Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "Marx loves you. Do you believe in Marx?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Socialist or an Anarchist?" He said, "A Socialist." I said, "Me too! Democratic Socialist or actual Communist?" He said, "Actual Communist." I said, "Me too! What school?" He said, "Marxism." I said, "Me too! Revolutionary Marxism or Reformist Marxism?" He said, "Revolutionary Marxism." I said, "Me too! Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism or Revolutionary Marxism-Trotskyism?"

He said, "Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism." I said, "Me too! Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism, or Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Hoxhaism?" He said, "Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism." I said, "Me too! Regular Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism or Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism-Gonzalo Thought?" He said, "Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism-Gonzalo Thought." I said, "Die liberal!" And I pushed him over.