Have so much to say but I can't write much. Have so much to express but I can't find the words. Have so much to elaborate but I don't have the energy. Have so much to expound but I can't be able to convey them.

I became conscious of death when my grandmother had passed, but it wasn't until my grandfather went away a few years after I fully became inundated as to what it meant. I can't think of many people as integral to my well being and personality as they were. I cannot recall a time where I wasn't thinking about that stark, orange colored block of a hospital room where the latter had laid, unknowing it would be the last I would ever see of him. I cannot recall a time where death wasn't something I had feared, an abstraction lay unto forces beyond my control, surrounding me so sickly as I continue to grow older. I was lost during my twilight years in high school where I was slowly accustoming into what adulthood would become like. Even now, it haunts me.

"...I finally began to understand...what it means to live... Thinking for yourself... Not running away... Accepting the inevitable... All things eventually come to an end... Every living thing will one day disappear... Only by accepting this can one discover what they truly want... What the meaning of their life will be..."

I wouldn't say Persona 3 was an answer I needed to these fears, but it helped a lot. It was the first game I had ever purchased second handed, and I remembered just the bare minimum when going into it after seeing an LP. A lot of people postured it as a game exploring death, but it's more about the examinations of life as we know it. Death is constant, but it isn't the weight. Turmoil is abundant, but it shouldn't be the reason for demise. Jealousy and apathy are thorns, which is why compassion and hope for tomorrow need to be accentuated now more than ever. Your actions to the other, no matter how insignificant it may be, can blossom and (re-)kindle something into the heart that they may have forgotten. You are your own person, even as you masquerade various personas in multiple conversations and meetups. You are the pillar and support for people, even if you never realize it.

"I decided that I would continue to protect you. I want to be your strength. I know I'm not the only one who can do this... but that's okay... My life will be worth living if it's for this reason... Thank you..."'

Both FES and Reload's combat mechanics are great to me. Though the AI tactic configuration is but a mere husk of its former design principle, stripped to bareness in each subsequent entry as any nuances and underlying appeal have since dissipated, leaving behind a set of reductions and glaring blemishes that, cumulatively, makes the initial appearance seem worse than it actually was - of which someone’s already making sure to right this wrong, I garnered some enjoyment from it regardless. Theurgy wasn't as intrusive as I had thought it was, instead an extension of person's psyche as well as the idea that the power we wield can be used to secure a better tomorrow. It’s been mocked as “cope” to say the old approach was an intentional decision behind the gameplay, but well, a collective interview between various Double Jump board users and Atlus when 4 was coming out has shown that’s just the truth indeed, and I find merit in how that form factor escalates into the feeling of a group coming together and bonding further and further into becoming a simple family. The relationship between Tartarus Guardians and Full Moon Shadows are intrinsically tied, but now reversed - you are no longer gauging the Dark Arcanas as a check for the Guardians' enforcement atop the higher floors, but are instead compartmentalizing the Guardians in an effort to combat the ephemeral being that can't and won't understand you. It's good. It's cyclical. It's the reverse of the cards we all face at some point.

"You don't have to save the world to find meaning in life... Sometimes all you need is something simple, like someone to take care of. I'll keep on living no matter what , so that I can protect you..."

I don't think this is entirely perfect. I actually much prefer the old Tartarus structure since this one is made much more convenient, and I don't agree with the false notion that the party system was archaic even if I understand not everyone will like it regardless. The presentation has some nice flourishes but, especially in the animation department, there are placements and alterations made that took me away from the intended effect. I also find it incredibly suspect that The Answer has been announced of a faux "expansion pass" relatively sooner than expected with two other "pre order bonus" ass costume DLCs preceding it, all without word on FeMC. At the end of it all, I still find FES to be the experience I'd attain whenever I want to revisit this world. Yet, I am content. It's one of very few things in fiction that has brought me to tears. It was wonderful to revisit this story (twice, even, since I replayed FES beforehand). If it means more people can experience this masterpiece, then so be it. Just another face for the fool to don as it shows itself onto the public.

"You can close your eyes. I'll always remain here by your side."

This was awful wtf

So, Mania's strengths come from being a celebration of Classic Sonic's greatest hits, and then building off that. I had this expectation in my head that Superstars could be similar, but not from standpoint of celebrating Sonic itself, but the people who contribute to it - a new title across two developers with a soundtrack featuring old and new artists across the series. Even if the weak links refused to bring their best game (cough cough), there would be something creatively valuable about the grab-bag nature of the final product. And even if it wasn't complex or cinematic in the way 3K and Mania are, it could still be a nice comfort food game, like the 8-bit titles.

The first four zones of Superstars are good, with only a few hangups. And then Lagoon City hits, and the money runs out HARD. The visuals lose all their post-production VFX and lush topology, leaving a naked 3D tilemap and a ugly blurry skybox behind. The level design drops from that golden balance of rolling hills to fangame-tier boxy rooms with nothing but moving platforms and instant death crushers. The 2.5D loops from Bridge Island disappear for the rest of the game until Frozen Base for some reason. The already-sluggish bosses turn into auto-scrollers, the already-terrible boss theme gets replaced with the most embarrassing try-hard drivel I've heard in my life, level mechanics that were already stolen from other Sonic games start getting re-used in later levels (there are FIVE acts in this game with pinball mechanics), and so on.

And I have a right mind to blame Arzest for this side of the shit, cause everything in this game that feels miserable is a flavor they would've saved for whatever shovelware Nintendo would commission them for. The auto-scrollers, earthquake effects that are visually disconnected from the foreground playfield, the re-using mechanics across zones to pad out time, the random shmup section (i say this out of hyperbole but fr the fantasy zone reference is really cute), a final zone that makes you play the same act twice in reverse - tell me this isn't shit that would pop up in a no-name Yoshi outing. I'm a firm believer Sonic needs to diversify its inspirations if it wants to keep flourishing as a franchise, but all of these ideas feel totally incompatible with the structure, expected length and flow of a Sonic game, let alone one with consistently middling/bad level design. The only thing I can't hold against them, is knowing that even if they had better ideas, Sega-Sammy wouldn't have given them the resources to fully-realize it anyway.

If I can be generous, I'll rapid fire a few things I like:
+The snake that weaves across all of Sand Sanctuary is super cool, def my favorite new stage gimmick
+Emerald powers are a great new concept, they just need to replace the overly-context-sensitive ones. Fire/Timestop/Clones/Vines can stay, Vision/Water can go
+Trip's cute and really fun to play as and I look forward to fans injecting her into a better game

(side note - out of all of Jun's songs, most songs with good melodies are arranged mostly fine here (i like sky temple and press factory 1), and the ones that sound like ass aren't good compositions in the first place, so, my condolences to fan remixers trying and failing to salvage them)

Maybe I would've liked this more if I played it at a different time. I'm working on a vaguely Sonic-styled platformer as I write this, and who's to say that's not making me pickier about what 'belongs' in a game like this. I look at 3K, and I look at the sense of impact and propulsion that goes on in the balancing act of automation and platforming, and I really want to replicate that in a different structural context - so when I play this, and that philosophy is absent, it pisses me off. I could easily see myself replaying this in 2-3 years and coming out with a glowing smile.

But on the other hand, everything I liked here is done equally good in other Sonic games too.

And sixty fucking dollars holy SHIT-

Coming to this after growing up on Pikmin 2 and 3 was harrowing - Pikmin AI is borderline nonfunctional, their capacity to take any initiative without your direct babysitting is obscene. Every enemy encounter is ruthless, something as mundane as a Bulburb can rinse 9-15 of your troops if you do anything less than completely dogpiling it. There's very specific quirks and annoyances that don't even feel like the result of its time, but intentional choices to make the world feel more hostile and out of your control.

But I liked it for that really. You gotta corral the pikmin around as if they were dawdling ankle-biters and you're a begrudging parental figure. Olimar says as much in one of the travel logs. And as any responsible father should, I took immense pride when my dumb idiot gremlins somehow completed their menial labor without falling in a lake.

The Children Yearn For The Mines.

adding on to this as i complete routes (2 to go now)
Arcueid Route
I'd actually read this one already around 3 years ago after playing melty and wanting to know more about the characters. Despite that I still felt hooked to it and didn't take any issue with going through it again, and still got the same emotional response as I had before. love arc love shiki love nrvnqsr love roa all cool dudes
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Ciel Route
Felt like this one dragged early on with the amount of rereading involved but once it split off more I found myself really liking it and the increased horror focus with Roa now feeling like a genuinely scary threat whilst attempting to take control of Shiki as well as the constant false hopes Shiki would receive up until the end. As it is now though between her, Arc, and Akiha's routes I think she has my least favorite of them.
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Akiha Route
This is an odd one since as I read it it felt less like a single complete story and more like 2 short stories stapled together, one with Satsuki in the first half and Akiha in the latter. While this may be due to me using a guide for the choices I didn't actually take much issue with it as I still really enjoyed both of these stories and with Akiha's route having what is currently my favorite climax and finale of the 3 I've read. In particular I really appreciate how both endings feel like proper conclusions to the route, while in the previous routes I only especially loved Arc's true ending and felt that the good endings didn't really act as conclusions to the route's, though of course I imagine they weren't meant to be given the distinction of being Good instead of True.
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Hisui Route
dude holy fukcing shit
post kohaku edit:
Honestly, I'm still not sure how to phrase my feelings toward Hisui route, I enjoyed it of course but that ending wiped damn near any higher thoughts from me. I think Shiki's mental decay was done best here and the endings were good conclusions. I'd seen someone say that Kohaku's good ending feels like a cop-out but I think that the complete loss of someone's memories even if it makes them seem happier as a result is still a tragedy on its own as it's close to erasing the original person, leaving something like a shell, only with the opportunity to fill said empty shell. Either way much better than the other good endings as an actual conclusion.
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Kohaku Route:
This is it. This is the end. At the moment of reading I felt that Akiha's position in the climax was resolved a little too quickly but on further thought its alright. Besides that though, around the time of Ciel Route I'd noted a constantly present theme of things being fake vs real, as well as other ideas stemming from this base theme, like attachment to fakes, and fakes becoming real, appearing as early as Shiki thinking about his time with the Arimas and treasuring it despite them not being his real family, and this route works perfectly as the capstone to this theme with it now being what defines an entire character. Also I imagine everyone loves the coffee talk dream and I am no different, one of my favorite scenes in the entire VN.
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Eclipse:
Now I really can't form any proper thoughts on this. Seeing Aoko again felt very warm. I'd read the VN without using the skip scenes feature so I'd seen Shiki curse his failure to thank her 5 times total by now, and seeing him finally get the chance to felt like a perfect bookend to the whole experience. If I'd read this at a more emotional time I have no doubt I would've cried a bit finally reaching it.
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Full VN thoughts:
It's good. It isn't hard at all to see how this got the reputation it did and now it's got me in it's grip too. I'm not the same man I was one month ago.

Following Majora's Mask I decided to replay Minish Cap, since it was a game I was thinking about replaying for the first time in years and cause I've seen some people express ambivalence to it for a couple of years... and after finishing it 100%^, I can see why that is the case, and also why I only really remember the story and setting.

Now granted, it's easy to see how this is one of the stronger cult hit (would it be right to describe it as that?) in the franchise. The aesthetics still hold up so strongly today, the setting and use of Minish and this iteration of Hyrule are very cool and make for some really nice worldbuilding, and both Vaati and Ezlo are some of the more interesting and cool characters in the series, even if they're a bit underutilized in the grand scheme. The shrinking gimmick said Minish provides is something I oddly found to be pretty good, they use it for most cases and there was rarely a time I thought it was pretty arbitrary. It's also nice to play another Zelda game where item usage is very recurring, whether or not that's cause of the 2D nature

Outside of that though... idk, I like it and it provided a decent time, but I can't say anything more than that. The ideas are there, and there's nothing truly awful, but likewise nothing really struck out to me as "wow that was great!" like the past few Zelda games. You could say it's because I'm playing a 2D game now instead of a 3D one, but even then from what I've seen from AlttP, Link's Awakening and the Oracle duology, they play around with the 2D aspect in a much more fun and rewarding way.

I thought Kinstone fusions would suck big-time since that's a go-to criticism, but honestly they're OK. I do hate how the rewards are generally more rupees, shells, or Kinstone pieces, but considering they pretty much loop back to finding another person and fusing them together, also how abundant they are in dungeon and side activities, it's fine, plus Red and Blue fusions more or less being regulated to upgrades and a general growth to the world made that tedium a little easier to digest. Shells are awful though, having to spend several minutes using them for a slot machine to get 130 items necessary for a Heart Piece is the most tedious and aggravating aspect I faced in these 100%^ runs so far, and the fact that my options are to either grind or save scum just made it worse.

All that, coupled with other annoyances like how handholdy this game gets (seriously I did not remember how much obvious dialog was forced onto the player), aside, I still like the game, but it's definitely not one I feel strongly in revisiting.

^ = TECHNICALLY I didn't do 100%, there's medals for getting every Kinstone Fusions, and post-game unlocks like the Mirror Shield and more figurines needed for a medal, but considering those are mainly there for bragging rights, I think I'm fine in saying I at least "mastered" it w/ every Heart, every Tiger Scroll, and every upgrades collected.

Compared to OoT (be it original or even the 3DS remake if you want to count it) this definitely shows its age a smidge more, even when including some of Redux's tweaks like the D-Pad Mask & Ocarina it can still feel tedious (and in rare instances, awful), and despite its dungeon count - including the mini ones - being slightly lower or roughly the same as OoT's, it still ends up feeling lower quality still... which granted doesn't mean much since it's going from "great" to "really good" but I digress

All that said, everything else this has garnered acclaim for has stayed true and then some. Even when other games, including ones later in the series, emulate or display similar ideas, there's truly nothing like Majora's Mask at the end of it all.

Played w/ Nerrel's HD Project and the aforementioned MM Redux hack