11 reviews liked by benjomint


did i grab this bc its free on steam rn? yes
do i plan on using it? probably not but now i can look at it in my library

a mature, engaging and tasteful depiction of some very heavy themes most games, especially at the time, don't even come close to matching. even playing it for the first time today it's still every bit as effective

the scenes are incredibly well shot and directed, the stilted, sort of uncanny vocal performances work wonders, and it's so well paced and told to the point that i was on the edge of my seat for basically every single cutscene, with the final act especially being probably one of the best i've ever seen in a game

my only major problem with the game is, the gameplay

not due to the tank controls or camera or combat i think those are all great, it's mostly the level design and the way the map works

you go to a variety of different areas in the game and they're all great aesthetically and atmospherically, and are home to many great scenes, but there's a lot of time dedicated to what is more or less checking lots of locked doors and opening your map to see if you're going the right way and then finding one that you can go in and there's a thingy in there so you check your map to find the door you can open which leads to another door you can open etc. and it's just a little milquetoast to me, and very stop-and-start

i think a town as malleable as silent hill could offer some more interesting level design but i could be missing the point

the final area plays with some interesting ideas such as having to explore a floor without any of your items, or seemingly normal doors that warp you somewhere else, but i feel like they're only scratching the surface of what could be done

there are some puzzles as well, some of them were good, some felt a bit irritating and esoteric to me and i had to look stuff up on occasion, though i'm willing to admit that could be due to my own impatience or stupidity, at one point i got completely stumped because i missed a wholeass giant hole in a wall

you'd think from the sounds of this i might be quite mixed on the game, but honestly none of my issues really bothered me, as there was always something that captured my interest or imagination at every turn, it is still every bit the legendary game you've always heard about

akira yamaoka is without a doubt my favorite game composer. how he can switch from nine inch nails esc industrial pounding to angelo badalamenti style guitar riffing is nothing short of a stroke of genius. his influences are fairly obvious to someone like me yet he still manages to culminate them with his own style in such a palpable way. there’s no need for me to discuss this series’ sound design at this point in time — though how yamaoka was given full control as the sole sound designer still impresses me to this day. there’s not a single sound or noise that is misplaced or sways from its intentions. this alongside the visuals are what make silent hill 2 one of my favorite atmospheres in any game. corroded corridors soaked in dry blood, fencing coated in thick rust, sewers drenched and mossed… it’s all the small consolidating details that capture the realistic horror of silent hill. when james sticks his hand down a feces and rust infested toilet accompanied by bone-chilling sloshing sounds, there’s nothing more for me to do than contort my face at the sight attempting to imagine the grotty aroma that must’ve emitted. the density of the worn-out settings, crunchy sounds, constricting camera angles, and of course depictions of illness throughout, are what make the core of silent hill 2 so tangible to me, and i’m sure others could relate. you’ve probably heard this all before told in an exceedingly poetic manner than anything i could ever write up.

Content Warning for Attempted Suicide, Terminal Illness, Death, and Chronic Illness

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It’s September 2011 and I’m seventeen years old when I try to kill myself. There are two ponds near my parent’s house. It’s like 4 AM. I like to be out this early. Nobody else is awake, and they won’t be for a while. It’s like the whole world belongs to me. I wander around between the neighborhoods, along the roads, and in the fields. In ten years these will be fresh real estate properties but today they’re still farmland. This hour and a half is the only time the anxiety quells. The real world never knows peace. There’s a dread that accompanies every action and every moment; living in that house, going to school, hanging out with my friends (are they my friends? They are but I won’t be able to understand that until I’m healthier). I’ll always have to go back home. I’ll never be able to articulate what’s happening to me. The pressure is too intense. I don’t plan it, but, the pond is right there, and it’s deep enough, and early enough that no one will hear me. Not having a plan is what saves my life. Turns out impromptu self-drownings are difficult to pull off when the water is still and not THAT deep. So, it doesn’t work, and I’m soaked, and grateful to get home and hide the evidence before my parents wake up, but I don’t feel BETTER. I feel despair, still. There’s no way out. I wish I could just climb up the stairwell, out of this. I wish I had the clarity to understand what was wrong with me.

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What do you even say about Silent Hill 2? To say that it’s one of the best video games ever made feels simultaneously obvious and like I’m underselling it, right? Fuckin, uhhhh, Resident Evil 2 is one of the best video games ever made. Ace Attorney 3 is one of the best games ever made. Come on! When we see people talk about old games that they like they’ll so often say stuff like “it holds up really well for its age” or some similar comment that implies that progress is the same as quality. This is, of course, nonsense. I wouldn’t say video games are better as a medium in 2021 than they were in 2001; on the whole and in the mainstream I would say they’re demonstrably worse in almost every way – how they look, how they sound, how they feel. Silent Hill 2 was a AAA game. What do we get now instead? Far Cry 6? The fuckin, THE MEDIUM? We’ve lost everything in pursuit of bad lighting and looking like a mediocre episode of whatever was popular on HBO three years ago. Silent Hill 2 looks great and sounds great and fuck you it plays great too it feels good and even the puzzles are MOSTLY FINE. MOSTLY. Listen I’m saying this is the all time best video game I’m not saying it fuckin ended world hunger.

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It’s October 2012, I’m nineteen and I’m sitting in a business communications class when I get the text confirmation that Sam’s brain tumor is back, again. It’s not the first time, and I know that there’s nothing left to do, he’s going to die. It’s fast, untreated. He’s one of my best friends, and the only person I know from home who went to the same college as me, but we live really far apart on a big urban campus and I haven’t seen him as much as I’d have liked to. Now he’s gonna spend the rest of his time with his family back home. When I see him next it’s at a hometown charity event for his family in December. He’s unrecognizable physically, and he can’t speak. The event is at our old catholic elementary school, in the gym, where in the years since we graduated they’ve painted a giant tiger on the wall. It’s the school mascot. I feel incredibly awkward around him and spend most of the time away with our other friends. I only speak to him briefly, and when I do it’s a stupid joke about the tiger mural. These will be my last words to him. I do know this will be the case, I think. Later that month I’ll be one of his pallbearers. I spend a lot of time angry and ashamed of myself for not being better to him, not knowing how to act or what to say. I’m about to drop out of school for reasons financial and related to my mental health.

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So what DO you say about Silent Hill 2? That it’s a masterpiece? That it’s the most well-conceived and executed video game ever made? That every detail of it dovetails into every other in a legitimately perfect cocktail story, presentation, and play? That the performances, cinematography, soundscape, all of it are untouchably top of their class? That when Mary reads the letter at the end I WEEP because it’s one of the best pieces of acting I’ve ever heard? That if I ever meet Troy Baker it’s ON SIGHT? These things are all true. We all know it. Everybody knows this. It’s Silent Hill 2.

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It’s August 2019, I’m twenty-five and I’ve just managed to graduate college in time to move to a new city with my partner as she enters her third year of medical school. That’s the year they kick you out of the classroom and you start going to the hospitals to do your real hands-on training month to month. I’m job hunting unsuccessfully and we’re living exclusively off her loans, when what seems at first like a pulled lower back muscle becomes a fruitless early morning ER trip (five hours, no results, not seen by a doctor) becomes an inability to get out of bed becomes a forced leave of absence. Without a diagnosis she can’t get disability accommodations. While on a leave of absence we can’t have her loans, and in fact we have to pay them back. We’re getting desperate, thousands of dollars in debt, and I take the first soul sucking job I can find. It takes almost a full year of visits to increasingly specialized physicians but eventually my partner is diagnosed with non radiographic axial spondyloarthritis, an extremely rare condition that culminates in the fusion of the spinal column. We can treat the pain, sort of, but it’s only a matter of time until it’s likely to evolve into a more serious condition, she’ll never have the strength or stamina she had before, and the treatment options are expensive and difficult. Her diagnosis doesn’t even officially exist as a recognized condition that people can have until September 2020.

Suddenly I am a caretaker and everything is different now. Obviously our mood is stressed from the financial dangers, but she’s in pain, terrible pain, constantly for months. She can’t sleep, she can’t eat. There’s nothing I can do. It’s exhausting to live like that. She’s depressed. On good days we try to walk outside but good days are few and far between, and grow fewer over time, and her body makes her pay for the walks. She’s on drugs, a lot of them. Do they help? It’s unclear. They don’t make her feel BETTER. Nobody knows what’s wrong with her. Her school thinks she’s faking, they’re trying to concoct ways to get her kicked out. She wants to die. It breaks my heart. She’s everything to me, all that there is. She has literally saved my life. And I can’t help her. But it’s exhausting for me too. I don’t want to admit this, not even privately, to myself. It is hard to be the person who is leaned on, especially when the person you love can’t give anything back. I’m tired. I’m not angry, and I don’t think I’m resentful. But I’m tired. I feel shame for thinking about it, for acknowledging it. I know it’s silly to feel the shame but it’s there. I do find a job eventually, thankfully, but it’s still a long time before we get a diagnosis, much less an effective treatment. Even after things settle somewhat, it’s a hard year. And there are hard times to come.

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Ever since I first played it as a teen, Silent Hill 2 is a game that has haunted me through life, like a memory. It struck a deep chord with me when I was too young for that to be fair, too young to identify why I could relate to these people and their ghosts. I used to think this was a special relationship that I had with the game, the way you kind of want to think you have these when you’re younger, but the older I get the more I recognize this as part of growing up. Silent Hill 2 doesn’t resonate with me because I’ve encountered situations in life that closely mirror that of the protagonist. I mean, Angela’s story resonates deeply with me despite little overlap in the specifics of our family traumas. Silent Hill 2 touches me – and most of us – so deeply, because it has such a keen understanding of what it feels like to be Going Through It. It is a game that knows what it is to grieve, to despair, to soak in the fog, and also, maybe, to feel a catharsis, if you’re lucky, and you do the work.

I’ve been Angela, parts of her. I’ve been Laura too. I’ve had more James in me than I would prefer. I suspect all of us have these people, these feelings in us, to some degree or another. We collect them as we get older. That’s just part of it. Silent Hill 2 isn’t a happy game, but it’s one that Gets It, and lets us explore those spaces in a safe and cathartic way. It does this about as well as any piece of media I’ve encountered, on top of being so excellent at all the cinematic and video game stuff. But that’s really what makes it what it is. The empathy, and the honesty. I think it’s beautiful.

nolan north and yuri lowenthal voice multiple characters in this

A goblin stands before me, I raise my hand and cast "Lightning Blast", critically striking the goblin for 1649 damage. All that is left of the goblin is a pile of gibs, I am very happy.

Torchlight is a pretty standard action rpg affair, I'm no expert but this game is pretty basic and the main campaign is quite short so it was fun to play over the weekend. The last area of the dungeon was pretty dreadful though!

People who do not like this game simply got filtered

Please for the love of Curien, don't play Saturn or PC releases of this game, try original arcade, even if it comes to emulation. You wouldn't regret it, playing with widescreen support and the best graphics from all versions of original thotd is a blast. Anyway, the game is still one of my favourites! The music, the B-movie horror dialogs, the designs of creatures. AM1's team cooked an amazing experience. If you really want to try a rail shooter, try this one!

Prey

2006

Those mechanics still work very coolly both in level design and visual design even today. But shooting in this game is totally shit like Quake 4, would be better if all the encounters were cut.

Chances are, if you grew up with this game it's like comfort food. Pretty good and you always enjoy it, but yeah there are better things out there. If you haven't played it but like basic jrpg's, you'll enjoy this.

This was my 2nd playthrough since 2003. Multi-classed this time and it was much more fun.

Moving on to my 1st playthrough of The Lost Age.