474 Reviews liked by kaz9399
Bayonetta 3
2022
I don't give a dead moose's last shit about Helena Taylor or whether the ending betrayed your fanfiction about Bayo and Jeanne. This game took 5 years from announcement to release and it is a smelly mess.
The combat has been even further dumbed down from bayo 2, giving you Demon Summons to use in battle. Basically, you hit a button and a giant comes in and does some big attacks in the arena. This means, to balance this, all the enemies have been transformed into lumbering giant idiot damage sponges instead of the intelligent dangerous foes they used to be. We're a long LONG ways away from Grace and Glory, here.
The main story sucks too. Half the time you're not playing the damn game, you're doing some obnoxious setpiece mini game. Oh you wanna fight dudes and practice combos? Too bad here's a part where you surf on Godzillas back down a skyscraper. It all looks terrible due to it being too much for the switch to handle, and it runs at an inconsistent framerate to boot. I felt like I was playing a bad rerelease of a 2009 PS3 game.
Thats all I can remember because I haven't played this game outside of maybe a month after release because it was so underwhelming. I still come back to bayo 1 to run through Angel slayer from time to time, I will never come back to this slop.
The combat has been even further dumbed down from bayo 2, giving you Demon Summons to use in battle. Basically, you hit a button and a giant comes in and does some big attacks in the arena. This means, to balance this, all the enemies have been transformed into lumbering giant idiot damage sponges instead of the intelligent dangerous foes they used to be. We're a long LONG ways away from Grace and Glory, here.
The main story sucks too. Half the time you're not playing the damn game, you're doing some obnoxious setpiece mini game. Oh you wanna fight dudes and practice combos? Too bad here's a part where you surf on Godzillas back down a skyscraper. It all looks terrible due to it being too much for the switch to handle, and it runs at an inconsistent framerate to boot. I felt like I was playing a bad rerelease of a 2009 PS3 game.
Thats all I can remember because I haven't played this game outside of maybe a month after release because it was so underwhelming. I still come back to bayo 1 to run through Angel slayer from time to time, I will never come back to this slop.
Bayonetta 3
2022
Solid. Not as good as Bayonetta 1 and 2, but a good entry into the series, nevertheless. Combat was good but the story left a lot to be desired.
Elden Ring
2022
this is a perfect video game
Riding off of 358/2 Days, I expected something better as this game is on a handheld with higher fidelity than the DS, but this game took everything I liked and appreciated about Days and took a big ol' horse shit on it.
If I had to describe this game in one word, it'd be "useless."
This game fails at everything it attempts to do. The characters are terrible, by having another trio reflection of Sora, Riku, and Kairi, but with no personality or defining character traits to make them stand out. The first instance of downright terrible writing in the series, with characters being so oblivious to Xehanort's motives that it almost borders on being a satire of the plot of the Star Wars' prequels. And the worst gameplay in the series, with terrible mechanics such as Command Finishers, Command Styles, and Shotlocks, bundled together in an engine that is two steps away from shitting itself.
For a game that is meant to set up the next major story arc in the series, it's the most contrived, convoluted, and boring series of retcons I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing.
If I had to describe this game in one word, it'd be "useless."
This game fails at everything it attempts to do. The characters are terrible, by having another trio reflection of Sora, Riku, and Kairi, but with no personality or defining character traits to make them stand out. The first instance of downright terrible writing in the series, with characters being so oblivious to Xehanort's motives that it almost borders on being a satire of the plot of the Star Wars' prequels. And the worst gameplay in the series, with terrible mechanics such as Command Finishers, Command Styles, and Shotlocks, bundled together in an engine that is two steps away from shitting itself.
For a game that is meant to set up the next major story arc in the series, it's the most contrived, convoluted, and boring series of retcons I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing.
Terra? I barely even know her!
A grating, hyperactive narrative that indulges every obnoxious JRPG trope the first one managed to avoid. Soldier through it and you’re rewarded with a sublime combat system that improves on the first game’s, with enough variety to last you upwards of a thousand hours. I’m mixed on this one, but its strengths are undeniable.
i mean. i started playing this because a guy i know spent 1 hour trying to convince me that eva ushiromiya is a lot like cersei lannister. but he was kinda right: it IS a life-changing masterpiece
Persona 5
2016
Persona 5 is to JRPG's what Cowboy Bebop is to anime.
Chrono Trigger
1995
I started this game 4 years ago when I first started getting back into playing single player games. My friend and I were playing it simultaneously, we got about 5 hours in and then we never continued it even though we both enjoyed it at the time. Fast forward to March 1, 2024 when the legend Akira Toriyama passed away, the sole reason I got into anime which eventually led to JRPG's. After the news I felt like I had to experience this game rather sooner than later so I hopped in the stu and started it from the beginning.
Chrono Trigger is a masterpiece that still holds up to this day. I can't believe that something of this caliber came out two months before I was even born, just crazy to think about lol. There's so many awesome details whether it be related to the story, the lovely sprites or even the gameplay itself. Obviously with a story about time traveling, things will be different in the future if you change the past but I love the way it's utilized here. It is best showcased during everyone's side quests during The Fated Hour, in my opinion. Minor spoiler and this is just an example but there is a certain part where you're trying to get an item but this person won't give it to you. So you go into the past and give their ancestor something they wanted for free, they in return won't forget about our good deed and then teach their children all about kindness. We now go back into the future, now this person with the item is very kind and gives it to us instead. So freaking cool and this was a pretty minor event from a damn side quest.
My favorite part about the game was the combat and by that I mean figuring out each and every boss. These encounters were all so different, with unique mechanics and gimmicks. It felt really satisfying figuring out their weaknesses as well as timing your turns to heal yourself after devastating attacks. Gotta love the fact that the combo moves are indeed literally combined moves, like how Frog's Slurp and Ayla's kiss becomes Slurp Kiss. Also can't forget that water is so good that they made water 2, that's crazy..
I love all the characters, especially Frog and Ayla for carrying me throughout the game. Everyone else... please forgive me. They all had their moments though and I teared up when I saw them in the animated cutscene during the credits. Just peak.
The soundtrack is phenomenal, every single piece is a banger and I definitely can not pick a favorite because there's just too many mighty fine tracks.
Very glad that I gave Chrono Trigger another shot after 4 years, I've always wanted to beat it ever since I started my little JRPG journey and now I have!
Rest in peace, Akira Toriyama. Thank you for everything.
Chrono Trigger is a masterpiece that still holds up to this day. I can't believe that something of this caliber came out two months before I was even born, just crazy to think about lol. There's so many awesome details whether it be related to the story, the lovely sprites or even the gameplay itself. Obviously with a story about time traveling, things will be different in the future if you change the past but I love the way it's utilized here. It is best showcased during everyone's side quests during The Fated Hour, in my opinion. Minor spoiler and this is just an example but there is a certain part where you're trying to get an item but this person won't give it to you. So you go into the past and give their ancestor something they wanted for free, they in return won't forget about our good deed and then teach their children all about kindness. We now go back into the future, now this person with the item is very kind and gives it to us instead. So freaking cool and this was a pretty minor event from a damn side quest.
My favorite part about the game was the combat and by that I mean figuring out each and every boss. These encounters were all so different, with unique mechanics and gimmicks. It felt really satisfying figuring out their weaknesses as well as timing your turns to heal yourself after devastating attacks. Gotta love the fact that the combo moves are indeed literally combined moves, like how Frog's Slurp and Ayla's kiss becomes Slurp Kiss. Also can't forget that water is so good that they made water 2, that's crazy..
I love all the characters, especially Frog and Ayla for carrying me throughout the game. Everyone else... please forgive me. They all had their moments though and I teared up when I saw them in the animated cutscene during the credits. Just peak.
The soundtrack is phenomenal, every single piece is a banger and I definitely can not pick a favorite because there's just too many mighty fine tracks.
Very glad that I gave Chrono Trigger another shot after 4 years, I've always wanted to beat it ever since I started my little JRPG journey and now I have!
Rest in peace, Akira Toriyama. Thank you for everything.
when im in a misogyny competition and my opponent is hideo kojima😨😨
I know I haven't played that many Zelda games in my life, but to me, this has got to be one of the best 3D Zelda games.
It might look a bit ugly compared to other games in the series, and in some areas, it suffers from the usual tedium that traditional Zelda games give me (Especially during temples); but what can I say, this game hooked me and I really enjoyed the whole journey.
A part of me would like to revisit it some day, now having a bit more experience...But another part of me just can't go back to the traditional Zelda formula after experiencing BotW and TotK. If you want to get into Zelda tho, I would say this is a damn good game to start with; way more fun than Ocarina of Time imo, even with motion controls and everything.
Also, midget Midna awoke something in me that I didn't even know I had....
It might look a bit ugly compared to other games in the series, and in some areas, it suffers from the usual tedium that traditional Zelda games give me (Especially during temples); but what can I say, this game hooked me and I really enjoyed the whole journey.
A part of me would like to revisit it some day, now having a bit more experience...But another part of me just can't go back to the traditional Zelda formula after experiencing BotW and TotK. If you want to get into Zelda tho, I would say this is a damn good game to start with; way more fun than Ocarina of Time imo, even with motion controls and everything.
Also, midget Midna awoke something in me that I didn't even know I had....
I get why the trans women in my old college loved this one
A rocky start but that combat just gets better and better
rex is an amazing main character who never stops being entertaining and interesting, the combat is pretty simple and wont be difficult, but its really smooth and coherent especially when you are far into the game
Demon's Souls
2009
Ok
Elden Ring, is the nice boy in class, he has all the good grades, he's not particularly ugly, he's cultivated, he'll likely gonna get into a good university once he's gonna graduate, he seems to have no flaws, except one, he's painfully boring in its flawlessness
Demon's Souls on the other hand, he's the bad boy , he's dark, sinister, a bit cringe , he has black hair, he makes barely passable poetry , he smokes marijuana and is involved with several case of high school crime, he always brings a guitar and listen to 21 pilot on his airpods, not the kinda guy you should get interrested in, he looks silly , he looks like a fucking looser, he thinks he's goat, but he's not goat, he's just a piece of shit edgy kids and oh my god I hate this guy, but one day you go to a party
Who did you end up in bed with ? That's right , not fucking ER, he's too good for this, It's DeS, you woke up next morning, and he fucked you and you look past the bed border and your mom is lying on the floor , fucked like she never has been before. Then he wokes up with pancackes, kiss you goodbye and leaves you with a teen pregnancy he's never gonna act upon. But the memory of such an experience will last with you for the rest of your goddamn life
Elden Ring, is the nice boy in class, he has all the good grades, he's not particularly ugly, he's cultivated, he'll likely gonna get into a good university once he's gonna graduate, he seems to have no flaws, except one, he's painfully boring in its flawlessness
Demon's Souls on the other hand, he's the bad boy , he's dark, sinister, a bit cringe , he has black hair, he makes barely passable poetry , he smokes marijuana and is involved with several case of high school crime, he always brings a guitar and listen to 21 pilot on his airpods, not the kinda guy you should get interrested in, he looks silly , he looks like a fucking looser, he thinks he's goat, but he's not goat, he's just a piece of shit edgy kids and oh my god I hate this guy, but one day you go to a party
Who did you end up in bed with ? That's right , not fucking ER, he's too good for this, It's DeS, you woke up next morning, and he fucked you and you look past the bed border and your mom is lying on the floor , fucked like she never has been before. Then he wokes up with pancackes, kiss you goodbye and leaves you with a teen pregnancy he's never gonna act upon. But the memory of such an experience will last with you for the rest of your goddamn life