40 reviews liked by ivancolonslash


i used to try and park in this game as a kid

The Finals' servers will close on 08/11/2024. Screenshot this.

inhabits the sense of childness better than most things; the third graders here being utterly unhinged in their expression in a way that rings far more true than either the naive or precocious archetypes that children are often chained to in fiction. in third grade they wrestle with mental health, death, and the eternal cudgel of generational trauma; they respond accordingly with coarse jokes, catastrophic outbursts and reflection; they seek companionship and try to wrangle their feelings; and the outcomes are mercurial and messy and ugly and dumb and real. in third grade these kids they're about what I remember of being in third grade — an impressionistic, heightened portrait, if not always a direct doppelganger

it uses its own status as remake as an opportunity to carve up the format with broad, erratic cuts. equally crushingly earnest and sneering at its own earnestness, picking at its skin with irreverent humour. embracing a need for warmth, kindness, and compassionate understanding while burning its own history with a magnifying glass for fun and interjecting frequently with self conscious fourth wall breaks and edgy non sequiturs

plumbs the depths of rpg maker design to pull elaborate gotchas; a puckish sprit overtaking the game's more perplexing asks. scenarios get increasingly brazen and unmanageable, forcing failure and having you reckon with an endless parade of "what if"s while boasting an undeniable cleverness for the kind of punji stick designs where saving a life's only possible by being hypervigilant to the point of psychic phenomena or counter clockwise time travel

the queasy true ending is the elaborate last showcase of the game's dueling philosophies. telling us what we already know, it sets the table up for unconditional love and understanding before the dealer flips their cards to reveal some things are immutable; the participants bowing out with a hideous BANG, canned laughter, and the wistful murmur of those who want to be better — to themselves, and to those around them

rest in peace parun

This review contains spoilers

i don't.... hate it?? not as much i was expecting to based on the way people talk about it at least. the problems are there and they're pretty obvious - the story and especially the character writing are at their worst in the series by far. The beginning few minutes of the game are spent "getting the band back together" which is to say completely undoing everyone's development and reducing them to the most basic caricatures of themselves. Sly goes from not wanting to be a coward with Carmelita in 3 to being like "fuck it, I actually just love stealing way too much" and just comes off like an asshole. Murray (who gets a shockingly small amount of characterization in this game) goes from not wanting to be the muscle who just punches things, REFUSING to join the gang without approval from his guru to just abandoning his spirituality and saying "Yes I fucking love punching and killing things" and remains that way for the whole game. He has a brief moment of feeling inferior to a literal caveman because he can climb a wall, but then gets over it after beating up Grizz (possibly the worst villain in the series btw). Carmelita is briefly mad at Sly for lying to her for years but just kinda gets over it, she's given the status of actual member of the gang but then does fuck all but be a damsel in distress except for like, 2 missions. There are upgrades for her that are only unlocked after you've completed her last mission in the entire game. what do i need those for man. Bentley doesn't get much except for the Penelope thing, which is a bizarre twist and while I think what they do with it is FINE, it's not really earned, and it's not a satisfying ending for her character.

To praise one thing though I don't mind the villains, they're fun enough. El Jefe is raw and Le Paradox is very hateable. I really like the Cooper ancestors, each one brings one small change to the gameplay but adding these rotating new cast members with different personalities and levels of enthusiasm kept things fresh as you're taken to each new area, which are all pretty cool in their own right.

Aside from the way the ancestors were integrated, the story is fairly lacking. It's like, fine for the most part, until the ending???? it's like the Shenmue 3 thing that everyone made fun of, when it's basically a miracle that your game even got MADE in the first place why would you not do everything with the assumption that you're never gonna get this chance again and spend the game wrapping things up in as satisfying of a way as you can. But then again, just for Thieves in Time's story to even exist it has to undo everything 3 did, and a hypothetical Sly 5 would just have to undo everything 4 did in the hopes of getting to a somewhat satisfying ending.

So maybe story-wise this game should have never even been made, ok whatever. it's at least?? kinda fun???? i think the gameplay is GOOD. it doesn't necessarily feel as tight as it has in the rest of the series and playing as anyone other than Sly is not as fun as it used to be. But once you start getting upgrades and stuff it's still a nice satisfying gameplay loop. i don't think the level design is as fun to explore and platform through as it has been, but it's still fun and looks good.

what else?? i do like this game, it's just hard thinking of any actual things it does really well. i think all the character animations look really good, they capture a lot of everyone's personality. i don't know, not much else can be said really. too many Bentley minigames. clue bottles remain Ass. it's fine!!! i wish this wasn't how the series ended though!! game might have just been doomed from the start, not to fail but to just be kinda "eh" and perform at juuuuust the right level that it ensures a sequel will never ever be made

ppl who say this is the true re3 should be locked in a warehouse

(this game is too damn expensive lol)
I beat this game first back in March, and came back to play it again on hard mode. I can say without a doubt this game is much, much Superior on the harder difficulty and I like it leagues more. I'm coming to realize how much detail and thought was put into this game even for just being a scrapped and edited script of RE4


Haunting Ground stands out to me because it incentives replays through the usage of different play styles you can experiment with, there's sooo much to unlock after beating the game. Fiona has many different accessories and costumes that give her new mechanics, take for example the Cowgirl outfit, equipping this gives Fiona a gun that can make you have a guns blazing approach, or wearing an accessory earring that allows Fiona to turn invisible to be more sneaky. I think this is really awesome and different from a survival horror game because it opens the game up tremendously and encourages new playstyles like in Resident Evil, there's even a ranking system at the end of each playthrough that tells you about your kind of playstyle.

On Standard, I was feeling underwhelmed due to how easy it is to get away from stalkers and survive them but on hard is a much different story, the enemy AI is much smarter now (or at least the first 3 stalkers), they take more effort to shake off your trail, you have to be much smarter when hiding, there were quite some times where stalkers like Riccardo, Debilitas, or Daniella would catch me off guard, and almost one-shot me

I ain't gonna dwell much on the story, since the gameplay really is where I'm most interested, all I know is that I liked Daniella's parts (she can have me btw.) Hewie best boy, and Fiona best girl.

For what it's worth I get the feminist readings and interpretations of what the game is trying to say through the eyes of Fiona, objectification against a woman's will is apparent in it however, I somewhat feel like the game contradicts itself in that category with the alt skimpy costumes you obtain lol. (Not to bash the funny boob physics harshly) Almost in a sense the game kinda wants you in on the sexualization at that point. I think the way to rectify this is Fiona only getting those outfits when she has a weapon of power, or dominance, but I still think it's a slight leap in thought considering parts of this game are an heavy analogy of SA or R*pe. I get where the readings are coming from though.



Most horror games nowadays don't really do much to bring you back but Haunting Ground is unique in this regard because of how many different ways you can run through this game. Wanna run past the sections and speed through the game as quickly as possible? Sure! Wanna get risky and go in guns blazing with all the unlockable costumes, or different items you can craft? Easy. Want to use all those items you've found/crafted to plant traps around the map, and ambush the stalkers with Hewie? Very doable. Want to sneak past your enemies, skip most of the encounters, and scout for all the items? Fun. Want to just max out the dog meter and pet Hewie all day? Go ahead! These are all really optimal playstyles and the game knows it. There are so many different outcomes and little details the game is filled with that sometimes on a new playthrough the game can feel really different and you'll encounter something new that you didn't last time.

If the game isn't gripping you after a first playthrough, I don't blame you! Haunting Ground is one of those games that gets better on a replay as you understand how things work, the game opens up much more after completion, it's a game im currently learning to luv. I think that's really neat.
My only real gripes with this game is some of the level design gets weaker in some sections in the last quarter of the game given how strong it is in the main 3 sections, or the inconsistency of Hewie's AI that sometimes lead to deaths.
The game does a poor job explaining some of the mechanics like Hewie for example but I think some of that is apart of the experience, like the lack of a UI hud for the game. The game would be infinitely easier if there was a HUD that showed health or stamina and even your bond with Hewie throughout the game. You have to rely more so on the animations, AI behaviors, and aesthetical cues to understand how things are operating to apply the proper judgment of the situation, I think that's a smart choice on the designers of this game, makes you pay attention more. This game is by no means a perfect cookie, but the kind of cookie that gets better as you take another bite.

If there is something else I would add though in the game would be a limited saves mode (ink ribbons like from RE) where you can only save through an item (like the chips) but that's just me dreaming lol.

Might make a video explaining its mechanics for it who knows lol

if you'd like to, you can engrave a metal plate with the word CUM

My final rank was "Top Breeder"

What did they mean by this?
Either way it's peak stalker horror

I did indeed mash up the place