the best Spider-Man games of all time (Shattered Dimensions) to this. Or at least it would be had they not made Edge of Time immediately after. Amazing 2 basically has the exact same problem as its predecessor, only to a much larger degree. Namely, having been rushed out to launch alongside the accompanying motion picture.
It’s not just ugly with generic placeholder fonts, menus straight out of a flash/Unity browser game, and graphics that would have looked bad on the PS3 (I got serious Magus vibes from this), but blatantly unfinished in some areas as well. The basics of web-slinging and combat work fine, yet trying to do things like transition mid-swing to wall-running or following the onscreen prompt to zip to that collectible comic book page is downright broken. The one innovative feature of a “hero/menace” system that will penalize you for not stopping random crimes around the city before they expire is honestly totally inconsequential as you can head directly to your next main objective before any penalties ever take effect and in the few instances where the story does automatically lower your reputation for you that “task force” you keep hearing will hunt you down never really bothered me. There’s clearly a final layer of polish missing on both the gameplay and presentation fronts that could have made the overall package more appealing.
Also, for a movie tie-in this has remarkably little to do with the film it’s supposedly based on. None of the actors lent their voices to the project or evidently their likenesses either as their character models look nothing like them. Plus, I highly doubt the devs were given so much as a rough first draft of the script, let alone saw any of the companion piece beforehand, because while the blockbuster’s villains do show up with similar origin stories none of its big moments are recreated here at all. Instead this does entirely its own unique thing narrative-wise. That’s not really a problem though, more just something I thought was odd enough to be worth mentioning. If anything its original tale is actually pretty good and bolstered by an appreciated surprise appearance from one of the more exciting members of Spider-Man’s extensive rogues gallery.
Although, by far the most interesting aspect of the whole experience is seeing exactly how much Insomniac’s critically acclaimed outing with the hero lifted directly from it. There’s a (sloppy) precursor for the ability to pull yourself to and perch on specific points in the environment, optional gang hideouts littered across the map, RPG mechanics complete with stuff like a skill tree, and the plot is borderline plagiarism levels of similar (a villain and a public figure team up to instill a corrupt militant presence in the city under the guise of trying to put a stop to the ever-increasing crime wave, one of Peter’s closest friends becomes a foe after losing his mind trying to stave off a looming medical condition, and symbiotes are experimented with to potentially cure a certain Osborn’s deadly illness. Sound familiar?). It’s as if they played this, saw the potential, and decided to remake it in a way.
So after all this talk, the big question is would I recommend this? The answer is no, but not for the reason you likely expect. Despite all of the aforementioned flaws, the expected mix of swinging through the air and beating up thugs Batman: Arkham-style proves mindlessly entertaining even in this incredibly jank state. Rather, it’s the price tag that’s the issue. Ever since this was removed from all digital storefronts following Activision’s license with Marvel expiring back in 2014, physical copies of the game can go for stupidly high these days. As a result I can’t suggest every Spidey fan go out and hunt one down for themselves. I do hope at least that I was able to show you how this is a bit more important, valuable, and influential than the general consensus would lead you to believe.
6/10
It’s almost hard to believe that developer Beenox could go from making one of the best Spider-Man games of all time (Shattered Dimensions) to this. Or at least it would be had they not made Edge of Time immediately after. Amazing 2 basically has the exact same problem as its predecessor, only to a much larger degree. Namely, having been rushed out to launch alongside the accompanying motion picture.
It’s not just ugly with generic placeholder fonts, menus straight out of a flash/Unity browser game, and graphics that would have looked bad on the PS3 (I got serious Magus vibes from this), but blatantly unfinished in some areas as well. The basics of web-slinging and combat work fine, yet trying to do things like transition mid-swing to wall-running or following the onscreen prompt to zip to that collectible comic book page is downright broken. The one innovative feature of a “hero/menace” system that will penalize you for not stopping random crimes around the city before they expire is honestly totally inconsequential as you can head directly to your next main objective before any penalties ever take effect and in the few instances where the story does automatically lower your reputation for you that “task force” you keep hearing will hunt you down never really bothered me. There’s clearly a final layer of polish missing on both the gameplay and presentation fronts that could have made the overall package more appealing.
Also, for a movie tie-in this has remarkably little to do with the film it’s supposedly based on. None of the actors lent their voices to the project or evidently their likenesses either as their character models look nothing like them. Plus, I highly doubt the devs were given so much as a rough first draft of the script, let alone saw any of the companion piece beforehand, because while the blockbuster’s villains do show up with similar origin stories none of its big moments are recreated here at all. Instead this does entirely its own unique thing narrative-wise. That’s not really a problem though, more just something I thought was odd enough to be worth mentioning. If anything its original tale is actually pretty good and bolstered by an appreciated surprise appearance from one of the more exciting members of Spider-Man’s extensive rogues gallery.
Although, by far the most interesting aspect of the whole experience is seeing exactly how much Insomniac’s critically acclaimed outing with the hero lifted directly from it. There’s a (sloppy) precursor for the ability to pull yourself to and perch on specific points in the environment, optional gang hideouts littered across the map, RPG mechanics complete with stuff like a skill tree, and the plot is borderline plagiarism levels of similar (a villain and a public figure team up to instill a corrupt militant presence in the city under the guise of trying to put a stop to the ever-increasing crime wave, one of Peter’s closest friends becomes a foe after losing his mind trying to stave off a looming medical condition, and symbiotes are experimented with to potentially cure a certain Osborn’s deadly illness. Sound familiar?). It’s as if they played this, saw the potential, and decided to remake it in a way.
So after all this talk, the big question is would I recommend this? The answer is no, but not for the reason you likely expect. Despite all of the aforementioned flaws, the expected mix of swinging through the air and beating up thugs Batman: Arkham-style proves mindlessly entertaining even in this incredibly jank state. Rather, it’s the price tag that’s the issue. Ever since this was removed from all digital storefronts following Activision’s license with Marvel expiring back in 2014, physical copies of the game can go for stupidly high these days. As a result I can’t suggest every Spidey fan go out and hunt one down for themselves. I do hope at least that I was able to show you how this is a bit more important, valuable, and influential than the general consensus would lead you to believe.
6/10
With the recent release of the highly controversial Hogwarts Legacy, I was reminded that I've had this unfortunate disaster sitting unfinished on one of my old cellphones for a few years now. Don't worry, this was from before all those nasty details about J.K. Rowling came out. Now, I pretty much knew where I stood on this at the time but had always intended to go back to it as some point and get a little farther along in the story before finally putting my thoughts on it out there. That was back in 2018. After leaving it untouched for so long, I decided over the past few days to pick the title up again and settle my unfinished business with it. Even starting a whole new playthrough to refresh my memory on the stuff I had forgotten. Upon revisiting the game for a bit, I think I'm at last ready to officially abandon it.
At first glance, Hogwarts Mystery looks like a dream come true. You get to make your own wizard/witch, attend classes to learn spells, form rivalries or friendships with other students, and make choices that influence aspects of the story. It's essentially the first attempt at delivering the RPG every Harry Potter fan had fantasized about. Legacy before Legacy was a thing. You can even date some of your classmates! Wait... OH NOOOOO-
So why the hate then? Well, the absolute tragedy of its existence is that there's a truly good, worthwhile game here trapped behind the most aggressive monetization scheme I've seen since EA's 2014 revival of the Dungeon Keeper property (although mercifully nowhere near that heinous). Like the vast majority of mobile offerings, that incredibly enticing price tag listing of "free" is nothing but a disappointing trap. It's not uncommon to see timers and energy systems in F2P experiences, but few have had their fun sucked out by them to the degree that this one has, and that's saying something.
You'll regularly run out of energy mid-task, be unable to complete side-quests because you're stuck waiting until you're allowed to engage in the various extracurricular activities you need to grind for the required currency or stat upgrade again, and find you can't progress the main plot anymore regardless of how full your custom character's stamina bar is thanks to a 3-hour countdown locking you out of the next chapter. It leads to this unsatisfying loop of playing for a few brief minutes and then being forced to step away for upwards of 60+. Unless you're willing to pay that is...
Naturally, the devs have given you the option to bypass as much of this downtime as you want in exchange for some of your hard-earned, real-world cash. Gee, wasn't that nice of them 🙄. Now, while always annoying, this sort of thing wouldn't necessarily be the biggest deal for a lot of other mobile titles, as by their very nature these types of experiences are designed to be played in short spurts on the go. The difference here is that the adventure is compelling enough that you genuinely won't/don't want to put it down, which on top of the frustration of having to stop before you've had your fill comes with the added detriment of making those microtransactions dangerously more enticing than they otherwise would have been. So much so in fact, that they were able to sucker $110 million out of people in less than a year and are evidently still proving profitable enough for the team at Jam City to stay on top of the updates necessary to keep this game up on the App and Google Play stores when many of its peers released around that same timeframe have long since been delisted from both.
To be completely honest, yes, you can make it through this entire thing without spending a single cent on it if you so choose. It will simply be an agonizingly long process and a largely unenjoyable test of your patience. As a result, I can't recommend doing so in the slightest. I wouldn't encourage putting any cash into it either though, and not solely due to the sins of its universe's creator. The model they've gone with here isn't just offensive because it's exploitative and manipulative, but also wholly unnecessary as well. Like, I might have actually been interested in tossing out a few bucks here or there for a cool cosmetic, unique pet, etc. had they just charged me a flat entry fee and left out all the money-grubbing bullcrap. Instead, I'm uninstalling it from my phone having not made them a penny richer and disgusted to have witnessed what could have been a legitimately good game be near-totally ruined by greed.
4/10
At first glance, Hogwarts Mystery looks like a dream come true. You get to make your own wizard/witch, attend classes to learn spells, form rivalries or friendships with other students, and make choices that influence aspects of the story. It's essentially the first attempt at delivering the RPG every Harry Potter fan had fantasized about. Legacy before Legacy was a thing. You can even date some of your classmates! Wait... OH NOOOOO-
So why the hate then? Well, the absolute tragedy of its existence is that there's a truly good, worthwhile game here trapped behind the most aggressive monetization scheme I've seen since EA's 2014 revival of the Dungeon Keeper property (although mercifully nowhere near that heinous). Like the vast majority of mobile offerings, that incredibly enticing price tag listing of "free" is nothing but a disappointing trap. It's not uncommon to see timers and energy systems in F2P experiences, but few have had their fun sucked out by them to the degree that this one has, and that's saying something.
You'll regularly run out of energy mid-task, be unable to complete side-quests because you're stuck waiting until you're allowed to engage in the various extracurricular activities you need to grind for the required currency or stat upgrade again, and find you can't progress the main plot anymore regardless of how full your custom character's stamina bar is thanks to a 3-hour countdown locking you out of the next chapter. It leads to this unsatisfying loop of playing for a few brief minutes and then being forced to step away for upwards of 60+. Unless you're willing to pay that is...
Naturally, the devs have given you the option to bypass as much of this downtime as you want in exchange for some of your hard-earned, real-world cash. Gee, wasn't that nice of them 🙄. Now, while always annoying, this sort of thing wouldn't necessarily be the biggest deal for a lot of other mobile titles, as by their very nature these types of experiences are designed to be played in short spurts on the go. The difference here is that the adventure is compelling enough that you genuinely won't/don't want to put it down, which on top of the frustration of having to stop before you've had your fill comes with the added detriment of making those microtransactions dangerously more enticing than they otherwise would have been. So much so in fact, that they were able to sucker $110 million out of people in less than a year and are evidently still proving profitable enough for the team at Jam City to stay on top of the updates necessary to keep this game up on the App and Google Play stores when many of its peers released around that same timeframe have long since been delisted from both.
To be completely honest, yes, you can make it through this entire thing without spending a single cent on it if you so choose. It will simply be an agonizingly long process and a largely unenjoyable test of your patience. As a result, I can't recommend doing so in the slightest. I wouldn't encourage putting any cash into it either though, and not solely due to the sins of its universe's creator. The model they've gone with here isn't just offensive because it's exploitative and manipulative, but also wholly unnecessary as well. Like, I might have actually been interested in tossing out a few bucks here or there for a cool cosmetic, unique pet, etc. had they just charged me a flat entry fee and left out all the money-grubbing bullcrap. Instead, I'm uninstalling it from my phone having not made them a penny richer and disgusted to have witnessed what could have been a legitimately good game be near-totally ruined by greed.
4/10
2022
Wow, I won't lie, it's been really hard to know where to begin with this one. Like, Sonic is a bizarre franchise, we can admit that right? What started off as a normal enough (for the '90s) 2D platformer about a super fast bipedal hedgehog has since evolved into a mess of weirdly dark plotlines, one-off gimmicks that include turning into a werewolf, a canon that basically treats the pre and post-voice acted versions of the character as two entirely separate beings, pseudo-villainous counterparts with penchants for gun violence, and uncomfortable attempts to establish human love interests that even the most radically devoted members of the fanbase try to pretend never happened. Plus, I don't think it's any secret that the main developer behind the property has been struggling for years now with both being able to satisfy a community that was split down the middle into "classic"/"modern" halves and subpar review scores following the transition to 3D.
Frontiers marks the return of that more self-important style of storytelling found in the series' most divisive entries, gives the longtime Sega mascot a deeper voice to make him seem older, and sees the "blue blur" battling against giant bosses in his Super Saiyan rip-off form to borderline metalcore rock tracks featuring vocals from the likes of Sleeping with Sirens frontman Kellin Quinn. All in an attempt to ape the tone of more solemn, mature open-world hits such as Shadow of the Colossus or Breath of the Wild with the hopes of capturing some of that same acclaim and I guess appealing to the more seasoned portion of its audience. Heck, the entire opening area even looks nearly identical to Death Stranding.
As deeply strange as it always is to see the cast of anthropomorphic critters be the center of such overly serious material like this, I must say I think the title mostly nails the gameplay side of things. It's not true open-world as all the different islands you'll visit act as their own maps rather than being connected together via a single large one. Instead the structure reminded me more of old school, Banjo-Kazooie-esque collect-a-thon platformers, sans the appearance of a hub world. This is one of those rare releases in the genre that manages to make the process of checking off the various objectives and distractions on your to-do list relaxing by striking a comfortable balance between providing the player with a ton of content, but not being overwhelming about it (something these type of games tend to struggle with a lot these days, looking at you Assassin's Creed) and granting them enough freedom to ignore the tasks they aren't interested in. Don't want to fight that guardian for another Portal Gear or tackle the Cyber Space missions to get some extra Vault Keys? Use Sonic's new "Cyloop" ability to uncover hidden chests or farm basic enemy spawns and acquire them that way. It basically further removes any semblance of challenge (more on that in a bit...), but the flexibility is great.
Those looking for a more traditional Sonic experience can take some comfort in the fact that there are regular stages available, but they admittedly feel kind of life an afterthought due to their brief length and, while this may offend the veterans of the fanbase, the 2D ones are easily the worst of the bunch. The overall quality of the package does also take a slight hit around the third island as level design gets noticeably sloppier, mini-bosses begin to play out more like gimmicky mini-games than actual fights, and you get forced into a mandatory sequence involving what may be the worst pinball in a video game since Duke Nukem Forever. None of this is enough to ruin the experience as about the only thing I would say the devs seriously messed up here were the RPG mechanics. Exp is so abundant I unlocked everything on the skill tree before the halfway point, and you're basically a full-on unstoppable anime protagonist from the start so you never notice any benefits from increasing your stats. Plus, the whole process of doing so is unnecessarily tedious since it requires you to amass collectables and turn them into a pair of NPCs. Strength and defense are easy enough as they have their own items associated with them and can be upgraded in bulk. Speed and ring capacity on the other hand pull from a shared supply and for whatever reason can only be improved incrementally, which leads to an irritating loop of clicking through the "Elder Koco's" dialog until you get back to the option to rank up a mere single point at a time. They really need to patch in some sort of slider here or something.
Warts aside, Frontiers is still a highly enjoyable adventure. It's not my personal favorite Sonic by any means, but stands as a great reinvention for the series regardless. One that leaves the door open for some potentially exciting avenues to be taken in the future. For example, imagine if they keep the open-world format going forward, polish up the role-playing elements, bring back the custom character creation from Forces, and add in player-choice so that you could influence the story à la Chronicles. That would be awesome! In the meantime, I found that what we have is a game that was able to keep me thoroughly engaged for the 30 or so hours, give or take, that it took to platinum it. Which proves enough for me to give it a spirited recommendation as this could very well be the long-awaited outing that will make you forgive the sins of the speedster's recent past and begin looking forward to what's on the horizon for him again.
8/10
Frontiers marks the return of that more self-important style of storytelling found in the series' most divisive entries, gives the longtime Sega mascot a deeper voice to make him seem older, and sees the "blue blur" battling against giant bosses in his Super Saiyan rip-off form to borderline metalcore rock tracks featuring vocals from the likes of Sleeping with Sirens frontman Kellin Quinn. All in an attempt to ape the tone of more solemn, mature open-world hits such as Shadow of the Colossus or Breath of the Wild with the hopes of capturing some of that same acclaim and I guess appealing to the more seasoned portion of its audience. Heck, the entire opening area even looks nearly identical to Death Stranding.
As deeply strange as it always is to see the cast of anthropomorphic critters be the center of such overly serious material like this, I must say I think the title mostly nails the gameplay side of things. It's not true open-world as all the different islands you'll visit act as their own maps rather than being connected together via a single large one. Instead the structure reminded me more of old school, Banjo-Kazooie-esque collect-a-thon platformers, sans the appearance of a hub world. This is one of those rare releases in the genre that manages to make the process of checking off the various objectives and distractions on your to-do list relaxing by striking a comfortable balance between providing the player with a ton of content, but not being overwhelming about it (something these type of games tend to struggle with a lot these days, looking at you Assassin's Creed) and granting them enough freedom to ignore the tasks they aren't interested in. Don't want to fight that guardian for another Portal Gear or tackle the Cyber Space missions to get some extra Vault Keys? Use Sonic's new "Cyloop" ability to uncover hidden chests or farm basic enemy spawns and acquire them that way. It basically further removes any semblance of challenge (more on that in a bit...), but the flexibility is great.
Those looking for a more traditional Sonic experience can take some comfort in the fact that there are regular stages available, but they admittedly feel kind of life an afterthought due to their brief length and, while this may offend the veterans of the fanbase, the 2D ones are easily the worst of the bunch. The overall quality of the package does also take a slight hit around the third island as level design gets noticeably sloppier, mini-bosses begin to play out more like gimmicky mini-games than actual fights, and you get forced into a mandatory sequence involving what may be the worst pinball in a video game since Duke Nukem Forever. None of this is enough to ruin the experience as about the only thing I would say the devs seriously messed up here were the RPG mechanics. Exp is so abundant I unlocked everything on the skill tree before the halfway point, and you're basically a full-on unstoppable anime protagonist from the start so you never notice any benefits from increasing your stats. Plus, the whole process of doing so is unnecessarily tedious since it requires you to amass collectables and turn them into a pair of NPCs. Strength and defense are easy enough as they have their own items associated with them and can be upgraded in bulk. Speed and ring capacity on the other hand pull from a shared supply and for whatever reason can only be improved incrementally, which leads to an irritating loop of clicking through the "Elder Koco's" dialog until you get back to the option to rank up a mere single point at a time. They really need to patch in some sort of slider here or something.
Warts aside, Frontiers is still a highly enjoyable adventure. It's not my personal favorite Sonic by any means, but stands as a great reinvention for the series regardless. One that leaves the door open for some potentially exciting avenues to be taken in the future. For example, imagine if they keep the open-world format going forward, polish up the role-playing elements, bring back the custom character creation from Forces, and add in player-choice so that you could influence the story à la Chronicles. That would be awesome! In the meantime, I found that what we have is a game that was able to keep me thoroughly engaged for the 30 or so hours, give or take, that it took to platinum it. Which proves enough for me to give it a spirited recommendation as this could very well be the long-awaited outing that will make you forgive the sins of the speedster's recent past and begin looking forward to what's on the horizon for him again.
8/10
2008
Dead Space is a rare, fully satisfying single-player only experience. One that nails the action-horror gameplay, if not so much the actual horror. It's actually not a scary game. Even with all of its dark corridors and grotesque monsters I never found anything here that gave me any sort of fright.
That may be a big disappointment for the horror enthusiast looking for the next thing that will scare them out of their pants, but there are still plenty of reasons to play it. For starters they nailed the atmosphere. The sense of loneliness and desperation complement the gameplay well. The sound is phenomenal and the graphics have aged remarkably well. The story doesn't evolve too much beyond it's "stranded and looking for a way out" setup, but there bits that hint at a larger mythology and what few characters there are were very well written.
When it comes to the gameplay this is some of the most satisfying action I've experienced from the horror genre. The gunplay feels great and your limited resources mean that it always feels like you're just barely scraping by. There are enough items scattered around to keep you going to the next checkpoint, but conserving your supplies is still necessary for survival.
New enemies are introduced at a steady pace. The fact that you have to target and remove their limbs in order to actually kill them means these are more than just generic bullet sponges. Add in some special powers that tie into some great puzzles and you have an experience that stays fresh and tense all the way through.
The only flaw I can find with the gameplay would be the mobility, or lack thereof. Your character "Isaac" isn't the fastest or most agile dude. This isn't a problem most of the time because you don't deal with too many enemies at once. However when the action gets more crowded and these surprisingly fast enemies have you cornered, you'll find yourself wishing Isaac would pick up the pace and get out of the way. A simple dodge-roll would have gone a long way.
For what it lacks in actual horror, it makes up for with a well-paced story and mostly excellent gameplay. It might not be scary and it does have it's frustrating moments, but for the most part this is an excellent game. One with a fairly decent length (I beat it in a little over 8 hours) and high replay value. Dead Space is worth your time, horror fan or not.
8/10
That may be a big disappointment for the horror enthusiast looking for the next thing that will scare them out of their pants, but there are still plenty of reasons to play it. For starters they nailed the atmosphere. The sense of loneliness and desperation complement the gameplay well. The sound is phenomenal and the graphics have aged remarkably well. The story doesn't evolve too much beyond it's "stranded and looking for a way out" setup, but there bits that hint at a larger mythology and what few characters there are were very well written.
When it comes to the gameplay this is some of the most satisfying action I've experienced from the horror genre. The gunplay feels great and your limited resources mean that it always feels like you're just barely scraping by. There are enough items scattered around to keep you going to the next checkpoint, but conserving your supplies is still necessary for survival.
New enemies are introduced at a steady pace. The fact that you have to target and remove their limbs in order to actually kill them means these are more than just generic bullet sponges. Add in some special powers that tie into some great puzzles and you have an experience that stays fresh and tense all the way through.
The only flaw I can find with the gameplay would be the mobility, or lack thereof. Your character "Isaac" isn't the fastest or most agile dude. This isn't a problem most of the time because you don't deal with too many enemies at once. However when the action gets more crowded and these surprisingly fast enemies have you cornered, you'll find yourself wishing Isaac would pick up the pace and get out of the way. A simple dodge-roll would have gone a long way.
For what it lacks in actual horror, it makes up for with a well-paced story and mostly excellent gameplay. It might not be scary and it does have it's frustrating moments, but for the most part this is an excellent game. One with a fairly decent length (I beat it in a little over 8 hours) and high replay value. Dead Space is worth your time, horror fan or not.
8/10
Takes a comic based on the PS1 classic and adapts it into a visual novel format with some minor animation and sound effects. No voice acting though, which would have gone a long way. Can serve as a nice, quick refresher before jumping into Sons of Liberty or something if you need one. Not sure I’d recommend making it your first introduction to the narrative though, unless you just for some reason aren’t interested in/don’t like the gameplay of the original or its remake The Twin Snakes.
I’ve seen people on here complaining about slight changes to dialogue or tweaks to some moments that were included to make them better fit the shift in mediums. Personally, I think their outrage is more than a little ridiculous. Even the added character interactions don’t do anything to significantly alter the events, and are we really going to get up upset over the differences making this a “non-canon” retelling in a franchise where greater than half of the games aren’t canon anyways?
Honestly, the biggest problem with this version of the plot is Ashley Wood’s artwork. It’s a style I’ve seen used in a lot of crime, political/governmental, or espionage thrillers that always seems to receive acclaim from whoever it is that professionally reviews comic books for a living. It’s never failed to come off as ugly to me however, looking more like rough concept sketches and scribbles than something that should have made it to print. Oh well, at least he drew Meryl in a thong for her famous underwear scene.
Kojima Productions tried to make the experience a bit more than just simply reading text by giving us the ability to scan panels at varying magnifications to uncover hidden data and objects that can be pieced together in the “Memory Building Simulation Mode” to unlock supplementary information. It’s a novel (lol) idea, but the process isn’t terribly enjoyable and the lack of any substantial reward for doing so meant I didn’t stick with it for long.
Overall, it’s a decent, solidly executed concept that’s only missing something special to really draw you in. I don’t want to be too harsh with my rating because it’s not, like, horrible or anything, but even the most devout Metal Gear fan would have a hard time calling this worthwhile. Maybe if you’re some kind of hardcore completist or whatever then give it a shot. Otherwise it’s inoffensive, but totally skippable.
6/10 - “Okay”
I’ve seen people on here complaining about slight changes to dialogue or tweaks to some moments that were included to make them better fit the shift in mediums. Personally, I think their outrage is more than a little ridiculous. Even the added character interactions don’t do anything to significantly alter the events, and are we really going to get up upset over the differences making this a “non-canon” retelling in a franchise where greater than half of the games aren’t canon anyways?
Honestly, the biggest problem with this version of the plot is Ashley Wood’s artwork. It’s a style I’ve seen used in a lot of crime, political/governmental, or espionage thrillers that always seems to receive acclaim from whoever it is that professionally reviews comic books for a living. It’s never failed to come off as ugly to me however, looking more like rough concept sketches and scribbles than something that should have made it to print. Oh well, at least he drew Meryl in a thong for her famous underwear scene.
Kojima Productions tried to make the experience a bit more than just simply reading text by giving us the ability to scan panels at varying magnifications to uncover hidden data and objects that can be pieced together in the “Memory Building Simulation Mode” to unlock supplementary information. It’s a novel (lol) idea, but the process isn’t terribly enjoyable and the lack of any substantial reward for doing so meant I didn’t stick with it for long.
Overall, it’s a decent, solidly executed concept that’s only missing something special to really draw you in. I don’t want to be too harsh with my rating because it’s not, like, horrible or anything, but even the most devout Metal Gear fan would have a hard time calling this worthwhile. Maybe if you’re some kind of hardcore completist or whatever then give it a shot. Otherwise it’s inoffensive, but totally skippable.
6/10 - “Okay”