36 reviews liked by brambledirt


a bad story, badly told, experienced through the re-animated corpse of a video game that no longer exists. 2.0 doesn't have the dramatic and mythological death of 1.0, but as you run through silent zones all alone talking to absolutely no one, playing with skill trees balanced for an endgame four expansions away, you realise it is equally dead and gone.

mmos are social moments as much as they are video games, and the moment of time that was a realm reborn has long gone. to play it now is to simultaneously understand how a game that was heralded as the greatest redemption story in history is now seen as an albatross around ff14's neck. the half measures put in place to 'solve' this only highlight the problem more than solve it, as now it's quicker to get through, but the rhythm of the zones is absolutely killed as side quests are less than useless, the sense of space is obliterated, and the ratio of time spent watching awful cutscenes as opposed to playing the video game slides drastically in the wrong direction.

that said, the video game? is good! the world is beautiful and delightful to explore, the simplified rotations are still enjoyable and the faster levelling means you aren't taking too long between getting new skills. the lack of cross-class skills is a huge shame however and does feel like a piece of the game's soul is ripped out, the core identity of a job system streamlined away in the (probably justified) cause of endgame social convenience. but there is a joy to exploring eorzea and running dungeons that all the streamlining in the world can't kill.

the same cannot be said for the story, which is a car crash of multiple decisions made due to the reality of this game's nightmare development, that nonetheless conspire to ruin my life. cutscenes are stock animations and textboxes, so everything takes ten times too long and i can't button through fast enough. but the dialog itself has been localised by satan, so you have to slow down to read the most overwrought purple prose without tripping over it. the story is meant to be a tragic tale of struggle after a world ending calamity, but they're reusing all the assets from the last game so bahamut's casualty list is reduced to one old guy and every unnamed town NPC's entire family. it simultaneously wants to be a serious political study of navigating deep rooted conflict between nations and people, but it's also a cartoon for five year olds where the solution to every problem is "believing in hope" and you're the most special boy ever who has solved every problem look the president is here to throw you a party.

it does not work lmao. there are a few bright spots. i enjoyed a few job quests, specifically marauder and bard. rogue had a great little ending where it turned into lupin the third. the villains in gaius' tokusatsu squadron, inexplicably, all get more character work than any of the heroes despite having about two scenes each. this leads to hilarious situations where the most sympathetic characters in the game pour their heart out and make their tragic case while your guy doesn't react and silently murders them in the name of peace, because he is an mmo protagonist.

but aside from that i truly was dreading every cutscene. simply i am here to ride around on cloud's motorbike and do some damn tab targeting. and on that front it still delivers. there's even a few standout dungeons like aurum vale that has actual mechanics in the environment or the final bombastic praetorium assault. genuinely delightful moments, windows into oh right i fucking love final fantasy when the music is going off and there's an airship and also organization xiii is there for some reason.

so it is what it is. three stars. it's a video game. however mad and/or bored i got i was compelled to keep playing, because it is fun to hit a boss with DOTs. it is fun to pull like twenty guys into AOE range and feel immortal. please lower the teleport costs by the time i get to 7.0

I’m starting to think Animal Crossing might be good or somethin…

Before I get into my thoughts and opinions some quick info about my playing of this game that I think gives important context; I’ve been playing, in emulator on dolphin, since the end of January. I didn't time travel at all, I tried to avoid googling anything about the game, and I didn't interact with the e cards at all. my only source of info about the game was (mostly) a pdf scan of the Nintendo power guide.

The reason I'm letting myself write this review now is I paid off the final debt to Tom nook (the crazy bastard was buying turnips for 896 bells) today! That's really the only big completion milestone I made, I’d guess I finished about 50% of the museum and like 20% of the catalogue. I wasn't rushing any of these things, I certainly didn't try to minmax gamer strategize them either.

So, all that out of the way, man what a game! My history with animal crossing started with new leaf in middle school and then into new horizons in college, to today, still in college I guess <_<

Point is, I’m no stranger to the idea of the series slow shift away from what people really resonated with. Even with only the previous experience of NL, NH was an insane downgrade. and I've constantly heard, to the point of mocking it a bit, the idea that the series became "too nice" or something.

And now, finally having gotten fairly intimate with the series very first game, I do absolutely now think even less of NH than I did before. The core, day to day gameplay of Animal Crossing was basically already perfected here. Just at a fundamental level I booted up this game daily for completely different reasons than when I played NH every day. sure, I was checking for fossils or browsing shops every day in both, but NH daily play session is almost more comparable to doing daily quests in Fortnite than it is to my daily play sessions in Population Growing. I booted up this game just because I wanted to keep existing in its world. I wanted to walk around my town just because it felt good to walk around. I would throw fish away when the shop was closed and I couldn't sell them just so I could keep fishing.

Most of my issues with the game kinda revolve around the few ways the game didn't let me get truly immersed in it. I legitimately wanted to use the in game diary every day and was so immensely disappointed by the fact you only get one unique diary entry per month. Sure, I can just edit and keep adding to it I guess, but it just seems stupid to not let me just write daily entries. Finding out I couldn't immediately kinda took the wind out of my sails, I have to assume it's like that just because of memory card limitations or something. Still a disappointment.

Another kinda issue I had with the game was the frequency villagers move in and out. It almost felt like an emulation bug or something how every time me and my girlfriend visited towns we'd instantly swap and trade like 2 villagers at a time each. It's not like a game breaker or anything, it just kept standing out as odd every time it happened.

And admittedly, this feels a bit unfair to complain about, but the lack of fashion options in this game is crazy. I understand from a design philosophy perspective the desire to not let you change too much about your in game appearance like face/hair, I think that makes sense (ignoring the inability to choose skin tone, that’s still insane). But you couldn’t even separate hats from shirts? Umbrellas get more unique designs than clothing, it’s just bland.

But my biggest, absolutely most hated element of this game though has to do with sending letters. I won't get too into it here, it's a very new thing to me and I'm still kinda exploring how I feel and talk about it, but I did spend a lot of my playtime in this game as a method of age regression for myself. I dumped all the furniture I liked anywhere I could, I’d plant trees and flowers anywhere I could with no plan or strategy. I purposefully was playing this game like a kid and had a lot of fun doing it. And so, when I was first playing and decided to write letters to all my villagers, it was a huge fucking slap in the face for the game to tell me "uhh write with better grammar dipshit lol". I genuinely was trying to explore childish emotions and feelings writing to my villagers, only for all of them to write back telling me I was being creepy or weird and to stop writing to them.

The grammar check is just horseshit, there's no way around it for me. Even setting aside my weird ramblings about nostalgic feelings or whatever, it just sucks so much enjoyment I could've gotten from this game away from me. The difference in emotions between how much I enjoyed writing weird and silly letters to my villagers VS trying my best not to accidentally have too many short sentences is like staring down into a fucking canyon. It made me stop writing to villagers because it was a chore! My girlfriend, who was also playing along with me in the beginning, also stopped writing to his villagers because telling them you liked the tumblr comic where they ordered a yummy silly gets a response begging you to stop sending letters. I would gush to Chevre telling her how cute she is and that I loved her only for the game to respond negatively because I didn't use capital letters. It feels fucking ridiculous, like I cannot understand why they felt the need to include it. It feels so backwards for the game to almost directly encourage you to just find some basic string of letters like "A. A. A. A." to send over and over instead of ever actually writing anything. At that point, why not have the Able sisters throw out your designs if you don’t line up with the arbitrary balance of colors the game wants you to have. It feels silly for me to complain so heavily about a basic grammar check, but genuinely when I found out about this I almost stopped playing altogether. It pulled me out of the world so much and so fast I just wasn't sure I wanted to keep going.

Alright, calming down a bit, I do wanna circle back around to something I mentioned earlier, which is the notion that older animal crossing games were better because they were meaner. I just think that’s not true, like pretty straightforwardly. Population Growing is absolutely meaner to you as a player, the villagers are generally a lot ruder than anything I ever experienced in New Leaf/Horizons, and I do kinda like that. I can definitely understand long time fans of the series finding the all around sweeter/kinder tone of the new games to be boring. But I think that’s like, so much lower on the rung of issues that make the new games feel lackluster its strange to treat it like the key factor “ruining the series” (and having it sell more copies than it ever has before). Absolutely none of the dialogue in this game had me blown away or made me think that New Horizons would be better if Chevre could call you ugly, it just felt a little different. I’d say variation in types of dialogue is a lot more important, and honestly Population Growing is kind of missing the weirder, quirkier dialogue I enjoyed in the later games. It’s a balancing act and I really do think the dialogue in this is a lot more comparable in quality to later games like New Leaf than people tend to think.

Overall, it really just blew me away how much Animal Crossing kinda perfected itself first try (or like, first and half since I technically played like the third release of the game. Absolutely wild the n64 version didn’t have the museum). I think considering how easy the game is to emulate and how much content never got carried over into later entries it’s more than worth a shot today. I guess if you’re looking to play with friends this is probably the worst entry you could pick since the multiplayer features amount to “go to a friend’s town while they sit around and wait for you to stop talking to their villagers”. But assuming you’re just looking to play alone, this is an easy recommendation, regardless of past experience with the series.

This review contains spoilers

"You have died, and the Nexus has trapped your soul."

"You cannot escape the Nexus."

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CW: Brief discussion on the game's use of rape

In Elden Ring, you can never discover anything once. That was the thought that entered my head early in the experience and never quite left it. One of the most evocative parts of the game's genuinely stunning art direction is the walking cathedral, a strange and arresting colossus that stumbles across the Weeping Peninsula, each step ringing the bell that hangs beneath its torso. It was a sight of strange, beautiful magic, the kind of which these games have been good at in the past.

Except, to describe this creature in the singular would be inaccurate. Because Walking Cathedrals appear all over the world of Elden Ring, each one identical in appearance, each one performing an identical, express mechanical function for the player. This cannot be left alone as a strange, unique beast, it has to be reduced to a Type of Content a player can engage with over and over again for a characterless transaction of pure mechanics. It is the excitement of coming across something esoteric that the Souls games have made a core part of their identity, utterly commodified and made into the exact same arc that applied to Assassin's Creed the moment climbing a tower to survey the environment and taking a leap of faith into a haystack below shifted from an exciting and evocative moment into a rote and tiresome mechanical interaction.

Because, that's right everyone, Dark Souls Is Now Open World. Not an open world in the same way that Demon's Souls, Dark Souls, or Dark Souls II were, where you could freely venture down different paths to different bosses and take things in an order outside of the game's expected leveling curve. No, this is an Open World as we understand it today: an enormous ocean of discrete repeated Activities dotted with islands of meaningful bespoke design. There's plenty of stuff to do in this world, but it's all of a specific type - in a catacomb you will navigate stone gargoyles and chalice dungeon designs to a lever that will open a door near the entrance that will contain a boss that you've likely found elsewhere in the world, and will be filled with stone gargoyles. Mines will be filled with mining rock-people and upgrade materials. Towers will have you find three spectral creatures around them in order to open them up and obtain a new Memory Slot. Camps will contain a patrolling enemy type and some loot. Even genuinely enchanting vistas and environments get their space to be repeated in slight variations. Boss battles too will be repeated endlessly, time and time again, with delightful designs like the Watchdog tragically becoming something I sighed and was annoyed to see crop up half-a-dozen times over the course of the adventure, and I was truly, deeply annoyed at fighting no less than about ten or twelve Erdtree Avatars and Dragons, with whom the moves never change and the fight plays out the exact same way every single time.

The first time I discovered these things, I was surprised, delighted even, but by even the second time, the truth that these are copied-and-pasted across the entirety of the Lands Between in order to pad it out became readily apparent, and eventually worn away even the enthusiasm of that first encounter. When I look back on my genuine enjoyment of the first battle with the Erdtree Avatar, I can only feel like an idiot for not realizing that this fight would be repeated verbatim over and over and become less fun every single time. When you've seen one, you've really seen all of them, and this means that by the time you leave Limgrave, you've already seen everything the Open World has to offer.

This is, of course, to be expected. Open world games simply have to do this. They are an enormous effort to bring into life, and the realities of game production mean that unless you're willing to spend decades on one game, you're going to have to be thrifty with how you produce content. I expect this, I understand this. Fallout: New Vegas is probably my favorite Open World game, but its world is also filled with this template design. But what's to be gained from this in a Dark Souls game? Unlike contemporaries like Breath of the Wild, your verbs of interaction in these games are frighteningly limited, with almost all of the experience boiling down to fighting enemies, and without a variety of interactions, the lack of variety in the huge amounts of content stands out all the more. Does fighting the same boss over and over and traversing the same cave over and over make Souls better? Even if you choose to just ignore all of these parts of the Open World (which is far easier said than done, as due to a very harsh leveling curve and the scarcity of crucial weapon upgrade materials outside of The Mines, the game's design absolutely pushes towards you engaging in these repetitious activities), the Legacy Dungeons that comprise the game's bespoke content are functionally completely separate from the Open World, with not even your Horse permitted to enter. This is no Burnout: Paradise or Xenoblade Chronicles X, which retooled the core gameplay loop to one where the open world was absolutely core to the design: this is a series of middling Dark Souls levels scattered among an open world no different from games like Far Cry or Horizon: Zero Dawn that many Souls fans have historically looked down on, and the game is only worse for it.

NPC storylines in particular suffer massively, as the chances of you stumbling upon these characters, already often quite annoying in past games, are so low as to practically require a wiki if you want to see the end of multiple questlines. However, that assumes that you will want to see the end of these stories and that you are invested in this world, and I decidedly Was Not. Souls games have always had suspect things in them that have gone largely uninterrogated but Elden Ring really brings that ugliness to the surface, with rape being an annoyingly present aspect of the backstories of many characters, and even having multiple characters threaten to rape you, none of which is deployed in a way that is meaningful and is just insufferable edgelord fantasy writing, and the same could be said of the grimdark incest-laden backstory, the deeply suspect trans panic writing surrounding one of the characters, and the enthusiastic use of Fantasy Racism tropes in the form of the Demi-Humans. I remain convinced that George RR Martin's involvement in this game was little more than a cynical publicity stunt, but certainly the game's writing indulges in many of that man's worst excesses, whilst having almost none of his strengths.

None of this is to say that Elden Ring is devoid of enjoyment. While the fact that it did hit just in time for a manic-depressive mood that made me perfectly suited to play a game I could just mindlessly play for a couple of weeks, I did see it through to the end in that time, even if I did rush to the end after a certain point. From Software's artists remain some of the best in the industry, with some incredible environments and boss designs that deserve Olympic gold medals for how much heavy-lifting they're doing to keep the experience afloat. I loved being kidnapped by chests into other parts of the world, and I wish it happened more than a couple of front-loaded times. But the enjoyment I had in it never felt like stemmed from the open world, and even its highest points don't hang with the best bits of the prior installments. Stormveil is probably the level design highlight of the game but it already fades from my mind in comparison to the likes of Central Yharnam or the Undead Burg or the Dragon Shrine. Indeed, the fact that they exist as islands in an ocean of vacuous space between them precludes the so-called "Legacy Dungeons" of this game from having the satisfying loops and interconnections that are often the design highlights of prior entries. The bosses are a seriously uneven mixed bag as well; even setting aside the repetition, as the nasty trend of overturned bosses that started in Dark Souls III rears its unfortunate head again. The superboss Melania is an interesting design utterly ruined by her obscene damage output, and my personal highlight of the game, Starscourge Radagon, who is the only boss fight that felt like it played to the things that Elden Ring brought to the table, and is a moment among the series that the game can truly claim as it's very own...but the tuning of the fight prevented it from being the triumphant coming-together moment that it is clearly attempting for many of my friends, who left the fight feeling that it was just annoying and tedious. Modern From Software could never make a fight like Maiden Astrea again because they'd insist on making her really hard in a way that actively detracts from the emotional experience in the fight. Boss fights can be about more than just providing a challenge, and I think From has forgotten that.

Taken as a series of its legacy dungeons, of its finest moments, I think Elden Ring would only be a middling one of these games. The additions to the formula feel anemic and unbalanced, the multiplayer implementation is honestly a quite considerable step back from prior games (the decision to have the majority of invasions only occur during co-operation feels like an attempt to weed out trolls picking on weaker players but in reality what it does is make equal fights are next-to-impossible and put Seal-Clubbers in a place where they are the only players who can effectively invade, a completely baffling decision), but it's really the open world I keep coming back to as the reason this game doesn't work. Not only does it add nothing that wasn't already present in better ways in prior games, but it actively detracts from the experience. The promise of the Open World is one of discovery, of setting off in uncharted directions and finding something new, but do Open Worlds actually facilitate this any better than more linear games? I don't know if they do. I felt a sense of discovery and finding something in so many of these games, even the most linear ones, and felt it stronger because the game was able to use careful, meticulous level design to bring out those emotions. Walking out of a cave and seeing Irithyll of the Boreal Valley, or Dead Man's Wharf stretch out before me, were moments of genuine discovery, and they would not be improved if I found six more Dead Man's Wharfs throughout the game. Contrary to their promise, in my experience, the open world, rather than create a sense of discovery, undermine it due to the compromises necessary to create these worlds. All the openness does for your discoveries is let you approach them from a slightly different angle as everyone else.

That is, if you can even claim to have discovered anything in the first place. To call Elden Ring derivative of prior games in this milieu would be a gross understatement. I am far from the first person to note that the game's much-hyped worldbuilding is largely content to regurgitate Souls Tropes with the Proper Nouns replaced with much worse ones, but it goes beyond that - entire questlines, plot beats, character arcs, dungeon designs, enemies, and bosses are lifted wholesale from prior games practically verbatim. More often than not Elden Ring feels closer to a Greatest Hits album than a coherent piece in and of itself, a soulless and cynical repackaging of prior Souls Classics, irrevocably damaged by being torn from the original context from which they belonged. I'm not a fan of Dark Souls III, in part because it too is also a game that leans on repetition of prior games, but at the very least the game was about those repetitions, where yes, old areas and characters would be repeated, but at least it was thematically resonant with what the game was doing. Elden Ring can't even claim that. Whatever this shallow mess of a narrative, easily the worst of the franchise thus far by my reckoning, is going for, it is done no favors by being this stitched-together Frankenstein of Souls.

I was particularly shocked by the sheer ferocity with which the game steals from the fan-favorite Bloodborne. Quick, tell me if you've heard this one before: you encounter a hunched, bestial foe, who fights you with their fists, but once you get their health halfway down, the battle stops, a cutscene plays, where they speak coherently, summon a blade from their past, and stand with their former dignity restored, the music changes, and their name is revealed to be "X the Y Blade". Or what about a hub area, separated in its own liminal space from the rest of the map, that can be discovered in its True Form in the material world? What about when that hub area is wreathed in spectral flame and begins to burn as the final hours of the game is nigh? These are far from the only examples, as there are multiple enemies and ideas throughout the game that are shamelessly lifted from my personal favorite From Software effort, but these stand out as the most noxious of all, as they simply repeat beats that were effective in the game they originated from because the game was able to build to them and have them resonate with the rest of the experience. You cannot just graft things whole cloth from prior work onto a new one and expect it to work as a coherent piece, the very prospect is ridiculous.

When Elden Ring did all this, my jaw about hit the floor from the sheer unmitigated gall. When it chose to conclude itself with a straight-faced Moon Presence reference, complete with an arena that directly evokes the Hunter's Dream, I just had to laugh. The final statement the game made on itself, the bullet point it chose to put on the experience, was "Remember Bloodborne? That was good, wasn't it?" Because in many ways, that really was a perfect conclusion to this game.

While it would be a mistake to claim, as people seem increasingly eager to, that Souls emerged entirely out of the magical ocean that is Hidetaka Miyazaki's unparalleled genius or whatever, as these games have always drawn heavy inspiration from properties like Berserk, Book of the New Sun, and The Legend of Zelda, and were built on top of a framework clearly established by past Fromsoft series King's Field, the reason I think that myself and many others were initially enthralled by the promise of Demon's Souls or Dark Souls was because they were decidedly different. Their esoterica, willingness to buck modern design conventions and hugely evocative online elements were why these games set imaginations alight so strongly, and proved enormously influential for the past decade of game design.

Demon's Souls felt like something new. And while successive games in this series have felt far less fresh, none of them have felt as utterly exhausted as Elden Ring: a final statement from the designers and writers at From Software that they have officially Ran Out of Ideas, that the well has long gone dry, that all they can do is to hastily staple on the modern design trends they once rejected onto a formula that does not gel with them, and that they are wandering without life through a never-ending cycle of their own creation, branded by the Darksign. Perhaps it's no surprise that their least inventive, least consistent, and least creative game since Demon's Souls is also by far their most successful. Once From Software defied conventions and trends, and now, they are consumed by them.

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"You have died, and the Nexus has trapped your soul."

"You cannot escape the Nexus."

Basically a midpoint for my quest to play every Pokemon game in release order. After getting through Platinum, this felt like a very fun final iteration on the same mechanics. Really did enjoy the story, and Castelia city was massive and amazing to walk through. Some of the coolest Pokemon designs, too. Love Litwick.

reverse horror, the promise, is only delivered insofar as you are monster. and do kill people. there’s hardly any friction, no tension- it’s too frenetic to let you revel in the catharsis of slinking through shadows, slowly picking off each person one by one, reclaiming your own

I have never been into Pokémon, I was the person who was mystified by other people's obsession with it as a kid, as everyone around me grew up playing Pokémon Crystal and Emerald, I simply watched. I got into RPGs through games like Dragon Quest VIII on the Playstation 2 so by the time I tried to play them later in life I wasn't impressed, Pokémon's brand of monster collecting RPGs wasn't for me, I thought, and I'd rather be playing Dragon Quest Monsters or SMT if I wanted a fix of that.

Not that long ago I gave Pokémon Red a shot and I found it interesting from a historical perspective, as it's a game that heavily borrows from older RPGs in terms of structure, you can see games like DQ3 influencing how it was designed, but I found it that, mearly interesting, as a game it was just fine. I felt similar with Emerald when I played it last year, it's a fine game that I didn't actually connect with on a personal level any deeper than "it's kinda fun in the moment to moment".

This game, Pokémon Violet, is the first time I have actually connected with a game on this franchise on any level deeper than that. Not only is the gameplay much improved but I actually like the cast of characters and exploration that the more open formula gives it. The game is buggy but I didn't really care aside from the occasional funny visual glitch. I was invested and I was having fun, meeting all these characters and building my team, which is something I seldom engaged with in previous games, I just didn't feel the games were compelling enough to bother. I know some older fans may disagree but since I've never liked Pokemon mostly 1 vs 1 combat system (I thought it was something we better left as an archaic remnant in games like Dragon Quest 1) I think sharing experience with your entire team is a really good move that the newer games do, it incentivizes me to actually use all my Pokémon more, and since I can't have a "in battle party" like in most RPGs, I see my entire team as my "active party" and as such all of them gaining experince feels fair to me.

Anyway. I don't actually have that much to say about it, it was more of a catalogue of my personal story with these games than a review. Good game. I love Penny.

Interesting experiment of a game visually, but not much gameplay-wise. It also has some interesting character moments but they don't develop into anything meaningful.

Thankfully it's the perfect length at about 3 hours. I think I mostly appreciated the intention of making something gross and very maximalist in its visuals.

you play the base game and think it's the best thing ever and then you play this and realize there's a best thing ever part 2

my favorite piece of media ever i cannot overstate how good it is

haters are mad because they don't support transmasc absent fathers