WMStout
2012
So lazy. Textures are completely absent and the swan's model has a bit missing. The developers clearly didn't care enough to playtest their game before releasing. Makes me wonder what the industry has come to.
It's literally about a pizza shop, but they're just talking about the guards and singers the whole time? TELL ME WHAT FLAVOURS THEY HAVE
2021
Too reliant on quickly moving your mouse into the middle to be a casual solitaire game, but it's still just solitaire so it can't be action-y enough to be an action game or complex enough to be a good strategy game. In the end, it's the worst of all worlds.
In terms of difficulty, the game lets you carry about 12 gadgets that will each take down a minimum of one enemy - these gadgets refill up to full at every checkpoint where you will have had to face approximately between zero and five enemies (you can also kill enemies by shooting them or stabbing them for free).
There are multiple great multiplayer modes and some other online integrations woven throughout that have been completely disabled by Ubisoft after release - it COULD all work fine without their servers, but they didn't want it to, so the game no longer works as it should.
There are multiple great multiplayer modes and some other online integrations woven throughout that have been completely disabled by Ubisoft after release - it COULD all work fine without their servers, but they didn't want it to, so the game no longer works as it should.
2017
This could be a fun co-op puzzle game to play with friends, but unfortunately the game is 100% haunted. If you play it then ghosts will come out of your computer IRL and spook you hard-core. You'll probably get possessed or something if you play it longer than an hour but it's only like an hour long so it might be fine (if you wanna risk it).
If you want to play a co-op puzzle game I recommend Portal 2, Operation Tango, or Escape Room Simulator.
If you want to play a co-op puzzle game I recommend Portal 2, Operation Tango, or Escape Room Simulator.
This game is actually very bad, because you can't even play as a boy character! (except for the parts where you can). How am I supposed to relate to a character that isn't my favourite character? Even when you DO get to be a horrible serial killer, that's only for half the game! For the other half, you have to play as some stupid war hero that only kills bad guys. Now that's just bad game design!
A rip-off of The Last of Us except shorter (meaning it's less value for money, the most important thing).
What's the point of collecting items if the game is all linear puzzles and you don't have anything to use them on? The killing in this game isn't even funny, it's all sneaking around and using the environment so you don't really have any control over it.
What's the point of collecting items if the game is all linear puzzles and you don't have anything to use them on? The killing in this game isn't even funny, it's all sneaking around and using the environment so you don't really have any control over it.
2022
Eight games at once? Just release eight games! Better luck next time "Zach Tronics"!
2022
You'd think if they wanted to make an inferior rip-off they would have ripped-off Sniper Elite 4. Instead they decided to rip-off Metal Gear Solid V.
2013
"A movie where you can choose what happens in the movie!"
I've played every ending and made every possible choice in this game: you can't change or choose anything.
You'd think that telling one set story and doing nothing else would mean that it's at the very least a pretty good story. Or maybe a passable story. Instead it is deeply shallow and fascinatingly dull, with no interesting ideas within a hundred miles of its stench.
I've played every ending and made every possible choice in this game: you can't change or choose anything.
You'd think that telling one set story and doing nothing else would mean that it's at the very least a pretty good story. Or maybe a passable story. Instead it is deeply shallow and fascinatingly dull, with no interesting ideas within a hundred miles of its stench.
2011
If the total lack of story doesn't stumble you, the total disregard for gradated fail states will trip you up. But if you keep running with it for a few hours, you'll discover just how fun a game with only two buttons (dodge and hit) can be.
2017
This game is about hunter-gatherer types hunting giant robot dinosaurs.
"Oh! So they're all vegetarians, and they farm mushrooms or something?"
No, there's just normal animals as well sometimes.
"Oh, well the readily available construction materials must mean all their houses are made of giant robot dinosaur shells?"
No, they just live in normal huts and tents.
"Well, at least the combat must be good! Climbing around on the giants and disassembling them?"
No, they're just like normal dinosaurs except with machine guns.
If the lack of world building wasn't enough, the game spends several hours at the beginning introducing characters before promptly killing every single one of them just before the actual story starts, leaving the audience trapped with only the least developed character of them all for company: Aloy herself.
"Oh! So they're all vegetarians, and they farm mushrooms or something?"
No, there's just normal animals as well sometimes.
"Oh, well the readily available construction materials must mean all their houses are made of giant robot dinosaur shells?"
No, they just live in normal huts and tents.
"Well, at least the combat must be good! Climbing around on the giants and disassembling them?"
No, they're just like normal dinosaurs except with machine guns.
If the lack of world building wasn't enough, the game spends several hours at the beginning introducing characters before promptly killing every single one of them just before the actual story starts, leaving the audience trapped with only the least developed character of them all for company: Aloy herself.
2022
Fun fact: FromSoft has a guy working in their office who claims he can speak English. He can't, but he's too embarrassed to admit the lie. He writes all of the dialogue in their games by typing the general concepts into Grammarly so that we end up with technically grammatically correct sentences that are completely nonsensical to the player.
Elden Ring actually has a really interesting lore and world, it's just that no human on Earth actually knows what it is.
Elden Ring actually has a really interesting lore and world, it's just that no human on Earth actually knows what it is.
2018
A fantastic...ly easy game that has failed to learn several important lessons from the Arkham franchise that it's trying to rip-off: namely countering, dodging, the control scheme, and the predator/stealth system. Better luck next time, Spider-Man!
2011
Basically you pick up sand and put it back down again.
The story is you play a magic ferret to help the cheese face people to toot their horns and go in the tunnel. Thanks Eric Chahi!
The story is you play a magic ferret to help the cheese face people to toot their horns and go in the tunnel. Thanks Eric Chahi!