2011
I'm in the minority of people who think the original Portal is the better of the two games, and while this game does start to wear it's welcome thin towards the end, and thinks it's a bit funnier than it actually is (don't worry, I do too), it's still a really good time, especially with it's co-op mode.
2001
Never has a game been so excited to just be itself...
1999
You play as the least racist federal agent in the 1930s...
1999
Eno's opus. Messy, confusing, aggravating, powerful, moving and filled to the brim with both heart and hope, even when things are seemingly at their bleakest.
Didn't even get ONE crusty handjob from from Travis at the truck stop during this entire endeavor. What the fuck passes for a "Truck Driver Simulator" over there in Eastern Europe anyways?
2011
An otherwise good game (back half shits the bed, though) but Joe Biden really aught to legalize publically executing Dark Souls fans.
2004
I played this game when I was like 7 or 8 after I picked it up from a Hollywood Video barging bin, and I think the countless hours of punching half-naked hairless buff men made me gay.
Thank you, based Namco.
Thank you, based Namco.
2016
"FILTERED". My fingers dance across my offensively bright RGB mechanical keyboard. I have have typed this word and ones similar to it a thousand times. My index finger, which has become abnormally strong from repeatedly mashing R1, spins my Razer Deathadder V2 Gaming Mouse's wheel, as my bloodshot eyes do an occular assessment of various forums and web pages. I vanquish my foes in just a few characters, one by one.
My eyes then turn to the semen-encrusted poster of Miyazaki that looms above me. I am bathed in his enrapturing presence as our gazes lock. I whisper "They shall not hurt you, my beloved. They shall not defile your honor and go unpunished."
I return to my solemn duty...
My eyes then turn to the semen-encrusted poster of Miyazaki that looms above me. I am bathed in his enrapturing presence as our gazes lock. I whisper "They shall not hurt you, my beloved. They shall not defile your honor and go unpunished."
I return to my solemn duty...
2017
If you are looking for the worst way to experience Yakuza 2, look no further!
2004
This is the best DooM game. Anti-idTech 4 lobbyists have convinced people otherwise, but we know the truth...
My cousin got tonsillitis and vomited all over my room while I was playing a rented copy of this that I picked up from Hollywood Video back in 2007.
I remember nothing from this game other than that experience.
I remember nothing from this game other than that experience.
1997
#FreeMonolithProductionsfromtheWarnerBrosGulagsotheydonthavetoworkonlicensedgamesforestablishedmediapropertiesandcaninsteadworkonthingsIlike.
2003
This isn't even something that's unfun but makes for an overall compelling experience like Pathologic, it's actually just dogshit. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to your face, and you aught to distance yourself from them. You deserve better.
2009
The spider sex scene was wholly unnecessary...
1997
HOLY SHIT I FUCKING LOVE F̶͚̘̙̟̞͉̪͍̤̣͊͛͂Ḭ̶̡̜̙̯͙̦͖̪̞̘̣̦̭̋̍̀̀͆̑S̷̨̧̗̼̣͈͉̦͎̱̲̐͛̓͛̿̌̏̊͑͑͘͘̚͝Ḩ̵̩̈͑̍̕͝I̴̢͙̝͋́̈́̅͊͘͜Ń̵̯̫̣̤̍̅̏̆̿̍͛͆G̵̛̹̺̹͕̗̝͉͉̝͑̏͂̾͛̓̋̽͝