henway
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "Marx loves you. Do you believe in Marx?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Socialist or an Anarchist?" He said, "A Socialist." I said, "Me too! Democratic Socialist or actual Communist?" He said, "Actual Communist." I said, "Me too! What school?" He said, "Marxism." I said, "Me too! Revolutionary Marxism or Reformist Marxism?" He said, "Revolutionary Marxism." I said, "Me too! Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism or Revolutionary Marxism-Trotskyism?"
He said, "Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism." I said, "Me too! Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism, or Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Hoxhaism?" He said, "Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism." I said, "Me too! Regular Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism or Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism-Gonzalo Thought?" He said, "Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism-Gonzalo Thought." I said, "Die liberal!" And I pushed him over.
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Socialist or an Anarchist?" He said, "A Socialist." I said, "Me too! Democratic Socialist or actual Communist?" He said, "Actual Communist." I said, "Me too! What school?" He said, "Marxism." I said, "Me too! Revolutionary Marxism or Reformist Marxism?" He said, "Revolutionary Marxism." I said, "Me too! Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism or Revolutionary Marxism-Trotskyism?"
He said, "Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism." I said, "Me too! Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism, or Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Hoxhaism?" He said, "Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism." I said, "Me too! Regular Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism or Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism-Gonzalo Thought?" He said, "Revolutionary Marxism-Leninism-Maoism-Gonzalo Thought." I said, "Die liberal!" And I pushed him over.
2018
It’s kind of like Katamari when you think about it. Our pee-wee prince and his big king-of-everything dad who hates him and all his funny-looking cousins too. It’s not the first dating sim about breaking the cycle of generational trauma, but it’s the first one where you can explode your dad with a grenade launcher while you do it.
2024
MY ABODE! SHITE!
Noooo don't cry babe. O'saa + Engrave (F&H symbol) + 1 AGI + Chac chac (x2) + Artificial soul + double black orb (spice forge) = 8800 dmg/turn ok babe?
2001
Feels like a game that, on paper, would only exist as one of those post-2019 Foddian games that exists just to take the piss out of streamers a la Only Up and Pogostuck but it accidentally bled into the main timeline and now we're here. Sort of like an evil Katamari. Ball is life.
This game is just the best designed RPG ever, isn't it? No levelling up, no intrinsic growth, even your EXP bar is repurposed into a burden to manage (hunger). Death is a natural consequence of knowledge acquisition, but saves are part of a grand web of interconnected mechanics so deeply integrated into every facet of gameplay that you're always on top if you're sharp enough, but it's never quite enough to feel safe or satisfied. Sort of takes hints from the Foddy school of thinking in that the challenge is always, to an extent, “real”, and progress is a sort of “you know it when you’ve made it” kind of thing - always under threat of going south after a couple bad turns, however. Everybody else using RPGMaker should give up honestly, there's no more up from here
A game that heaves and quakes under the stress of being played normally.
2024
What a beautiful machine the human body is!!
2002
Hates the player, openly wishes you were dead, and still has nothing as annoying as the fishing tournament in their other game moon. How crazy is that
2021
It's a No More Heroes game, you're not going into it expecting it to be interesting, or even particularly fun - but it has a running B-plot that is Travis and Bishop having a filmbro 'podcast' where they talk exclusively about Takashi Miike at the end of every chapter so unfortunately my hands are tied in saying this is a very very good game. Go watch Ichi the Killer 5 times for a better use of your time.
The real mystery was Tokio's hair colour all along.
2016
It isn't even really a bad game. But this is the least amount of emotion I've ever felt playing a video game. Worse than apathy, No More Heroes 2 made me wonder at multiple points if I even liked video games. I asked myself what I was doing with my life. I feel like a worse person having spent my time on this. Suda51 - if this next game is horseshit - I'm killing you, straight up.
2007
This game has an open world so poorly thought-out and so poorly implemented into the gameplay loop (where a drop-down menu of actions a la Travis' room would easily have sufficed) that it's genuinely such a tragic stain on what would easily be a five-star, no-fucking-around, stone cold killer of a game. At least give me fast travel you fucking peice of shit. I feel like dennis in the it's always sunny episode where he has to get a job and he's going fucking insane in his car every 3 minutes except that's 30% of the game. Then they steal your bike for the last level and force you to walk halfway across the city and in that moment you realise that they genuinely know the game's open world isn't fun whatsoever, and they're straight up laughing at you about it. I would stinkfuck bad girl, no grease, until the room is declared a biohazard